Ellipsis
by weirdocaitlin
Summary: Bella's chaotic life shifts when her parents send her to a boarding school in Ithaca. Her nightmarish past comes back to haunt her, but the mysterious Edward Cullen enters her life. I TOTALLY SUCK AT SUMMARIES. Trust me, better than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

**I was inspired to write this story by a dream I had. The plot line and everything was laid out in the dream and i was compelled to start it. This is not the usual story I write. I guess the big guy upstairs is telling me to write something new. I guess you could call it a different version of twilight, but it has a lot more characters and more than one conflict. This first chapter is long, but very informative. I hope you like it! PLEASE review and tell me if it's any good! And thank you to all my dedicated fans who write and spread my stories!**

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Chapter 1

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"Bella, I think this will help you. You need to be around different people. People who aren't so…" she searched for the right words without offending me. "Protective." Renee was lecturing me how sending me to an expensive boarding school would help improve my behavior and character.

"My friends have a reason for being so 'protective' Mom." I used the air quotations. If it weren't for her, my friends wouldn't be threatening to kill people who fucked with me. I am glad for their watchful eyes. If it weren't for them, I'd be roasting in hell by now. "I don't understand what you have against them mom. They are great friends. They are better friends to me than _you _are." I said pointedly.

She scowled. "I don't know what you're talking about Bella. I have tried to help you, but you won't let me. And what do I not like about your so called 'friends'?" She put her hands on her hips like a pissed off third grader. "They turned you against your family, took away the good girl in you, and it has tortured Phil and I both." I instinctively tugged at my long sleeved shirt to make sure I was covered.

Oh right. I _completely_ forgot about how Renee and Phil were so heart-broken about my behavior. Oh, how they _sobbed_ for hours thinking their daughter was abusing them and how she hated them. I forgot how mom was so hurt that Phil took her shopping for those pretty diamonds she now wore around her neck. I could also tell by the glares she's been giving me that she loves me too much to keep me here. Bullshit.

I glared back at her. "Oh yes, I have hurt you deeply haven't I?" I threw my hands over my head. "OH the HUMANITY!" I put the back of my hand over my forehead dramatically. "And the only way to cure the pain is to buy the best diamonds Phil's money can buy. Oh, but the Gucci shoes are so comforting! They rid my clouded mind of all negative thoughts about my troubled daughter." I acted like Renee. "Look mom, I like my friends here. They are good friends, the kind that take care of you when you're hurt or in trouble, the kind that will comfort you when you are upset or pissed. You on the other hand," I pointed, "send me to a fucking therapist! You are too fucking lazy to just_ ask_ what is wrong and fix the problem yourself. You don't even bother to give me hugs anymore because you are to scared to wrinkle you're silk Pucci dress, or break a freshly manicured nail. How pathetic." I began to walk away. These arguments were just getting too old.

"I'm not going." I ran upstairs and slammed my bedroom door shut.

I heard mom yell back. "Oh yes you are young lady! Phil has already paid for the first semester, uniform, supplies, and plane ticket. You are going even if we have to get a forklift to get you on." I totally zoned out as I blew my iPod stereo as loud as it would go. Flyleaf blasted into my ears and I closed my eyes. I rolled up my sleeves, gazed absent mindedly at my arms, and relived every single fight she ever had with Renee since she married Phil.

Phil this, Phil that. I don't even watch major league baseball. But thankfully, Jake will be here soon to spring me.

I opened my eyes and looked out my window. It's getting dark out. He's still not here. I looked at the clock. It read 6:30. He should be here any minute.

Jake is practically my savior. Yeah, he does a bunch of shit that most people die doing, but he cares for me like a little sister. Jake is part of a crew most people don't want to mess with. After he saw me that day, I was part of his crew and nobody did shit to me anymore. Not even Him. Jake saved me from suicide, a couple of mental breakdowns, and potential murder. Even Jake didn't go as far as murder. Well, almost. The crew did street racing, drugs, parties, drinking, stuff that most goody teenagers like what I used to be didn't get involved with. But when I became one of the crew, I didn't mind doing these things. It actually helped a lot.

I heard the familiar roar of a Ducati crotch rocket. I looked out the window and found my savior waiting across the street.

I quickly threw on a black hat and sweatshirt with my low top All Stars. I threw my hidden sneak ladder out my window and descended all the way to the ground. The cold hit me like an icy wave. I put up the hood on my sweatshirt to protect my ears. I pulled the string that was tied to the window and pulled while watching the ladder crawl back up into my bedroom window. I snuck out our front gate, ran across the street and jumped onto the bike. We raced out of sight.

We rode past all the million dollar homes in my neighborhood and soon reached the main street. We cut off a couple of cars and sped onto the highway. We were probably going eighty, racing toward downtown Dallas, and going to where all the bad action was.

We finally exited the highway about ten minutes later. I saw a couple of the crew's bikes slow down and wait for us up ahead. We raced all the way to a dark alley a couple of miles later.

Jake finally stopped and turned off his bike. When he took off his helmet he turned to look at me. I let go of his back and sat sidesaddle on the bike.

"What's up Iz?" He used my nickname.

"Nothing good Jake. I'm in deep shit unless you can get me out." I admitted.

He looked confused. Everyone else leaned against their bikes and took off their helmets to listen.

"What kind of trouble? Is it the fuzz? Or is it those mother fuckers back at hell's mansion that call themselves your parents?" When he said the last part, the firm line on his mouth sank into a grimace.

"The second one," I held up two fingers and finally looked up at him.

Jake didn't look like the gangster that he really was. He looked more like a popular quarter back on the school football team. He was certainly that hot. His blond hair was styled with a buzz cut, he had steel blue eyes, a sharp jaw, perfectly tanned skin, and perfectly toned muscles. He looked like a bodyguard with the way he was always hovering over me protectively. Not that I minded.

He groaned angrily. "What did that bastard do this time?" He growled.

I shook my head. "It's not Phil. Its his bitch of a wife that's forcing me to attend a boarding school in New York City." I spat out.

It grew very silent. Jake had his lips slightly parted in surprise, though his eyes were balls of fury. I glanced at Jason, Kyle, Jared, Sean, and my best friend Becky. They all shared the same look as Jake.

I sighed. "She says she wants me to straighten my attitude and shape up my character," I started. "She basically wants me away from you guys because she thinks you are the ones destroying my future and tearing apart my family. She's too arrogant to realize she's doing that herself."

Jake stood up sharply. "That slut!" He shouted. "She doesn't know what happened to you! She doesn't even care!" I glanced around our little circle. Sean was the next to comment.

"Bitch," he spat. "We won't let her do that to you, Iz. She can't take you away from the good life you have built. She can't take away your sense of safety like that." His voice was low and filled with anger.

"It's not her that can. It's Phil," I crossed my arms over my chest. "She says she is getting my on that plane whether I like it or not. They are basically sending me away so I'm not their problem anymore. She just wants to have the freedom to fuck the bastard without me around to call her a whore. I haven't even spoken to Charlie since…" I couldn't speak it. It was worse than committing sin to talk about it.

Jason was next to have a say. "Maybe that might be your way out Iz," He switched his weight. "I know you don't really get along with him, and you don't like Washington, but would you really rather be in New York than with your dad?" He looked defeated. What the hell was this? Nobody ever gave up this easily. Thankfully someone agreed with me.

"No Jason," Becky spoke out. "It would be better for her to go to New York because there we can bust her out. Remember? Charlie is a cop. He won't let her go so easily. Breaking her out of a boarding school where it's everyone for themselves? Think about it stupid." She glared sarcastically at him.

Becky was the only other girl in the group. She helped me with girly stuff, like wardrobe, feminine bikes, make-up (though I hardly wore any), and educated me on good music. She treated me like I was her daughter or something. All I have to say is watch out for Becky when you fuck with kids. Because when she was a kid, she was thoroughly fucked with.

Becky's dad worked under Bill Gates at Windows. He was a rich bastard. He went to Vegas and knocked up one of the showgirls. She gave birth to Rebecca Diane. Her dad didn't really pay much attention to her growing up until she hit the age of fourteen. Then he started coming into her room at night, presenting her with gifts, giving her massages, touching her…

When she told her mom about it, her mom just screamed that it wasn't true and that she was a lying little brat. The next night her dad came into her room, she bludgeoned him with a bat into unconciousness. She told the cops and he was charged with sexual assault and sentenced to 25 years.

On his way back home from the courthouse, he sped furiously into a red light and got hit with an eighteen-wheeler. Her mom was

But she has been supportive of me since Jake opened his circle to me.

Jason suddenly piped up. Any trouble he can cause, he will agree to it whole-heartedly.

"That's always an option," Jake said. "But we'd have to get a lot of cash to be able to even get there. But for Bella," using my name for the first time in a while, while wrapping an arm around me. "Anything." I leaned into his touch. He kissed the top of my head. He was the best brother any girl could have. When he protected me from shit like this, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

"Anything," everybody agreed. I glanced around, and smiled at all my friends.

"Thanks guys," I said. Tears were thick in my throat.

For the first time I noticed where we were. We were outside our favorite bar. Cheap drinks and no noise limit. Plus, we knew the guy who owned the joint. Jake had the best connections in town. We all got up and started walking toward the bar's back entrance with a sign over it that said, "Bobby's" in fancy green neon lighting. Jake kept an arm over my shoulders and I kept mine wrapped around his lower back. Jason opened up the door for us and warm air that smelled thickly of beer, rushed past me. Jason took Becky's hand (the two were dating) and walked in after us.

Yeah, Becky picked on Jason a lot, but he didn't mind. They say they aren't going to get married, but I think those two were destined.

Bobby stood behind the bar with a towel over his shoulder and was pouring drinks. The place was empty except for us.

"Hey guys!" He greeted when he looked up from wiping the counter. We all took a seat at the bar.

"Hey Bobby. Can we get a couple of rounds? Someone has had a hard night," he glanced down at me from the corner of his eyes.

He laughed. "Anything for my dearest children!" He considered us his children for a good reason. His business was going out, but his drinks and prices were good. So we spread word and he got enough business to keep him going. He's an old man, about sixty, and had owned the pub for thirty years before we walked in. When we met him, he was always kind to us. He provided us with water when we came in from a long trip, brought out his double barrel shot gun when trouble followed us into the bar, and told hilarious stories of when he was in Vietnam and his war buddies. They did the wildest things in their youth.

He poured us all Guinness beer on tap. He knew I wasn't fond of beer, so he slid me a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"Thanks Bobby," I said.

"So," he turned around to face us and leaned against the backside of the bar. "What kind of trouble did you get yourselves into this time?" He glanced at his watch. "Record timing, too. It's only seven." He shrugged and looked at me for an answer.

Awkward silence. I sighed in defeat when everybody else turned to me also.

"My bitch of a mother and ass of a step-dad have decided I need an attitude adjustment and are sending me to a bitchy private boarding school in New York City where it's rich bitches galore." I explained. Bobby actually looked furious.

"Maybe if they found out why you had an attitude problem they would save themselves the trouble of paying for a therapist and boarding school," he grumbled.

"I actually _did_ try to explain to my mom that it was her fault, but then she turned it around and said it was my friends' fault. I've tried to tell her everything but she is still in denial." I rolled my eyes dramatically.

Bobby reached across the counter and put his hand on top of mine while Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulders again. "Is there anything I can do? I know you hate those kinds of people Hon and I don't want to see you suffering through something else. You have enough on your plate," he said solemnly.

I looked to Jake and everybody. Jake-surprise- launched into his master plan of my great escape from the hellish prison.

"She has to go. That's a given. Her father will move heaven and earth to get her there. It's obvious that they want nothing to do with Iz," I winced. "So here's the plan. We want to ride up there and bust her out, but that's going to take a lot of cash. Cash that we don't exactly have. So we need to raise money to ride there and back with her. We don't want her to wait long, so we need to fabricate a plan to get that money. Legally," he added when he saw Jason with his crooked smile. Becky elbowed him to shut up.

Bobby closed his eyes. "That's going to take a lot of work. I might be able to help you, but I barely get by on what I make. I can possibly take a little out of savings, but I will need to retire eventually. I can ask around for favors or sponsors otherwise. I know that you guys have a lot of friends that are willing to help."

I smiled. "Yeah. I may have a mess of a home, but I got my best family and friends right here." Jake squeezed me and I hugged back.

"Aw! We love you too Iz!" Everybody gathered around me to give a hug. Even Bobby walked from around the counter to join the club.

We dispersed from our group embrace and Bobby turned on the Cowboys game. I moved over and sat next to Becky. We weren't really into those kinds of guy things. Drinking, yes. Drugs, not me, but the rest of them did. Sex, them. Street racing, yes. Shopping, yes. But sports? Hell no.

I took a swig from my lemonade and stared down at the wood design on the counter. Becky slipped an arm around me and I looked up at her.

"Things are going to turn out all right," she cooed. Then she smiled. "You know how Jake is when his little sister's in trouble. God forbid anybody get in his way." We both laughed at that. "Seriously. Don't worry about it. We will find some way to get the money. You'll just have to hold out until we do. Get the money that is."

I looked back at my drink. "Yeah. It's going to totally suck without you guys. They are probably all going to stare at me like I'm a freak. They always did until I became friends with you guys. It's going to be hell again. Nobody knows or wants to know the story. They are arrogant ass holes that fan themselves with daddy's money to get some action. They are all rich and shallow. You know why I don't spend Phil's money?" I asked her. Becky just shook her head.

"Phil wants to control me. If I spend his money, then I will probably want more of it and end up like those rich girls. If I'm dependent on the money he gives me, he'll know that he can control me. I don't want him to have that ability. Were you with me and Jake when Phil bought me that Audi R8?"

She looked out from the corners of her eyes to show she was thinking. "I know that he bought you one, but I never see you use it." She finally said.

Jake walked away from the boys and came to sit with us. "You talkin' about that car?" I nodded. He smiled mischievously.

"I'll tell her. Okay, so Phil wanted me to behave, so he tried to buy me up with a nice car. I let him believe that he finally gained control of me by accepting his oh so generous gift. Oh my God you should've seen my mom's face. She looked like an evil, satisfied dictator who had accomplished taking over the world!" Jake and I laughed in synch. "Anyways, I told Jake about how pissed I was about it. He came up with the brilliant plan to express my resistance to Phil's bribery." I turned to him so he could finish the story.

"I told her we should destroy the car." He smiled even wider.

"The only way you convinced me of that was because you told me to imagine the look on Phil and Renee's faces when they saw it." I giggled. "I never knew it would be that satisfying," I admitted.

"Heh, yeah. So we took the car out for a while to make it look legit," he explained. "But when we came back, we stopped at the end of the driveway behind Phil's pretty little Mercedes McClaren. We both got out, but I told her to hide behind the bushes. I left the car running, and grabbed a small boulder and left it on the gas. The car went full speed into his Mclaren and then both cars broke through the garage door." We couldn't hold in a good laugh, so we'd burst into laughter and everyone in the bar (a couple of normal people came in for drinks) turned to stare at us. Becky couldn't even hold it in.

I calmed down a little to tell the funniest part of the story. "So when the Audi was finished plowing through everyone's cars, Phil and Renee finally walked out and saw the destruction zone," a giggle burst through my lips. "The looks on their faces…Phil's was of pure horror and Renee looked like a cornered dog with rabies," I giggled like an idiot. Jake joined in trying to keep the laughter level down. "I remember than Jake and I booked down the street to let out our laughs."

"Wow," Becky gawked. "You two sure know how to raise hell."

"I'll take that as I complement." I told her.

Becky asked, "Didn't he also try to buy you out with nice clothes?" I froze. The bags filled with clothes, the high-heeled pumps. All those girly little trinkets and necklaces. I tugged at my sleeves and pulled them over my hands. A shiver ran down my spine and Jake took hold of me. He shook his head at Becky.

"No. It's okay. Yeah he did try to buy me out with clothes, but I just gave it all to my mom." I gulped down the rest of my lemonade in one swig. I gasped and slammed the bottle down. "Hey Bobby," I yelled down the bar. "Can I get another round?" he nodded. "Thanks."

"Sorry," Becky apologized. "I shouldn't have brought that up."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it." Bobby slid another lemonade and I caught it. I started drinking fast. Jake knew how tonight was going to end and put down his beer. Someone had to drive home.

"Whoa!" I said as I got onto the bike holding my 10th bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade. "This is a really cool bike you got Jake!" I complemented him.

He sighed. "You're just saying that because you're drunk. Again." He was basically my older brother, so of course he was concerned when my alcohol consumption became an issue.

"I am NOT-" hiccup "drunk!" I slurred. You could always tell when I'm drunk because I hiccup like Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I certainly did look like her with my snow-white skin and curly mahogany hair.

"You are lying and I'm taking you home. My brother would be pissed if I brought home a drunk girl. He'd get the wrong idea." Jake lived with his brother because his parents died in a car accident when he was twelve. He gets good grades in school, but does really stupid shit.

"Nooo! I don't want to go back to the house of hell! Why are you doing this? Can't you just pretend I'm not drunk and take me back to your place?" I begged. I never usually slept at Phil's place. Jake always took me home with him because his brother is a great guy and didn't mind housing messed up teenage girls. His brother was a successful businessman. They lived in a semi-large house in Plano, but only Jake spent large amounts of money on bikes.

"You can't pretend you aren't drunk when you are. And don't worry. I'll stay over tonight. It's a weekend anyway."

"She's totally wasted isn't she?" I heard Becky ask. I couldn't see her because I was pressing my face into Jake's back.

"Yeah. But she had a good excuse anyways. She has too much shit to deal with anyway. If this helps," he shrugged, "I'm not gonna stop her. She deserves a night off anyway." He turned around a put a helmet on my head. He also took my bottle away and threw it into the garbage dumpster. Then he started the engine.

I waved goodbye to all my friends. Not sure if this was the last time I was going to see them. They all smiled and waved back. Jake shot forward on his bike and I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

He kept the speed limit reasonable (we were in no rush to get back to my place) as we weaved around the cars on the highway. I nearly fell asleep on his back. And every time I hiccupped I could feel him shake with laughter. All I did was scowl into his back.

We pulled off the highway and I groaned. That meant that we were close. He patted my hands that were gripping his shirt in the front sympathetically. Though I should probably be thanking him for staying with me. No one should have to deal with the shit I do. Especially not the guy who cares for me. That wasn't fair to him.

The gate to the house opened and I nearly burst into tears. Most likely it was because of the drinking, but I didn't notice at the moment. Jake pulled up in front and stopped behind my mom's cute little M3. He shut off the engine and pulled off his helmet.

"Ready to go inside?" He asked with fake enthusiasm.

HICCUP.

"I'll take that as a no." He unwrapped my arms and took off my helmet for me. He got off the bike and I attempted to, but my foot caught trying to swing it over and would've fallen flat on my face if it weren't for Jake catching me.

"I'm fine," I said waving my hand at him.

"No you're not. You're drunk." He swept my legs out from under me and held me like a baby in his arms. And when you compare our sizes, I'm not that far off.

"Says who?" I scowled. "HICCUP!" My hand flew to my chest. "OW."

"Says your hiccups. They better shut up long enough to get you to your room before your parents notice."

Just as he said that we walked through the front door. I looked into the high ceiling living room and saw my mom and Phil sitting across from each other on the couches. They were probably planning some way to throw me in the baggage storage instead of giving me a seat with the passengers.

"Hey folks!" I giggled. For some odd reason they looked funny at the moment.

Renee stood up to turn around and glare at me. "What did you do to her?" Her question was directed toward Jake who was heading toward the curved staircase.

He returned the glare. "I believe the appropriate question here is what did _you _do?" He corrected her defiantly.

She scoffed. Then glared at me. "Do you have any idea what time it is Isabella?" Uh oh. She only used my full name when she was super-pissed. "Just so you know, it's two thirty. Your curfew is one. What in Gods name were you doing out at two in the morning?"

I glared at her. "Oh shut your face and quit bitching. You and Phil are busy fucking till at least three. And I actually have to listen to it!" I yelled and watched her jaw drop and her cheeks flush a violent red. "So don't be giving me shit about being out with friends at two in the morning where you can't hear me when whenever I'm here, I'm up till an earliest of three listening to your groaning." I finished proudly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jake smirking.

"Is she drunk?" Phil roared. Of course he would come to Renee's rescue. 'Oh! My hero!'

"Shut the fuck up you bastard!" I screamed at him. "And I am NOT-" HICCUP "-drunk!" I swallowed strongly to ease the pain in my chest.

Jake closed his eyes and sighed. "Here we go."

Phil's face turned red. "What are you doing here? You get her drunk and bring her back here to us so we can deal with it?" He rushed up to Jake and me and got up in our faces.

Jake scowled. "You don't exactly deal with it," he mumbled.

"How DARE you get my daughter drunk-" I interrupted him with screaming.

I shoved my hand in his face. "Don't you DARE call me your daughter!" I screamed. Jake winced at my volume. "I'm not yours I'm Charlie's! He's more of a father than you are, you controlling bastard! Why are you here when you should by frying in hell?!" I started pointing at him while Jake started hauling my ass up the stairs. My mom got all pissy and protective when I spoke the truth about Phil. So I wasn't surprised when she ran to the bottom of the stairs and slapped my face.

"Don't talk to him like that! You ungrateful little witch-" she didn't finish because Jake kicked her and she landed flat on her ass with a squeaked, "oh!"

Jake marched up the stairs, satisfied with his actions. Nobody messed with Jake. He was twice the size and muscle mass of Phil and Renee combined.

We entered my room and Jake kicked the door shut with a SLAM! He put me down and I stumbled stupidly over to my bed.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Jake stood in the doorway with his hands on his hips, looking exasperated. He smiled at me. "You are pretty funny when you're drunk," he said with a laugh.

"I'm not funny, I'm honest." I told him. "What do you mean anyways?"

He walked over and sat criss-cross on the bed facing me.

"How you told them you were sick of hearing about their sex life at three in the morning."

"Like I said," I pointed out, "honest."

Fatigue slammed into my head. I yawned loudly. I yanked off my sweatshirt and t-shirt, and then slipped of my jeans. I didn't worry about Jake seeing me in my undies. He was like a brother. He didn't think that way.

I dropped my head onto my pillow and closed my eyes. I felt Jake get off the bed and pull my covers over me.

"Thanks dude," I said sleepily.

He brushed my hair out of my face. "No problem. Love you Bells."

"Back atchya." I heard him let out a silent laugh. I felt him take the free pillow next to me and the big afghan from the end of my bed. I heard him settle onto the floor before I slipped into deep sleep.

I knew I was having a nightmare, but I still couldn't move. My room was black as pitch and Jake was nowhere to be found. I heard a door cock open and saw the monster. His face was contorted with evil intentions. He had a broad smirk and his red eyes were slits. His hair was in wild disarray and his hands were tensed as if to grab. I cringed away, but I was backed into a corner like I always was in these nightmares. He grew closer and he laughed a dark and slow laugh. I felt myself begin to hyperventilate and pulled my legs together in a huddle while pulling my sleeves over my hands. I began to whimper. This made the monster laugh louder. He got a kick out of my fear. I tried to contain it, but I knew what this monster was going to do to me. The monster grinned mischievously and reached for me…

Before the monster could touch me, I woke up screaming. I felt someone grab my wrist. I gasped and tried to cover my arms. I traced the arm to the body it was attatched to, half expecting it to be the monster. Thankfully I found only Jake.

"Are you alright?" He asked. He rubbed my lower arms and gazed at me with panic stricken eyes.

I was trying to slow my hyperventilating. I wiped away the sheet of sweat on my forehead and tried to take a deep breath and failing.

"Yeah. I'm all right now. It was just a bad dream. Don't worry about it." I told him calm faced, though my heart was still beating like a drum roll.

Jake frowned. He climbed onto my bed and pulled me into a hug. This touch didn't frighten me. It took me a year after he found me to get used to it. I hugged him back and slowed my breathing and felt my pulse return to a normal tempo. Jake rubbed small circles on my back to comfort me. It worked. He let go and I pulled away.

I glanced at the clock on my stereo and it read ten thirty. Just as I turned to say something, my mother barged into my room.

She was already fully dressed (Prada pumps) and in full make-up (why would she need make-up at ten thirty in the morning?). She looked normal and as careless as always until she saw Jake sitting across from me. Then she scowled at me. I suddenly looked down and realized that I was wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and bikini underwear. I threw the covers back over me and glared.

"You didn't," she said with a warning.

I gaped. "God no!" I screeched. "Jake would never! Just because you can't be around a guy friend with only underwear on and keep your legs closed at the same time doesn't mean I can't!" I screamed at her. Her face grew red with anger.

Jake accidentally let out a 'HAH!' Renee turned to glare at him.

"Out," she pointed out the door as if she was talking to a dog.

Jake smiled and turned to give me a wink. I stifled a giggle. "Nah, I rather like it here. I think I may stay for a while," He leaned back onto my bed casually.

Renee's lips were in a thin line. "Get out of my house now. Bella needs to pack. She leaves tomorrow." Whoa, I didn't know about this!

"No I'm not," I said simply.

"Yes you are." She pulled folded up paper from her back pocket and threw it at me. "There's your plane ticket. It's a one-way trip to JFK Airport. Your flight leaves at two o' clock tomorrow afternoon." Of course she would know what time I was leaving. That's when she is officially free of me.

I turned to Jake. He kept a straight face.

"You," she pointed to Jake, "out. And you," She pointed to me, "get your slutty ass up and start packing." Stupid of her to say.

I made an '0' shape with my mouth. Jake was about to say something, but I shot out first. "Oh, so_ I'm_ the slut. _I'm _the one that dresses like a hooker at ten thirty in the morning to go hang out with the guy I met at a bar who wants to fuck me this afternoon." She seemed to shrink to the size of a five year old. I kept launching the torpedoes anyway. "And _I'm _the one who hikes up my skirt to any guy under the age of twenty five? Oh, and did I tell you?" I widen my eyes in fake surprise. "_I'm _the one who wears shirts that don't cover half of my boobs. Oh yeah, I'm the slut mom." I gave a quick nod.

She stood there like a stunned mosquito.

"Oh," I said making the '0' with my lips again. "You didn't think I knew that did you? Aw, I'm sorry. But you better hurry along to Bob's Chop House so you're not late for your date with Jonathan. Or is it David today? Excuse my thoughtlessness." I said innocently.

She looked like a red-hot devil by the time I was finished.

"You are packing and leaving tomorrow. I don't care if he stays," she glared towards him. He was still holding his torso to keep from bursting out laughing. "Just get it done. And for God's sake put some clothes on."

I took in the silent moment to gather what she was wearing. She wore a super short black leather mini skirt, black Prada pumps (no stockings), and a white cashmere sweater that didn't cover much of her boobs. It was the middle of winter!

"Put some clothes on Mom!" I shouted back at her and smiled. She slammed the door shut and I heard the _click-clack _of her heals as she stomped down the stairs. Hah.

When she slammed the door, Jake couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing and rolled onto his stomach so that the comforter would stifle his hysterics. I threw a pillow at him. Hard. He stopped laughing and yelled, "hey!"

I got out of the bed and threw on my old sweats and a shirt that read: "Practice safe sex" on the front and "Go fuck yourself" on the back. I grabbed my huge army sack that Charlie gave me for traveling and camping. I furiously started throwing and shoving my things into the bag.

Jake grabbed my arm to stop my flailing arms. I acted on impulse and tried to pull my arm away and cover it. He held on tight and gave me a stern look. I put my arm back down.

"The sooner I pack up my shit the sooner we can leave," I explained. "I don't have to leave until tomorrow, but I'd rather stay at your place for the time being. I can't put up with Renee and Phil anymore." I continued to put things into my bag at a much more relaxed pace.

Jake walked into my closet and came back out with a large black suitcase. He stared at me waiting for instruction.

I pointed, "My iPod stereo, all those pictures of us in the frames on my desk, my laptop, the books on the second shelf, and Squishy." I ordered. Jake got to work. He got busy right away.

Squishy was my very light pink Moshi pillow. I've had it since I was ten. Charlie gave it to me for Christmas that year. I haven't slept one night without it since. It's worn and faded, but it still feels and smells the same as the days when we were actually happy.

After I finished packing the clothes that were on my bedroom floor, I walked into my closet and started pulling things off hangars. All my band t-shirts, my expensive Silver jeans, two pairs of shoes for each occasion (2 pairs of athletic shoes, sneakers, sandals, pumps, boots, flats, and slippers), then I moved onto my evening wear that was rarely seen on me.

By the time I was finished with the closet, my bag was ¾ of the way full. I would have to thank Charlie again sometime. I still have room to store snacks and drinks. I saw my special CD case left on my book shelf and threw it in my sack. Jake looked disgruntled.

Jake had already finished packing all my extra little things. At the top of the suitcase next to where I threw my CD case was a framed picture of me planting one on Jake's cheek. I laughed and Jake looked up from what I just tossed into the suitcase.

"I remember when Becky took that picture," I said picking it up. "Do you?" I asked, looking at him.

He nodded smiling. "How could I forget? It was Christmas." He continued on reminiscing while I scanned through the memory in my head.

I was sitting at our usual hangout behind the school gym. I didn't know that Jake had heard I'd gone missing and came looking for me. I was curled up into a ball in the cold when he found me. He took my hand and told me I could join him and his brother for Christmas. I was so happy that his brother was concerned for me and told me I was welcome. I remember crying I was so happy. Becky and Jason came over for Christmas dinner. After dinner we went for a walk and Becky decided to play photographer with her new digital Nikon camera. She told me to act on impulse. I did. I planted a big one on Jake's cheek. He didn't mind one bit. That's why he was smiling in the picture.

"That was probably the best Christmas of my life," I said matter-of-factly. I danced back to the bed and laid my head in Jakes lap while he leaned back on his elbows.

"I'm really going to miss you," I said quietly.

"Don't worry Iz, It shouldn't be long before we get the money and bust you out. At least I hope not. If you have any problems or need someone to talk to, call me. Okay?"

"Okay. Don't get mad if I end up calling you fifteen times a day."

He laughed. "Who else am I going to talk to? Becky and Jason are almost impossible to approach when they're in one of their lovey dovey moods, Sean, Jared, and Kyle are always out getting into deals that they shouldn't. I think I might light to talk to someone who can keep their head."

Hah. "And I suppose last night is what you call 'keeping your head', huh?" I scoffed. I began to twiddle my thumbs.

"Bella," I jumped when he said my name. "Nobody can blame you for what happened. Your parents were taking everything away from you in one blow. I can't say I know what that's like because I've always had Chris, and I may not be a rocket scientist, but I'm not in a coma either. It must really suck animal balls to have that happen. I'm pretty sure I would've done the same thing. And sometimes I do for no particular reason."

"It's probably going to get a lot worse with you gone…" I trailed off and closed my eyes.

Jake sat up and started petting my hair. "No Bella. We're not doing that again. Promise me you won't start again?" He said pleadingly.

I sighed. I won't lie to Jake. "I can't make that promise Jake, because I can't guarantee that I can keep it." I admitted truthfully.

His breath caught. I rolled over to see his face, but he only grabbed me and wrapped me with his long arms.

"Bella, no more. I thought we established this two years ago? When I helped you, you said no more. Promise me, Bella. Promise me you won't go back again. Promise me and keep it. You always keep your promises to me. Promise Bella." He said low and firmly.

I felt the tears well up and slide down my cheeks. Nobody ever cared for me like Jake did. He was my 6 '10 big brother. He was my sword and shield. He was my confidante, my best and most valued friend.

I squeezed my eyes shut and more tears fell. "I promise I will try my very best."

He shook his head. "Not good enough. Promise me you won't go back."

"I can't Jake!" I wailed pulling back. "If you hadn't come along, I wouldn't have bothered. When you're with me, I don't even have the temptation to. But when I'm stuck here in hell's mansion, I know this will sound melodramatic, but the temptation just gnaws at me. And then to save myself I think, _he will be here when it gets dark. He will come. _But you won't be coming at night for a while. I can only last so long Jake!"

Jake looked torn, but I couldn't lie to him. I might be able to lie like a pro to other people, but with Jake, it's impossible.

He took me in his arms again and I sobbed into his shoulder. He just held me and rocked me back a forth. He whispered, "Shh, Bella. Shh. It's going to be okay."

But how could I believe that? My parents are shifting me off to some boarding school with rich, judgemental kids all over the place. I was sick of being judged. I didn't need that kind of shit on top of what I already have.

I calmed down a little bit. My breath came short and quick, but having Jake hold me helped heaps.

He let me finish crying and then pushed me back to look at me. He looked sad. He wiped my tears away with his thumb and kissed my forehead. I saw from the reflection in his eyes that I looked like shit. My eyes were puffy and red. There were tear stains all down my cheek.

He stood up and threw my army sack over his shoulder. He threw Squishy at me (who I caught reflexively) and grabbed the suitcase handle. He walked over to the bed where I was sitting, hugging Squishy, and took my hand. He pulled me up and walked me out of my room. I took one last glance at it.

I remembered for a moment how many hours I've spent crying in that room. The room was my sanctuary and my personal nightmare. I was torn between being sad and relieved with leaving it all behind.

I shut the door gently and Jake led me down the stairs where we found Renee re-applying her lip-stick with a mirror that was in the foyer. I thought we could sneak by without engaging in World War III, but that was a vain hope.

"Where are you going?" She finished applying and turned to face us with a grimace.

I didn't feel like talking. So I just squeezed Jakes hand tighter and let him do the talking.

"I'm taking Bella with me. I don't think she can take much more of your bullshit. I think she should spend her last 24 hours with people who actually care about her. I'll take her to the airport tomorrow and make sure she gets on the plane. You won't have to deal with her now. Just say thanks and get it over with."

She couldn't do it to save her life. She always gets the last word with everyone but me. "Phil said he wanted to say goodbye. So stop by here tomorrow before you leave." She turned back toward the kitchen.

"I'm not coming back." I said firmly. "I'm never coming back here."

She twirled around on her heel and glared. "What are you talking about?" She snapped. "Don't be so melodramatic. You're being sent home for Easter and for spring break. Phil won't humiliate you," lie, "by making you stay there for spring break. He's strict but he's not cruel." Lie. Wow. They just kept coming.

I glared at her. "The only reason I would ever come back to this hell hole is to celebrate your death. That or just to put all your precious jewels that Phil bought you in a blender and watch you fall to your knees in tears begging me to stop." I smiled at her threateningly. "When I do come back, I'll be with my family. I'll be with Jake, Chris, Jared, Kyle, Jason, Becky, and Sean. You will be enjoying Christmas dinner with Phil and his family who absolutely loathes you. I'll be with people who love and care for me." Jake and I turned to walk out. "Go rot in hell!" I yelled back as we shut the front door.

I took in a breath of fresh noon air. We walked over to my black Chevy Colorado and loaded it with my stuff. We got in the car and drove off to the one place I felt at home. Jake held my hand the entire time.

We exited highway 75 on Legacy. We drove past the Avalon apartments and the Cinemark movie theater. We passed a huge park that was used for little league baseball. Most days we'd drive back at night and see them practicing. We passed another apartment complex and turned onto Springfield drive. Hoblitzel Park was on the left side of the street while the neighborhood rested silently on our left. We turned into his alley and pulled into his garage.

His house was in a very family oriented neighborhood. It was a five minute walk to the middle school. We got out and Jake carried my stuff in. He carried my things upstairs into the gameroom that was officially his room. There was a huge bed on the west side of the room. Next to the door was a long couch. On the east side of the room was a plasma screen TV. He threw my stuff in the corner near the bed. I stood with my arms folded across my chest and he plopped down on the bed.

"So what do we do now?" He asked the ceiling.

I thought about what I wanted to do with my last twenty-four hours of freedom.

"Let's bake monster cookies," I suggested.

He laughed. "What the hell are monster cookies?" He rested his hands behind his head carelessly.

I walked over and yanked him off the bed (which was very difficult to do when he is a six-foot-ten giant and all muscle) and pulled him towards the door.

"Stupid. They are cookies with just about everything in them." I stopped to turn around and face him in surprise. "You've never made monster cookies before?" I asked doubtedly.

"Nope," he popped the 'P'. "Chris and I haven't baked cookies since mom died." He said very matter-of-factly.

Before I could stop myself before my jaw dropped. I counted the years in my head. Twelve…now eighteen…(I'm really slow in math)

"You haven't had cookies in six years?" my voice going through several octaves. "Holy shit! Come on! You are going to love this," I pulled him down the stairs and into his kitchen.

He just stood in the doorway. Totally clueless.

"Jake! Don't just stand there and drool on the floor! Come help me." I went flying through the cabinets to see if he had what I needed.

"What all are in these 'monster cookies'?" Curiosity was just the beginning.

"Well," I said, thinking of the list of ingredients I memorized from when I was ten and lived with Charlie. "There is M&M's, oats, peanut butter, chocolate chips, butter, lots of brown sugar, you can even add almonds in if you like nuts." I had found half the ingredients.

"Wow. Those actually sound good." He pulled out the butter and brown sugar. I found a jar of JIF peanut butter, grabbed the eggs from the fridge, flower, granulated sugar, and all the stuff that makes America obese.

I laid out all the ingredients.

Jake looked a little overwhelmed.

"Okay. You take the dry ingredients while I mix the liquids." I ordered and started cracking the eggs in the mixing bowl.

"Aye aye, captain!" he saluted me and marched to his station. I threw a handful of flour at him for teasing me.

He grinned an evil grin. "You really shouldn't have done that," he warned.

He dived for the flour. "NO-" but it was too late. I had flour all over me. Completely covered in the white powder. I wiped it out of my eyes.

"This means war!" I gave out my war cry.

I started throwing the M&M's at him, but he just caught them with his mouth. Show off (I could never do that). I resulted with pouring the vanilla extract in his hair and he surrendered. Wise of him.

"Uncle! Uncle!" He could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard.

"Uncle isn't here," A familiar voice said. We whipped around and saw Chris with a broad smile in the doorway to the kitchen. We didn't hear him come in.

"Chris!" I shouted. "Oh my God I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make your kitchen a mess! Don't worry. I'll clean it all up when we're finished with the cookies." I assured him quickly. He laughed at me.

"Don't worry about it Bella. Jake will be doing most of the cleaning since he's the host," he gave Jake a warning glance.

"Of course-" Jake started.

"I will help clean it." I answered for him.

Chris walked over and gave me a surprise hug. I hugged him back and felt him shake with silent laughter.

"Oh Bella. I can't believe a girl raised up in a family like yours could end up so pure of heart. I sure will miss you around here." He pulled back. I smiled up at him.

He was a couple of inches taller than Jake. Instead of a buzz cut like Jake, his hair was slightly longer, but pin straight. He had deep blue eyes. Not like Jake's steel blue, more like a deep ocean blue. It was the most amazing color of eyes. He was dressed in on of his nice shoes from Brook Bros. and had left his leather brief case in the doorway.

"I'll miss you too. Without you to watch over me, I'm sure to get into a shit load of trouble."

"I don't doubt it," he smiled again. Did I mention he had a perfect smile? Well, he totally does. It makes you want to melt to the floor and feel very self concious.

"I guess we should get started on those cookies before dinner so we can actually have a place to sit down and eat." I turned back to the huge mess that we made and started actually mixing the ingredients.

"Do you mind if I help?" Chris asked.

I laughed. "Of course. Jake is so clueless. He's going to need all the help he can get," Jake was picking up random ingredients, looking at the labels to make sure he had the right thing. Poor deprived kid.

"I've already measured out everything. He just needs to mix it."

We continued blissfully into our afternoon baking the monster cookies. After we cleaned up the war zone and the cookies were done, we had two sheets full of cookie.

"Wow," Jake and Chris said at the same time. "Those look amazing."

"Jake," I started. "If you hadn't saved me two years ago, these cookies would have. They are heaven in the form of food." I cut out two square pieces for them to try. They shoved the whole slice in their mouth.

They swooned. "Oh. My. God. You better leave the recipe with us or else I will have to break into whatever bogus school you're going to and strangle the recipe out of you." Chris said.

"That won't be necessary," I giggled. I grabbed a note card from over where the phone was and jotted down the recipe. On the back I wrote down the instructions. I taped it to the side of the fridge so they wouldn't forget it…or me.

That night we ordered out Chinese food. The authentic kind you get from all the way out in Richardson. We had pork buns, dumplings, and my personal favorite, Chinese pancakes. It was basically fried dough with chives, but they were second best to the cookies.

Jake and I settled down in his room around midnight after watching movies with Chris and after he'd gone to bed. I was curled up into Jake's side while we watched True Blood. It was a total vampire cliché, but Sookie and Bill were totally irresistible together. Sookie was a human girl who could read the thoughts of people around her. Bill was an old vampire who was in love with Sookie. But Sookie's brother Jackson was getting addicting to "V" (a.k.a vampire blood mixed in with aspirin). It was really good.

"I guess you should probably go to bed. We should probably start heading towards the airport around noon. We need time to check you and sign in your luggage."

I sighed. "I don't exactly have much. I just have my bag of clothes and my suitcase of pictures. Did I ever mention that I really don't want to go?" I asked.

"Actually, yes. About twenty times in the pass hour." He smiled down at me.

"Why can't I just stay here with you? Chris wouldn't seem to mind. What he would pay me to bake those cookies again."

He thought about it for a moment. Then he frowned. "Yeah. I thought about that. But then again, I would kind of prefer I wasn't on Phil's hitlist. I bet he has a hit-man on speed-dial." Huh. I never really thought about that. Very valid point.

Phil did have a lot of people he hated. Some nights I can't stand being in the same house because all he can talk about is how he's going to kill one of his team mates who he claims can't throw a baseball. Renee keeps trying to convince him that meditation classes could be beneficial to his health. He said no to that. And when she mentioned anger management, it became a 'HELL NO'.

Not what we were talking about. But as I begin to wonder about Phil's nine secret agendas, I drifted into sleep in Jakes arms.

I woke up and found Jake sleeping next to me. I looked at the clock next to the TV and found out it was ten thirty.

I shook Jake. "Dude. Wake up. It's ten thirty and I want to get Jamba Juice at least twice before I leave." I got up and turned to make sure he was getting up. He just grumbled something unintelligible and waved his hand up in the air with his face in the pillow.

"Get up you lazy ass. I'm going to take a shower and you better be up and dressed by the time I'm out." I through a pair of jeans and a t-shirt at him and he moaned.

The warm water felt nice. I hadn't taken one in a while. So it felt refreshing. After I cleaned up and got dressed, I walked downstairs and found Jake with a box.

I raised my eyebrows. "What is this?" I asked cautiously.

He pushed the box across the breakfast table towards me. "Something I need you to have. I need you to keep it with you at all times."

I curiously opened the white box and found a new cell phone. It was a 3g iPhone. Those things cost over a hundred dollars.

"What the fuck-" I started, but Jake interrupted.

"I better hear from you at least twice a day. If I don't, there will be hell to pay. I will be calling now and then. I also don't want you using a phone your mom paid for. It really just rubs me the wrong way." He grimaced.

I turned on the phone and found it was already stocked with my phone book. I glanced at the countertop and found my old cell phone. I eyed Jake. He held up his hands innocently.

"I just wanted to make sure you had everything. Your music and shit is all on there. Now there should be no problem with communicating with me." Sometimes (actually always), Jake is the most considerate, sweetest person I know.

"Okay. What's the catch?" There always was one when he bought me something out of the norm.

His jaw tightened ever so slightly. He was totally busted. "You have to tell me how you are doing. Every day. I don't want you to get too upset or angry. I don't want your old self to resurface." GOD . The lengths he goes through to make sure it never happens again. Jesus. He was more sensitive about it than I was.

I glared at him. He glared back. I totally suck at stare downs. "Fine. I'll call and tell you. But otherwise," I shook my head. "No promises. I refuse to lie to you Jake. I'm not going to make you a promise I'm not a hundred percent sure I can keep."

His face was grim, but he lightened it up again. "Well I suppose that you would like to get some Jamba Juice for breakfast and lunch before you leave for the Big Apple?" He raised his eyebrows.

"You suppose correctly. And it's not in the Big Apple. The school itself is actually about a two hour drive from there in Ithaca." The carribean passion was my weakness. Long live Jamba Juice!

Jake kept good to his promise and bought me Jamba Juice for breakfast and lunch. Then I had to board my flight and I started the crying jag again.

He hugged me close to him. I cried into his black cotton t-shirt.

"Call me when you get there. Then call me again when you get to Ithaca. Don't forget your promise to me, okay? Keep in touch."

He was always concerned for my well being. "I won't forget," I said wiping my tears. The lady over the intercom said my flight was leaving. Just as she said that, my pocket started buzzing.

I quickly pulled it out and immediately turned it off.

"Oh, that's right. Your mom wanted you to stop by before you left," he scoffed.

I don't give a flying fuck about what they want. "Whatever." I hugged him tightly one last time. "I miss you already." I whispered.

"We'll be there as soon as we can. I'll call you." With that, we said goodbye.

I boarded the plane with the first class passengers. I sat down in my leather seat and gazed out the window. Thinking there was nothing ahead of me but impending doom.

* * *

**This chapter has been a bitch to finish. But i'm quite proud of it. Just in case you didn't catch it, Bella is on her way to Ithaca, where a boarding school filled with preppy judgemental rich kids. I am looking forward to writting the next chapter, where she meets a whole new set of characters. She experiences new ways of thinking and old thoughts resurface. Her nightmarish past comes back to haunt her as she fights her way through this hellish time people call high school.**

**PLEASE, i can't stress it enough, _PLEASE_ review. I need to know how my style developing story is coming together. Yay? Boo? Tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't sleep on the plane. I was too scared that I would have that nightmare again and wake up screaming. But when you have a habit of screaming every morning you wake up, it's something to be a little concerned about. Sadly, I didn't dream about the oh so enthusiastic Charlie the Unicorn and Candy Mountain like most kids my age. Mine were slightly more traumatic and tended to cause mild paranoia. My dreams made Ugly Betty look beautiful.

To keep myself awake for the three and a half hour plane ride to New York, I kept ordering sodas. The flight attendants probably thought I was a caffeine addict by the way I ordered another Coke every five to ten minutes. After this plane ride, that could become entirely possible.

I watched the movies being shown. They had put on the movie, "The Other Boleyn Girl" with Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johansen. The book was a thousand times better in the movie. Mary had a daughter before she gave birth to Henry for one, and Anne did not force the king to ignore Mary and her baby. That was totally fabricated. And she didn't know William Stafford in the beginning. She met him while he escorted her to see her children in one of the estates during the summer. They actually hit it off on their trip to France. She didn't just run to him when she realized that Anne was going to get herself killed by making the king obey her every whim. And that whole rape thing? What the hell was that? Shortly before their wedding, she voluntarily went to his bed. The movie was just a shit load of events that never happened.

After I realized the movie was total bullshit I resorted to my iPod for entertainment. I mouthed the lyrics as I listened to my favorite artists: Flyleaf, Breaking Benjamin, Anberlin, All Time Low, and Coldplay, just to name a few. I repeatedly listened to Coldplay's Viva La Vida. It was based on the French Revolution, but I applied it to my life. Life was okay, and then Renee married Phil. From there, my world seemed to fall more apart at every turn. My friends and support were taken away from me, and I'm completely alone. I need someone to be there for me, but everyone is spread out. I realized a long time ago that I was surrounded by lies and deceit. But my life has only gone through the first verse and chorus. Maybe something amazing will open up to me and allow me to listen to the rest of the song.

I was listening to Breaking Benjamin when I heard the pilot's voice come over the intercom.

"Ladies and gentleman pardon the interruption. We will be arriving at the gate at JFK Airport in about fifteen minutes. It's a chilly 34 degrees outside and there is about two inches of snow on the ground. Please remain seated for the remainder of the flight and keep your seatbelts buckled. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed your flight on American Airlines." The intercom made a _click_ and turned off. I groaned at the freezing temperature. Oh well. I have a pee coat. And if that's not enough, the colder I am the less I feel. If this weather continues I might be able to keep that promise to Jake after all.

The fifteen minutes of waiting to arrive at the gate was restless. I had to put on Breaking Benjamin in order to calm myself down. I am not familiar with the New York territory, I have no idea how I'm going to get from here to Ithaca, and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it. Boarding school is going to be overwhelmingly fun!

We finally connected with the gate twenty minutes later. First class was the first to get off, so I was also one of the first to the baggage claim. My luggage wasn't exactly hard to pick out from the swarm of other bags. As the first class luggage began to pour out over the conveyor belt, all I saw were Louis Vuiton suitcases and duffle bags, Gucci, I saw some Vera Bradley, (but what's really sad is that I can tell the difference between these designers. SHIT! Renee _did_ rub off from me.) I saw some quality leather bags. Then came my bag. A grungy old army sack that's meant more for camping then anything else. My black medium sized suitcase, thankfully, looked relatively normal. It didn't exactly feel good have people watch as you picked up your shitty luggage.

I began to walk out towards the exit when I saw a guy in a black suit with matching black hat hold up a dry-erase board with "Isabella Swan" written on it. Fabulous. I ducked my head down and accosted the man-in-black.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" The idiot asked when I just stood in front of him.

I glared sarcastically at him. "Nooo, I'm just standing here so I can ask you for your number so we could hang out some- DUH you frickin dill weed. Are you taking me to the academy?" I snapped. He nodded stiffly in response. "Okay then." He still stood there like a statue. "You found me stupid. You can put down the sign and escort me to the car. And I wouldn't mind some help carrying my baggage." I snipped. Wow. If this guy is as dumb as he seems, I can't wait to see how he is behind the wheel. The possibilities were horrifying.

"Oh, uh-uh-of course," he stammered like an idiot. This guy really was as dumb as he looked. He picked up my black suitcase while I hauled my sack and guided me outside into the freezing cold. Thank God the limo wasn't far from the exit or else I would've gotten hypothermia on the way. I was trembling from the cold all over. My teeth chattered uncontrollably and I pulled down my sleeves over my hands. I hoped that the car would at least be warmer than the temperature outside. I sat down in the car and I crossed my arms over my stomach to see if it would help warm me up at all. I couldn't feel any heat circulating in the car whatsoever.

Man-in-black finished putting my luggage in the trunk and got in the car. "Dude, is it against your religion to use the heater or what? It's a fucking ice-cube in here!" I bitched.

He fumbled with the controls for a moment. "I-I'm so sorry Miss Swan." Jeez. This guy needed to get a grip or else we wouldn't even make it out of the airport. Thankfully we managed to pull out of the passenger-pick-up zone without catastrophe. This guy was so skittish. He acted like his boss was hovering over him while he was driving. He seriously reminded me of a deer on the run.

I remembered my promise to Jake and pulled out my bad ass 3G iPhone. I turned it on and saw three messages waiting to be heard. They were all from Jake.

I punched in Jakes cell and hit send. He answered on the first ring.

"Iz?" He sounded panicked. Maybe Man-in-black isn't skittish compared to Jake.

"Yeah. It's me. I landed like fifteen minutes ago and I'm on my way to Ithaca with a driver that is totally squicking me out. So if you don't get a call from me in a couple of hours that probably means I died in a car crash." The panicked little driver looked back at me and…I swear to God he put on his most serious face and gripped the steering wheel tighter. He just needed someone to give him a little boost. Apparently he can't afford to disappoint anybody.

"Dude! Don't joke about that! Especially if the driver is jumpier than a rabbit. So did Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle- Dumber arrange a ride for you?"

"Kinda. I'm just not looking forward to the two-hour car ride there. Now _when_ I get there is totally different. I will probably have a complete mental breakdown, but I don't know how I'm going to entertain myself for two hours. To add to that problem, you know how I am with nervous drivers." Normally I'll either be stunned with fear, or I will puke my guts up. Either way, it's not pretty.

"Hmm. Do you have Squishy?" He asked worriedly.

I squeezed Squishy closer to me (I hadn't really let go of him since I got on the plane). "Yes. Squishy has been keeping me calm so far. Hopefully his magic can keep up for another couple of hours. Three hours on a plane with a girl hyped up on caffeine must have been tuff on him."

He laughed. "Yeah. That's bound to drain his battery. You could probably sleep for a couple of hours. That should take up most of your time, if not all of it. You need to rest. My guess is that you're probably going to crash within half an hour and you are probably not stocked up on soda. So just try and get some sleep." He sounded more relaxed now that I've talked to him.

But there was something in the back of my mind that told me I shouldn't sleep. "I don't know about that Jake," my voice was just a whisper. "Remember at Renee's house? I totally woke up screaming. I don't want to fall asleep and have it come back."

He had to think about that one. I could totally see his face scrunching up into thinking-mode. "You can't avoid sleep forever. It's best just to get it over with. It won't be any different from when or if you wake up screaming and your roommate beginning to think you're a totally freak. Which you are," he added teasingly.

"Gee, thanks for reminding me, ass hole. I guess it would take up most of my time. Okay, I'll try." Sometimes, Jake made very valid points.

"Good girl!" He sounded like he was praising his pet dog. "Don't forget to call me when you wake up or when you get there, okay?"

"Sure. Whatever. Where's Becky and everybody?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Oh, they're around. I think they went downtown for a street race. Sean, Jared, and Kyle most likely followed them to make some deals to get you out of there. They are determined. I just hope they are making legal money or else it might come back to haunt us in the near future. So I guess I better get down there and make sure they are sticking to the plan-" He caught himself.

This was new. "What plan?" I asked cautiously. They made a plan? Getting money downtown is either a) hard to get or b) illegal. They must be doing some shitty stuff if they are getting money legally.

"Nothing you need to worry about Iz," he said hurriedly. "Listen, I have to go check up on them, so just get some sleep and call me after okay?" Coward was trying to avoid my suspicions! Now this is getting weird. Whatever. I'll get him for it later.

"O-kay," I said unconvincingly. My eyes narrowed. "You have to tell me if anything happens okay? Don't leave me out. Promise?" I was set on figuring this one out.

"Yeah. I promise. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" and he hung up.

Weirdest conversation ever.

I clutched Squishy and leaned my head up against the window. I totally ignored the nasty glares I was getting from Man-in-black and closed my eyes to get some Z's.

I woke up to the sound of Man-in-black trying to get my attention. He was yelling at me to get up. Jeez. This guy is SOOOO not getting a good tip.

"We are here! I can't get in unless you tell them whom you are. The security is set on not letting me in. So unless you want to haul your own luggage, I suggest you tell them to let us in!" Wow. He was pissed. But he was not going to be all Mr. Pissy with me. I don't play that game.

"Quit bitching okay?" I snapped at him. "I'll do it. And don't scream at me. Is this how you treat all your passengers?" I asked. Then I put on a threatening smile. "I'm going to fucking report you if you don't shut the hell up. So I suggest you don't yell at me or give me those nasty glares _ever _again. Comprende?" I grinned menacingly. He looked like he was about to shit his pants.

I rolled down the window and found a huge guy in a black suit. Was that Armani? What are they paying these guys? He was maybe a little shorter than Jake. He kind of reminded me of Ruben Studdard. You know? That American Idol singer? (I totally voted for Clay Aiken. He may be gay, but he can sing!) Anyway, he just stood there with his chubby hands folded in front of him.

"Hey there," I greeted. He just stared at me expressionless. "Okay, listen. My name is Isabella Swan? I'm a transfer student and I kind of need to get in." I explained to him. He turned back to the little hut behind him. I took this opportunity to look out the windows. There was a huge black gate in front of the car. There was a huge mocking bird made of rod iron in the gate. My best guess is that would be the school's insignia.

Big dude came back. His voice was strangely high pitched for a man his size. "You are free to go in Miss," He looked down at the small piece of paper he was holding. "Dwyer," I cringed at the mention of my stepfather's name. "Welcome to Hockaday Boarding School." It didn't seem very welcoming to me.

"Thank you," I said anyway. The gate parted and I watched as the bird was split in two. There were only trees on both sides of the road. I didn't even begin to see the school until we were a quarter mile up the road. The school looked intimidating.

The palace like structure looked black against the midnight blue sky. There were several buildings from what I could see. One stood out from the rest. It was twice as large as the other buildings. The building looked to be about three stories high and had a traditional flat roof. The other buildings looked more medieval. The buildings were made solidly of old brick. I saw that there were more buildings behind the ones that stood out. They were taller, and not as prominent, so they were probably dorms. I was probably looking at all the buildings that held classes. They were kind of hard to miss because they were so massive.

Streetlights showed up on both sides of the rode as we neared the school. The school grew more massive as we grew closer. I saw a couple of small figures outside the huge office-looking building.

Man-in-black pulled up in front of the building and I saw a couple of administrators waiting for me.

I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car when Man-in-black opened it for me.

"Welcome to Hockaday Boarding School Miss Dwyer!"-Cringe- they all greeted me. The lighting on the street allowed me to see their faces. There were two women and two men. The woman on the far end of the greeting line looked young. She couldn't have been more than twenty-five. She was wearing black pumps, black stockings, black pencil skirt, and a heavy black P coat. She was pretty. Her blonde hair was in a nice up-do. A couple of ringlets managed to escape the small bun. She had very pale skin (they probably didn't get much sun here) and had blood red lipstick on that she managed to pull off beautifully. She was the first to greet me.

She accosted me with grace. "Hello Miss Dwyer,"-cringe- "My name is Miss Kelly. I am the room coordinator. I'm also your dorm advisor." She shook my hand firmly and professionally.

"Hi. I prefer Bella. Or if you insist on last names, I prefer Swan." They would think I'm a freak if they saw how I cringed every time they said my name.

"Of course, Bella," She stepped away and the next woman in the brigade approached me. She was much older, but she still had signs of youth. She wore more sensible shoes with a smaller heel (still black). Instead of a skirt, she had on a pair of white pants that were the color of shiny pearls. Her coat was made of white wool and she had the collar all the way up. Laugh lines were prominent around her mouth that was the color of a red rose. Her hair was a medium shade of brown. She looked very kind.

"Hello, Bella. My name is Mrs. Hartman. I am the Headmaster here at Hockaday. I welcome you and hope you enjoy your high school experience here." She gave me a welcoming smile. I couldn't help but smile back. She had a strange charisma thing going on.

One of the other men approached Mrs. Hartman.

"Should we take this inside? It is a chilly night and I'm sure Bella would enjoy some warmth and a hot beverage."

Miss Kelly laughed. "Oh, excuse me. Of course! Let's take her inside. Felix," she snapped her fingers and a man who looked like a bellhop with a deep red uniform on appeared at her side. "Could you please take Miss Swan's things to her room?" She asked him kindly. He gave a stiff nod and took my things from Man-in-black. "You may leave now," she hinted Man-in-black. He gave an awkward bow and got back in his car and drove off. I only then realized that I was still holding Squishy.

"Excuse me," I tried to get Bellhop's attention. He stopped and turned around. I walked toward him. "Could you also take Squishy to my room? Please be careful. He's very special to me." He shifted my big sack to his other shoulder and I gave him Squishy.

Mrs. Hartman had her eyebrows raised and I blushed involuntarily. She gestured toward the administration building and I walked ahead.

The inside looked almost normal. Dark wood floors, dim lighting, a desk that lay past the waiting area, then one hall on either side of the room. Down the halls I could see several doors that probably led to offices. I could catch a glimpse of a staircase and I looked up to find an enormous loft that was probably similar to a cafeteria. The room had high ceilings and felt cozy. Miss Kelly and Mrs. Hartman walked past me and sat down at the couches in the waiting area. I came out of my state of awe and joined them.

"So, Bella," Mrs. Hartman began. "What brings you to Hockaday?" she asked cheerfully.

I grimaced. Her smile faltered. "My parents." I said simply. She tried to put the smile back on, but it looked strained and contorted. It looked wrong.

Miss Kelly saved her. "So, first off, I'd like to know what you're interested in so we can start on your schedule. Do you like art? Music? Sports? Tell me what you do for fun." She clasped her hands together and gracefully set them in her lap. I heard Mrs. Hartman release a sigh of relief. Was I really that intimidating?

I had to think about her question. "Well, I don't really do much. I like motor bikes, but I doubt you have a class on that," both women smiled. "I think I'd like to take a look at your course guide. Just to get a general idea of what Hockaday has to offer to a girl like me." This time I got the men laughing. I stared curiously at them.

Mrs. Hartman noticed my stares. "This," she gestured toward the short bald man in the expensive black Armani, "is our most recommended counselor, Mr. Breeding. If you are ever having any emotional problems or self conflicts, this is the man you would want to speak to." Mr. Breeding just nodded once, but didn't say anything. Maybe that's why he is highly recommended. He is a better listener than a talker.

Then she pointed to the younger looking man in a charcoal Gucci. "And this is our dean of students. I hope you don't have to see him very often. He deals with student misbehavior." He grinned.

"Don't make me sound so evil," he told Mrs. Hartman. "I also don't mind when students come in just for a visit. There's always candy in the office." Okay, this guy may be young, but just from that statement alone, I will make sure I never have to see him.

I just put on the best fake smile I could.

"Eheh," was all I could manage.

"So. Back to the course guide," Miss. Kelly interrupted. She snapped her fingers and some bald, fat guy in a cheap suit with circle glasses rushed to her side and gave her a large book. It wasn't thick. Just big. And what the hell was with all the snapping? Was this some rap video I didn't know about? (It's New York after all) She leaned toward me to hand me the book and I took it. On the front of it was the name of the school in an elegant script. Under it was a mocking bird. "Just look over it tonight and get back to me in the morning. School starts on Wednesday. Most of the students are out on winter break at the moment, but they should start returning tomorrow." She smiled at me.

I looked at the huge Roman numeral clock on the wall. "So," I piped up. "Where will I be staying? It's been an unusually long day for me and I'm feeling a little tired." Actually, these people were starting to freak me out with all the smiles and snapping and I had to make a phone call.

"How rude of us!" Miss Kelly exclaimed. " You must be exhausted. I'll escort you to your dorm." She rose and the rest of them followed. "Do you have a coat?" She went over my wardrobe.

"No. I'll be fine. It's just a little bit of snow." I'm from Texas! Why would I have a winter coat?

"All righty then," she slipped on her coat. "Let me show you your new home." I said goodbye to the rest of the administrators and followed her out.

It was a long walk. I never could understand how some women can walk this far in three-inch heels. They must be killing her. She pointed out all the class buildings. When we passed the school buildings, she pointed out the barn.

"You have horses here?" I asked.

She smiled. "Yes. It's one of our electives. There are a lot of old fashioned students who love equestrian studies. It's no motorcycle, but it's probably as close as you're going to get." She laughed.

I just continued to stare at the barn. In the entrance was a tall figure. I couldn't see his face because he was facing towards the inside. He walked inside and I caught a glimpse of him. He had bronze colored hair, and very pale skin. Probably as pale as mine. His face was perfect. Almost beautiful. He was wearing a black wool coat, tan riding pants, and black knee-high boots over them. He looked like a professional rider that you'd see at the Olympics.

I heard Miss. Kelly laugh. "Some students grow very attached to the stables. The barn is always open because most students like to relieve stress at the end of the day. When I asked one of them why, they said it's very therapeutic to just brush a horse in the quiet. I don't very much like the quiet, so I highly doubt it would work for me."

I drew my gaze away from the barn and we walked towards the tall buildings that I correctly guessed were the dorms.

We walked into the first of the two tall buildings. "This is the girls dorm," Ms. Kelly informed me. "The boys dorm is just a little ways down from here." She continued to explain the rules of the dorms while I gazed in awe.

The common room was the first we came to. The fireplace was lit; old-fashioned furniture decorated the room. The walls were painted an off shade of white. It looked like a cream color. The flooring was a dark cherry wood. There were windows on the east and west sides of the room. The drapery was custom. This room was well worth over a million dollars. But something drew my attention from everything else.

I immediately recognized the painting over the mantel. It was Edgar Degas' "The Dance Class." I had owned an original copy back at Renee's. He was my favorite artist. He was a famous French impressionist who was a master at drawing the human figure. He appreciated movement. All his paintings were either of horse races or ballerinas. I was never one for dancing (I trip over my own feet), but I loved how Degas paintings expressed movement even though everything in the picture was still. You can almost see the dancers begin to move. Maybe I'm just a sucker for good art, but I am sincerely glad Jake packed my Degas collection book in my suitcase.

Miss Kelly led me to an elevator behind the fireplace wall.

"Your room is on the second floor. Your parents rented you the suite we like to call 'The Dancer' suite." At the mention of my so-called 'parents', I stiffened up.

"I'm sure you'll figure out why we call it that when we get there. It's one of the most wanted rooms among students. But your parents were very generous and paid so you could enjoy it."

The elevator opened and she led me down a long hall. She stopped in front of the door that was plated, "The Dancer." She smiled. She unlocked the door and opened it slowly. My jaw dropped before I could regain control of myself.

The room was beautiful. It was a work of art. Literally. The ceiling seemed to reach of towards the sky. And when I looked up, it did. Clouds were painted on the ceiling. The sky was such a real blue. A beautiful chandelier hung from the very center. I forced myself to look down to eye level. The walls were a light shad of green. My best guess says it's a sage green. Degas paintings decorated the walls. My hand went to my mouth to stifle my gasp. The furniture was cream-colored French provincial. The bedspread was a pure shade of white. The floor went from dark cherry wood to a light maple.

I turned back to Miss Kelly. "Are you serious?" I whispered.

She had a broad smile. "Yes. This room is all yours. The closet is over there. I'm sure you will find it to your liking. Everything in this room was transported here from France. The desk is well over a hundred years old, and the shelves are made from maple trees found in Wisconsin. Is this suitable?" She asked concernedly.

I gaped. "Of course! It's just," I searched for the right words. "It's hard to believe that a girl like me could end up with such an extravagant abode." I said honestly.

She nodded understandingly. I turned back to the room. I finally have a true sanctuary. I moved over to my bags and started out with the black suitcase. I heard Miss Kelly move over to sit on the bed. I ignored her and continued to unpack. I unzipped and the first thing I took out was the picture of Jake and I. I moved over to the bedside table and put the picture next to the bed.

"Is that your boyfriend?" She asked in a girly fashion. Can you say NOSY?

"No," I said curtly. "He's like my brother in many ways. But he's also my best friend." Which reminded me that I needed to call him or else I would receive hell.

"I spoke with your parents." She stated bluntly. I was stopped cold. "I'm sorry." She said quietly. "When they asked us to give you this room, I asked them why." She paused, but I kept my gaze on the floor and my back to her. "They said they didn't want you calling them complaining about your living conditions."

I curled my hands into fists. "I think you should go now," I said in a low voice. She got up and headed toward the door. Just as she walked out I added, "It would be wise of you if you didn't bring up my parents ever again." There was an unintended threat in my voice. The door closed.

I dug in my messenger bag for my phone. I picked up and punched in Jakes number for the second time today.

It went straight to voicemail.

"Hey Jake, it's me. I just got here. My room is amazing, but I hate my parents for it. They are trying to buy me up again, but I just can't turn down a room filled with Degas," I admitted sheepishly. "So just call me later. I guess your not answering because we are in different time zones and you are probably passed out right now. Just call me whenever. Bye." I threw the phone down on my bed.

I leaned over to grab the course guidebook. I leaned back onto the fluffy pillows and began to flip through the pages.

I circled all my core subjects. Pre-Calc, physical science, English literature, and world studies. I had a hard time with the electives. I thought I might find something worth interest. When I looked at music, I realized that I didn't want to perform my kind of music in front of a class. So that was out. Ever since the shrink my parents hired told me to express my feelings in art, it became a habit of mine to sketch all the time. I saw an advanced art class and put a circle around it. It was mandatory that I took physical education, so I had to choose what PE class I wanted to take. There was basic strength training, shape up, ball sports, track and field, but these were all too easy or ordinary. I saw that fencing was an option. Maybe my street fighting days could come in handy. I put a circle around it. I needed one more elective.

I remembered what I had seen and heard earlier. Miss Kelly's words echoed through my thoughts. _"…They said it was therapeutic…it's as close as you'll get" _But what I remembered most clearly was the image of the boy. I went ahead and circled "Equestrian Studies".

I sighed and threw the book off the bed. I looked at my phone. 10 o' clock, no messages. I got up and decided to unpack.

I moved my black suitcase over near the bookshelves. I started unpacking all my pictures and placing them on the shelves. I put my iPod stereo on the bedside table next to Jake's picture. I purposely worked around the blue, hardcover CD case. I loaded up the shelves with my CD's and books. I was a sucker for the classics. When there was nothing left in the suitcase but the CD case, I started organizing my CD's. I placed my classical music on one side and my rock music on the other. I turned back to the suitcase. I surrendered and picked up the CD case. I tossed it into my messenger bag that would probably go with me everywhere.

I walked into the bathroom and found a whirlpool tub and a shower with four showerheads. It looked like a rainforest shower. The mirror had a large frame that dominated most of the west wall of the bathroom. I was half surprised to find a butt washer next to the toilet. I walked over to the sink and dropped my black toiletry case on the counter. I put my strawberry shampoo and conditioner in the shower with my warm vanilla sugar body wash. I stared at myself in the mirror.

The girl I saw looked tired. She had bruises and bags under her eyes, her hair looked like a mess, her skin was too pale, her lips had my favorite shade of blood red lipstick. She looked sad. I could see a little of the tear trains from her recent cries. Her eyes looked sad. Her mouth was turned into a frown. It took me a minute to accept that the girl in the mirror was me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. She was still there. I sighed and began to brush my teeth. I changed into my pajamas and jumped into bed, completely exhausted. It took all of five seconds for me to succumb to sleep.

When I woke up, I was still in the beautiful room surrounded by my favorite paintings. I looked at the clock on my nightstand. I had a real habit of waking up at ten thirty. I jumped out of bed and opened up the door to my huge walk-in closet. I picked out a pair of my favorite Silver skinny jeans; I put on my American Living knee-high leather boots over them, and slipped on my favorite midnight-blue sweater.

I scooped up the guidebook and slipped it into my tan messenger bag to go speak with Miss Kelly.

I remembered my way to the administrative office even though it was dark out when I got here last night. I walked in and went to the front desk.

"Hey," I got the guy's attention. "I'm looking for Miss Kelly. Could you tell me where I could find her? I need to get my schedule straightened out." He pointed down the hall.

"Fallow the hallway to your left. Her office is the 5th door down on the left side."

I nodded. "Thanks." I followed his directions and came to a door that said, "Miss Kelly" on the door in black letters. I knocked.

"Come in!" her pixie voice chimed. I opened the door and found her sitting at her desk looking at a computer screen.

"Hello Bella!" Okay, cheeriness is getting on my nerves.

I gave a short wave. "Hello. Um, I looked over all the courses and picked out the ones I'd like to take." I handed her the guidebook. She reached over her desk and took it from me.

"Please, sit down." She invited. I sat down in one of the two comfortable chairs. Her office was small. The walls were painted a neutral shade of green. White, large crown molding bordered the room. She had a money tree in the two corners with the large windows in-between. They allowed what little light New York had to offer into the room.

"You were in advanced placement in Texas?" I nodded. "You have very intriguing tastes in electives. Fencing, I see you took my advice about Equestrian studies," she looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back sheepishly. "And advanced art. That class you have to try out for. Do you have any pieces of art I can show Mr. Magnuson? He only takes in serious students. He is very selective in his pupils." She looked over her rectangular glasses that she was wearing today.

I had a picture, but I didn't really want to show it. "Um, I do. But," She raised her eyebrows. "I'm not very comfortable showing it to people." I looked down at my hands and felt my cheeks get hot. It was my first picture I drew when I saw the shrink. The memories were fresh, and so the sketch was vivid. And I hated it. But I still kept it as a reminder.

She sighed. "I could arrange it so it's private. You could show it to Mr. Magnuson in private and keep it that way. I can make it so only he can see the picture. Would that be alright?" She asked. I just nodded and didn't look up. "Okay then. I can take you to meet your teachers and show you where your classes are today. Does that sound like a good plan?" I looked up for the first time and nodded.

"That would be great. It would be a little embarrassing if I stumbled around campus looking for my classes on Wednesday." That made her laugh.

She got up and grabbed her coat. "I guess we should get started then." She led me out the door and accompanied me to my classes.

She pointed out all the rooms. I only ran into my English teacher and my pre-calculus teacher. Then she led me to the fine arts wing.

"I must warn you that Mr. Magnuson is very eccentric and erratic. He is a fun teacher, don't get me wrong, but he doesn't tolerate ignorance." She warned me. She opened the door and I was amazed.

Easels and desks were everywhere. They were all facing towards the front of the room where there was a counter. In the back was a chalkboard. The floor was linoleum, and the stools were all made of wood.

A tall man with a flannel shirt and paint-stained jeans with Timberland hiking boots on came out of an office further down in the room. He was wearing an apron and his hands were also stained with paint. His hair was dark, he was growing a goatee, and he had a sharp jaw line. He turned and saw us standing there.

"May I help you?" His deep voice carried across the room in a friendly tone.

Miss Kelly answered for me. "This is Bella Swan. She is a transfer student from Texas. She says she would like to take your advance sketching class." She explained.

Mr. Magnuson raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He looked at me and I nodded. "Do you have any art experience?"

I closed my eyes and explained. "I never took any classes if that's what your asking. I developed my skills on my own. I've been sketching for four years now."

His voice boomed again. "Do you have anything I can take a look at? I only take serious students in my advanced class." He warned.

I nodded my head to Miss Kelly and she excused herself. She walked out and shut the door behind her. Though she was probably waiting just outside.

"I don't really want anyone to see this. But this is the only drawing I brought with me. I would also really appreciate it if you kept this to yourself and didn't tell anyone about it." I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He put his dirty hands on his hips.

"This drawing is either really good, or really good and really personal."

"Guess number two," I told him.

"Then I promise to keep it a secret. I won't tell anyone. Now show me this lovely drawing of yours." He walked toward me and I dug into my messenger bag. I found the long rolled up tube and pulled it out. I unrolled it, looked at it for a moment and sighed. I forced myself to hand it over to him.

His eyes narrowed when he looked at the picture. He looked over it for a minute. I just stood there, wanting to curl up into a ball and hide myself.

He finally broke the silence. "This is an interesting piece of art," he began. "it's vivid with emotion and chaos. What inspired you to draw this? This is something I've never seen in a student. You have extroidinary talent Bella," he looked up from my painting and waited for an answer to his question. I sighed in defeat.

I pulled up a stool and sat down. I folded my hands in my lap. "That was my first drawing I ever made." I forced myself to look up. He was waiting for the rest. "I drew that picture the day my shrink told me to express my emotions in drawing instead of with…" I stopped there. Nobody needed to know that.

"You have more secrets." It was a statement. Not a question. "You are welcome into my advanced art class. You have a natural talent. I haven't seen something so real in a very long time. And I know that teaching yourself art takes time. Most of my students have taken classes for years. I don't mind, but I also taught myself how to draw when I was in the army." I looked up at him, interested. "I hope to see more of your work." He rolled up my drawing and gave it back to me. I put it in my bag and stood. He reached his hand out. I shook it and stared at him in the eyes. His dark brown eyes pierced my chocolate ones. I looked down, fearing that he could see through me. He may look crazy, but he is wise.

I walked out the door in silence. Miss Kelly looked up at me from the bench outside the room.

"Can I go back to my room?" I asked quietly. She just nodded sympathetically. I had warned her.

"Your school uniform will be waiting in your room. It just arrived this morning. Tell me if it fits correctly. We could have it tailored for you." I just nodded and began to walk away. I heard her walk in the opposite direction, but I didn't bother to turn around.

I pulled out my drawing, just to take a look. I slowly unrolled it, stalling. I closed my eyes when I finished unrolling it. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. On the ancient piece of paper, was the monster I see every night entering my room.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold back my tears. I rolled the paper back up and jammed in back into my bag. My hands were clenched into fists and angry tears rolled down my cheeks. I wiped them away with my sweater sleeve and stopped. Reflexively, I pulled on sleeves down fiercely. Thinking of it is dangerous.

I was walking towards the dorms when I caught a glimpse of the barn. It was open. I took a right turn on the path that led to the barn. I trudged through the snow on the ground and felt the path beneath me. It was strange that in a state famous for the city, this school could be found in the vast open country. I stood outside the barn for a moment and walked in.

The horses were beautiful. When I lived with Charlie, I had ridden for a while. I learned the basics, but then I had to stop when Renee remarried and forced me to go live with her. But I never forgot about my horse Éclair. The first horse I saw reminded me of her. The horse was a beautiful black stallion. I approached the stall and saw the name plate. "Claire" it read. Amazing how alike she was to Eclaire.

I took a glance around me. There was no one in sight. I unlocked the door to the stall and walked in slowly. I was careful to close the gate quietly behind me. The horse backed up a little so I could have some room. I faced her.

"Hi there," I whispered. I remembered that horses hated loud and sudden noises. "You are very pretty, Claire," Calling her by name seemed to make her relax. I reached my hand slowly out to her. She didn't move, so I proceeded. I touched her nose and gently petted her. She took a step towards me and nudged. I let out a small laugh. "I once had a horse just like you, Claire. Her name was Éclair. She was a black stallion just like you. You remind me so much of her." I moved around to her side and caressed her muscular shoulders. She was strong, probably fast too. Whoever's horse this was took very good care of her.

"What are you doing in there?" Came a deep voice. I jumped. So did Claire. I looked over and saw the guy I saw last night. I could see him more clearly now. He was dressed similarly to what he was wearing last night: black coat, riding pants and boots. He didn't look furious, he looked curious and concerned. There was only the slightest hint of anger in his eyes. That or it was just the very dark color. They looked almost black. His eyes narrowed when I just stood there like a stunned beetle.

"O-Oh," I studdered. "I'm sorry," I stepped away from Claire and stepped out of the stall. "I didn't think anyone was in here. I'm sorry. I'm kind of new here," I stumbled over my words like an idiot. Claire stuck her head outside the stall and nudged the side of my head. I just patted her nose.

His eyes eased up a little. "Claire seems to like you," he stated.

"Heh, I guess so. Is she yours?" I asked, curious.

He walked up to the stall and patted Claire on the side of her face. He smiled as he did so. "Yes. She's my little champion." He turned away from Claire to look at me. Or I should say glare. "Why were you in her stall?" The anger was back.

I backed away. Claire nudged the guy's shoulder angrily. He just shoved her away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble," but that seems to be inevitable no matter where I am. "She just reminded me of my old horse. Actually, she is almost exactly like my horse. Only her name was Éclair." I explained in a rush. The last thing I needed right now was enemies. He was still glaring at me. Anger rose to my face. "Stop glaring at me!" I nearly shouted. "I said I was sorry. You don't have to keep giving me murderous glares." He dropped the glare and a look of surprise brushed across his face. I was waiting for the 'do you know who I am' speech. It didn't come. It was clear he was done talking, so I stormed out of the barn.

Ass.

I couldn't run back to my dorm fast enough.

I slammed my door closed behind me. I sank down to the floor and started mumbling to myself.

"I don't need all these judgemental rich kids!" I said fiercely to myself. I put my face in my hands. "I'm not going back I'm not going back I'm not going back," I chanted to myself. I thought of Jake. I thought of Becky, I thought of Charlie, I thought of all the people I would hurt if I went back. I took several deep breaths, trying to slow my racing heart beats.

"School hasn't even started yet and they already hate me." I just shook my head. Then I laughed to myself. "I seem to cause trouble everywhere. I carry it with me wherever I go. Either that or it follows me. I'm not sure who's at fault here." I stood up from my fetal position and walked to my bed.

On my bed was the uniform. It was neatly folded. There was a navy blue sweater with the mocking bird insignia. I moved it to the side and found a short sleeved white polo with the insignia on the tiny breast pocket. No one would ever see me without that sweater. I moved the polo to the side and found a semi short navy plaid skirt. I threw it on top of the polo and sweater. Then there lay a piece of paper with my schedule on it:

Student Name: Isabella Dwyer

Student ID: 13804

Grade: 11

1st hour- Pre- Calculus 4th hour- world Studies 7th hour- Equestrian Studies

2nd hour- English Literature 5th hour- Lunch

3rd hour- Physical Science 6th hour- PE

Great. School starts Wednesday, it's Monday. My freedom and sanity only had one day left. If Jake doesn't show up within a month, there is no accounting for my actions.

Then I remembered that I hadn't called Jake. My bag was still in front of the door with the cursed drawing. I picked it up and tried Jake again. This time he answered.

"Bella?" He knew who it was.

"Hey," My voice was thick with tears.

His breath caught. "Oh no. Bella you didn't.." he was so distressed.

"No! No, no, no. I just had a rough day." I sniffed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly.

I curled up onto my bed and turned my hand into a fist. "I guess. Well, my bad day started when I woke up here," he laughed and I continued. "Then I had to try out for this advanced art class. But the worst part was that this jack ass totally wanted to murder me in the stables today. I walked into this stall because the horse looked like one I rode before. So I was just petting her and minding my own business when this guy walks in and is all 'what are you doing?' and I apologized and asked him if it was his horse. Then he went all touchy lovey dovey and was all 'yes, this is my little champion'. Then he became totally bi-polar or something and was like, 'why were you in her stall?'. He gave me the weirdest, murderous glares. I got pissed because I had already apologized, so I just mouthed off to him and stormed off. My second day here and people are already judging me!" I shouted into the phone. Jake just laughed.

"It's not funny you fucking idiot!" I screamed at him. "You KNOW that I've had enough with judgmental rich kids!" But that made him laugh harder.

"Bella! Bella, he wasn't judging you! He was asking you a reasonable question! You were in his horses stall. He probably paid a lot of money for that horse and didn't want people messing with it." He stopped. I realized how stupid I was being. Then he said in a much calmer tone, "You're scared, aren't you? You are so scared of being judged, of being found out." I froze. Was that what I was afraid of? Was I really terrified to the point of paranoia over being judged? Yes. Yes I was.

"I think I am," I said. My voice was just above a whisper. "I don't know," my hands began to shake. "Maybe I just don't want people to find out. I think I'm scared for them to find out." My voice was also shaking.

"Bella, calm down. It's okay to be scared. I know you don't want them to find out. That they will judge you if they do, but maybe that's the key to getting over it. Think about it. Okay? Sleep on it. Then call me in the morning. Bella?" He called my attention back.

"Yes?" I croaked.

"Call me as much as possible. I promise you I will listen and help as much as possible. And when we find where to get the money, we'll come for you. Just hold on until then, alright?"

"Mhm." In order to keep from crying out loud I kept my mouth shut.

"Okay then. Good night. I love you Bells."

"Nigh Jake," I whispered. "I love you too. Bye." I hung up.

I jammed a pillow in my face and screamed into it as loud as I could, then started balling. Realizing what your true fears are really sucks. Then knowing that you can't really do anything about it is even worse. I'm going to be getting a lot of stares and looks from students just because I'm the new kid. I know that I'm going to twist their stares into glares and translate it into them judging me.

It's going to start again. Hell is going come back and haunt me. That's what happened the first time, it will happen again. Jake will be pissed, but there is no stopping it. I cried harder, knowing that I was going to hurt again. I lifted my head from the pillow and eyed my bag. I don't know how long I sat there staring at it, but the whole time, I was debating whether or not to reach for it.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is a little shorter, but it definately holds impact. Bella faces the difficulties of Jake not watching over her emotional being. Please review!**

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Chapter 3

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I woke up in my dorm. The rising sun dimly lighted the room. I looked at my clock: seven o'clock. This was a first. Normally you won't see me in public till noon. I ruefully got out of my bed and opened the elegant floor length curtains. I could see the sun just beginning to rise over the horizon. The sky was a mixture of the remaining night blue and the morning oranges. It was on days like this when I wanted to have water color paints and just put it onto canvas.

My clothes from yesterday were still on me. I'm guessing I fell asleep in them (no duh. Your clothes are wrinkled and you magically wake up in them…hmm. What does that tell you?) It was early, so I took my time in the shower. The warm water made me want to go back to bed, but I still wanted to get some things together. I forced myself out of the shower and got dressed in simple jeans with a small flare at the bottom and a USFSA sweatshirt that was one of the few remaining reminders I had of my figure skating days. That all ended when I turned 12.

I grabbed my messenger bag and made sure I had everything: my wallet, small pencil bag, iPod, daily planner (not that I used it that much. It's mostly just for show), cell phone, and my sketch book. I needed a relaxing day. So today I was going to listen to the cheesy shrink and draw my emotions and thoughts.

I locked my room door and headed straight for the administration office. I needed school supplies or else I was going to look like an idiot when I get to my first class. Showing up without the correct supplies makes it kind of hard to participate. Not that I did it that much anyway. I shall say it again: it's all for show. For the third day in a row, I walked into Ms. Kelly's office.

She was sitting at her desk with her stylish reading glasses set low on her nose (which was perfectly powdered). She looked up and smiled.

"Good morning, Bella. How can I help you today? Are you finding everything all right?" Her smile seemed plastered onto her face. Strange.

I took a seat in the same comfy chair as yesterday. "Yes. I was just wondering what I was going to do about school supplies. I only brought a couple of things with me, and I was wondering if the school supplied it or if I had to go out and buy it." She just kept smiling in her weird way and shook her head.

"Oh, goodness, it completely slipped my mind. Of course, I have all your supplies here ready for you," she bent over and under her desk to reach for something. She set an Apple laptop on her desk and a couple of textbooks. "This is all you will need. Most of the schoolwork is done on a computer, so we provide our students with them. I hope you don't mind Macintosh, it frustrates some students." She changed her smile from cheery to sheepish.

"Oh. I didn't know. Thank you. No, I don't mind Apple computers. I'm familiar with all computer systems." I babbled. She pushed the computer and books towards me.

"Well, go ahead. There is a guidebook in the package for the computer. The programs you need are already installed. So no worries there," she turned to her computer for a moment and clicked a few things. Then she turned back to me. "Is there anything else you need?"

I shook my head. "No, this is all I really needed to get done. It just occurred to me this morning that in order to participate in class, I would need supplies. I'm glad I did. I'd probably look like a dope showing up to class without a laptop," I grabbed the big box and textbooks, and then stood up. "Thank you for all your help. You sure make things here a lot easier for me," unlike a certain somebody I met yesterday.

Her smile broadened (if that's at all possible). "Oh, no Bella. It's my pleasure to help you. It's my job to make adjustments here easier for you. If you need anything else, just come to me and ask."

I began to walk out of her office and said. "I will," not. There are some things that even you can't fix Barbie.

I lugged all my new school supplies back to my dorm. I spent the next two hours of my morning trying to update my new laptop. Part of me didn't even want to use it because my parents bought it, but I decided it would be wise to just take the supplies because it was necessary. When I was finished setting up the laptop, I left the dorm and took off to see what inspiration I could find.

At first, I just stood outside the girl's dorm and looked around. I didn't know where to go. I closed my eyes and tried to figure out what mood I was in. I settled on being relaxed. It was my last day of freedom in any case.

The first place that came to my mind was the stables. I wouldn't go into the stall so Sass-a-Frass pretty boy wouldn't yell at me again. He really pissed me off, but I still owe him another apology for leashing out on him like that when he wasn't judging me. But I wasn't going to tell him that last bit. My personal life didn't need to be known by preppy schoolboys.

I pushed open the barn doors and was welcomed by a couple of 'neighs' from the horses. I smiled as I approached Claire. She truly was a magnificent creature. Her mane was brushed into shiny waves, her coat glimmered and her tail was neatly brushed. I greeted her with a pat on the nose. She seemed to like that. I pulled out an apple that I found in the cafeteria for breakfast. I held it out in my hand and she took it gladly. Her nose hairs tickled my skin.

"Good morning Claire," I greeted her formally. "Looks like you are well taken care of. Your coat looks so smooth and silky, and your mane looks neatly combed. You are certainly a spoiled little girl." She huffed at me and I couldn't help but giggle.

I sat down on a wood box across from her stall and pulled out my sketchbook and pencil from my bag. I looked at her for a moment. "Don't move Claire. I'm good with still objects, so little movement would be appreciated." As if she understood me, she cocked her head at an angle and kept there. "Thank you," I smiled, and began to sketch.

At first the drawing was a simple outline of Claire's face. Slowly, it turned into a sketch of her face. I drew the frame of the stall around her, put more detail into the wood, and started to add contrast and shade her features. She hardly moved an inch. Occasionally, she would walk away for a moment to grab some hay, but she would always come back and pose in the same position for me. I don't know how long I worked on the sketch, but when I took a break and looked at the sketch, it was almost done. I added a sparkle to her eye that I always seemed to see when I was up close to her. I wanted to add something special to the picture, so I erased a few lines, drew a rectangular plate on the stall gate. I wrote "Claire" in an elegant script and put a vine-like design from the left top corner of the plate and let it extend to the right top corner and bottom left. I took a deep breath and viewed my work.

It was finally complete. I stood up from my Indian style sitting on the box and stretched with sketchbook in hand. I walked over to Claire (who was thankful she could move freely again) and showed her the drawing. "Do you like it?" She huffed and nudged my head. I took that as a yes. "Good. I'm glad you like it." I looked at her. The longing in her eyes was unmistakable.

I thought about it for a moment. Walking into the tack room, I found a bulletin board and took a red pin from it. When I got back to Claire's stall, she seemed excited. I was a sucker for those kinds of things. I was about to pin the picture up when a familiar voice startled me.

"You again?" I jumped and dropped my sketchbook, pencils, everything. I sighed deeply and bent down to pick it up. Before I even reached the ground, he was there helping me.

I quickly tried to clean up all my drawing before he saw any of them. The one that I especially didn't want him to see was just out of my reach, and right in his. When I went to reach for it, I was aware that my sleeves were slipping up and immediately pulled back. He looked up at me with those strange topaz eyes and went to reach for my drawing.

"NO!" I gasped. He looked up at me again and raised his eyebrows (perfectly shaped-weird). I just froze wide-eyed. Brought back to my senses a few awkward silent moments later, I pathetically attempted to explain. "I-I'm sorry," I carefully picked up all the drawings in front of me and took a small step so I could reach the Drawing without worrying about sleeves slipping up. "That drawing is kind of private," I nearly whispered. He didn't look up at me, just down at one of my drawings: my most recent one. He gazed at it for a moment.

I was too scared to grab it from him. That would just be too weird. Instead I just waited for a response. "You drew this?" He asked, slightly in awe.

I gave a stiff nod. "Yes. I'm sorry. I promise I didn't go in her stall or anything. She was just so beautiful and she kind of reminded me of my horse. Sorry. I'm so sorry," I babbled on.

"This is amazing," he shook his head and turned to me. I felt a strange sensation run through me. He was so beautiful. His extremely pale skin seemed to glow, his hair looked wind blown, and it was the most unique shade of bronze. "Do you mind if I keep this? I've never seen anyone with this much talent. Not even me," he seemed to find something funny. He looked back at me, waiting for an answer.

It took me a moment to realize that I was staring wide-eyed at him with my mouth slightly open. I fixed that quickly. "O-oh, yes. Of course. Go ahead." I stood up and put everything in my bag. I was about to walk out when something caught my left arm. I instinctively yanked my arm away and grasped it with my right. I could see the look I had on my face reflected in his eyes. I looked like a frightened puppy that was about to be boiled alive. He looked startled.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that-" I stumbled stupidly over my words. He just held his hands up.

"No, no, I'm sorry. That was my fault. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."

I closed my eyes and sighed. But I held on tight to my arm. "No. I owe you an apology from yesterday too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. You asked me a reasonable question and I interpreted it wrong. It's just when people talk to me like that it reminds me-" I quickly stopped myself before I exposed anymore unnecessary information about myself.

He looked from the picture to me a couple of times. I looked down from his seemingly powerful gaze.

"What is your name? I don't remember your face from anywhere." I hugged my bag tighter to me with nerves.

"Heh," He looked surprised. "You wouldn't. He covered up everything." Oh. My. God. That should NOT have slipped out. I looked back up at him. My eyes looked like a wild frenzy from what was reflected in his eyes. "Oh God," I put my face in my hands for a moment to recover. "I didn't mean to say that. What I meant to say," I lifted my head and faced him with what courage I still had. "What I meant to say was, I'm new here. That's why you don't recognize me." I looked away from his curious eyes and gazed outside. It looked like twilight.

"Oh. It's later than I thought it was. I should get going," I turned again to escape my humiliation.

"Wait," it sounded more like a command than a plead. My disobedient feet listened to him and stopped. Damn feet! "I never caught your name." I didn't bother to turn and face him.

"I never gave it to you." I smiled to myself. No way cowboy.

"May I have it?" I heard him ask.

"I think you learned more about me than I intended," I told him. "That should be enough about me for one day." I took a corner-sneak glance back at him and he was smiling. I didn't let it show, but his perfect crooked smile simply took my breath away. I continued to walk out in a brisk fashion and double checked for the Drawing. It was still there. I could here the guy begin to talk to his horse as I stepped out of the stable and headed back to my dorm.

There seemed to be more students prowling around on the campus. There were some students running from place to place, others were simply strolling with a friend. As I took in the moment, I realized that this could actually be a nice place. It had a serene feel. It didn't have the belligerent atmosphere that my hostile house had. My house felt like a prison.

When I walked into the dorm, there was an Indian girl and a very small pale boy. They heard me come in and they flew off the couch as if they had done something criminal.

The Indian girl shot up. She was really pretty. She had semi-long wavy dark brown hair, a milk-chocolate colored skin, and her eyes looked like the perfect shade of dark chocolate. She had high cheek bones, strong build (must be an athlete; judging by her shoulders, I'd guess swimmer), and slightly pulled back hair line.

"Oh!" She gasped, letting her hand fly to her chest. "You scared me!" her eyes widened. The boy was her mini-me.

"You scared the living bujeezus out of me!" He was kind of cute. He was short- about my height- had thin, medium brown hair that was pin-straight, stick thin, wore retro glasses, and was wearing knee-length shorts with a polo and puma shoes.

I felt guilty for scaring them. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just going to my room." I started to leave when the girl started to talk to me.

She reached out her hand in my direction. "Hi, my name is Poonum. Poonum Desai. I live on the second floor," She had a good, firm handshake.

"Hi. My name is Bella. I live on the second floor, too." Instead of letting go of my hand, she grasped my hand with both of hers.

"No way! I thought I was the only one living on that floor! It's so deserted! What room are you in? We might be close."

"Umm, I think my room is called 'The Dancer', but I'm not sure." I scrunched my forehead as I tried to remember the name of the room.

Her eyes managed to pop open even wider. "'The Dancer'? Holy Hell! How'd you manage to snatch that room? Rosalie has been dying to get that room. And her father is a friggin millionaire! I live a couple of doors down in the Water Suite. So we are close! I must warn you though, Rosalie is on our floor. And if she catches you walking out of that room, be prepared for some murderous glares," she closed her eyes and let out a shiver.

I grinned. "Is this Rosalie that terrifying? I think I might have faced scarier drug dealers than her by the sounds of it. And I don't know how I got the room. I'm pretty sure that they just felt sorry for me and took what my mom had to offer. I don't really know." I perfected my lying skills a while ago. She didn't need to know about how my parents wanted to get rid of my and bribe me into shutting up about their abuse. She finally let go of my hand. Her eyes settled down. I took a good look at what she was wearing. She had a nice flowy skirt that resembled her culture. Her fitted white top emphasized her muscular yet girly physique.

"Rosalie can be a bitch," she admitted. "But if she hears that they felt sorry for you, you might receive some sarcastic comments on how poor you are. It's that or the glares. Take your pick." She shrugged when the boy coughed to get our attention…or mine.

"Hi," he gave his hand and I took it. "I'm Zach. Zach Horne. I, as you have probably noticed, do not live in this particular dorm. What grade are you in?" He asked curiously.

"Eleventh. But I'm taking all honors level courses." As I said this, their eyes lightened in a freaky cartoonish way.

"Oh, my, Edward!" They both shrilled. I had to strain myself from covering my ears. "We are too! We might even have some of the same classes! That would be so exciting!" Poonum explained.

"I highly doubt she is going to be in your classes Poonum," Zach protested. "You are in all those sports programs and she-no offense," he looked at me. I waved my hand. "But something about her body form tells me she's not an athlete." What was this guy? Sherlock Holmes?

Poonum let her lips slip into a pout. These are the weirdest people I've yet to meet (and some of the first). "Well, I'm taking Equestrian Studies and the advanced art class. If you guys are at all into that."

"Nah, I'm into music. I play the violin." Zach informed me in a brave way. Not many guys would admit that they play the violin (its kind of a girly thing in Texas).

I just nodded. "Well, it was nice to meet you, but I've kind of got to be going." I waved them goodbye, but I felt a pursuit.

"See you later Zach!" I heard Poonum yell from behind me. I groaned to myself. These people just don't know how to leave a person alone! "I'll walk with you. I need to go to my room anyway. Plus, I was sort of hoping you'd show me your room. I've only seen some of the paintings from that room, but I've always been curious." She gazed at me with hopeful eyes. "Would you mind? I don't mean to pry," I just shook my head in defeat.

"I don't mind. But it's kind of messy." I really hope that would get me out of this. That was a vain hope.

"Oh, I don't mind! I don't think anyone's room can be much dirtier than mine. My room looks like a tornado hit. Actually, some people describe it as a hurricane for some reason. I wonder why," she let her voice drift off into thought.

Okay. I really didn't want to be the one to break it to her, but when people say 'hurricane,' they usually mean that something or someone gets interesting and seems fascinating at first, but then it ends in disaster. I guess that kind of tells me a little something about her personality.

But something was nagging me. We stepped into the elevator and I felt that it was safe enough to ask. "Hey Poonum?" she looked at me. "You said 'oh my Edward' earlier. What was up with that? I've heard a bunch of bizarre versions, but that one is completely foreign to me." She smiled and blushed a little.

"That's what the girls say around here. With the boys its 'oh my Rosalie.'" I looked down at her (she was a couple of inches shorter than me) waiting for more of an explanation. "Edward is the hottest guy here," she explained. "Edward Cullen. His sister is Rosalie. He doesn't really connect with anyone or go out with girls. They are always all over him. Especially Jessica. But he always turns them down. All he does is go hunting and riding horses. He also takes a couple of other classes, but he just keeps to himself. He's a little bit of a mystery to us. We always try to get to know him, but he is so vague in the answers to our questions and doesn't really take an interest in anyone but his family. His sister Alice is pretty nice, though. She is cheerful, and we would describe her as a pixie because she is short, skinny, and weirdly beautiful. She is cute pretty, but Rosalie is mature pretty. His two brothers, Emmett and Jasper, are always making jokes and making stupid gambles. They are the most social ones. Edward is the least social of them all. I can't even tell you how many girls have tried to crack this guy."

She took a breather and we walked down the hall to my room. Her eyes lit up like roman candles as I pulled out the key to my room. I opened it slowly for a dramatic effect. I can't tell you how long she stood in the doorway, but she just gawked at the room.

"I cannot believe this!" She came out of her trance like state and jumped into the room. "This is amazing!" She twirled around in a silly circle like Maria from the Sound of Music on that stupid hill (I've always hated that movie).

"Yeah. I guess it is," I wasn't about to reveal to a girl I just met my obsession with Degas. Just a little too personal and touchy feely for me. I, personally, like to keep my personal opinions personal.

"You guess? I would commit murder for this room!" Something seemed to occur to her and she looked at her watch. "Oh my Edward! I have to get going. I have swim practice tomorrow morning and I need to sleep." She turned to me and began to walk to the door. "Don't be afraid to ask me any questions," gee, thanks mom! "I'm just down the hall. And Zach is always available. You usually see him around. Thanks for showing me your room," she took another glance around. "Just try to avoid Rosalie, okay?" she waved me bye and shut the door.

Peace at last! I collapsed onto my plushy bed. It's weird. I've been here for two days and I'm already beginning to feel comfortable. Maybe it's just because I'm far away from Him, but I feel like I should be here. Maybe this place might turn out to be good for me after all. You never know.

I got up and got into my pajamas (boxer shorts and a huge Oklahoma University t-shirt). I looked in the mirror, and I found something unexpected. I saw life in the reflected face. There was more color in the cheeks, the hair looked tamed, and there weren't any tear stains. I almost smiled at the figure. Instead, I just brushed my teeth. I went back to the bed and pulled out my phone to give Jake a call. I saw a couple of messages. I listened to some voicemails.

The first one was from Jake. "Hey. It's me. I was just wondering how you were doing and if you were coping okay. Give me a call when you get this. Bye!" Note to self: Call Jake.

The next one I wanted to delete right away. But something inside me kept me listening. I was trembling so much, I was surprised I could still hold onto the phone.

"Hello, Isabella." It was Him. His voice was as smooth as a snake. It somewhat resembles his character. "How are you? I was so disappointed that you left without saying goodbye." There were intentions in his sly tone. I knew the whole time I should've been hanging up, but my hand just gripped the phone tighter. "I was thinking, since I never got a formal goodbye, maybe I'd come up for a little visit," his laugh sent a shrill of terror through my entire body. "I miss you. I'm busy, so I might not be able to come for a little while, but don't worry. I _will_ come. I'll see you soon Isabella." There was a click.

I was shaking uncontrollably. _How the hell did he get this number?_ I've had his phone, for what? Couple of days? The fact that he was keeping tabs on me was almost more frightening than his promised visit.

For the first time in years, I felt true, cold-hearted _fear._

I got up and frantically searched for my CD case in my messenger bag. It wasn't there.

Running all over the room and frantically threw things every, to no avail, the CD case was still missing.

The only place I could think of where it would be would be in the stables. If he had picked it up…

SHIT.

I yanked on my tennis shoes so I could make a run for it. I threw on my coat in a rush. The elevator was too slow, so I took the stairs. The stairs flew under my feet, most likely because I was jumping three steps at a time. I needed rid of this fear…and _fast._

The dorm door almost flew off it's hinges when I came running out. From this distance, I could see that the lights in the stable were still on. I can remember very clearly the last time I ran this fast, only that time I was running away from something, not running towards it.

I slowed when I went through the barn door. The fear and panic kept me from feeling the shock of seeing the boy in Claire's stall, brushing her soothingly. My hands were still trembling.

He looked shocked to see me there. I didn't bother noticing.

I rushed over to the stall, nearly out of breath.

"I'm sorry to bother you again, but did I leave behind a black CD case?" It came out rushed and breathless. "I really need it."

He bent down into the corner of the stall, then he stood up holding my CD case. I let out a deep sigh of relief.

I took it without hesitating. "Thank you," I said feverently. "I can't tell you how important this is to me." I caught something flash in his eyes…worry? "Wait," I said as he started to brush Claire again. "You didn't look inside it, did you?" His jaw tightened just the slightest bit, but he kept his voice and face calm.

"No. You just didn't give me the chance to give it back to you," he smiled the crooked smile he gave me earlier. "I would've found one way or another, but knowing your name would sure help." Ooooh, this guy was smooth.

Despite myself, I found myself smiling. "Okay, I'll give you a clue." His face grew expectant. "My real name begins with an 'I'," I started. I added, "but the name I prefer begins with a 'B'." With that, I turned to sprint back to my dorm. I was running too fast, but I could've sworn that he was laughing.

When I reached my room, I slammed the door behind me and made a run for the bathroom.

I sat down on the ledge of the bathtub and impatiently unzipped the case. A calm breath escaped me when I discovered that the tools of my trade were still there. My old best friends, and enemies. I laid out everything in order: The scalpel, the bandages, the tape, and then the gauze. I sat for a moment in front of the tub, just looking at my crude weapons.

The anxiety coursing through me took control of my tremulous hands. I picked up the scalpel and my hands miraculously stopped shaking. I closed my eyes and took a relaxing breath. My body seemed to do everything on it's own. Once upon a time, this was a nightly routine. My right hand held the scalpel over my left arm. I turned my left arm palm facing up. I felt a quick slice of pain, but it quickly turned into a calming, icy shiver. I was careful to avoid the arteries (I wasn't stupid), and slid the knife a couple of inches up my arm.

I lifted the blade out of my arm, then I opened my eyes to view the damage. It was bad, but not nearly as bad as my first time. The cut was a good two inches, blood was leaking out of the deep cut. I took a wet cloth and wiped the streams of blood off my arm. I took the bandages and taped them to my cut. The gauze covered up any of the blood that usually leaked through the bandage.

I washed my scalpel with alcohol, then I loaded everything back into the case. I could feel the anxiety slipping away at last. I felt dizzy from the loss of blood, so I slowly got up and slipped into my bed.

The last thing that I thought of before totally passing out, was Jake. Jake would never find out about this. It would tear him apart if he found out that the monster had returned.

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So Bella is a cutter. Her nightmare has returned and the monster in her that makes her do this irrational action has consumed her once again. Her secrets keep piling up. Continue to read as her anxiety increases and her life continues to shift in dangerous directions.

**i can't stress it enough. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I tried to make this chapter short and sweet, but there was just too much to be said! When i got stuck on one part, i switched to Edward's POV. Tell me if i accomplished it okay. This chapter took me 6 hours! review and tell me what you think!**

**Ladies and gentlemen, **

**Chapter 4**

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My alarm clock was screaming at me to get up (no, literally. The song playing was 'bomb this track' by Mindless Self Indulgence. The dude was screaming at the top of his lungs). It seemed way too early to be getting up. I opened my eyes and saw reality. I was at some God forsaken boarding school that my mother sent me to so that she never had to deal with me again, He is literally coming after me, and my two years of control flew out the window like a paper airplane. Life was just perfect these days!

Classes were waiting. I got up out of bed and felt a burning sensation in my left arm. I saw a glimpse of gauze from under my sleeve and understood. I hated Him with a passion. I ignored my hate for Him for a couple of moments so I could get dressed. Now, I could fully appreciate the sweater. There was no way I was getting through the day without it. After brushing my teeth and combing my hair, I ruefully grabbed my CD case with eagerness and slipped it into my messenger bag, along with my laptop, cell phone, iPod, and art supplies. I slipped on my UGG boots and black wool winter coat. I didn't feel like putting effort into make-up today.

Pre calculus went by uneventfully. I wasn't terrible in math, but I wasn't good either. Thankfully, English Literature was my second hour. I've always been good at English, so I didn't worry about how well I did in that class. For some reason, it just came naturally to me. I walked into the class and saw a bunch of people socializing. But it went dead quiet (I hated it when people did that). Okay, good feeling I had earlier? Yeah, that's long gone. I sat down in my seat, feeling uncomfortable with all the stares burning into my back. Whispers slowly emerged from all the students and I could just hear the conversations now: "Oh my God, who is she?" I could just see their looks of contempt and disgust. But I knew that for my own sanity, I couldn't look at them. Thankfully, the teacher came in just in time to save me.

"Good morning." The woman heading toward the front of the class was undeniably beautiful. Her hair was a dark shade of caramel, her skin was beautifully pale, her eyes were the color of liquid butterscotch, her face was oval, her lips were full and a blood red, and her physique was perfect. I looked at my schedule. _Mrs. Cullen_ was who my English teacher was. I noticed that the entire class had sat down. "We have a new student joining us this semester," her eyes instantly came to rest on me. She smiled kindly. "Everyone, meet Bella Swan. She has come all the way from Texas to join us. Please make her feel welcome." I blushed (an impulse I have never mastered controlling).

Thankfully, she moved onto the subject for the day. "Okay, so we are going to start off this semester with some impromptu speaking. The first unit we will be studying is folklore, so I want you all to come up here to the podium and give us a classic, 'once upon a time' story. But I want it to be original." There were a couple of groans and a couple of excited murmurs from the class. I remained silent, hoping to go unnoticed. Being the 'new kid' didn't exactly help my invisible tactic for surviving. "Bella," I looked up. "Why don't you go first?" She waved for me to come up. I took my time getting out of my seat and slowly walked towards the front of the class.

I took a deep breath. _Sink or swim._ Mrs. Cullen signaled me to begin. "Once upon a time, there was a very blessed princess. Her mother was an inspiration to all, and her father was a protector of the people. The King and Queen loved their princess very much. They loved their little girl more then they loved each other, though. It soon tore them apart." I looked out to the class, and they all seemed to be taking in every single word I said. I continued with my story. "They agreed upon the splitting of the north and south of their kingdom. The queen ruled the warm and sunny south, while the king ruled the harsh and cold north. The princess agreed to live with her father in the North." Some of the girls had their hands over their hearts, as if they were actually touched. "She lived a good life with her father in the north," I continued. "She was happy until she reached the tender age of twelve." I heard several intakes in breath. Sappy bunch.

"The princess received news of her mother's marriage to a young, wealthy, noble. She was forced to move back with her mother. At first, this didn't seem so bad. But her mother's new husband was not the wonderful man she had assumed." Rage surged inside me and I added a little bit of bitterness to my speech. "

"He took her mother away from her, and she was tormented by his very presence. Every night," I felt a shiver run down my spine at the very thought. "A monster would sneak into her chambers and brutally attack her. Her mother just brushed her aside and ignored her. The princess felt isolated and alone. The monster returned night after night." I could feel the tears of fear welling up, so I skipped to the end.

"But one day, two years later, a young boy came to her. He told her he believed her, that she wasn't crazy. But the one thing that saved her from herself was his promise to never leave her, and always watch out for her. The boy whisked her away from the nightmare that was her new mother, healed her wounds, and taught her how to live life without fear. Together, they returned peace to the chaotic south, and reunited with her father in the North."

The class clapped enthusiastically. They all had smiles on his face, but when I looked over at Mrs. Cullen, and she looked more concerned than proud.

"Thank you Ms. Swan. That was truly an amazing and original story," I gave a quick nod as a thank you. "Notice, class, how she emphasized the feeling when the story reached its climax. I would like all of you to portray the feeling into your story that Bella did. Okay, who's next?" The rest of class was just listening to boring impromptus. They were all the same. Somehow, mine seemed different. My story seemed life changing. Theirs were heartless adventures. If you ask me, the speeches were pitiful.

After class, Mrs. Cullen called me to her desk. I was nervous, despite myself. She looked at me square in the eye. "Ms. Swan, I was quite impressed with your speech."

"Thank you," was all I could manage in a low tone.

Her eyes strengthened in intensity. "I couldn't help but feel a little truth to your story," I tried to keep my expression neutral. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Her face went from curious to mother-like in an instant. She was really concerned.

"No," I lied. "It's just something I came up with spur of the moment. I just did the basic damsel in distress theme. The monster comes in, prince or whatever saves her, a cliché basically." I was almost a pro to lying to people.

She didn't look convinced. "That's the point of these stories. But you seemed to erase the cliché altogether. You changed it from a basic 'once upon a time' to an original piece. I couldn't even tell where this was going. But I just had to ask," she paused to make sure it was okay. I just gave her a stiff nod.

"Were you the princess?" I was tempted to just walk away, but her gaze locked me in.

"I wouldn't exactly call myself a princess."

She persisted. "That's not what I asked." Wow. Nosey much?

I gave a frustrated sigh. "Look, it was just a story I made up. Okay, and yeah, there was a little truth to it. My parents got a divorce and my mom stayed in the south while my dad moved north. I have to get to my next class," I didn't know if she caught my look that pleaded for mercy, but she let me go anyway.

"Okay. You may go." I felt anxiety. No one had ever suspected anything before. Even if they had, they were smart enough not to say anything. My breath came quick and short. My hands were trembling ever so slightly. I was able to control myself enough to gather my materials. When I looked up, the guy from the stables was just in the doorway.

His penetrating gaze went from me to Mrs. Cullen. I ignored them both and just pushed past him and out the door.

The grounds had changed. Yesterday, nobody was walking around. Today, the paths and buildings were bustling with busy people. I tried to blend in, but I still heard the whispers.

"Did you hear her story in English?"

"-so depressing. I wonder if any of it's true."

"She must be one of those emo kids-"

A sarcastic voice said, "She must be the biggest bundle of fun anyone has ever seen."

I wanted to put my hands over my ears saying "LALALALALALA" like a third grader that doesn't want to listen to a sibling. I resisted the impulse and tried to push through the anxiety that was coursing through my body like a never-ending electric wave. I felt sick. I couldn't even get through two hours without being judged. I saw my physical science classroom and walked straight for it.

I took one of the empty seats in the back and kept my head down. I didn't see a teacher in the room, so I pulled out my cell phone and called my savior.

"Hello?" a tired voice answered.

"Hey Jake," I was a little breathless from the anx, but I was feeling okay now that I'd heard his husky voice.

"Oh, hey Bells, how are you doing?" I heard him get up.

"I'm doing…" I couldn't lie to him, but maybe I could pull it off since it was over the phone. "Okay," I finished lamely.

He wasn't convinced. "Liar." Now he sounded angry. "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't lie to me. What's going on?" He was angry and concerned at the same time.

I couldn't tell him about Him. "Just school I guess. It really sucks here. At first I thought I could feel safe here, but now I'm not so certain." I admitted.

"There's more you're not telling me." Jeez, was this guy psychic or what?

"Do we have telepathy? Or are you just psychic?" I asked teasingly to lighten the tension.

"Don't get off the subject Bella." He paused for a second. "So I'm right aren't I?" I could hear a smile in his voice.

"Shut up." I saw the teacher walk in and glare at me. "Ah, listen Jake, I kind of got to go. Sorry, you know how I love physical science!" I added for the teacher's benefit.

"Don't you dare hang up this phone Isabella!" He was really angry now. I winced.

"I'm so sorry," I barely whispered and then hung up. I'd probably end up with thirty messages from him when I turn my phone back on, but I had gone through this before. Phone calls are easy to deal with. It's when people like Jake try to break your habits that you get a problem.

Everyone starting coming into the classroom. Now that I'd talked with Jake, I think I might be able to make it through a couple of hours without breaking. No one looked familiar in this class. The teacher was an oversized guy who was attempting a goatee…not working out for him.

"Alright guys, take your seats and we shall continue on our previous lesson." There weren't any excited students; there were only groans and sighs of contempt. I couldn't help but smile. I also hated science.

Some kids were on their phones during his extremely boring lectures. I looked around to see if the coast was clear, and pulled out my phone to see how much damage had been done.

Thirty-two messages. That's a new record for Jake! I took a glance at a couple of them:

_Bella! WTF hpd? _

_We need 2 talk_

_Get ur ass out of tht class!_

_U didn't do it, did u?_

_Bella wats going on?_

_You can't ignore me 4ever_

_Bella! C'mon!_

_Talk 2 me!_

The texts went on and on in a similar fashion. I rolled through all his texts and they grew more and more with panic. I decided to ease some of his frantics and text him.

_I'm fine. Nothing happened. I just miss u that's all. I'm in class, so I won't b able 2 talk 2 u for a while. I'll text u l8r 2nite. Stop worrying. Im fine._

I touched send and the envelope went away from the screen. I put my phone back in my bag and went back to the lecture. This was going to be a very long day.

Edward POV

It has been a very eventful two days. I thought that this school held nothing of value or interest. Esme wanted to teach, and Carlisle just wanted to work at the hospital. Rosalie got her wish. She can tell that everyone envies her beauty, Emmett and Jasper are happy to cheat in their bets by using Jaspers gift. They enjoyed the social light.

I just came here because everyone else wanted to. Alice was the only one close to my views. She talked more than I did, but she still kept to herself. But if she got mixed into a conversation about this season's hottest shoes, she could talk for hours. She can make your ears bleed.

I didn't talk to anyone. Girls tried to get close to me, but they all had the same thoughts and feelings. I didn't need to read their minds to understand them. They all had the same shallow eyes and the average feelings for an attractive person like me. What kept them coming was my "mystery". I turned them down one by one. Soon, less and less girls tried getting into my head and eventually, they stopped trying.

It's strange how she changed me. She didn't try getting to know me, but I found myself trying to know her. But when she made her slip, I had a clue of the kind of person she was.

**Flashback**

Claire had always made me feel calm. I never felt the need to hunt her, because I was so close to her emotionally, and because she didn't really smell that great. I never got tired of tending to her needs or riding her. She didn't let anyone near her but me. She was sensitive around other people. I guess that is different since I'm not an actual person. I named her Claire after "Claire de Lune" by Debussy. She looked like a Claire.

Today I sensed something different as I came to the barn. I felt, smelled, and heard more than the horses though.

I heard an angelic voice, speaking soothingly to someone.

"I'm glad you like it," I heard her whisper. It seemed intimate. The sound pulled me closer. The smell was entrancing. It was floral…maybe freesia. I finally looked into the barn and saw a girl standing in Claire's stall, gently running her hand over her.

I was suddenly angry, "What are you doing here?" My voice was cold and harsh.

The girl jumped and spun around. Claire looked almost as stunned as the girl was. She looked like a stunned mosquito. But I wasn't paying attention to her shocked expression; all I could focus on was her in general.

She was unmistakably beautiful. Her hair was a rich mahogany with a red tint that I could probably only see. It was long and had thick curls. Her skin was almost as pale as mine. Her lips were a luscious blood red. The only flaw I could see was that her upper lip was just a little too full for the lower. Her body was thin… almost too thin. I couldn't tell her true shape because of the loose clothing she was wearing. My first thought was that she was one of us, but her _eyes_. They were big chocolate brown eyes. They were incased in long, dark lashes that were framed by sleek eyebrows. Her eyes weren't shallow. They were deep pools of thoughts.

Thoughts that I couldn't read.

I attempted to read her thoughts, but silence surrounded her. She closed her eyes and sighed. Her breath carried all the way over to me. It was mouthwatering.

Her mouth started to quiver. "O-oh," she stuttered. "I'm sorry." She quickly stepped away from Claire. She unlatched the gate and stiffly walked out. Claire looked almost disappointed.

"I didn't think anyone was in here. I'm sorry. I'm kind of new here," she explained in a rush. Not that it was a rush to me. She blushed a lovely shade of rose and the pulsing in my ears got louder. I could hear her heartbeat grow faster. I tried to focus on what she was doing in Claire's stall rather than how delicious she smelled.

Claire nudged her and the girl patted her nose.

"Claire seems to like you," I stated brusquely. I walked towards where the girl was standing.

The girl smiled. "Heh, I guess she does." She looked at me. "Is she yours?" _Yes. And I want you to be mine._ I threw the thought aside.

I walked up to Claire's stall and patted her on the cheek. "Yes. She's my little champion." I turned away from Claire to glare at her. She was touching my horse, and she was tempting me to do something I haven't done in years. I was angry again. "Why were you in her stall?" I snapped. Claire pushed my shoulder, irritated. I just pushed her aside.

She nervously took a step back. Wise of her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any trouble." She cocked her head to the side as if she were admitting something to herself. She quickly turned back to me. "She just reminded me of my old horse. Actually, she is almost exactly like my horse. Only her name was Éclair." Her words came in a rush. I couldn't stop glaring at her.

I still felt the temptation to move her head to the side and bite her neck. How can she make me feel this way? Was this girl going to ruin everything that Carlisle has built for us? Not on my watch. But she started yelling before I had the chance to say anything.

"Stop glaring at me!" She shouted. Claire grew uncomfortable. "I said I was sorry. You don't have to keep giving me murderous glares." I was taken back. How could this girl talk to me like this? Most humans couldn't make out one sentence in my presence. Instead, she gave me one last angry glance and stalked out of the stable.

I couldn't get back to Carlisle's fast enough. When I ran into the house, they were all sitting on the living room couch. Alice must have told them.

"What happened with the girl Edward?" Carlisle asked.

Emmett interpreted wrong. He put on a wide grin. "Ooooh, Edward got a girl? Bout time!" I glared at him.

"Not in the way you're thinking Emmett." I turned back to Carlisle. "I don't know what happened. I was just going to the stables when I…" I wanted to choose the right word without rousing suspicion. I thought quickly. "Sensed there was somebody else in there. But the girl," I shook my head. I was still in awe. "She wasn't even intimidated by me. She scolded me!" I gave a laugh of disbelief.

"This girl is definitely different," Esme smiled in my direction. "Do you know her name? Maybe I have her for a student." Esme was a teacher at Hockaday. She loved to teach English. She could never get enough of literature.

Alice's thoughts interrupted Esme. _Tell them Edward. If you don't want to tell anyone else, just get Carlisle alone. He needs to know. He might help you. If you won't tell him, then I will._

I just shook my head. "I guess it doesn't really matter." I sighed in defeat. Alice was so scrupulous.

"When I saw this girl, I had the immediate impulse to hunt her," I heard intakes of breath. "She smelled so potent and wonderful. I was able to control it, but only long enough to make her angry and walk away." I looked at Carlisle.

He gazed at me, searching. "Do you think you can handle it?" He asked in a serious tone.

Could I handle it? I managed to handle being around her by feeling angry. Maybe if I focused on something other than her smell that would help. It was worth a try. "Yes. I believe I can handle it. But I just wanted you to know." I began to walk away. I was going to go back to the stables, but Alice bounced up from behind me.

"So she was pretty, huh Edward?" I didn't bother looking down at her. I could see the smile already.

"She was beautiful Alice. And stop thinking those thoughts. That's not going to happen," I could see the girl and I, holding hands blissfully. We were walking together, in our own world. That would never happen to me.

Alice frowned. "Why not? You need someone in your life. Carlisle has Esme, I have Jasper, and Emmett has Rosalie. Why won't you allow yourself to get close to her?" Honest to God she was as confused as ever.

"Because Alice," I stopped and stared at her, frustrated. "She smells so good to me. I'm not sure what would happen if I got to close to her. It's different with you because your someone's vampire. Its different when you don't have to worry about sucking the life out of them." Comprehension glazed over her eyes, and she had the look of disappointment on her face.

_Maybe if you could learn to trust yourself and your strength, it could happen. You've been alone for too long Edward. You need someone. Someone who's not a horse._

What does that mean? That a man can't have a horse for a best friend? Shows you how open-minded Alice is.

**Flashback numero dos**

I had the same sensation I had as yesterday. She was here again. This time, her voice was calm and angel like. I became enveloped in her angelic voice.

"I'm glad you like it," she laughed a little. Who was she talking to? I couldn't sense any other humans. I heard Claire give a huff and new whom she was talking to. Footsteps led towards the tack room. She stood in there for a moment and walked out. I followed the sound and found her standing at Claire's stall, trying to hang something up.

"You again?" I asked in a calm voice. Or so I thought. She jumped several inches and spun around. Her things dropped from her hands and fell to the floor. Papers were everywhere. Her beauty stunned me again.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She bent to the floor and began to gather up all her papers in a disorganized pile. Her movements were frantic. She was trying to gather up everything at once and shove them into her bag. Her hair cascaded like a waterfall over her shoulders and the smell of strawberries stunned me. I shook my head and turned my attention to helping clean up the mess I caused.

I began picking up the papers and stacking them in a neat pile, but what was on them slowed me down. They were all sketches. They took the breath right out of me. They were all of lively things. I was about to say something to her, but she was eyeing a piece of paper in my reach. She began to reach for it, but pulled back just as fast. She gave a tug to her sweater. I reached for the drawing myself since she couldn't.

"No!" she nearly yelled. She gasped and closed her mouth. I drew my hand back. She looked frightened. She blinked a few times, and then she tried to explain. "I-I'm sorry." She gathered up the rest of the drawings in her reach, and then she moved over towards me and picked up the drawing. She spoke quietly. "That drawing is kind of private." I didn't look up at her. I looked at the most recent addition to my pile.

It was Claire. It looked more like a black and white photograph rather than a sketch. The proportions and the angles of her face were nearly perfect. The only reason I could catch that was because of my advanced mental math, but she came within degrees of perfections. She must have spent all day on this drawing. I looked at the nameplate she added to the drawing. 'Claire' was written in an elegant script, and had a vive design from corner to corner. The shading, the contrast, was all perfect. She even captured the light in Claire's eyes.

"You drew this?" I asked in awe. I gazed back up at her. She looked slightly taken back.

She gave a stiff nod. "Yes. I'm sorry. I promise I didn't go in her stall or anything. She was just so beautiful and she kind of reminded me of my horse. Sorry. I'm so sorry," she was quite uncomfortable. She was clutching her bag a little closer to herself.

"This is amazing," I complemented her. I shook my head in shock. Such talent! "Do you mind if I keep this? I have never seen someone with so much talent. Not even me," I mused. I have practiced the arts in silence alongside Carlisle. Carlisle has had a couple more centuries of practice than me, though. I noticed the silence and gazed back at her. Her face was wide-eyed in shock. Her lips were slightly parted. They still had that deep red color to them. How tempting they were.

"O-oh yes, of course. Go ahead." She waved her hand and started to walk away. Before I could stop myself, I rushed to her and grabbed her arm. I couldn't let her go just yet. Before I could think of anything else, her arm was yanked out of my hand. She never ceased to shock me. But instead of anger on her face, she looked frightened. She looked scared to death. She clutched her arm so tightly, her circulation was slowing.

Before I could apologize for my rude behavior, she began apologizing. "I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that-" she stumbled over her words. _She_ was apologizing to _me_ when _I'm _the one who grabbed _her._ Her actions were non-sensical.

"No, no, I'm sorry. That was my fault. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that." I said earnestly. I acted on impulse. I would have to work on that. She just shook her head.

She closed her eyes and sighed. . "No. I owe you an apology from yesterday too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that. You asked me a reasonable question and I interpreted it wrong. It's just when people talk to me like that it reminds me-" She shut her mouth before she could finish. She was going to tell me something she didn't want anybody to know. I was about to ask her what it reminds her of, but I told myself that I probably wouldn't like the answer very much.

But at the same time, I did want to know. I wanted to know what she was thinking. She was the first person I've ever met whose thoughts I couldn't read. She was a mystery wrapped in freesia and strawberries. I felt the strong need to figure out what was running through her mind.

"What is your name? I don't remember your face from anywhere," I have never seen her at this school before. She must be new. But her answer surprised me.

"Heh," she laughed darkly and looked at the ground. "You wouldn't. He covered up everything," Just as the words left her mouth; I could tell she regretted it. She gasped and covered her mouth. But she just added to my list of questions. She hid her face in her hands. "Oh, God." She took a quivering breath before she looked back up at me. "I didn't mean to say that. What I meant to say," she took a deep, calming breath. "What I meant to say was, I'm new here. That's why you don't recognize me." She concluded. Smooth finish. _Nice save._

She looked around, searching for a distraction…and a different topic. She looked out the doors and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh. It's later than I thought it was. I should get going," she turned to escape, but I didn't have what I needed.

"Wait," I called out to her. She stopped, but didn't turn around. "I never caught your name."

I could hear the smile in her voice. "I never gave it to you," Ooooh she was sly.

"May I have it?" I persisted.

"I think you learned more about me than I intended," she admitted. "That should be enough about me for one day." I smiled. She was clever. She continued to walk out after a moment. I just stood there, holding my newly acquired drawings, and admiring them.

I looked back to where she made her exit. There was a small black CD case lying on the ground next to Claire's stall. I walked over to pick it up. People don't normally carry these around with them anymore. Thanks to the invention of the iPod, no one has had to lug them around. When I picked it up, I heard clinks from metal colliding. Things were moving inside of it. I looked back to her direction, then back at the case.

I didn't know much about her. Maybe a look at her CD's won't be so bad. I'll find out what kind of music she likes.

I slowly unzipped the case and opened it carefully. I didn't move for a very long time. I just stared in disbelief at the contents of the case.

Cut into the individual CD protectors, was a hole for each item. In the first hole was scalpel. The next one was a stack of bandages, and a roll of gauze. I saw everything with clarity.

The way she hesitated to pick up the picture. She was afraid her sleeve would roll up. When she yanked her arm away from my grasp, she was afraid I would feel the scars. Now the question was, why?

It was a couple hours later. I was brushing over Claire, trying to unravel the mystery of this girl. Her case rested in the corner of Claire's stall so that only I could find it. I couldn't piece together everything. I ran over our conversation over and over again and found a connection to the "he" she was referring to when she talked about "he covered up everything." The best guess I could come up with was that he was what caused her to turn to the knife.

As if on cue, I heard footsteps fast approaching the stall. I faced the direction of the entrance. The girl came running in, her eyes were in a panic. She rushed over to me.

She was out of breath. "I'm sorry to bother you again, but did I leave behind a black CD case?" I stood still. Part of me didn't want to give her back the crude case, but I didn't want her to know that I took a look. Instead of giving her a counseling session, I bent down and picked up the case. She sighed in relief.

She took it from me without hesitation. "Thank you," She said, out of breath. "I can't tell you how important this is to me." She needed it? Why? Was she going to cut herself again? The thought of her purposely making herself bleed made me worry. I felt the impulse to protect her. "Wait," She said cautiously. "You didn't look inside it, did you?" I could see everything in her eyes. She didn't want to get caught. She was frightened. I could see her trembling all over. Her eyes were a wild frenzy. She was going to cut herself again.

I smoothed out my face. Maybe if I distracted her, she would forget why she needed it. "No. You just didn't give me the chance to give it back to you," I tried to smile a convincing smile. "I would've found one way or another, but knowing your name would sure help." I actually would never have given it back. But she didn't need to know that.

She smiled, despite herself. "Okay, I'll give you a clue." I waited for the rest. "My real name begins with an 'I'," I thought that was all, then she added, "but the name I prefer begins with a 'B'." With that, she sprinted out of the barn. I laughed for a moment at her evasiveness. But I stopped myself.

I failed to protect her. Even if it is from herself, she could kill herself. I didn't want to follow her and stop her, because I don't think I have the control to see her blood and not drink it. Instead, I continued brushing Claire, thinking that I was going to save her, no matter what it took.

**Present**

School has started again. I carried around notebooks that contained all the information I've known for years. Occasionally the system changes, but they are only differences in teaching methods. Esme always told me when something new was happening.

I was going to talk to Esme about the girl after physical science, my first class. The girl had been in all my thoughts since last night. I kept trying to figure out what was done to her to force her into such an irrational act of violence to herself.

I stood outside of Esme's classroom and heard her talking to a student.

"That's the point of these stories. But you seemed to erase the cliché altogether. You changed it from a basic 'once upon a time' to an original piece. I couldn't even tell where this was going. But I just had to ask," I heard Esme pause. Then she continued. "Are you the princess?" Ah. They were working on folklore. I remember her talking about impromptu speaking, but I ran through the speech she was thinking of, and I knew whom she was talking to.

"I wouldn't exactly call myself a princess."

She persisted. "That's not what I asked." Esme wanted to know what was wrong with her, too. I think she knows more about it than I do by the sound of it.

_She doesn't want me to know, but I smell fresh blood. She's done something. _Esme thought. So she had done it. Esme knew she was in pain, too.

She gave a frustrated sigh. "Look, it was just a story I made up. Okay, and yeah, there was a little truth to it. My parents got a divorce and my mom stayed in the south while my dad moved north. I have to get to my next class," I only heard Esme's thoughts.

_She is pleading for mercy,_ Esme was a little shocked. I could see the desperate look on the girl's face. Esme was getting somewhere. _If she doesn't want help, then I won't bother, _Esme thought sadly. Finally, she said, "You may go."

I stood in the doorway and Esme looked up.

_That's her, isn't it? _Esme asked. Her face was shocked. I looked from Esme to the girl. She gathered her materials in a rush. She saw me, looked away, and squeezed past me in the doorway. The scent of her dried blood hit me like a wrecking ball. It had such a strong impact. Esme distracted me.

"Edward," she beckoned me to her desk. I was there in an instant. She looked at me with sad eyes. "Did you hear the story?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Only a small part of it. What was her story about?" Esme did an overview in her mind. I was shocked. Did she really feel this way? Who was the monster? Great. More puzzle pieces.

"Do you know anything about this Edward? I know you smelt it. You are very sensitive towards her. What do you know?" She dug for answers.

I sat down in one of the desks. I put my face in my hands. "Yes. I know. I smelt it. I don't know why she does it Esme. I found a case lying on the stable floors. It was hers. She left in a hurry so she must've forgotten to pick it up with her other things. But I heard clinking coming from the case when I picked it up. I opened it and-" I paused. Esme wanted me to continue. I took a deep breath. "There was a scalpel. Along with bandages and gauze."

She had an intake in breath. "You mean she," I looked up to her horrified gaze. I just nodded. If she could cry, she would be right now.

"That's terrible," She looked down and shook her head. "I knew there was more in her story than she let on." She looked up and saw the questions in my face. "Her name is Isabella Swan. Swan isn't really her last name. It's Dwyer. But when she went to administration, she told them that she prefers Bella Swan. My guess would be that Swan is her father's name. Dwyer must be her stepfather's."

Bella. The name was just as beautiful as she was. If only the skin on her arms were.

Esme interrupted my thoughts. "You have to help her Edward. Don't ignore her like you told Alice you would," she gave me a stern, motherly look. "She needs help Edward. Don't deny it. I can't watch her destroy herself as she walks through my door every single day. I won't have it Edward."

I didn't have to think about my answer. "Of course Esme. Even when I told Alice I would ignore her, I don't think I ever thought I could." From that moment on, my purpose was to protect Bella…from herself.

* * *

**Sorry that it's so long! But I shortened it as much as I could. I knew you are probably too tired of reading this to review, but PLEASE review. **

**In summary, Edward knows about Bella's habbits, and now so does Esme. Bella is trying to fool everyone, including Jake. I will try to add information on Jakes mission in the next chapter, but i also want to start Bella and Edward's relationship. Which would you rather hear more? Review and tell me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, my friend Vanquishluvr was practically begging me to update. So here is the fifth chapter of Ellipsis. I added a couple of twists. I hope you enjoy them!**

**Chapter 5**

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My first day was almost as terrible as I thought it was going to be. Damn nosey teachers and judgmental bastards. It was stupid to think that this wouldn't happen, but thankfully, I knew how to achieve my solace.

I didn't bother with eating. I wasn't ever really hungry anymore. I skipped lunch and went straight to my PE class.

When I walked into the gym, I found some students were already dueling. I went and sat down on one of the bleachers and observed the two fighters. They were both wearing the traditional protective wear, and their swords or whatever you call they were flying at each other gracefully. I could tell they were both male. They were both at least six feet tall and had strong build.

I heard the bell ring and went to go gear up for my first fencing class. I was excited because I became an artist with sharp objects. This would also help channel my anger that tended to pent up inside me. I think this is going to become psychologically healthy for me.

I watched the instruction and became completely enveloped. I hung on every word and absorbed all the information like a sponge. Finally, we were able to begin the duels.

The instructor, Coach Clapp, waved her hand at me to go. When I got to the mats, I saw one of the guys from earlier. I recognized him from his gear: it looked custom.

"En Garde!" the coach shouted.

The guy lunged for me, but I quickly side-stepped it. I shoved it away and let my sword slide up his in a quick rebound attack. We seemed equally matched. The duel lasted several minutes this way, and the dance never seemed to end. The adrenaline that seemed to pump through my veins helped me avoid his lightning quick attacks. Finally, the coach called it as a draw.

"Now take off your helmets and shake hands," Coach Clapp instructed.

We obeyed. The boy standing opposite of me was one of the most handsome I had ever seen. He had short, but very dark curls. He had muscles that could probably crush me in one squeeze, and his eyes were a sparkling topaz.

"Good job," he held out his hand. I shook it and repeated the compliment. I went to sit down, and he sat down next to me.

"That was a really good duel!" He went on. "You should try going up against Jasper, he beats me nearly every single time," his eyes focused back on the mats.

"Is your name Emmett by chance?" I asked out of curiosity. He smiled mischievously.

"So you already know my name? That's interesting. You look new, what's your name?" He asked curiously.

I smiled. "Well, from what I heard from a dorm mate, you two are kind of glued at the hip. And you are correct, I'm new here." I held out my hand. "Bella Swan," he took my hand and shook it firmly.

"I'm Emmett Cullen. But yeah, Jasper is out on the floor right now if you want to watch," he pointed to the other fighter on the mat with the similar custom gear. I watched in awe as he gracefully attacked his opponents and defeated them one by one. It was like watching in slow motion. My gawking was interrupted by the bell.

I was grateful for my next class. Riding horses had always come naturally to me. I loved being around them. I called them gentle giants, because they truly were. At one point, the only person in the universe I trusted was my horse Éclair. I had hated Charlie because he surrendered to my mom's pleads to send me back. So whenever I went to visit him, the first place I went was to see Éclair. Soon though, he had to give her up because it became too hard and expensive for him to keep. That's what ended my visits.

I walked into the stables and found a couple of students tacking up their horses. I went to the office to see which horse I was assigned.

I knocked on the open door. "Hello?" a beautiful woman at the old, dusty desk looked up. She had waist length white blonde hair. Her eyebrows were elegant, her red lipstick made her lips looked lusciously plump, and her riding outfit did fabulous things for her figure.

She smiled a brilliant white smile. "Hello. My name is Kai. You must be Bella. Please," she pointed to the chair. "Come sit." I did as I was told and took a seat in the faded leather chair. She looked at her computer screen for a moment and turned back to me.

"I have received a request from one of my students that you must simply have his horse to ride. Her name is Claire, she is a beautiful black stallion. I'm sure you will find her worthy of riding. It won't take long to find her, she's kind of hard to miss." She smiled at me.

Sneaky bastard. "Okay. I think I know which one you're talking about. What should I do about tack?" I asked uncertainly.

She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh. Edward already took care of that for you. You will find the saddle, bridle, saddle blanket, everything you need is all waiting for you. Edward made sure everything was perfect for you."

I stood up to excuse myself. "Uh, thank you. And tell Edward," I said his name with a little annoyance, "that I also say thank you." She nodded in confirmation and I walked over to Claire.

I opened her stall gate and walked in. She neighed excitedly and stood straight and tall, waiting for me to gear her up.

I began loading everything on her. "You know Claire, your owner is a sneaky bastard," I began putting on the bridle when a horrifying familiar voice boomed.

"Sneaky? I don't really think so." I found him standing outside the stall, patting Claire on the nose. He smiled crookedly and my knees went weak. Strange.

"Dude, you invented sneaky," I managed after regaining my breath. "I bet you don't do anything unless it's on one of your nine secret agendas," I declared.

He avoided looking at me and said, "I'm not an agenda type person. I'm more 'spur-of-the-moment' if you know what I mean." He stepped away from the stall as I opened it and led Claire out.

He nodded approvingly. "You know how to handle a horse."

I laughed. "I was practically raised on one. I should think that I know a thing or two about horses." I kept walking out towards the riding ring where the other riders were gathered. Suddenly, Sneaky was next to me and grabbed the reigns.

"How about a private lesson today?" Like he was giving me an option.

I gazed at him unconvinced. "On my first day? Hmmm. Special treatment. I thought teachers weren't allowed to choose favorites," I exclaimed. I hated those types of suck-ups. They seriously rubbed me the wrong way. "And what about attendance and shit like that? You don't exactly look like a teacher to me."

He walked us towards a huge field that seemed to extend forever. He stopped before the gate. He gazed up in thought. "Well, they are going over the basics in class today. And from what you've told me, you've been raised by those basics. Also, I'm on good terms with the teacher. I already informed her of our field trip." Ha-ha. Isn't he punny.

I saw another horse tied to the fence a little ways down. It was a white horse, probably Arabian. They were strong, fierce, and had incredible power in a sprint. They could also jump higher than any pole vaulter I knew.

I stared dumbfounded at the gorgeous creature. "What is that?" I asked in awe.

He smiled and led me over to her. "This, is your new assigned horse," my jaw dropped. I had never had any experience riding such a creature. "Her name is Aphrodite. I hope you will find her fit for your skills," he smirked.

"Hey! I'm not cocky about my skills! How would you know anything about them anyway? You haven't seen me ride." I accused. Then added, "I haven't really ridden in a long time, so I wouldn't be surprised if I fell off and made a total fool of myself." I admitted.

He slung he leg over and onto Claire. He just gestured me to get onto Aphrodite. Such a pretty name. "We'll just have to see about that." He smiled his crooked smile and took off. I kicked Aphrodite to go and she flew.

I'm not sure how long we ran, but we finally stopped near a creek to let the horses rest. He sat down on the ground and waved his hand for me to join him. I stood next to him with my arms crossed.

"So, _Edward_," he smiled as he knew I found out his identity. "What's all this about?"

"Well _Bella,_" DAMN IT! "I wanted to see how well you could ride. You seem like an interesting person. Most of the students here are duller than a spoon." He waved me again to sit down. I did.

"What makes you think I'm an interesting person?" I asked curiously.

He had to think about it. "Well, mostly because you're interested in old fashioned things that most people don't bother with. Not very many people are interested in fencing, and your sketches," I cut him off.

"Whoa, wait." I held up my hands for him to stop. "How do you know about my fencing?" I asked, suspicious.

He didn't have to think about his answer. "My brother Emmett told me about you. He said you managed to fare pretty well on your own. But don't be too shocked if you find out he was holding back on you." He smirked. Ugh.

Right. Emmett is very social. Should've known to keep my mouth shut. Note to self: don't trust overly social people!

"Okay. Would you like to tell me why you have a sudden interest with one such as me? From what I've heard, you're not exactly the kind of guy who would whisk a girl off on a horse ride through the forest." His smirk disappeared.

"Well, you're just…different from the rest of the students here. You seem more real than most people." He looked at me and smiled kindly. I felt blood rush to my cheeks. "You are unpredictable. You don't have the same reactions most people do."

What's that supposed to mean? "What? Does that mean I'm a freak or something? I kind of always figured, but it's the first time anyone has had the guts to say it out loud." I frowned.

He laughed. It was an enchanting sound. I stored it in my memories, just in case his cheerful laugh is needed someday. "Well, yes, you are a freak," I glared at him with evil intent. His smile became wide. "But so am I. It's nice to have someone similar."

This made me flare up. He thought he was similar to me? We come from different planets! He hadn't experienced half of what I've been through.

"What makes you think we are so similar," I whispered menacingly. "You have lived such a pampered life. You have parents that love each other, that care what happens to you for the right reasons. You probably haven't even worked a day in your precious life," I stood up to get back on Aphrodite.

A cold hand grabbed my arm. You'd think after my first reaction, he'd learn not to do that. I automatically yanked my arm away and turned to stare at him with wide-eyed panic.

His eyebrows met in the middle of his head in confusion. "Why do you do that?"

I yanked my sleeves all the way down. "No particular reason," I lied smoothly. I threw my right leg over onto Aphrodite.

"Liar," he said bluntly. His eyes were serious, with no trace of humor.

I lifted my chin high in defiance. "You have no proof. I'm innocent until proven guilty." I kicked Aphrodite and she took off.

I knew this was a bit mellow-dramatic, but it pissed me off when people tried to relate their lives to mine. They have no idea what goes on in my so-called-life. I think what set me off was when he caught me lying. Nobody really asked me why I do that. Nobody cared enough to ask.

Wait a second. I pulled Aphrodite to a stop in the middle of some field. I stared into space while I let realization run me over. Not-so-surprisingly, Edward showed up a minute or so later.

I was still staring into space when he stopped beside me.

"You okay? I'm sorry, that was rude of me to say. Now I'm not saying that it isn't true, but it was rude to say nonetheless."

I wasn't listening. "Why did you ask me?" I questioned, staring at Aphrodite's white mane.

"Ask you what?" He sounded confused. I looked up at him, at his perfect, bronze, windblown hair and intense topaz eyes.

"Why did you ask why I pull away?" I rephrased.

He just shrugged. "You always do it when someone touches you. I don't know why, but I just noticed."

"You have to be paying attention to notice something," I muttered. I felt my back pocket vibrating. I learned the hard way a while ago that you shouldn't use 'ring' when you're around horses. I picked it out. "Sorry. Just one second." I looked at it and quickly looked away.

"Um, I have to get back. Could you get me to the stables? I really don't have a clue where we are." My tone was still shaky, but I was using everything I had to suppress the rising anxiety.

His forehead creased. "Of course," he paused. "Is everything alright? Anything I can help with?" I was finding it difficult to tell him no, but I wasn't about to spill secrets to a guy I've known for two days.

I sighed. "No. I'm just not one for avoiding the inevitable."

"What does avoiding the inevitable have to do with anything?" I pushed Aphrodite into a trot and Edward followed.

"I'm just going to end up facing it alone anyway. No matter which way it goes." I shrugged. "Do I want to deal with it? No. Is there anyway that I can stop it? Nope." A hysterical bubble of giggles burst through my lips. The anxiety was rising to my throat. Tears were threatening to well up. "But I just want it done. Lets get going." I didn't give him a chance to respond. He took off with me to where the stables were.

I wasn't planning on doing anything about the call, but I needed to do something about the shakies. When we got to the barn, I couldn't clean up Aphrodite fast enough. My breathing became quicker and quicker when the time to think about Him increased. I needed solace.

I was walking out of the barn when Edward came up from behind me. I gasped when he was suddenly at my side. As if I needed more reasons to hyperventilate.

"Shit!" my hand flew to my chest and I was gasping for air. "Don't do that!"

His eyebrows met. "Do what?"

"Appear out of nowhere!" The snow level was beginning to wane, and I was thankful. With less snow, the faster I can run.

"Oh, sorry," he looked like he could hit himself.

"What do you want?" I demanded, stopping in the doorway to the barn. "I really have to go," my shakes were getting worse and my breath was getting more difficult to regulate. I was left gasping for more air after that outburst.

"Are you alright?" He put a hand on my upper arm in concern. I pulled away.

"I'm fine, I just have to take care of something," I left him standing in the doorway while I darted for my dorm room.

I sat on my bathtub, watching the blood drip onto the floor from my arm. He would be so happy if he knew what he was doing to my life. I couldn't help but wonder if his sick torture was ever going to end.

Weekend came around and I decided to take a walk around. I grabbed my iPod, my survival kit, and my wallet. I wasn't in the mood for food, so I walked straight past the cafeteria without a second glance.

I came across the music wing. I could hear a couple of violins and cello's coming from the practice rooms. From one I could hear a flute and clarinet. I ignored all of these and kept walking. I found an empty room and walked in. Next to a large bay window, was a gorgeous Grand piano.

I slowly walked over to the beautiful instrument and sat down on the bench. I ran my fingers over the white ivory keys. They were practically screaming "PLAY ME!"

I played a scale to see if the piano was in tune: it was. My wrist tingled from my self inflicted cut, but I still continued to play. My scale turned into my favorite piece of music. The sweet melody flowed through my veins like a river. The pianissimo sounded beautiful, the chorus became powerful and moved into a forte. The second verse turned back to pianissimo and my fingers went into a rocking motion over the keys. The second chorus was powerful, but tranquil. I closed my eyes and trusted my hands to hit the right notes.

This was my escape some time ago. At the peak of my personal hell, I needed tranquility. I turned to the piano and expressed peace through composing music. In a year, I had written a three page piece. No one every found out about my music, and I worked hard to keep it that way…so He wouldn't take that away like everything else.

Every time He would leave me alone, I would either bring out the sketch book or the blank sheet music. My shrink recommended a lot of things to me, but piano was something I figured out myself.

My piece became very quiet and it drew to a close. I sighed. I put my hands in my lap and breathed. He turned me into someone I never wanted to be. My hands clenched into fists. When I lived with Charlie, I was happy. I had dreams, goals, and drive. I wanted to be a well rounded person so I could make friends wherever, I dreamed of becoming an oncologist, my goals consisted of going to the shelter at least twice a week in Seattle to feed the homeless. I went to live with Mom and everything I had ever had or wanted, went up in flames.

My hands reached for the keys and let my anger fume out through playing Toccata and Fugue in D minor. The dark and sinister tone of it reflected my anger. Today, there was just too much anger. I got through the first page of memory and closed the piano. I stood up and crossed my arms, staring out the bay windows. I took a seat on the small ledge.

I got lost in the falling snow. I didn't know how long I had been staring, but I heard the door open.

My head turned quickly to see the intruder of privacy and found—to no surprise—Edward Cullen.

He was dressed in dark denim jeans, nice leather shoes, a blue button up shirt, and a grey pea coat. His perfection struck me again. His skin was pale, but glowing. His eyes were different today…much darker. His hair looked damp from walking out in the snow.

"Was that you playing?" His expression was impassive.

"What are you talking about?" Yes, it was me. But you shouldn't know that.

His expression grew determined. "The piano piece that was coming from this room. Was that you?" He was determined to make me crack.

I stood up and grabbed my things. I didn't want to talk to Mr. Nosy.

"I have never heard it before. Who is it by?" He persisted. He is obviously not going to take a simple "yes" or "no" answer.

I sighed in defeat. "Yes that was me playing, and you are not going to hear that piece anywhere. And could you please stop stalking me? I'm flattered that I'm worth stalking, but it's becoming kind of creepy."

"Play it again," he requested. I stopped before I reached the door and turned to glare at him in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" I managed.

He pointed to the piano like I was mentally retarded. "Play it again please."

I was irritated. "I'm not mentally retarded, wise ass," I put my hands on my hips like a pissed off third grader. "I was wondering why you want to hear and critique my music."

He waved a folder at me. "I'm a composer, too. I want to see what my competition has." He smiled slyly. I was always up for a competition.

I threw down my junk and sat down at the piano. My wrist was still a little tingly, but that's no excuse. My hands glided over the keys as my piece started over again. It was amazing how I could work on the same piece for a year, play that song over and over throughout the years, and still not get tired of it.

Edward didn't say a word while I played. He stood by the window and just listened. Back at home, no one would take the time of day to listen to me. It was refreshing.

At the end of my song, he didn't turn around. He continued to stare out the window. The silence was irritating. I felt like he was judging me.

"Well? What do you have to say? Whatever it is, just say it." I felt like I was talking to a wall! I scoffed and stood up.

"What was your inspiration?" I turned around and saw curiosity burning in his eyes. Fun!

"I'm not telling you anything. One," I counted off my fingers, "I don't really know you that well. Two, no one has ever heard me play. Three, it's none of your fucking business."

"If I play one of my songs, will you tell me?" he asked smoothly. Interesting compromise, but one more thing.

"Only if you tell me your inspiration, too." I countered. He seemed to have to think about this for a moment. Finally, he gave in to my terms.

"Fair enough." He sighed and sat down at the piano. I took a seat on a stool that was sitting in the room. He didn't take out any of his music, he just started playing. It was a soothing melody, somewhat like mine. It wasn't aggressive, but it was slightly more powerful than mine. I closed my eyes and took it in. His song was more joyful than mine, but it had heart to it.

His song came to a close and I opened my eyes to see him staring at me.

"What?" I snapped.

"Your inspiration?" He got straight to the point. He certainly didn't dwaddle.

I stared for at him for a moment, he looked uncomfortable. "I was out shopping one day, and there was a little girl and an older man shopping for some jewelry. I was looking for a particular necklace my mom wanted. For a moment, the little girl's and my eyes met, and I saw a little girl's eyes, they were begging for help. All I could do was stare. She looked so helpless, scared. I went up and asked her if she was okay, but the older man just glared at me. It scared me, so I walked away. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to go back in time and helped that little girl," I was on the verge of tears. The only thing I didn't tell him was that the story was completely reversed. I was the little girl, the girl who asked me if I was okay was beautiful. She was tall, had nice clothes, long blonde hair that flowed down to her lower back in waves, her skin was beautifully pale, and her eyes were the strangest shade of gold. I never forgot her face.

"That's quite an inspiration," he said slowly. He seemed to be processing what I told him. "Mine is…somewhat similar," he conceded.

Not likely. "Really? Let's here it then."

He took a deep breath and began his story. "Mine is more of a tortured love story," he began. "I had, I guess you could call it a dream. A boy wanted to be with a girl, but this girl was hurting herself," I stiffened. Nah, it couldn't be. "He struggled to get her better, and she hated him for it, but they still ended up loving each other in he end." He shrugged off the story as if it was nothing.

"Interesting," I said standing up. "Difference is, something happened in your story. That person did something and had a happy ending. In mine, nothing good came out of it. Only result in mine was misery." I walked out the door, angry.

He continually finds new ways to piss me off. I drop my sappy, true story inspiration, and he counters it with a happy little love story. Hardy fucking har.

I felt pursuit as I quickly walked out of the music wing. I looked over my shoulder to find Edward catching up. UGH! I shook my head and pushed myself a little faster. My lack of nutrition was coming back to haunt me. I slowed down so I wouldn't topple over. Side effect: Edward turned up next to me.

"Edward," I said stopping to face him. "If you could tell me anything that was on your mind right now, and I'm giving you the chance to say what you need to say, what would you tell me?" The words came out in a rush.

His gaze was intense. His words came out slow. "I wouldn't say or tell you anything. I would listen. Nobody else seems to." I was taken back. I had all these smart-ass comments saved up for a moment like this, only to have them not needed. I stood there like a stunned deer.

"What?" I managed to say. My face had gone from mad, to numb with surprise…I could've sworn there was a little bit of joy, too.

His gaze kept up intensity. "I said I would listen," his voice was a little more gentle. I felt the sudden impulse to kiss him. I felt the same impulse when Jake said he would take care of me. For some odd reason, it felt as if Edward was saying the same thing.

"Nobody wants to." I said quietly, but now uncertainly. I looked down at the cold concrete to avoid his eyes.

"I do," he whispered. I shook my head.

"Nobody needs to hear a story like mine. It's not right." I kept walking, hoping I didn't have to say anymore. Vain hope.

I felt him tap on my shoulder. I felt something in the pit of my stomach…hope? I turned around and saw through his eyes that there was definitely hope.

"You look like you could use something to eat," he said.

I hadn't eaten in a couple of days. With unwanted phone calls, school work, and extra-curriculars, I had just forgotten.

"I'm not hungry." I stated simply, turning away.

"How about Jamba Juice?" ERK! Hold up! Crazy man say what?

"You have…Jamba Juice?" I asked with a pause. Halleh-damn-luyah! The light has been shed upon me!

"Yeah, just outside of campus." Okay. I wouldn't care if this guy was a friggin criminal. I'd still let him take me to Jamba Juice. Carribean Passion, here I come!

I spun around and crossed my arms. "Fine." He smiled crookedly and my heart skipped a beat. Strange reaction.

"Great. I hope you don't mind, I don't have a car, but I have a motocycle." This guy keeps getting better and better!

"No way. What kind?" I walked a little closer to him and we started walking.

"Ducati." He said with a shrug. Well that wasn't very specific. He didn't know he was talking to a car fanatic.

I sighed in frustration. "I mean what _kind._ I'm not mentally challenged. I speak car." It was very rude of him to assume just because I'm part of the female species that I can't understand the male language. Men.

He stared at me with surprise. That's not insulting or anything. "848," he said. "I didn't know you were so well educated in motor vehicles." He smiled to himself.

I stopped in my tracks. "An 848? Are you kidding? Can I drive?" I was dead serious. I would kill for a Ducati. I have a hit list for these purposes.

Now he stopped. "Uh, no." He looked as if he would have a heart attack. This guy was unbelievable! Stupid stereo-typer! Not all women are bad drivers!

"Why not?" I demanded.

"Uh, because it's my bike and I have not experienced your driving abilities." Why did this guy talk so properly? He saw my sincere disappointment. "I'll tell you what, when I get the Ducati Superbike, I'll let you have the 848. Deal?" Is he serious?

I was about to question him, when we walked up to the most beautiful bike I had ever seen. Its long sleek form made it look graceful, the liquid silver that made the bike seem fluid, the three numbers written on the side of the bike in a brilliant red, the muffler perfectly positioned under the black leather seat. It was a dream in silver with wheels.

I gaped. "Deal." I barely managed.

He swung his leg over the bike and started her up. "Coming or not?"

I shook off my awe and came back to reality. I swung my leg over and took my place behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

The bike took off with amazing force. The adrenaline was pumping through me and I wanted to go faster. Edward read my mind and the bike pushed past 80 mph. It felt amazing to have the wind in my face. I hadn't been on a bike since the last time Jake took me riding to the bar. The sensation was familiar and comforting. Within no time, we were flying past the Hockaday gates and into the real world. The cars and trees and anything else that was still flew by us in a blur.

All too soon, we pulled to a stop in front of Heaven-in-a-cup.

I let go and leaped off the bike. "That was the most amazing bike ride I've ever been on!" I put my hands on both sides of my head. "The speed is amazing!" I looked over at Edward, who was leaning casually on the bike. He seemed to be laughing at an inside joke…or at my very childish reaction to the best bike ride of my life.

The sparks of the moment were gone, and irritation took it's place. "What?" I barked. He just kept trying to suppress his giggles, but his lips were twitching madly.

"Oh, nothing. I didn't know you were so enthusiastic is all." His lips were twitching at the corners again.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well _excuse_ me. But that was a pretty amazing ride when it's compared to those stupid little Suzuki ninjas." His face scrunched up as if he had just eaten a lemon. "You see my point." He nodded and his face turned back to normal.

"Would you like to go in now?" He led the way to the door, but I beat him to the door and pulled it open. The smell of the organic and citris ingredients shot up my nose and I sighed with pleasure. Every one always thought my reaction to this place was over dramatic, but this place was my sanctuary the moment it appeared in Texas.

"Oh my God, I just died and went to Heaven." I walked up to the counter, knowing what I already needed.

"Welcome to Jamba Juice, what can I get for you?" The tiny girl working at the counter asked.

"I need a 16 oz Carribean Passion." I couldn't get it out fast enough. Okay, so maybe I was a little addicted. Just a little though. I'm still trying to break out of the denial phase.

"Coming right up." She gathered the ingredients and I watched as my anecdote to my misery came together in the blender. I only came out of my phase long enough to remember Edward was here with me.

"Do you want anything?" I said turning back around. I glowered at him. He was sitting at one of the small two-person tables, eyes clenched shut, hand over his mouth, shaking with laughter. I thought about trashing his bike, but then I remembered I'd be inheriting it and shoved that plan aside.

My order came up and all of a sudden, he was there, paying for it.

Okay, so one of my huge pet-peeves is when guys try to pay for you, and when you are a serious feminist, it tends to piss you off.

"What are you doing?" I snapped.

He looked confused. "I'm paying for your smoothie," he handed a five dollar bill to the girl at the register.

"Don't take that!" I shouted at the girl. I felt bad for doing it. She was so small, and she looked so cute with the Jamba Juice hat, her light, thin brown hair pulled back into a pony-tail, her steel blue eyes so confused. "Here," I pulled out a five and handed it to her. I shoved his bill back at him. "I can pay for myself. You aren't even getting anything." I took my change and my smoothie and sat down at a table.

He calmly sat down next to me, no sign of anger on his face. Okay, now this is strange. The last time a guy tried paying for me and I leashed out on, he got really pissed and totally stomped out of the club. Edward did the complete opposite, so it kind of hit a nerve to watch him sit down next to me with no sign of being annoyed.

"I was only trying to be polite," he said matter-of-factly. "I invited you, and I wanted to pay for your drink. Is that so wrong?" His topaz eyes bored into mine with curiosity.

I was a little shocked, but I managed a response. "I can pay for my own things. I don't need people taking care of me. Ask Jake. He's been doing it for a few years and knows how pissed I get. My advice?" I took a sip of my C.P, "Don't try it again."

"So you are very independent?" I could totally feel the game "20 questions" coming on.

I sighed in defeat. "I try, but Jake stopped letting me be so independent a couple of years ago. Whenever I refused his assistance, he gave it anyways. It really pissed me off at first, but then I got used to it. But I only allowed him to because he was the only one I didn't have a say in."

"Is Jake your boyfriend?" I nearly spit out my drink, but then I realized that this was too good to waste, so I forced it down.

"Uh, no. Most people do think that, but really? He is more like a brother. He took care of me as a sister and I confided in him like my twin brother. He's a couple years older than me, and he has a better head on his shoulders, but we behave the same way. We are immature and we like to cause trouble." I laughed as I had a flashback of watching Phil's car have a domino effect with all the cars we owned. Classic.

"Why did you come here?" Bold question. He sure knew how to pick and change a topic.

I was a little frustrated with this guy's serious questions. It was killing my buzz. "My parents sent me." I said flatly.

He wouldn't accept that wimpy answer. Nosy bastard. "Why did they send you here?" He pressed.

I was going to lay it out plainly for him. "My parents sent me here because they thought I needed an attitude adjustment," He interrupted me.

He faked the wide-eyes and look of surprise. "No kidding!"

"Shut the fuck up. They also thought I needed a change in environment because they thought my friends were a bad influence and turning me against my family when really it's them that are pushing me away. They wanted nothing to do with me and so they threw me on a plane to New York and I went. End of story." I went on sipping my C.P and stared at the swirl designs on the wood table top.

"You are eventually going to burst from all these secrets you are keeping and it's not going to be pretty." He told me.

I pulled away from the straw and drew my gaze off the table. "Oh really? And what makes you think I will crack? I have the best poker face ever made. You can try me on anything. Ask me anything, and I can keep a straight face. And I only have two secrets. I can name a hundred people off the top of my head who have more than me. So don't tell me that I'm going to 'burst from all my secrets'. In fact, I'm almost positive that you have more secrets than I do." His eyes tightened just the slightest bit.

"Oh-ho." I rested my elbow on the table and put my chin in my hand. "Look who's hiding secrets now. I have a feeling you are going to tell me your secrets before I tell you mine." I smirked.

His eyes brightened at the challenge. "Wanna bet?"

"Sure. If I win, I don't care if you haven't gotten your Superbike yet, I get the 848. If you win," I shrugged. "Take what you want. I don't have much to offer."

"If I win, you have to keep any promise I tell you. Deal?" Weird conditions, but alright.

"Deal." I gave out my hand and he shook it firmly. His chilly hands made me want to pull back, but I didn't want him to feel like he was some nerd who's hands are contaminated.

"We should start heading back." He said when I finally finished. He stood up and I went to throw my cup away. He opened the door for me like a gentlemen. I paused beneath the door frame.

"Can I drive?" I asked again.

He smiled. "I don't think so." He drove at the speed of light while I maintained full pout mode.

I wanted to groan when the gates to the academy opened for us. This place was similar to a sanctuary, but something felt off about it.

He pulled up in front of the girl's dorm and let me go in by myself.

"Bella," he called me just as I was about to go in. I looked over my shoulder to look at him. "If anything is wrong, don't hesitate to call me."

Huh? "I don't have your number," I told him. He smiled that same crooked smile that made my heart stop momentarily.

"Yes you do. Later Bella," and he drove off.

I pulled out my phone and looked through my contacts. Lo-and-behold, Edward Cullen's number was at the top of the list. Sneaky little bastard. I smiled to myself and walked in to find two very anxious people waiting for me.

"Bella!" Poonum and Zach shouted at the same time. They put their hands on my arms and started pushing me towards the stairs. "Bella, you have to get out of here!"

What the fuck is going on? "Let go of me! What do you mean? You guys are seriously senile!" I yanked my arms out of their grasps.

Poonum's dark brown eyes looked around frantically, making sure the coast was clear for whatever I was supposed to be running from.

"Rosalie just found out who got her room and she is BEYOND pissed. I would run away if I were you. She isn't exactly the kind of girl to let something like this slip by." Her eyes finally settled on me and I was startled by the sincerity in her statement.

Ooooh. A challenge. "I think I'd like to meet this Rosalie. She sounds like my kind of girl," I pushed past Poonum and Zach and headed towards the elevator where I hoped I would encounter this lovely person.

My dreams came true! I approached the elevator just as it opened, and I found a very pissed-off looking Sleeping Beauty.

She looked exactly like her…and another person I knew. The long, wavy locks, the blood red, luscious lips, her topaz eyes that were an imitation of Edward's, her tall, slim frame; it was the girl from the shop.

But that was impossible! That was well over four years ago! She couldn't possibly look the same. But she did. I stood there, staring dumbfounded at the girl who could've changed my fucked up childhood. She probably didn't even recognize me.

My theory was proved correct when the glower turned permanent on her perfect face.

"Are you Bella Swan?" Her voice was low and menacing, but I didn't notice.

"You," I whispered. She continued to glare.

She marched out of the elevator, I moved backwards and she headed straight for me. She was a few inches taller than me, so in that moment she towered over me, I felt like that little twelve year old again. I wanted to shrink.

"You will not keep that room. I will make sure I take it off your grubby little hands." She stopped glaring when the dumbfounded expression didn't leave my face.

Finally, words formed in my mouth. "You bitch," I whispered.

Now she looked surprised. Apparently no one had ever talked to her like that. "Excuse me?"

"You bitch!" I screamed, running towards to the staircase to find my room.

* * *

**If you were paying attention earlier in the chapter, you heard the story of the jewelry shop girl who influenced Bella so greatly. Well, think. Why would Bella call this complete 'stranger' a bitch. hmmmmm....i wonder. **


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter has a little more EPOV. Bella has a terrible case of word vomit and Edward infers a little too much. **

**Chapter 6**

* * *

I was too angry to realize what was out of order in this situation (being that she hasn't changed at all from the last time I saw her well over four years ago.). I could care less if she was confused about what I said to her. She probably didn't realize whom she was talking to. She doesn't remember me but I sure as hell remember her. She had the opportunity to save me from my miserable life with Renee and Phil. She chose to walk away. She was a coward, like all the other countless others who saw the pain in my wide childish eyes.

I slammed my bedroom door shut. I had so much anger channeling through me it was overwhelming. I had never faced a scenario like this. Any time that I had been brave enough to be angry was when I was drunk, and I didn't remember how to get rid of it. I was seeing red and blood was pulsing in my ears. I wanted this pressure to go away. My reflex reaction was to turn to my razor, but then I heard Jake's voice telling me otherwise.

I dug out my phone from my bag and fished through my contacts list and found Jake's number. It rang twice and he finally picked up.

"Bella? Is that you? Where the hell have you been?! I've been trying to call you all day!" His shouts only made me more frustrated.

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me!" I shouted into the receiver.

"Okay okay! Just stop screaming," his tone softened and I waited to make sure he was really listening to me. Not very many people did.

"I know this is going to sound _really_ strange, but I need your advice on how to get rid of all this anger. It's just pent up in me and it's giving me a headache and my blood is pulsing in my ears! I need it to go away!" It came out fast. I smacked my hand on my forehead to see if it would relieve any pressure. It didn't.

"Wow, okay. Um…" I could tell he was thinking quickly before I turned to my traditional methods. "Oh, hey. Try doing that fencing thing you texted me about. Maybe if you channeled out your anger in a formal way, you could get rid of it without hurting you or anyone else. If that doesn't work, go for a ride."

I took fast, deep breaths. In…out. In…out. I struggled to focus on my breathing. It was beginning to come in quick gasps.

"Okay. I'm going to try those out and I'll call you to tell you if it worked." I was about to hang up, but he stopped me.

He chose his words carefully. "And what will happen if they don't work?"

I thought about it. "I'll get back to you on that." And I hung up.

I threw on my winter coat and grabbed my messenger bag. I ran as fast as could out of the dorm and to the gym, where I would hopefully find opponents who could defend themselves well.

I entered the gym and went straight into the girl's locker room to put on my dueling gear. Walking out with my helmet and saber, I was not at all surprised to find Emmett and Jasper Cullen in the midst of a duel. I was fidgeting, waiting for them to finish. I eventually stopped fidgeting because their fight was amazing to watch. They were so precise in their movements, quick thrusts of a sword, and each one dodged it with grace. For a moment, I thought I was watching a ballet. But two muscular guys participating in Swan Lake? That would certainly be something to watch.

One of them glanced my way and they both stopped. I felt guilty for interrupting them, but I would feel even worse if I physically hurt someone else.

"Hey," I said by way of greeting. I walked over to the mats where the two brothers stood. With the suits on, the only difference between them was that Emmett was much broader and muscles were more defined. Jasper had a smaller figure, but they were both the same height.

"Hey Bella," I closed in on Emmett. He was the only one of the two brothers I had met. "What's up?" He took off his helmet, I assume, to see me more clearly. Thank God I could see him more clearly. He reminded me of Zeus with dark curls.

Jasper also took his helmet off. I had never seen Jasper before, but from what I knew of the Cullens, they were all gorgeous. Jasper's tall, slim but muscular frame made me look like a two year old. He probably stood a little over six feet tall. He had the same gold eyes, except his hair was blonde, and had wild curls. It was longer than Emmett's, not as tamed. Why are all the Cullen kids' winners in the genetic lottery?

I managed to focus on why I was here." Well, long story short. I am beyond pissed right now and I really don't want to hurt anybody so I came here to see if someone who could hold for themselves pretty well would mind sparring with me." I said it pretty quickly, but from the smirk on Emmett's face, I think he caught most of it.

"Oooh, a pissed off Bella Swan. This is bound to be fun." He smiled wryly at me and started walking towards the bleachers.

That was confusing. "I thought we were going to duel?" I said shrugging my arms.

He turned and gave me a wicked smile that frightened me the tiniest bit. "I think Jasper would be a better opponent for you." He said turning back towards the bleachers.

"Why?" I pressed on. I wasn't very familiar with Jasper and it made me slightly uncomfortable.

Jasper answered for himself. "I have much more practice holding back than Emmett does. He tends to get a little over excited." Emmett laughed humorously and Jasper smiled. He put his helmet back on and I followed in action. We found our way over to the mats and we took our starting stances.

"En guarde!" Jasper shouted. I was totally lost in the battle. I was glad I chose fencing to channel all my anger into. For one, it was fun. Fighting with these two brothers was thrilling in its own way. I let my body act on its own. I didn't think, I just fought with everything I had. Our battle cries filled the gym with energy.

I'm not sure how long this fight went on, but finally, the tip of my sabre connected with Jasper's stomach. We stood there frozen for a moment. The only heavy breathing was coming from me. Did he just give me the win? So much for channeling my anger. Now I was just more pissed.

Emmett's whooping and hollering interrupted the silence. "Wooo! All right Bella! You totally just kicked his ass!" He started laughing and rolled over onto his side.

We put down our weapons and took off our helmets. I realized he didn't hand over the duel when I saw the total shock on his face. I smiled, but I felt insulted that he thought I couldn't beat him.

"Why are you so shocked Jasper?" I asked brusquely. What is with Cullen guys and judging women? They are all fucking sexist!

He shook his head. "I wasn't even holding back that much after your first few blows. I didn't use my full potential of course," he added and I glared. "I was just amazed at your potential. You have a real talent for this." He patted me on the shoulder in a friendly way.

"Either that or I was just super pissed." It's entirely plausible.

He shook his head no. "I think if you tried hard enough, you still would've done that well. You still managed to maintain perfect form. Though I will admit that your anger probably helped you with the quick blows and fast reflexes."

Was he complementing me? This was flattering.

Emmett ran up to us. "Can I duel now?" But he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey, want to duel?" Oh God. Is he stalking me? I looked behind Emmett to find Edward in full gear, ready to play. His expression changed when he saw me standing next to Emmett.

"Bella," he finally said. "What are you doing here?" he walked up to our little group.

I shrugged. "I needed to burn off some energy. Jasper helped me out. Emmett just laughed at him." I smiled at my victory. Edward's eyebrows shot up.

"She beat you?" he asked incredulously of Jasper.

He looked at him knowingly. "I was holding back, but not by much."

Edward still seemed surprised. "Hm. I would like to test your skills Miss Swan," he said formally.

I had more pressing matters to settle with him. "Actually, I was hoping you would accompany me to the great hall. I have some questions for you." They all traded guarded glances with each other. Edward looked slightly frustrated. The tension was like fire on my skin.

"I'll tell you what," uh-oh. You know what they are thinking is no good when they start a sentence out with 'I'll tell you what'. "If you beat me in a duel, I will answer your questions. If I beat you, you have to answer a few of mine. Deal?" What could he possibly know about me? Sounded like a safe bet to me.

"Deal."

"What?" Emmett whined. "I wanted to duel her!" He looked like a kid in a grocery store whose mom wouldn't buy the candy. I giggled.

"I don't think she's ready for you yet." Emmett smiled. He was satisfied with Edward's comment. Showed who was the most powerful.

Then Jasper added. "You are in danger of throwing the game." His face was playful, but his eyes were serious.

Edward laughed it off. "You know me Jasper. I don't throw the games away like you do." Edward smiled to himself, but stopped and said, "Hey. Be nice." 'Be nice'? That was random.

Edward was much more difficult than Jasper. It was probably because my anger had worn off. The match was over pretty quickly.

"I win!" He announced. I took off my helmet to glare at him.

"You have terrible sportsmanship. I can tell you're the guy everyone wants to toss into the wall at the tournaments." I said walking away in irritation and embarrassment.

He very cautiously grabbed my upper arm. I turned and saw him fighting a smile. "I'll admit that I have that effect on people. But a deal's a deal. And since I'm in a nice mood, I will answer a few of your questions…depending on what they are." He added.

Whatever. "I'm going to change." I said, yanking my arm out of his grasp.

"I'll meet you back out here." He yelled back to me.

I showered to take up time, waiting for the embarrassment to wear off. It did eventually. I took my time getting dressed, wondering if my intended slowness was irritating Edward yet.

I failed. When I walked out, he was waiting as patiently as ever. I was beginning to think he was a saint in disguise.

"Ready to head out?" He asked. Emmett whistled and I went crimson. Where's a crowbar when you need one?

"Sure," I said without caring. His questions couldn't be that bad. He hardly knew anything. And I could also just ignore them if they got too personal.

We walked a ways over to the great hall where breakfast, lunch, and dinner were served. I never went in there…well, except once to get an apple. I tended to avoid the crowds. I was never the socialite. Claustrophobia was a whole other issue.

The great hall was a gothic structure. I thought of it as something you would've seen in England in the Dark/Middle ages. The arches in the ceiling were dark wood, while the spacious walls were a dark, almost black stone. The tables were all dark wood with benches. This school could've passed off as that school in the book _Evernight_. I was waiting for all the vampires to start popping out.

We took a seat at one of the tables. There were other students in the room, but just enough to make a soft buzz in the room.

I sat down and wanted to get this over with. I swiftly got to the point.

"Okay," I said as he sat down. "What do you want to know?" I said, staring into his eyes, clasping my hands together on top of the table, and being very business like. Strictly business.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked.

I glared. "Don't change the subject. What do you want to know?"

He glared back. "You need to eat something." Oh, so he was my nutritionist now?

"Alright Dr. Oz, enough about my appetite. What do you want to know?" I repeated again. If I were hungry, I would've gotten something to eat.

"Fine," he glared back. "First question," he began. "Why do you call your parents Renee and Phil? Why not 'Mom and Dad'?" I didn't meet his eyes.

I was true to my word, so I answered honestly. "Because I don't consider them my parents." I wasn't going to elaborate on that subject…it was too broad.

"Why don't you consider them your parents?" He pressed on. I felt the tingling in my hand that told me to slap this nosey bastard in the face. I removed my hands from the table and sat on top of them so I wouldn't do anything rash.

"Because they didn't raise me," I artfully evaded the question.

"Who do you consider your parents?" He asked.

I had to think about that one. I cocked my head to the side and gazed out of the corners of my eyes in thought. "My dad Charlie, Jake's brother, Chris, I guess Becky was the best mother figure I had, but she was really more like a good friend. Other than that, I didn't have parents." I shrugged it off. It was no big deal.

His face was concerned. "Why didn't you live with Charlie?" Huh?

"Uh, well, the courts didn't exactly give me a choice. I was only eleven at the time. Renee got remarried. Phil plays major league baseball, but he's not that good," I giggled as I remembered him coming home angry. He blamed his suckiness on his teammates.

Edward didn't get what was so funny. "So your mom," I stopped him.

"She's not my mom. Her name is Renee." It angered me when people thought of her as my mom. I thought of her as the Devil in the form of a woman of poor character.

"Alright, let me rephrase. So Renee took you away from your dad because she wanted you to go live with her." Uh, no. Renee didn't give a shit if I came back or not. Phil was the one who wanted custody. He wanted to adopt me as his daughter, but whenever he asked, I always responded, "I already have a daddy. I'm Charlie's daughter." He always got frustrated whenever I refused.

"So why did Renee take you back?" Okay, time to play Evade Edward Cullen's Nosey Questions!

"Because she felt like it," he frowned. I could tell this game was going to be fun.

"Did you get along with Phil?" ROUND TWO!

"I went into one of those 'your not my father so I'm not going to act like you are' phases. So no." Teehee.

"You are a very straight forward person?" Phew! Change of topic.

I smiled. "I'm as subtle as a brick to the forehead. I hate to sugarcoat things. It's pointless. It seems like lying. Being blunt is what I'm good at." I added proudly.

"Yes, well you are also good at evading my questions." Ha. He caught onto that.

"You are observant." I crossed my legs under the table and rested my chin in my hand.

"Back to the questions," he said irritated. "What was Charlie like?" His expression turned gentle. He must know that we were close.

I smiled at the change of subject. "Where to start. Well, Charlie has always had my best interest in mind. When my dad and Renee got divorced, he made sure I was happy all the time. When I was six, I told my dad that I wanted to be a figure skater and he signed me up for lessons. I skated for seven years. During which, I also developed a love for horses. In Washington, there are a lot of forests and trails that you can go on. I think I started riding when I was eight. Dad made a lot of sacrifices so I could do all these things. He was just a police detective, so his salary wasn't that great, but he still managed to pay for my activities. He was home every night for dinner, we watched NASCAR races together. To reciprocate his generosity, I accompanied him on his weekend fishing trips. I didn't particularly like fishing, but it made Dad happy. We were happy together. Every night before I went to bed, he would tuck me in and tell me 'I love you'." I felt tears well up in my eyes. I realized just now how much I really missed him.

"You two were obviously very close," Edward said softly. His angelic voice called me back to the present. I nodded. "Why didn't you go back to him when you became of age?" Became of age? What was this? The nineteenth century? Who talks like that anymore?

I admitted, "Well, I was kind of angry with him for selling my horse. I was really attached to Éclair. But mostly it was because Renee had primary custody over me. Phil, Renee, and I fought all the time about it. Phil moved heaven and earth to keep me there. I had no choice in the matter…as usual." The fire of anger I had for Renee and Phil that I had recently tamed, threatened to explode again. He kept me there to torture me.

"You didn't bother having Charlie gain full custody?" There was confusion in his voice. I suspected as much.

"Like I said before, Dad didn't have the best salary in the world. I told him not to bother wasting money on me. He couldn't afford a good enough lawyer to really put a dent into fixing it, so I told him no."

Edward nodded, seeming to understand where I was coming from.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" I really didn't want to say any more. "You said that you would answer a few of mine."

His eyes were guarded now. He stiffened a little bit and adjusted his position a little bit. Why was he so nervous?

"Depends on the question," he reminded me.

"It's nothing bad, I promise. No need to get your boxers in a bunch." He smirked at my attempt at humor.

"Go ahead and shoot," he relaxed a little bit.

So the investigation begins! "Rosalie is your sister, am I right?"

He nodded. "Yes. We were both adopted by Carlisle and Esme when we were very young." This answer sounded too practiced. I let it slide.

"Where was your family four years ago?" I asked quickly. I wanted to get out of here, but I needed to get the information first.

His eyes tightened. "We were in Frisco Texas. Carlisle worked at Baylor hospital in Plano though." Perfect.

So it was her. She was the one who walked away. That one day in the jewelry shop, I was terrified. She saw that. I could tell from her personality that she is not one to give up so easily. I mean, seriously, did you see the way she reacted to me getting the room? She is driven. She is fearless. She's the kind of person who could pick any fight and win. Then one look from Phil and she turns away. That is the best example of cowardice I can come up with.

I didn't notice I was staring intensely at the table. I looked up and saw Edward with his eyes narrowed at me. I saw my reflection in his eyes. Death was intent in my glare. I couldn't help it. The one person who had the power to change my life, and she walks away because she's _scared_. One word: PATHETIC.

"I have to go," I said in a low voice, quickly standing up. He stood up after me.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I ignored him and started walking away. He followed me and I wanted to scream "FUCK OFF!" at him. I kept my temper stable so that no casualties would be taken.

"I'll walk you back to the dorm. It's late. Curfew is ten," as if I already didn't know. What does he take me for? A moron?

"Fine. I don't care." I picked up my pace, but he kept up with me easily. We trudged through the thick snow and the cold wind. He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut until we reached the dorm.

"Why did you ask that? Why did my answer make you angry?" Stupid, stupid question Edward.

I spun around and he stopped. "She had a choice. Rosalie made a choice that day. She chose to ignore the situation so she could return to her perfect world with no worries. She could've made a difference and she walked away. I could tell that when I met her she wasn't the type of person to get scared off so easily. I thought she was going to tear my head off when she found out I got the room she wanted. I knew right then and there she could've saved a life that day. It just _pisses me off_ that she can live such a perfect and carefree life after that. She has no conscience whatsoever if she can still live like this. But what is so frustratingly confusing is that she hasn't changed once in four years. She looks exactly the same. I remember her as if I had a picture and looked at it every night before I went to bed. I never forgot about her. It wasn't just someone that looked like her, it was _her._ I hope she can defend herself, 'cause hell is about to come her way." I stormed off, leaving him in complete and utter shock.

I got to my room and did a dive onto the ginormous bed. I thought through the events of the day. I explained to Edward about my life with Charlie and that I knew there was a mystery to his sister and left him with a threat. Interesting, but right now, I wanted comfort.

First I texted Jake.

_Fencing worked. I made new friends: Emmett and Jasper. Emmett is funny and Jasper is really good at fencing…I kicked his ass though. Miss u. night._

I thought that was good enough. I knew I didn't need to talk to Jake right now, so I called the one person I knew would support me with anything. I fished through my contacts, and tapped a familiar face. The phone rang a couple of times.

"Hello?" A husky voice answered.

I hesitated. "Dad?"

Silence followed. "Bella? Is that you?"

I laughed and a few tears broke free. "Yeah. Surprise!" The surprise was a little delayed.

"Bella! How are you? I haven't heard from you in so long. Where have you been?" Question overload!

"I know it's been a long time. I'm sorry. I just escaped hell recently, so I'm just adjusting. I just really missed you and thought I'd give a call." I was crying. I was so happy to finally talk to him again. It was great to hear his voice.

"I'm glad you did Bells. What do you mean you just escaped? How'd you manage that?" He sounded as relieved as I was.

I sniffed and wiped a tear. "Well it's kind of a long story, so I'll break it down for you. Renee got sick of me and hated me hanging out with my friends that she didn't approve of—in other words didn't increase her retarded social status—and so she sent me to this bogus boarding school in Ithaca. It's really not that bad, I've made a few friends already, but I just miss having familiar faces around."

"Renee did what?" He was angry (He is also in on the fact I don't consider her my mother). "She never informed me about this," he mumbled to himself. "Are you alright? You sounded like you were crying." He was always concerned for my emotional health. That's why he called me daily when Renee first took me away. I'm not sure if it was Renee or Charlie, but the calls came less often.

I sniffed again. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just really missed you is all. You shouldn't worry about me here. It's not that bad. I'm taking an art class, fencing, I even started riding again." I was speaking with Dad again; I wanted the topic to be happy, not sappy.

"That's great Bells!" He sounded happy. "Do you have a good horse?" During my riding days, I tried to educate him as much as possible on horses. He caught onto a few things.

"I have a great horse. Her name is Aphrodite. Isn't that a pretty name? She's a white Arabian. Apparently the kids who go here are completely loaded, and their parents donate so the school can afford those types of things. But want to hear something strange? My friend Edward's horse is a black stallion. Her name is Claire."

"Well that's bizarre. That's quite a coincidence." Yeah. No kidding. "Listen, are you sure you don't want me to get you out of there? You know you don't have to go back to Renee and Phil. There is always room for you here Bells," he really wanted me back.

"Nah, it's alright. I actually like it here. I haven't even spoken to Renee or Phil since the night before I left. I don't even have to worry about seeing them any more. You would laugh at what I did to avoid them. Jake and I did the funniest, stupidest things to piss them off or escape their hawk eyes."

"Language Bells, and I believe you. I would've done just about anything to escape their grasp. From our early daily calls, it was pretty much a living hell. I have to get back to my shift, I'm sorry Bells. You know you are always welcome here. Just give me a call."

I was disappointed that our call didn't last longer, but he needed to work. "Okay Dad. I understand. Call anytime. I missed hearing your voice everyday. I think it would brighten my day." Honestly, it would brighten my day even if it were a day in Hell's House.

"Anytime Bells. I missed you." He sounded relieved. I felt relieved, too. It had been way too long. I could describe this feeling as being able to breathe again after suffocating for a long time.

"I missed you too Dad. I'll call again soon," I promised him.

"You better." He tried to make it sound like a threat, but it sounded more like a joke.

"I love you," I said into the phone.

I could hear a reluctant sigh. "I love you too Bells. Bye now."

"Bye." I heard a click and knew that he had hung up.

I felt my shriveled heart regain some of its original shape. It felt nice to have someone tell me "I love you." The fake "I love you"s always came from Him. That's what caused my heart to shrivel in the first place. If you took a picture of my heart before that phone call, I'm sure it would've looked like a raisin: dark and dry. It will take a lot more to heal this shattered heart, but now I don't think it's impossible. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

My cell phone rang again. When I looked at the caller ID, the bliss and happiness was pushed aside by a plague of misery. Then I realized: I am far from rock bottom.

EPOV

Rosalie has always had a temper. That's why Emmett is the only one that sticks around her. He is the only one able to tolerate her outbursts. It was when she blew out on all of us that we had issues.

Rosalie stormed into the house with the look of intended murder on her face. She walked stiffly over to the living room where we were all relaxing until she blew in.

"Look what cat dragged in," I said by way of a "pleasant" greeting.

She glowered at me, and then turned to Carlisle, who was absorbed in a thick novel. "Carlisle!" he looked up to give her his full attention. "Someone needs to get rid of that new girl! That wretched thing has gone too far. First she takes 'the Dancer', and then she meets me and straight up calls me a bitch! She doesn't deserve to go to school here."

_Newsflash! You are one, _I thought. I ignored her thoughts and zoned out so I could think about Bella some more. But my thoughts were interrupted by Emmett's roar of laughter. I looked over the couch to find him in the foyer with Jasper.

"Jazz, I can't believe she beat you! Even if you were holding back, no one has ever been able to defeat you. Except me of course," he added. Jasper was standing next to Emmett, with a look that said he needed a tank. Even I couldn't help but smile.

Jasper stopped and looked at all of us, then focused on Rosalie. I could read his mind and feel the hostility radiating from Rose.

Emmett rolled his eyes at Rose and went over to hug her. Sick thoughts smothered her conscience and all traces of anger vanished. Even though hearing their nasty thoughts combined was unbearable, having to deal with Rose's insignificant little life dramas was even worse.

But knowing Emmett, he would pry for the answer so he could be in on it.

"So what were you so angry about Rose?" He just couldn't leave it alone. He released her and I rolled my eyes as her fury returned with a vengeance.

She turned back to Carlisle. "What gives her the right, Carlisle? I haven't even met her before. She stared at me for all of fifteen seconds and she's already low enough to start name-calling! This is ridiculous!" Her arms flailed in irritated gestures.

_Yes, you are, _I heard Alice think. I grinned at Alice. No one except me knew of her great sense of humor. Emmett smiled as he thought violent thoughts for whoever was calling Rosalie these rude names.

"Who was it Rose? You know I'll find a way to get them kicked out. Framed murders, possession of drugs, take your pick," he smiled mischievously. He was so immature. The one time I told him this he responded with a scoff and "maturity is over-rated." Keep telling that to yourself Emmett.

"I'm pretty sure her name is Bella Swan. I heard Desai and her gay pal blabbing about her in the commons. They talk about her like she's a hot topic for gossip. We know someone thinks highly of herself," she scoffed, and my anger rolled off my tongue. This would be the most appropriate moment for the T-shirt that says "BEWARE: Mouth works faster than brain!"

Emmett was flabbergasted. His mouth hung open as if he were trying to catch flies. "Rosalie!" Her vain eyes flew over to me. "I believe the only one thinking highly of herself here is you, for one. Bella thinks of herself as insignificant and lowly. She keeps to herself, hiding away in her room most of the day, hates company, and she didn't even want to come here in the first place. You say she thinks highly of herself? Take a good look at her arms and then you can tell me who thinks highly," I snarled. I didn't mean for my words to come out so menacingly, but what she said was an utter lie and I wouldn't tolerate it. "Haven't you ever been told not to kill a mockingbird?" I muttered so she could hear.

Esme interceded the fight. "Edward," she chastised me. "I'm not saying you are right or wrong, but please don't speak so angrily to Rosalie. She doesn't know as much about Bella as you do."

"What do you mean by 'take a look at her arms', Edward?" Alice was thinking of the same thing I was.

I sighed. "I'm not sure if you can. She always has them covered, but I can always smell the fresh blood," I murmured just low enough to hear. She doesn't do it very often now, but once or twice a week I'll smell a new cut.

Emmett and Jasper looked at each other. Jasper spoke first. "I didn't smell anything today, and I'm more sensitive to the scent of blood. She doesn't seem like the type if you think about it. She is very energetic. When she walked in the gym, all I could feel was an overwhelming wave of anger. It fused out after I let her beat me, but I never once felt despair or misery come from her.

Everyone turned to Rose, knowing where Bella's anger spike came from. Now I know what she was talking about at the great hall. She hated Rosalie. I had a very dark feeling that Rosalie was the woman who callously left the girl in a miserable state. Even worse, I had a feeling Bella was the terrified girl.

"It was you," I whispered. I gazed absentmindedly at Rosalie.

"What are you talking about?" She snapped.

It took all my restraint not to growl at her. Esme would not approve. A glare formed on my face instead. "You are so pathetic Rosalie," thoughts were on the up rise, but I bolted forward with my speech. "You are a vampire for God's sake!" My volume went up a couple of notches. "You could've helped that girl that day in Texas, but one glare from a human male and you walk away. What? Were you afraid he would hurt you? You know Emmett would never let that happen to you. You were probably the only one that noticed her misery and you didn't do a damn thing about it." My voice grew so low, it sounded like a growl. So much for that restraint.

"What the hell are you talking about Edward?" she retorted. That sparked my anger.

I leaped up from my seat and threw my arms up in frustration. "For the love of all that is holy! In Texas, four years ago you wanted to go shopping with Emmett for another wedding band when you saw that girl in the jewelry shop," her scowl disappeared as the memory hit her. "You could've come to Carlisle for advice, you could've gone to the police, but you didn't do a damned thing. What the hell were you thinking Rosalie?"

I almost felt sorry for her she looked so guilty. Almost. Then she admitted, "It's dangerous for us to get involved in human affairs. It could expose," UGH! She didn't get it!

"Did you ever think about giving an anonymous tip to the police?" I interrupted. "You know you can do that! I think that you were just too caught up in your own little paradise to realize someone else's problems. Did it ever occur to you that that girl could be Bella?" they all stood frozen in shock. Rosalie was thinking of the overwhelming guilt that smothered her conscience. Jasper left the room it was so bad, and Alice followed him. She already knew. Carlisle put down his book, and Esme's mouth was wide open. Emmett was completely out of it. I felt Carlisle's hand on my shoulder.

"If what you're saying is true, you got your work cut out for you."

* * *

**Hell yeah he does! Rosalie was just being selfish, vain, and ignorant. as one wise man used to always say *cough-mr. magnuson* "Ignorance," -points to word on chalk board. "root word: IGNORE." whenever someone didn't listen, he would shout out "IGNORANCE!"**

**I'm pretty sure Rose has a little more work to do than Edward though. He shouldn't have to pay for his sister's mistakes...right?**


	7. Chapter 7

BPOV

Finding out where rock bottom is could possibly be _the_ most excruciating experience of my life. The hurt never seems to wear off and every time I thought I reached the bottom, the hole manages to get deeper. I have become very good friends with the bathroom floor and reacquainted with my sharp buddy. It's not a pleasant way to achieve solace, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Wrapping my wrists with fresh gauze and wiping the blood off my arms, I feel like bliss has wrapped me in a safety blanket. I feel like that at this moment, nothing can hurt me. My light headedness rid Him, Rosalie, Edward, Renee, Jake…everything. I didn't have to think about a thing.

I put away my stock and trade and lay down on the cold bathroom floor. Closing my eyes, I can feel the cold, numbness, and emptiness completely envelope me. Even with my eyes closed, the world was moving and whirling all around me. There became no such thing as reality, only my spinning world and the comfort it brought. A therapist once asked me how it feels to cut myself; I told her I'll try again and get back to her. The truth was, though, I couldn't describe it without having three orgasms: there was no way in hell I was explaining it to her. It's simply impossible. The closest I could ever come to was it made me feel empty.

God, if only I could lie on this floor for days without having to worry. Actually, it wouldn't be terrible if I lied here for the rest of my life. I wouldn't have given a shit.

Music. I needed music to make this feeling complete. Thankfully, my phone was within my pathetic reach. I slid my hand over to my phone, which was thrown next to the tub in my haste to feel relief. I grabbed in with my tremulous hands and brought it into my sparkling vision. Rolling through my artists, I found Breaking Benjamin's "Breath" and tapped it. The rock music filled my ears and it's dark lyrics flowed through me, becoming a part of me. The line, "I don't mind falling to pieces, count me in," made me smile and, not for the first time, I wanted to marry the singer. We were destined to be soul mates: that's all I can figure. There is no way he can write so many songs that relate to me and not be made for me. Note-to-self: get backstage passes and ask him to marry me.

Through my haze, I heard a faint knocking noise. I ignored the distraction and kept listening, letting the dizzies allow me to drift into sleep.

I moved my fingers a little bit—the tingling feeling told me reminded me of my deeds. I didn't bother opening my eyes. The only thing out of place was how warm and comfy I felt. Cautiously, I opened my eyes in slow motion, hoping that I wouldn't find anything surprising next to me.

Nightmares…cutting…accidentally starving myself…but sleep-walking? This was new. The comforter was pulled all the way up over me, my pillow perfectly fluffed, and I had on a clean, long sleeved, red thermal shirt with my black cotton shorts. Wow, I am more doped up when I cut myself than I thought. I might actually have to get that checked out. The last thing I remember was lying on the bathroom floor, Breaking Benjamin blasting from my phone, and I could've sworn I was wearing a blood stained white thermal shirt.

I pushed the strange occurrence aside, even though my suspicions will be far from idle. As the same as every morning, I went to my closet telling myself to just put on whatever you approach first. I found a pair of grey skinny jeans on the floor—grabbed them, a baseball T-shirt was halfway onto a hangar—put in on. On my way out, I found my grey UGGs by my bedroom door and put them on. Not bothering with a coat (I liked the cold/numb feeling), I continued out the door to the gym; I hadn't gotten a workout in a while—and hands-on fighting sounded good.

Thankfully, there was always some trainer in the gym who could help you with the hands-on fighting. This would be my first time trying it, so hopefully it would just be another channel for my anger and energy. Ask my previous opponents (Phil, various jerks, Jake…), I kick ass.

Since school started, it's been harder to avoid people because they're everywhere. Curious and judgemental eyes watch my every move when I'm out in public. Most of the time I pretend not to notice, but other time I want to tell them "take a picture. It will last longer," or , "you see something you like?"

Walking into the gym, I felt like the place turned a little quiet, and the only person who kept jabbering at a normal pace (or what she would consider a normal pace) was Poonum. She and Zach were over on the mats doing some sort of…Yoga? God, it looked like she was trying to reach for the last Doony & Burke bag and it was too far back for her reach…the shelf was right in front of her. Zach seemed more relaxed. He was blowing off the whole thing while sitting in one of those "Ohm," poses with the legs crossed. I liked him.

After I got changed, I was spotted by Chatterbox after a cup of coffee. Poonum came charging up to me.

"Bella! Oh my God, you need to do pilates with me. Zach says if he does any more semi-split stretches his balls are going to split," entirely possible. She looked at me with hopeful eyes. "Please?" Oh God. She was holding her hands together as if she were praying to God…or whoever Indians pray to…

I don't do the puppy dog thing. "Sorry. I've got other plans. I'd thought I'd do some hands-on training today." I apologized again and pushed passed her.

I don't know why they tried so hard with me. I'm a loner. I always have been and most likely always will be a loner. Poonum and Zach were hilarious to watch, but if you hang around them too much you feel like you are trying to squeeze into a circle that's already closed. They don't need anyone besides each other. Who cares if Zach is gay? He's a pretty cool guy!

I didn't want to disappoint her, but I really did just want to get a little training done. I found the floor where the training was done and found (who I think is supposed to be the trainer) just a little ways off, his back facing me, hovering over a book with earplugs in his ears. I stretched to stall time, I didn't want to interrupt him or anything. But I was never one for patience. After a couple of minutes stretching, I got up to tell him to get his ass up.

I tapped him on the shoulder. My breath caught when he turned around. I swear this guy is a stalker. That's the only explanation.

"Bella," Edward looked slightly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

I looked around us to clue him in. "I'm here to work out," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world…which it was. "I was also looking for the hands-on trainer. I've been waiting for him to show up, but I can't find him." I looked around again, praying that the guy showed up and saved me from Edward. I really don't want to talk to him. I totally bitched about his sister last night and I wouldn't put it past him to assume I'm a total bitch myself.

He turned off his iPod and tucked it away, grabbing his gloves. That's never a good sign. "Well," he started, "trainer called in sick today. I just found out myself. Would you like to sparr?" Oh isn't this guy smooth?

Where was Poonum when you needed her? I think I'd like to take up on her offer of pilates right about now. "Um…" no sign of her. No excuse to say no. Damn it. "I guess." I looked back at him; he was studying me.

"Why are you wearing a thermal long sleeve t shirt in a hot gym?" He asked in all curiosity, but I could see a hint of accusation in his eyes. Suspicious bastard.

"I have slow blood circulation and I'm always cold," I explained quickly. "Let's get started." I turned away back to the floor and started putting on my gloves.

I reached the center and turned back around. He was there, waiting patiently for me to start. "What?" I asked in frustration.

There was a smirk playing on his lips. "Enjoy these last few moments. You're going to hurt in the morning," he sounded oh-so confident.

I glared back. "Shut the hell up," and we fought.

He was right. I was in pain. It hurt like hell, I'll tell you. He pinned my ass to the floor so many times, sometimes I swear there's no more ass left. My back hurts like I fell out of a second story window, my hands have callouses, and I have bruises up and down my arms. I must look like a black and blue painting right about now.

"What am I doing wrong?" I asked the ceiling. I was currently pinned to the floor (again) underneath him. Can you say AWKWARD?

"Nothing," the guy wasn't even out of breath! "I've just been doing this longer than you have." I was very aware that he was not moving. He was straddled over me, holding my arms down.

"Want to show me any other moves?" I asked, staring him straight in the eye.

He must've realized what I was referring to, because he moved off of me as if I were on fire. My skin where he touched felt the complete opposite. His touch was freezing. Although what he did was kind of weird, I couldn't help but noticed I _liked_ it. I felt comfortable with him standing over me. The feeling wasn't in an intimate way, but more like he was protecting me…though at the moment he was teaching me and hurting me at the same time.

Afterwards, we went to get drinks. He though I looked a little pale. "You did better than I expected you to," he commented. Whatever!

I gave him a sarcastic glare. "Are you kidding? I just got my ass handed to me."

He smiled. "Practice makes perfect." I'm not sure he meant it in the way I thought he did, so I clarified.

"It looks like you like to pin me down. You want me to practice more of that?" I raised my eyebrows. He didn't blush like I expected him to. Instead he just lost all sense of humor and dropped it.

"You look like you could use some lunch." I never notice when I'm hungry anymore…I haven't really felt much recently…via cutting. The longest I've ever gone without fainting and still maintaining a normal workout schedule was a week. I think I'm pretty close to that mark.

"No thanks. I'm not hungry. I think I'm just going to go back to my dorm and get some work done. I have an essay in English due tomorrow that still needs a few tweaks." I took off my gloves and wiped my forehead of sweat with a small towel.

"Why don't you at least roll your sleeves up? It's hot in here. Even someone with slow blood circulation would feel at least warm in here." Oh, he's one to talk. He didn't break a sweat throughout the entire session! I scoffed at him.

"I don't need to roll up my sleeves. I'm fine." I ignored the fact that he called me back to him and went to go change.

If the guy knew what was best for his mental health, he would keep his nose where it belongs: on his face. Any more snooping and I'll rip it right off. I'm getting sick and tired of his stupid little accusations, they're getting old. Even Jake had a hard time adjusting to the reality. Though after about a week of knowing, it all came to an end. Jake made it very clear that no one fucked with me. Edward should learn that lesson, too. It might do him some good. He could keep his nose and his sanity. It took Jake a week to get his back, and that's because he cared about me. I can't imagine the damage it would do to Edward…if I'm lucky it will be terminal.

I walked out, checking my messages and texting Jake, telling him lies about how I'm completely fine and he shouldn't worry about me so much. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Edward came running up. "Do you need to go to the library?" He asked. Strange question.

It was so weird I was confused by it. "Uh, what are you talking about? I don't need to go to the library. I need to get back to my dorm so I can work on that English essay," I attempted to ignore him again and walked out of the gym. He still followed me.

Points for persistence. "Do you want to take the horses for a run?" Okay, either this guy was that desperate for me to hang out with him, or he was trying to distract me from something. I was going to find out.

"Okay Edward," I stopped and turned to face him. "What do you want?" I was really irritated right now. "I told you I have an essay due tomorrow that needs to get done. I have no time for your idle little shenanigans." I glanced impatiently at my watch to prove my point.

He looked troubled and a little irritated himself, as if I was supposed to be getting some secret message.

"You can work on your essay in the li—" but his words were cut short by my "Josey" ringtone by Hey Monday. I instinctively looked at my phone, but it was a mistake. I knew I didn't want to be here.

"Uh, I have to go. Now. I told you I don't have time. I'll see you later, okay?" I wanted to get out of here before my voice started shaking… and before my body starts acting on it's own.

He looked concerned. Ugh, this guy. Tootles! "Let's go to the library," He took my arm. I tried to pull it away, but he wouldn't let go.

I was a little astonished with his rash behavior. I always thought of him as a calm composure type guy. "Let go!" But he never did.

We were standing outside the library and he led me inside.

"What the hell Edward?" I hissed. A couple of kids turned to stare, but I kept my eyes on Edward.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "No. I just got dragged away by some moron who forced me to go to a library against my will. I think this qualifies as harassment," I threatened. I finally yanked my arm out of his. I was jittery now. It'd been too long with the shakes and making it to my dorm would be a challenge. Thankfully I knew of a couple of places.

I ran out of the library. Waiting to see if Edward was following wasn't an option. I ran all the way behind the old abandoned gym a couple of minutes away, much closer than my dorm.

My breaths came in heavy waves and blood was pulsing in my ears. The text was plain and clear. _I'll see you soon._ What kind of sick joke is this? How can he torture someone who he has sworn to never hurt again? This was beyond insane.

I dug frantically through my bag, finding my pretty little case and my buddy. I pulled him out, being too lazy to do my normal ritual and just began slicing.

The relief came instantaneously. I could feel my pulse going down and the red I was seeing was quickly disappearing, turning into sparkles that made me feel like I was staring at the night sky. I put the evidence back in my case before I would pass out and forget about it. I was in a rush, so I sloppily wrapped fresh gauze on my arm. I ran out of room on my wrist.

I had finished putting everything back where it belongs where I finally rested on the very cold hard top. The cold, the tingling in my arm, made my entire body feel numb. _Here it comes,_ I thought. My favorite part. I turned my head to the side in relaxation. I laid my body up against the wall of the gym and started breathing normally again. I opened my eyes again one more time.

To my horror, I saw Edward Cullen standing just around the corner, looking sad more than anything. I was too out of it to respond, so I just let myself close my eyes again and hoped I'd drift to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update! The holidays have kept me busy entertaining family and school has become a living hell. I made this chapter a little longer than intended to attempt to satisfy you. I will try to be better with my updates from now on. I've had a lot of time to get my priorities straight and writting stories is high up on the list. Please tell me if you like this new addition to the story!**

**Ellipsis Chapter 8**

* * *

EPOV

There is no way I'm going to be able to focus on anything besides Bella today. Bella was furious, distressed, and isn't going to be too keen on the idea of seeing me again. Going to class doesn't appeal to me at the moment. I might be able to convince Emmett and Jasper to a wrestle in the woods, or maybe take Claire for a ride.

Alice is the only one with a chance of getting close to her. The only problem with Alice is that she has her own agenda for the weekend: shopping. Don't get me wrong, she is very caring, though she is very careful with staying out of human affairs. Sometimes she wants to help so bad it hurts…but she must going shopping _every_ weekend. You can't change her rituals. She may want to help, but she can't resist the new fashions.

"Alice, could you just stay close enough so that I can hear your thoughts? It might help to know how she will react. I've been watching her as much as possible, but I could use a little help." Esme, I, and Alice were all sitting in her classroom. Esme had some papers to finish up and Alice is forcing her to go shopping with her. Poor Esme.

Alice gave me a tired look. "I'll help you all that I can. You know that I care for Bella, too, but staying close is difficult since Manhattan is over an hour away from here. If I see anything, I'll text you. Just keep your phone on, okay?" _This is getting extremely irritating Edward. I'm not a fucking portable. Give me a break._ That was my fault. I'm always asking her if Bella is alright. Under a daily basis I ask Alice to stay within mind-reach so if she sees something that Bella is doing, she could tell me. She didn't get to go shopping yesterday.

"I'm sorry Alice," I said earnestly. "She's just too unpredictable. She gets a phone call and then she goes off. I'm not sure if it's a text or a message," Alice interrupted me with a vision.

I was looking at a phone…Bella's phone. I could make out the number, but there was no name. It was a text message. That explains why she doesn't have to pick up the phone to panic.

The vision disappeared and I could see Esme. She looked up from her desk at both of us. "What was it?" She put down her pen and focused her attention.

Alice and I answered at the same time. "It was a text message." Alice looked at me to give a warning.

"Where will she be today?" I asked.

Alice shut her eyes. I saw the gym. It was crowded. I'd never been there before, it was terribly boring, but humans needed to stay in shape. Bella stepped onto a padded floor that looked made for wrestling, or some sort of hands-on training. She was searching for something or someone.

"Who is she looking for?" I asked Alice. She just shrugged. _I don't know. You saw what I saw. The person she's looking for probably isn't there._

I shook my head. "I'm going there before she gets there. Maybe I should apologize for Rose, but she also knows that she hasn't changed."

Alice shook her head. "She isn't going to say anything. Something happened last night and she forgot about it. Just don't bring up Rosalie, alright?" She turned to Esme. "Are you almost done? Stores open soon and I want to get to Manhattan soon. There are so many shops and so little time," she was growing jumpier by the minute. Esme noticed this too.

_For the love for all that is holy, I raised a shop-a-holic._ She shook her head and I laughed. Alice gave me her best death glare. "Alright, let's go," Esme picked up her keys and was putting on her coat; one of the props for our human charade. We don't get cold.

"Finally!" Alice breathed in relief.

"Tell me if anything happens," I reminded. She just rolled her eyes and we all walked out.

I headed straight for the gym. I didn't know when Bella would be there, but this way I'll be there when she arrives. I was dressed appropriately; a pair of sweats and a short sleeved t shirt. Moving over towards the floor I saw in Alice's vision, I found a punching bag that looked particularly appealing.

Not long after I took my position, Bella walked in. She was on the other side of the gym, but the wind from outside blew her wonderful scent in my direction. Thirst burned in the back of my throat, and it took all my restraint to ignore it. I heard her footsteps fall quietly towards the floor. Then I heard thoughts of the other students.

_It's that Bella girl…heard that she flaunts her dad's money…going out with Edward Cullen…bitched out Rosalie…anti-social…thinks she's too good for us,_ the thoughts were all terrible. How could they think of her that way? She didn't say anything to anyone, really, so how could they come to all these preposterous conclusions about her?

A gym instructor walked over to me. There was nothing special about her; she was dressed in Nike sweats and a short-sleeved under armor shirt. Her thick brown hair was tied back in a tight pony-tail. I got a little angry, she distracted me from Bella.

"The defense instructor is sick today, there's no practice. So if you're waiting for him, don't hold your breath." She walked away as quickly as she came.

I plugged my iPod in my ears to get rid of the buzzing thoughts around me. This made me look inconspicuous. I didn't want to look like I'd been waiting here for her.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. The touched burned, telling me who it was. Only one person could give me that sensation.

"Bella," I exclaimed, turning around. I pretended to be surprised. The stunned look on her face turned amusing. "What are you doing here?" I saw the wit in her eyes turning.

"I'm here to work out," she made it sound as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was, but I just needed to start the conversation. "I was also looking for the hands-on trainer. I've been waiting for him to show up, but I can't find him." She looked around the gym. I could see her eyes, begging for some sort of distraction. Her discomfort was plain on her features.

I turned off my iPod to be polite and acknowledge what she said. I grabbed a pair of leather, fingerless gloves that I had stowed away in my back pocket. They were just props, but we always had to keep up the human charade. "Well," I started, "trainer called in sick today. I just found out myself. Would you like to spar?" I could see the sarcasm in her eyes, and then she was wishing for the distraction again.

"Um," she looked defeated. She was wearing clothes that concealed almost every inch of her skin. Her ivory colored thermal shirt blended in with her skin. Her thumb went through a hole at the bottoms of her sleeves. "I guess."

"Why are you wearing a long sleeve thermal t shirt in a hot gym?" I asked curiously. I couldn't tell if it was really hot, but even the students who walked in here with sweats on took them off almost right away. She scowled at me.

"I have slow blood circulation and I'm always cold," she explained quickly. "Let's get started." She abruptly turned around and started walking towards the floor. I got up and followed her. She stood in the center of the floor, putting on her gloves. I stood behind her, waiting patiently for her to turn around. The fitted shirt emphasized her beautiful curves, making it very hard for me to focus on anything else. When she turned around, she looked annoyed.

"What?" she demanded. Her tone sparked my offensive side.

"Enjoy these last few moments," I told her, a smile playing on my lips. "You are going to hurt in the morning." I knew she'd hate me for holding back (too much), so I'll just make sure she is challenged. I could never seriously hurt her, though. I'd never think of it.

Her eyes narrowed. "Shut the hell up," her fist flew at me with astonishing speed for a human. I took her down a couple of times, just to show her I wasn't going easy on her, but it was relatively easy to bring her to the floor. She was so light; she couldn't be any more than ninety pounds.

I pinned her down for the twenty-fifth time when she finally signaled a truce. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing," I told her honestly. She has perfect form, and the moves are all correct, she's just not fast enough. "I've just been doing this longer than you have." She stared at me with those deep brown eyes that were more like a deep abyss. Her breathing slowed, but her heart rate stayed high.

"Want to show me any other moves?" She asked seductively. I realized our position would be considered illicit. I jumped off of her, giving her some space. I realized that I didn't mind us like that. It didn't feel intimate; it felt more like I was protecting her. I wanted to protect her. It felt right.

We took a break for drinks, or she did. I didn't get much of a work out. The silent tension was growing uncomfortable.

"You did better than I expected you to," I commented. She looked up from her drink, dubious.

"Are you kidding? I just got my ass handed to me." She returned to her water.

She didn't know that I actually put a little effort into blocking her attacks. She was very strong, despite her fragile appearance. She has speed; something I didn't have until I turned. "Practice makes perfect." She doesn't have enough faith in her abilities.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "It looks like you like to pin me down. You want me to practice more of that?" I heard the double meaning, and was taken by surprise. She looks like someone who would be sensitive about that topic. Well, I have been off on my theories about her. I thought wisely and dropped the subject.

"You look like you could use some lunch." She is as pale as me and thinner than Alice; now that's saying something. A strange look crossed her face: her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes appeared to be in deep thought.

Then she shook her head. "No thanks. I'm not hungry. I think I'm just going to go back to my dorm and get some work done. I have an essay in English due tomorrow that still needs a few tweaks." She put down the water and took off her gloves, grabbing a towel to wipe the perspiration from her forehead. The heat took its toll on her, but she still refused to even roll up her sleeves.

"Why don't you at least roll your sleeves up? It's hot in here. Even someone with slow blood circulation would feel at least warm in here." I don't know why I keep trying. Maybe it's because I believe if she can admit to her problem, she could find a way to solve it. Maybe she needs someone to confide in. I know it's wrong, but I'm hoping that I'm that person.

She scoffed at me and put down her cup. "I don't need to roll up my sleeves. I'm fine." She turned around and went to go change. I cursed myself for making her upset.

"Wait," I called after her, but she didn't turn around.

I was about to give up when my phone rang. I saw Alice's name on the display screen and I picked up.

"Alice?" She never called when she was shopping. She knew my size and she doesn't give a damn whether or not I like the clothes; I have to wear them.

"Edward," she starting talking fast and I tuned in. "I saw Bella. I don't know the specifics, but you need to get that phone away from Bella. In about ten minutes that phone is going to go off, and so is Bella. I don't know if she's going to be able to recover from this one," her voice grew panicked.

"How much time do I have left?" My protective nature took control.

"You have nine minutes. Hurry." She didn't have to tell me twice. Just as I put the phone away, Bella walked out of the dressing room. I accosted her in a casual manor.

"Do you need to go to the library?" It was the first question to come to mind.

Her face became contorted in what could only be confusion. "Uh, what are you talking about? I don't need to go to the library. I need to get back to my dorm so I can work on that English essay," She turned around and started walking out of the gym. I thought of all the things that could make her forget about the damned phone. I quickly rushed after her.

She looked startled when I caught up to her again. "Do you want to take the horses for a run?" An irritated expression crossed her face. She clenched her eyes shut for a moment before sighing and stopping in front of me.

"Okay Edward," she was clearly angered by my interference with her evening activities. Ones that I did not approve of at all. But who am I to critique her lifestyle? I suck blood. "What do you want? I told you I have an essay due tomorrow that needs to get done. I have no time for your idle little shenanigans." She glanced at her watch impatiently. If she started tapping her foot, it would've been more amusing. Right now, I didn't have much time left. In fact—

"You can work on your essay in the li—," but my words were cut short by her "Josey" ringtone by Hey Monday. I was one second away from grabbing the phone and throwing it to the ground, watching it shatter. I held back, knowing that she'd never speak to me again if I destroyed her phone. When she pulled out her phone, I had to hold onto my hands to stop my better instincts.

Her face, if possible, got paler. I thought she would pass out. Instead, she tried to sound normal. "Uh, I have to go. Now. I told you I don't have time. I'll see you later, okay?" She tried to put as much Bella bravado into her words, but her voice and body trembled with fear…begging for a release.

Letting her go is not an option. Something in my expression made her annoyed. "Let's go to the library," Without hesitation, I grabbed her arm and pulled her along. The damage has been done. I can't let her go until I am sure she is okay. Alice said this one she may not recover from. I couldn't let her do that to herself.

I could tell she was too stunned to speak, but she eventually got her voice back and didn't hold back on the protests. "Let go!"_Not likely_.

We approached the library doors, I pulled her inside. I thought a quiet place would help keep her protests quiet, but to no avail, she started scolding me.

"What the hell Edward?" She hissed. I, vaguely aware of the eyes of others students on us, kept my hold on her arm. If I let her go for more than a second, she would run off. With all this attention, if I went after her, someone would call it in as harassment.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked. If she felt okay, I'd let her go. Or, that's what I'm trying to convince myself of. She would lie to get out of here and find her solace with razors.

She rolled her eyes in a dramatic fashion. "No. I just got dragged away by some moron who forced me to go to a library against my will. I think this qualifies as harassment," I heard a threat in her statement, but I ignored it. She calls it harassment, but I think she knows what I'm trying to do…and is scared.

Without warning, she ripped her arm out of my grasp, taking advantage of my temporary distraction. She turned around and ran out of the library. I had failed her again.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw a text from Alice.

_5 min. bhind old gym, north side._

I'd have to thank Alice later for that. In order not to draw suspicion, I waited sixty seconds before heading out and going after her. It turned out to be the longest sixty seconds of my very long life. It was also the biggest mistake of my life.

I made a bee line for the gym. Because of the students wandering, I couldn't run at my fast pace, which slowed me down considerably. I didn't include that in my time calculations. Even though I ran a little fast for human speed, I still managed to be a little late.

I made it to the abandoned part of the campus, and with no one around, I sprinted for the gym. I was brought to a halt shortly before reaching the corner.

My throat burned with intense desire. I could smell the fresh blood. I had built up restraint for human blood over the years, but this was nearly unbearable. It smelled so sweet, so sweet: a mixture of freesia, roses, and a little bit of pine. The scent smelled wonderful, and the saying "smells good enough to eat" just happened to come to the front of my conscience.

I got a hold of myself and held my breath. This has never been a problem for me, since vampires don't necessarily need to breath, it's just uncomfortable. I grabbed the corner of the building. My silent heart ached when I saw what had happened.

Bella, lying on the ground, her wrists sloppily wrapped with gauze, not even conscious anymore. A pool of blood lied next to her on the concrete. At first, the shock immobilized me. Then my thought process returned to me. I needed to get her out of the cold.

Holding my breath, I walked over to Bella and rolled down her sleeves. I picked her up, and took the deserted route back to her dorm. Her skin held no color, matching mine. This frightened me. She had lost so much blood, and she had no sugar in her bloodstream. She hasn't eaten in days, probably weeks. Her thin frame told me that the moment I saw her. It didn't take long for me to reach the dorm.

Outside her dorm window was a large tree, which proved very easy for me to climb. Very careful not to disturb Bella in her self-inflicted sleep, I pried the window open and hopped in.

Still holding my breath, I laid her gently on the bed, removing her coat from her shoulders, and pulling the covers over her to keep her warm. Goosebumps rose from her skin, most likely from my touch. Walking in the bathroom, shock entered my system again. The stone-tile floor was stained with several dried blood pools. How could she walk in here every day and not want to clean this? How can she stand being in here with reminders of her depression?

That's my mistake. I thought she would've wanted to get better. No, she wanted to remind herself that this is what life is supposed to be for her. Constant reminders that she needs to do this to her to remain sane. What I don't understand is: why not use her other escapes to release the emotions that destroy her? She is a beautiful pianist, her art is exquisite, and she has Jake to confide in. Not to mention that she also is an amazing fencer. She could use any of these things…but she chooses not to. Her mind works in such strange and contorted ways.

I wet a washcloth and returned to tend to Bella. I carefully unwrapped her sloppy job with the gauze; I was astonished with what I found. There could possibly be year's worth of cuts on this wrist alone. You could tell which ones were deep because they were thicker scars, which ones were done in a rush because they were jagged, and which ones were done slowly and painfully. Those ones were long, straight lines and semi-thick. Her scars reminded me so much of Jasper—only his weren't self inflicted.

I wiped away the blood until I could see where the cut started and ended. I followed the pattern and saw that this one was done in a rush. The thin line, jagged and long, reached halfway up her forearm. After I patched up the one arm, I turned to the other one, which started to bleed again.

I could tell this one had been done second. The line was straighter, more precise. She had calmed down some before making the cut. Bella would be horrified that I found out this much about her. When you can see straight through someone, you feel more vulnerable. Maybe she's scared of that.

After I tended to her cuts, I sat down and watched her while she slept. As the night went on, she became more restless. She tossed and turned, trying to push something away. It was when the screaming started that I acted.

"No!" She shrieked. I raced to her bedside and grabbed both of her hands, while she continued to toss. "Go away!" She curled up into a ball, cringing. "Please," she cried, "please, just go away," her voice faltered.

"Bella, shhh, Bella, it's alright. No one is coming after you," but she continued to falter.

"What do you want from me?" She whimpered. She was clearly terrified. A few more cries escaped her, enduring whatever the nightmare was putting her through. Her body jerked every couple of moment, making it look more like shuddering. The strange movements scared me. Whatever was happening in that dream was hurting her.

"Bella," I begged, "please wake up. It's alright." Then the shouting started again.

"Stop it! Please!" Her struggling increased and I held tighter onto her arms.

"Bella!" She rolled over off the bed and onto me. She tried to run. "Bella! Wake up!" I shook her, but the sweat on her arms helped her slip through my grasp. She dove for her purse, knowing where it was. She didn't reach it: I grabbed a hold of her around the waist.

"Let go of me!" She screamed. I couldn't tell if she was awake or not. Her eyes were clenched closed, but the tears still escaped. She was still dreaming.

"No," I said calmly in her ear. "I will not let go. You need to stop this, Bella. Stop fighting," her struggles stopped for a couple moments. She slumped in my arms and her chin sat on her chest.

I felt her stir in my arms again. Once she realized arms were around her, she started screaming, only this time, there were no words. Only screams of terror escaped her lips.

She didn't look back at me; her only goal was to run away. "Bella! Bella, look at me!" I yelled over her screams. She began to thrash in my arms, hoping to escape my grasp. "Bella, just _look at me_." It came out as an order.

I felt her hot tears hit my skin. "No, I can't look at you. Not after what you did," she still tried to escape. If she refused to do it herself, I'd do it for her.

I turned her around to face me. Her struggles and screams stopped all at once. Trembles replaced her thrashing movements.

"Oh, my, God," her voice shook. She collapsed in my arms, and then started to cry. "Oh, God," she whimpered.

I ran my hand over her hair. "Shh, Bella. It's over. Its okay, no one is going to come after you. You are safe."

She shook her head. "Yes, he is. He's not done until he finished what he started. He's going to come after again, and he's not going to be forgiving this time." Her tears increased as she said it. I hugged her closer to me.

"I won't let him. I promise I won't let him near you. But Bella," I turned her face up so I could see it, and her tears stopped momentarily. "Who is _he_?"

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**Bella is sooo busted. She will have a tough time avoiding this one. In this chapter, I tried to emphasize how much Edward is learning about her. I wanted to show you that he is determined to help her, even though his thirst makes it dangerous for him to be around her. And when she is a cutter, her blood is something he will have to get used to, unless he can stop her madness once and for all.**

REVIEW!

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, this chapter was very difficult for me to write. If you didn't notice already, I changed the rating of this story to "M" because of the very illicit scenes. Since it's the start of the new year, I thought I'd give you a longer chapter. But this chapter is very graphic and has very mature content. Beware! If you are one of those people who doesn't like to view the details of lemons, then I suggest you skip over a lot of it. Extreme detail is below this message. So happy new year and enjoy this...lovely chapter of Ellipsis!**

**Chapter 9**

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I could feel arms carrying me, but the wonderful dizziness made me think nothing but happy thoughts. I thought of the roller-coasters at Six Flags Jake and I rode. We got so sick from riding Mr. Freeze right after we ate lunch. My favorite ride would probably be the Titan. That first drop, you feel like you're in zero gravity, nothing but floating. That had to be the best feeling in the world. That's why I cut myself most of the time: you feel nothing but floating.

I didn't hear any breathing, so I assumed it was just the dizziness taking an effect on me. Good. Soon, the dizzies stopped, and a dark sleep consumed me.

I could hardly tell I opened my eyes. The room, too dark, felt wrong. I could hear labored breathing a couple feet away, and I immediately knew who it was. The text message I received earlier haunted me again. I could hear him come closer, and I reflexively cringed away. I have always been strong, but not mentally strong enough to face him. He burned my spirit and stomped on the ashes. He tore me apart, made me feel as if I were nothing. He told me that this is what made him proud: my ability to please him. He told me my mother didn't do as good a job as I did…that made me sick.

"Bella," his seductive and menacing voice came from only a couple feet away. "How nice to see you again," I heard the smile in his voice. I felt a hand touch my cheek, working its way down to my chest, where it rested not-so-lightly. I shivered. "You have grown up." His hands moved lower and lower until he touched…

"No!" I shrieked and pulled away. He climbed onto the bed, and I felt his hand snake up my leg. "Go away!" I said, curling up into a ball so he wouldn't be touching me. "Please just go away," I cried. I felt his hand grab my leg, and his hand worked its way up to my inner thigh, where it stopped.

This couldn't be happening again. "What do you want from me?" I whimpered. I didn't understand why this didn't stop.

His lips were at my ear, and I could feel him pulling at my underwear, working its way down. "You know what I want. I want you to take me inside you, please me like you used to. I'm sure you've learned a trick or two since I let you go a couple of years ago. And if you don't, you know the consequences." Yes I did…all too well. That would never happen again. In a demanding, but gentle voice, he said, "please me." As I always did with him, I did as I was told.

I remember the day I grew the guts to ask him why he did this to me. His answer sickened me. The look on his face…he sincerely thought I knew the reason. "Because you are so much better than your mother. You can please me in ways your mother could never. You are so much more beautiful," he would brush my hair and I'd shiver.

I got up off of the bed to let him watch like he always wanted me to. I only wore a silk night dress that barely reached mid-thigh with lacy black lingerie; one of his gifts. I slowly slipped off the night dress, and let the dress slip to the floor. His greedy lips were already on me. I could feel his tongue on my stomach, kissing every inch of me, declaring my body his. Trying to ignore the sickeningly wonderful sensations it gave me, I continued removing what little clothing I had on. Just as slowly, I reached behind my back and unclasped the bra. His fingers slipped under it, flicked off the bra, and clutched my breasts. I was only human, so of course my nipples went hard. I hated myself for acknowledging how wonderful it felt. His hands messaged my breasts and he felt my nipples stiffen more. A moan of pure pleasure escaped my lips, and the satisfied man was now _very_ happy.

"God, you are so beautiful," he murmured between kisses, now moving up to my very hard nipples. This is where I always loose resistance. No one ever called me beautiful. It has always been, "freak" or "outcast." I sank down onto the bed, and let him explore my matured body. His lips sweetly, and aggressively at the same time, caressed my breasts with kisses. I couldn't help but enjoy the feeling. Another moan came out, only this time it was louder. This pleased him, oh so much. His hands trailed down my sides and curves until he came to my thong strings. I was too focused on his lips feasting on my breasts to really feel them slip down and off me entirely, but I felt his firm length graze my inner thigh. God, if this was a man I actually loved, this would be the most amazing sex ever.

His lips finally left my breasts, and I felt his firm length gently touch my clit. Me gasping, he finally entered me; more like shoved. He was never gentle here. I teased him for too long with my strip, and now his impatience consumed him. His thumb reached down and played with my clit and, oh God, did it feel good. It sent a shiver of pleasure through my body. My nipples went so hard, they hurt. He knew how to push the right buttons.

Then, the most infuriating thing happened. He shoved at an angle that hit just the right spot. My clit involuntarily clutched around his length, and I came. God, it felt amazing. The amazing feeling coming from my center consumed me and I moaned with pleasure. My moans triggered his orgasm, and I felt my back arch off of the bed, practically begging him to come harder. I clutched my own breasts, making my body beg for more. He appeared to be entertained. I saw the lust in his eyes, and his hands moved mine aside and grasped my rack, tightening and loosening his grasp every time he pulled in and out.

His voice went coarse. "My God, how are you so damn beautiful?" I smiled. He called me beautiful. His lips were everywhere. I could feel his pulsing length moving its way in and out. Something told me that this should've stopped. He shoved too hard, and I cried out in pain.

"Stop it, please!" I cried. For once, he listened, but the abuse didn't stop there. He pulled himself out and moved down south. His mouth sucked on my clit, and I felt his tongue snake inside me. My fight was just about over when a voice entered my head. It didn't sound like my conscience.

"Bella!" The voice shouted in my head. "Please wake up," the voice begged. Wake up? The words made no sense. His tongue snaked inside me again and I took the opportunity to attempt an escape. I shot backwards, using the strength I had in my arms. His hands held tight onto my thighs.

"Stop it, please!" I saw his eyes, and I knew I was in trouble. I increased my efforts to escape his tenacious hands. I thrashed and soon his grasp loosened on me. I rolled off the bed, hoping that he wouldn't follow suit. To my increasing horror, he did.

The voice appeared in my head again. "Bella! Bella, wake up!" The voice screamed in my head. I saw the disguised case and I knew how I'd wake up. I heard Him get off the bed and I made a bee line for the case, only to feel his arms grab a hold of me, tightly. I screamed. I could feel his length come threateningly close to my center, I tried thrashing to get out of his arms.

"Let go of me!" I screamed. But to no avail, his grip got tighter. I thought he was about to squeeze the life out of me. If that's what will rid me of this torture, so be it. I thought I was done with this years ago. I had his word that he would never do this to me ever again, yet here was, putting me through the same torture. I should've known better than to believe anything that came out of his mouth…even at gunpoint.

His voice sounded menacing. "No," his seductive voice said, "I will not let go. You need to stop this, Bella. Stop fighting," I heard the threat in his tone, and I stopped fighting. He entered me again, and I passed out.

When I woke up, I could actually see the floor. There was light in the room. I found myself in my dorm room again. I tried to stand up, but the arms were still around me. I started screaming again, this time still fighting. I used all my strength, but still no result.

The voice yelled at me. "Bella! Bella, look at me!" I could barely hear the voice over my screams. How could he ask me to do that? After everything he has done, he wants to torture me even more by forcing me to look at him. Once again, he demanded, "Bella, just _look at me_."

My arms felt sore, it hurt to move. "No, I can't look at you. Not after what you did," hot tears poured down my cheeks. This torture would last forever. I can't escape it. That was, until, I felt my body being turned around. I thought I would be facing the green eyes of the devil, but instead, I met warming, concerned, and panicked eyes. They were the strange eyes of Edward Cullen.

My whole entire body started to tremble. It had all been a dream. Edward witnessed it all. "Oh, my, God," my voice shook. Edward saw everything. He saw me behind the gym, probably carried me back to my dorm, and witnessed one of my wild nightmare fits. I collapsed into his arms, starting to cry. "Oh, God," my years of secrets, of sneaking, all ended with Edward. I just cried into his shirt, letting him hold me.

His hand ran over my hair, trying to soothe me. "Bella. It's over. Its okay, no one is going to come after you. You are safe." He spoke just above a whisper, trying to calm my hysterics. Nothing could. Not after that text message…

"Yes, he is. He's not done until he finished what he started. He's going to come after me again, and he's not going to be forgiving this time." I cried harder as I took in the truth. He's coming. He's not going to let me slip through his fingers like last time. Last time he had a gun to his head and had no choice but to say yes. This time, he will get his revenge.

Edward's arms tightened around me, rocking me back and forth. "I won't let him. I promise I won't let him near you. But Bella," his angelic voice turned serious, but gentle at the same time. Then he asked the worst possible question I would ever have to answer. "Who is _he_?"

I stared at him with the blankest expression on my face. My instinct reaction to evade the question is to get up and walk away, but he will never take no for an answer. He would chase me, and part of me loved that he would.

I sat up and wrapped my hands around my legs, curling them up against me. I rested my forehead on my knees, trying to think up a good answer. His hands started to rub circles on my back, trying to make this any easier for me. Too bad it didn't.

"Bella, who was hurting you?" He whispered. His voice was so alluring, I couldn't help it. He made me feel so calm, but I was still scared out of my mind to say anything. I shook my head, trying to tell him that I couldn't say. He still didn't give up. "Bella, you can trust me. It's okay to tell me, I promise." Promises meant nothing to me anymore. "Please, you can trust me," trust is all that I needed.

I moved my lips, but nothing came out. I felt Edward take my hands in his cold ones, and I looked up. His eyes were so kind and gentle. I felt like I could trust them. The words just tripped off the end of my tongue. "My step-father, Phil Dwyer." My mouth shut so quick my teeth clacked together. The tears were already falling, and my lips trembled. Edward simply wiped away each one.

His expression didn't change; he still held the calm and caring eyes. "What happened?" Oh, God. How in hell am I supposed to tell him that? That would officially be the most embarrassing moment of my life. I especially couldn't tell him that I enjoyed the feeling…sometimes.

I stood up and tried to walk away. I still had my boots and everything on; I could still get out of here. Only I didn't. Edward grabbed my arm before I had the chance to get two feet closer to the door. I whirled around to face his now determined face. His navy blue v-neck sweater had been soaked with my tears. I didn't want to make eye contact. "What did he do to you, Bella?" He demanded.

"You don't want to know, and I can't tell you," I told him honestly.

"Humor me." I gave him a pleading expression, and his face softened. He sighed and closed his eyes. "What will it take for you to tell me? This isn't going to get any better unless you let me help you."

I thought back to when I told Jake. Jake, like Edward, had busted me behind the school. He didn't freak out like Edward; he calmly took a hold of my hands and asked me, "What happened?" Phil had just abused me that school night, so I was particularly traumatized. He didn't usually do it to me on school nights, but my mother had made him angry that night. Also, Jake was the first person to ever really notice. Other kids knew, but didn't acknowledge. Jake cared about me, and proved it when he finally brought it to an end. The only difference between now and then was the fact that I was on the brink of suicide. This happened to be just a minor degree different.

"Nothing can make me better," I said, shaking my head. "No one can help me." I turned back around, but Edward didn't let go.

"No one can help you because you won't let them." His persistence really pissed me off. Normally when I say back off, people do.

"I refuse to burden you with the truth! Why do you think I'd ever do that to you? Is that the kind of person you really think I am? I don't run to someone else for them to solve my problems. I can take care of myself!" Edward finally let go of my hand, but I didn't move. For some reason, I wanted to hear his answer.

A sad smile appeared on his lips. He took a step closer to me, and I still didn't move. "Bella, you don't have to battle this by yourself. People can help you." I wanted so much to believe him, I really did. But because this started all over again, even after it was established that it wouldn't, I lost faith.

"You know, I used to believe that, too." I walked over to my purse, Edward stiffened, and I wondered why. He seemed to relax when I pulled out my cell phone, but I didn't. I found more messages.

Jake:

_6 pm— r u ok? If u r sleeping, call me wen u wake up._

Unknown +13595174480:

_Hello again. I can't wait to see you. We have some catching up to do. I'll see you soon._

Starting up this old shit again. God, the mind reels. I noticed Edward staring at me again. "Now, I'm positive it's not possible." I quickly texted Jake, telling him that I was sleeping and that I'm okay. He didn't need to know about my other frequent texter.

I glanced at the clock: 7:15. I still had fifteen minutes to get to English. I quickly pulled on a sweatshirt and my coat, grabbing my messenger bag on my way out. Edward caught hold of me before I reached the door.

"What now?" I yelled at him. He wouldn't leave me alone!

He smirked at me. "Didn't you get the memo? There is no school today. Teachers are preparing for parent/teacher conferences…" he said more, but I completely zoned out.

Parent-teacher conferences. That's what He had been talking about. I interrupted Edward's talking. "When are parent teacher conferences?" I asked quietly. Edward seemed to understand my dilemma.

"Tomorrow," he frowned too, only I was already running. I flew down a couple flights of stairs, raced through the commons, ignoring Poonum and Zach's shouts for me to come and drink hot chocolate with them. I looked behind me for a brief moment to check if Edward came after me. There was no sign of him. I raced to the music wing, hoping to find an empty room. There were locks on the door, and that's exactly what I needed. I found the piano room vacant. I shut the door behind me and locked it.

I cried. I slumped in front of the door and cried. My eyes felt sore from crying so much, and I wondered when I'd be able to toughen up and stop. I wanted to stop all this pain. I wanted this torture to end. Once again, I pulled my razors out of my bag. This time I did my ritual. When I finished, there were two small cuts, dangerously close to my major artery. I promised myself that next time, I wouldn't be so chicken.

I sat there for the longest time, mesmerized by the number of cuts on my arms. I noticed how when you looked at my arm as a whole, it kind of looked like a Picasso painting. I laughed. I laughed hard. I loved how my arms looked like a piece of art. Finally, I could feel myself being optimistic about something. Tracing every single scar on my arm, I thought about what caused each one. I came across my first one, and examined it closely.

The first centimeter or so, the scar was jagged. My hand shook because of the fear that it was only the beginning. But the scar smoothed out into another two inches. My second scar, the one opposite of the first, looked like a moon. Phil had just finished raping me that night. I was tired and hurting all over, and I remember gazing at the crescent moon from my bed. I thought about what the moon represented to me: peace of mind and body, serenity, and purity. To remind myself of these four qualities, I took my razor and cut a crescent moon into my arm. The blood flowed faster than my first, and then I felt it. I felt how cutting myself made me feel like I could achieve these qualities. My mind felt clear, I couldn't feel anything but floating, I had no problems or fears, and I felt that I was ridding my blood of anything dirty or vulgar…making me _pure_.

The moon became my symbol of hope. I hated the night because of what happened, but I could always count on the moon to be there for me. Even when it was a new moon, it was still there. No matter how bad things were, the moon always rose.

I looked at the piano near the window. The urge to play it pushed through the slight dizziness that the cuts created. Shakily, I rose to my feet, leaving my bag by the door, and walked over to the piano. One particular song came to my mind. My fingers glided slowly and smoothly across the keys, and the Moonlight Sonata filled my ears. I swayed a little bit, letting the music get to me. The song was so simple, yet so beautiful. It really captured everything I believed the moon to be. The night is so dark, and most people think darkness brings evil, but hardly anyone notices how peaceful it can be.

The soothing melody consumed me. My mind, totally lost in the music, felt at peace again. I closed my eyes and let myself hear the music in darkness. I imagined the moon, sitting in the sky, trying to spread peace, and I smiled to myself. I memorized this song shortly after that second night. I always used the school piano, always afraid that someone would find out. No one knew because I got to school at the most ridiculous times to play.

The ending of the song reminded me that all good things must come to an end. I looked at the sun, finally starting its decline towards the earth. The excitement for the come of the night made my fingers start moving again. I recognized the song as the Moonlight Sonata's third movement. I remember when I first learned it; I would smile like an idiot and play as if I were possessed. I still did.

Under normal circumstances, I had no patience, but I had endless patience when it came to playing a long piano solo. I played and enjoyed it. After about ten minutes of playing though, my fingers were beginning to feel a little flimsy. Ruefully, I stepped away from the beautiful instrument and decided it was safe, as safe as it could ever be for me, to go outside and run back to my room to hide.

The sun continued to go down at a slow pace. Part of me wanted to go to my room and hide from the rest of the world, secluded from anything that could bring me harm. The other part, however, wanted to sit on that bench, covered with a light layer of snow, and watch the sun set. I brushed aside enough snow so I could sit on the bench. I pulled my legs up and sat criss-cross, watching patiently as the sun descended. The sun finally went down, and I gazed at the crescent moon. This moon happened to be different from the one on my arm. The one out tonight was a waning crescent. I pulled up the sleeve on my arm and looked at my scar. The space beneath it had no scars. I glanced at my phone, which rested on top of my bag, and all the messages came rushing back to me.

I decided that the scar needed a friend. Smiling, I pulled out a clean razor. I pressed the cool metal against my skin and pressed. Watching the blood pour, I made a waning crescent. Lazy, I wiped the razor blade on my jeans and put it back in the bag. I let the freezing air try to heal myself inflicted injury. I smiled when the blood started to flow more sluggishly. Then I heard a crunch of boots hitting the snow, right behind me. I pulled down my sleeve quickly, so whoever the intruder was would not see.

The footsteps moved around the bench and sat down. I kept my gaze at the moon, knowing full well who was sitting next to me.

"What do you think of the moon?" I asked. Most people would think of it as a strange question. That's why I always felt alone. Before Jake, the moon was always my friend. I thought his silence meant that he didn't know what I was talking about. "I mean, what comes to mind when you look at it?"

There was a long moment of silence before he answered. His angel like voice filled the silence. "I think of serenity when I see the moon," my breath caught. "But then again, I also think of the darkness, and how it brings about evil," so he was one of _those_ people. The people who are scared of the dark. I welcomed it. No one could see me, and I couldn't see anybody. Then his answer got more interesting. "I know it sounds very cliché to you, but think about it. We can't see the dark side of the moon. We only see the light it brings. I feel that night is a secret time. I believe that is why you sleep during this time. Your thoughts and dreams are secret to you." I never thought about it that way.

"Perceptive," I granted him. "But what do you think of the moon itself? What do you think it represents?" That has always been my mind-boggling question. Because of the situation I was in when I thought about my answer, I didn't think it was that hard. But when I asked other people, they said typical things: darkness, evil, and danger.

He continued to astound me. "I think it represents peace, maybe balance, but I also think it represents purity." He paused to think of an explanation. "For me, the moon brings peace of mind. I don't think I could explain purity though." I held my breath. "What do you think the moon represents?" I didn't expect him to return the question.

I evaded. "Me." I said quietly. I rubbed my arm that I just cut. I could feel the blood soaking through both layers and became insecure. I grabbed the spot with one hand to apply pressure.

"Why do you believe that?" He asked gruffly.

I didn't expect that one either. "Well, I believe the moon represents all of us in a way," I said, avoiding the question. "We all have our secrets, and we all seek the moon's qualities." I was about to stand up, before Edward stopped me with another question.

"Which are?"

I looked at him for the first time. His eyes weren't judging, but attentive. He really liked having this conversation. My mouth hung open like a flytrap before I spoke. "Peace of mind and body, serenity, and purity." My answer, so absolute, caught him off guard. I stood up, and his angry voice caught me by surprise.

"Where are you going?" His voice, somewhat deep, sounded strained.

I told him the truth. "To take care of something," I started walking, to the point of no return, and his abrupt comment startled me.

"To take care of that cut on your arm? Or to add another one?" I whirled around. I stared at him with complete shock. I don't know how, but I managed to forget about how Edward saw everything. He got up from his spot on the bench and stalked towards me. I took a step back, and before I could turn around and run, he stood in front of me, grabbing my hand with necessary force.

"Let go of me," my tremulous voice didn't sound as severe as I wanted it to. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. They weren't sad tears, they were frightened tears. Ever since I started cutting, I was scared out of my mind of people finding out. He kept his eyes on mine, and when he didn't let go, I started pulling, even though it stretched the cut. "Please let go," I begged. A few tears escaped, and I didn't bother wiping them away.

His eyes were softer now, and his lips weren't in the fine line they were a minute ago. They were kind and caring. "Show me your arm." He told me quietly.

I didn't give him anything. "What are you talking about? Why?" I was terrified now. Never before have I been one for prolonging the inevitable, and now here I was stalling the inevitable.

"You know why," he said in a soft, velvety tone. "Please, just show me your arm." I was crying freely now. My hitched sobs hurt, and I realized that I couldn't get out of this. I looked away, granting him permission to pull up the damned sleeves. I clenched my eyes shut and bit my tongue, trying to stop the tears from falling, while Edward slowly pulled up the sleeves. His cool hand touched my skin and rubbed his thumb over all my scars. A sob escaped my lips.

He pulled up the other sleeve, where there were almost twice as many scars. He sighed, "Oh, Bella," he didn't say anything else. I couldn't look at him. I was humiliated and ashamed. No one should see this.

"Please, stop looking," I asked him through my tears. Though I spoke so quietly, I didn't know if he heard or not. He didn't let go of either of my hands. I was shaking all over. I could barely breathe. Then he did something I'd never expect of anybody.

I felt his cool lips press against both of my lower arms. I opened my eyes and slowly turned my head to look at him. His expression looked so sad. His gold eyes stood out from his pale skin, and they were a little glossy, not teary eyed, but just a little glaze. The tears I had been trying to hold back burst out. I thought I had been done crying, but Edward seemed to get a kick out of watching me cry. He let go of my hands and pulled me against his hard frame and into an embrace. He must've had a good grip, because my legs gave out and he still managed to keep me upright.

"Shh, it's alright Bella. Shh." Just in that moment, me in his arms being protected, I felt like this was the one place I belonged. I found myself hugging him tighter. After a couple moments, after my tears finally slowed, he broke the silence. "You are cold," it wasn't a question; it was a statement of fact. "We should get you back to your room." I looked up at him with tear-stained cheeks. He pushed away some stray locks of hair and tucked it behind my ear. He pulled off his coat and draped it over me. He wrapped one arm around my waist, while I used both of mine to hold onto him.

When we got to my dorm room, he sat me down on the edge of the bathtub and patched up my cut. We didn't say a word to each other. He finished and cleaned up all the blood-stained bandages. I grew kind of worried because I couldn't hear his breathing.

He turned to look at me. I didn't look up.

"Would you like to tell me what Phil did to you now? There's no point in hiding it anymore." When I didn't look up to answer him, he took up the spot on the floor right in front of me to get a good look at my face. He gazed at me, his expression expectant.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Is it really that hard to guess?" I whispered. I know I hadn't told him anything but Phil's name, but really? It isn't that hard to figure out.

"I want to hear you say it."

I glared at him. "You already know," I didn't get his point.

He glared back. "Say it." He said firmly.

I stared at him incredulously. "There's no point in—,"

"Say it!" It wasn't a shout, but loud enough to get me upset.

"He molested me and raped me! There, are you happy?" I shouted. I was breathing heavily, tears were running again, but I wasn't making a scene with hysteric sobs. He took my hands in his and looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

"That's a start. Now when did this happen?" I slid down off the tub and leaned my back against the side.

"It started—," he interrupted me again. He didn't like the beginning of my speech.

"Wait, 'started', you mean this happened more than once?" He sounded angry now. How could he not get it?

I was confused. "Of course it was more than once. What else would you expect?" He was about to say something but I pushed ahead. "It started when my mother married him when I was eleven. After the marriage she wanted full custody of me. At the time I thought Renee really wanted me back, but it was all Phil. They hired the best lawyers available and Renee got full custody of me. Charlie fought back, but I told him to stop fighting. I could see and understand, even at that age, that decent lawyers weren't cheap." Edward looked surprised. I ignored the expression and moved on with the story. "After my first week there, I noticed that Phil treated me kind of weird. He loved to have a hand on me. He always asked me to sit on his lap, absolutely loved to tickle me, and he didn't call me princess or angel like most parents did, he called me beautiful." I smiled. No one ever called me beautiful before and I loved the sound of it. Edward, clearly upset by the fact that I was smiling, cleared his throat for me to continue. I snapped out of my trance. "But about a month after I moved in, things got bad."

Flashback

_I was in my bedroom coloring, still awake at around midnight. I couldn't sleep, so I started listening to my favorite CD, filled with classical music. I started humming along to the music when Phil walked in…with only his boxers on._

"_Hello, beautiful," he greeted me quietly. At the time, I was happy to see him._

"_Hi Phil!" I said, apparently too loud._

"_Shhh!" He said violently. It startled me into silence. Then he explained. "We don't want to wake your mommy." He sat down in front of me on the floor while I continued to color._

"_Come here for a minute," he called me to the bed. Annoyed for the interruption, I got up and went to him. Renee told me that day that I needed to drop the attitude, or else. He was smiling wickedly to himself, and I wondered why._

"_Do you know what your mommy does to please me?" He asked. I shook my head no, even though I already knew. I had the room next to theirs, and I always heard. I asked the maid one day what the sounds were and she answered, shaking her head, "intercourse, my child, intercourse." I already knew how to use the internet, and wasn't exactly that hard to use._

"_She likes to take off all her clothes for me, and then she lets me touch her." This I already knew, and I was scared of what he was trying to get at. I took a step away from him, feeling very uncomfortable. He grabbed one of my arms, pulling me back to him and said, "Do you love your mommy?" I nodded, scared to say anything. "You don't want her to get hurt, do you?" I shook my head no. He smiled. "Then you will please me like she does." I stared at him with a blank expression, hoping that he would think I was a clueless little girl. He didn't buy the act. "Now take off your clothes." His voice was firm, the way Charlie's was when he told me to do something and I didn't do it. If I didn't do it, it led to consequences. _

_Confused and dazed, I took off my shirt, and let him stare at me. Because I looked like my mother and inherited many of her genes, I had curves. My chest size was larger than most thirteen year olds I knew. I could tell he was happy about it. Because I was scared, I tried to convince myself that this was just bath time with Charlie. Of course, Charlie stopped bathing me by the time I was seven, so it was a far stretch. I pulled down my pants and my blue underwear, and watched as Phil gaze lustfully at me. _

_Then the touching started._

_His hands grabbed my waist hard. I cried out in pain. "Shh, you don't want to wake mommy. And if you do, you'll be in trouble." I just nodded. Both of his hands grasped my breasts and I bit back a cry._

"_Please stop, Phil. That hurts," I told him through clenched teeth. He ignored me with a huff and continued to grab at me. After a couple minutes of standing, he picked me up and threw me on the bed. My head hit the head-board with a _thump!_ I bit back a scream._

_He began touching my lower tummy, and my discomfort grew. Since I became well aware that there were major consequences for not cooperating, I stayed quiet. He grasped my thighs with unbelievable strength. He thumbed my lower private part, making me shiver. He pressed his thumb a little bit into my private part before stopping himself._

_And he punched me._

_He was so frustrated that he couldn't take me. I was too young for him to fully enjoy it. He hit me instead. His hits came, one after another, until finally, around one o' clock, the abuse finally stopped._

_Before walking out, he whispered back to me, "you were a good girl tonight, Isabella. I hope that kind of behavior will continue." He laughed silently to himself before closing the door and leaving me on my bed naked._

_I knew that when the sun finally came up, I had to put on my clothes before my nanny noticed any of the bruises. I wasn't stupid, I knew about this kind of stuff. He didn't want anyone knowing, or else he'd hurt mommy. Then he'd hurt me. Sore, I finally got up and got dressed._

_My mom saw how disheveled I looked and told the nanny to bathe me. Mrs. Kate forced me into the bathtub, but when she saw all the black and blue bruises, she went straight to her employer: Phil. I remember, hiding on the second landing of the stairs, hearing Mrs. Kate talking with Phil. _

"_What are you doing to that child Mr. Dwyer?" She hissed._

_He warned her with a glare. "What I do with my child is none of your business. Now go back to playing with her. I'm sure she's lonely." But Mrs. Kate, the kind person she was, kept fighting for me._

"_She's got bruises all over her body. And when I say all over, I mean _all over._" She got up in his face. He just glared at her. Part of me hoped that she'd succeed in getting him busted. But another part of me knew that no one could win against Phil. "Mr. Dwyer, if you are hurting that child, I will report you to the authorities."_

_Phil laughed. It sounded awful. "With what? A few suspicions. You have nothing against me. That child rides horses, she's terribly clumsy, and you should know that after all the cuts and scrapes you've cleaned up. She falls all the time, which would explain the bruises."_

"_She had none of those bruises yesterday when I left at ten when she was in bed sleeping." Her words were accusatory, and Phil didn't like that._

"_You are dismissed. Go home and tell your family that you spoke out of line and received the boot." He walked away. Mrs. Kate stormed up the stairs, while I raced to my room. I sat next to her bags, not wanted her to leave. She entered my room, furious. Then she saw me, and tears leaked from her eyes. Mrs. Kate was young, probably late twenties or early thirties, but she looked so old and wise just then._

_She kneeled down in front of me and cupped my cheeks. "You need to be brave, okay? Phil is a malicious man who will win anything. He has too much power. Just stay strong and be brave." I knew what she was talking about, so I nodded. She pressed her lips to my forehead, then stood up and grabbed her bags. She started out of my room._

"_Mrs. Kate!" I called after her. She could be my one hope. She could free me. "Mrs. Kate, wait!" I cried. She reached the bottom of the stairs before I could and opened the front door. I saw Phil standing at the bottom, watching her leave with snake eyes. I reached the bottom. "Phil, where is Mrs. Kate going?" No answer. I tried again, this time I was angry. "Where is she going?" I realized that she was probably already to her car._

_I ran out the door, with one of the maids in hot pursuit of me. I ran towards Mrs. Kate's car screaming. "Mrs. Kate! Please don't go! Mrs. Kate! Come back!" But she just waved to me, tears in her eyes, and pulled out of the driveway. I never saw her again._

"I didn't get another hope until a year later." I glared at him. His sister Rosalie.

He seemed angry at this, too. "What happened after that?" He asked through clenched teeth.

This was the worst part. I started to shake. Edward asked, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "No, but I've already started the story." I sighed. I'd have to get this out sometime. "When I turned thirteen, the abuse got worse…"

_I'd just finished my algebra homework around midnight when Phil walked in. I knew what this meant. I pretended I hadn't noticed he was in there and started do an unnecessary math problem. He walked over to my desk and grabbed my shoulder._

"_Come on. I even have a gift for you tonight." I heard the warning, so I put down my pencil and put away my calculator and my math book. _

_Phil went to go sit on my bed, like every night. And like every night, I slipped off my shirt. I heard an uneven intake of breath. My breasts, a good B cup, were cupped into a black, lacy Victoria's Secret bra that covered hardly anything. I slipped off my jeans slowly. He saw the matching thongs and stopped breathing. The next thing I knew, his hands were around me, placing me on my back on top of the bed. This was nothing new. What was new was the fact that he was kissing me, all over. I shivered, not at the feeling, but at how scared I was. Normally he just touched me, but this was new. He reached behind me and unclasped my bra, throwing it to the floor. His lips kissed my breasts, and I could feel his tongue, leaving the peak of my nipple, making them hard. I gasped at the feeling. As usual, I kept quiet while he stripped me of my panties. Then something new again. He started kissing me between my legs, his tongue licking my very center. I gasped again, and then scooted back on the bed. I did not like this._

"_Isabella," his tone sounded angry. I stopped pulling away, knowing that he would send those men after my mom like he did the last time I protested. He pulled me back to him. "I told you I had a gift," and he returned to the kissing. My breathing started to become labored. He moaned with pleasure and I knew something was happening down there that I didn't want to happen. After a long time between my legs, he moved up, kissing my body all the while. He started suckling on my nipples again. Then I felt it. I felt his hard length against my inner thigh and gasped. "Enjoy this, Isabella. It would please me more," he mumbled into my breasts. I knew what he was talking about. So I acted. I acted like I loved every second of it. _

_He continued kissing me on my breasts, I moaned. The kisses sent the strangest, most wonderful sensations throughout my body. The sensations made me spill my juices, and Phil felt it. At that very moment, he spread my legs extremely far apart (I was very flexible) and plunged into me. I felt tearing; ripping, stretching, and I bit back a shriek of pain. I bit my lip so hard, I tasted blood._

_He lifted my leg and tied it around his back, giving him more access. After a while, the pain subsided and I just let him have me. My moans pleased him to no end. This, as he once told me, was one of the reasons I was better than my mother: my mother did not have the quiet, pleasurable moans that I did. Hers were loud and obnoxious. Even I could say that. But I was quiet because I had to be, and it just became a habit. _

_Our little session lasted an hour longer than it usually did. He didn't quit until he had an orgasm. When I felt him spasm against me, it felt so strange, I can't even describe it. He eventually found the correct spot to come at in me and made me moan out in pleasure. It was like a spark of electricity that gave you life. Every time he'd hit it, my back would arch off the bed, almost begging him to hit it again. Eventually, it finally ended. He grew tired and finally left me, sore and disgusted. _

"That was the first night I cut myself," I said through the tears. Edward was horrified. "I was so disgusted with myself," I continued. "I thought it felt good. God, I hated myself. I felt dirty, and violated. And when I cut myself," my breath hitched, "it felt like I was getting rid of everything that happened, you know? It made me feel…pure again." I started sobbing again and Edward pulled me into his arms, rocking me back and forth. I cried into his shoulder.

After a while, he finally asked, "when did it stop?" He whispered in my ear.

I sniffled. "When I was nearly fifteen, when Jake put a gun to his head."

He sighed. "You endured this for four years without telling anyone?" He sounded upset.

"I couldn't. He'd send his thugs after my mom again. She was so scared when she got home that day. I couldn't do it to her again." I started crying again. I was so tired I couldn't stand. Edward scooped me up off the bathroom floor and cradled me in his arms, taking me to bed, while I let my head rest against his chest. I don't think I've ever felt so at home.

He put me in my bed and let go of me. He began to walk out and I started to panic.

"Please don't go," I cried. "Please don't leave me here. He's coming for me and he knows where I live and—," the horror of the truth sent me into hysterics. I could've sworn that Edward was right next to the door, but then he was crouching down next to my bed, brushing a hand over my hair.

"Alright Bella, I won't leave. Just go to sleep, alright? I'll be here. I won't let him get to you." His eyes were honest, and so I trusted him. I closed my eyes, and my breathing slowed. He started humming a lovely lullaby, and I finally succumbed into a peaceful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**I would've posted this chapter earlier, but I thought I already posted it and totally forgot about it. Sorry! I've been a little bit of a scatter brain this week.**

**Chapter 10**

* * *

I could feel that my eyes were rudely swollen. My eyelids felt so heavy, I didn't want to wake up. Well, I didn't want to wake up at all, knowing what day it was. I rolled into a ball, trying not to cringe at the thought of today's festivities. I didn't want to cry anymore, but I had an awful feeling that crying would be inevitable.

I felt someone sit on the edge of the bed. "Bella, are you awake this time?" An angelic voice asked me. I rolled over just enough to see Edward's gold…no, dark bronze eyes. Strange, I'd have sworn they were gold.

"What do you mean, 'this time?'" I asked, completely rolling over to face him.

"You talk when you sleep. Most of what you said I couldn't really understand because they were all mumbles, but I was able to make out a couple of things." He didn't smile wickedly as if he found out one of my silly little secrets, he smiled as if he heard something that touched him.

I thought about his statement. "You know, I think Jake told me that I talk in my sleep a long time ago," I laughed at the memory. It'd been a long time since I heard myself laugh. It sounded off, but it was real.

Edward smiled. "What is so funny?" I could see more light in his eyes.

I shook my head. "Jake is just a crack-up. He's as subtle as a brick to the forehead." I leaned back on my pillow. "The first time he took me in, I woke up the next morning and he bombarded me with complaints. He didn't get a wink of sleep. When I asked him why he looked so tired, he responded with, 'you wouldn't shut the hell up!' Back then, no one had told me that I talked in my sleep. The only other person I know who does that is Becky."

"He took you in? I thought you lived with your parents?" Edward seemed confused by my usage for the term, "took me in." I clarified.

"Well, I technically did, but I never went back there often after the um…incident with Jake." I cleared my mind of all ugly topics and moved onto happier ones. "After Jake helped me out, he and his older brother Chris took really good care of me. They made sure I always had a place to stay the night, made sure I always ate dinner, made sure I attended school," Edward raised just one eyebrow, and I thought it'd shoot off his head.

"You didn't go to school?" He didn't sound angry, just curious.

I stared at him in the eyes. "I tried running away several times. When Renee or…Phil," saying his name as if it were a disease, "took me to school, they'd leave right away and not bother to see if I actually went in. Until Jake came along, I just snuck out behind the school. There was a huge park behind the school, and I'd often hide in the woods for hours, just playing in the creek, hiking up the creek all the way to the main road, catching fish, I'd always have a book or something with me to keep myself entertained." I remembered those lonely days as if they were only yesterday.

He still looked concerned. "How did you manage your grades? You are in all honors courses right now, how did you manage?" Jake asked the same question.

I smiled to myself. "I'd always tell my teachers on the very few days that I went to school that I would be gone for the next few days and needed the homework and daily work. I always attended on test days, but once my tests were finished, I snuck out. I don't know why, but I was always petrified of having Phil or Renee knowing where I was." I shivered, remembering the nightmares that I still get whenever I have a spare moment to think.

"Did you ever confide in anybody? Did your parents ever notice?"

Hell yes. They sent me to so many shrinks, I stopped counting after twenty-five. "They started sending me to a shrink when I started talking back to Renee, though I think it was one stunt in particular. I could never talk back to Phil, he would hurt Renee, and no matter how much of a bitch she is now, I still love her. But I started ignoring Renee because she treated me like shit when she had no idea that I was saving her ass. When I turned twelve, I threw all of her designer shoes and bags into the fire pit we had out back, and I 'liquified' all her gold jewelry in the blender." I smiled inwardly to myself. Classic.

Edward's eyes went wide. "You did that when you were twelve?" He seemed surprised.

"She called me a useless brat." I frowned, not one of my better days. "I went to my first shrink the next day." I don't even remember her name. I do remember calling her a narcissistic bitch, though.

"Did anything good come of that?" I caught in his tone that he already had a few guesses.

"Yes, actually. My…" I had to think hard. "I think it was my fifth shrink that reccomended I start drawing to explain my emotions. She immediately regretted that after she saw what I thought of my parents." She told my parents not to bring me back she was so freaked out.

Something seemed to click for him. "That day in the barn. Is that the picture?" I nodded. He didn't have to ask, so I flipped the covers off of me and walked over to the far corner of my room, where I stashed the horrid thing. I sat down close to Edward on the bed. Before unrolling it and exposing the nightmare, I took a deep breath.

Edward looked taken back. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes went over my drawing. No one could see Phil in the picture, but I certainly could. In the center of the picture stood a man, his head down, he tipped his field-green baseball hat down over his devil-green eyes, but you could still see the evil smirk on his face. I made sure to include Phil's slight goatee that he'd been trying to grow for years. The man's hands were smothered with blood, coming off on his hat, rolling down his arms, splashed on his shirt, and his jeans were torn. Hovering all around him was a black mist: aura. The black fogg got darker towards the edges of the picture.

Edward finally spoke almost inaudibly. "This is your perception of Phil," he paused, trying to make the idea seem more real, "when you were twelve?" I nodded, and handed him another roll of poster size paper. He didn't hesitate to put down the drawing to pick up the other one, which I was more proud of.

I drew my perception of Renee. She sat on a bench, surrounded by the most beautiful and colorful flowers, dressed in a pure-white sundress. Her semi-long mahogany hair cascaded over her shoulders, and brought out the ivory tone of her skin. I drew her with a smile on her face, staring at a rose she held in her hand…a black rose that pricked her finger and poisoned her.

Edward got the wrong idea and frowned. Now I had the confused expression. "Is this a self portrait?"

I shook my head furiously. "No,no,no. That's Renee," I pointed to her features as I explained. "My hair had never been that short. Her eyes are hazel, mine are brown. I have more curls that I got from Charlie, but her's is almost pin-straight. Our noses are a little different, and her cheekbones aren't as high." I looked up at Edward, who happened to be smiling down at me.

"How did you capture all of this? When I turned twelve, I couldn't draw anything more than stick figures," his eyes looked wistful as he thought about it. Then he turned his attention to me again. "Did you draw this just from a picture in your head?" Now I smiled.

I reached over into my night table, where I kept the unframed photos. I pulled out one of my favorites: Renee, sitting in her rocking chair, looking down and smiling at the tiny baby in her arms. I handed the photo to Edward. His toothless smile turned into a brilliant white smile. It was so perfect, it took my breath away. He looked back to the garden picture, and his face scrunched up.

"What's with the rose?" He kept comparing the two pictures. "I don't really think the rose is a symbol for you." He looked down at me for an answer.

Those dark orbs bore into mine again, and I felt electricity shoot through my entire body. "You're right," I admitted. "That's not me. It's—," I was cut off by a knocking at the door, and I froze.

My entire body couldn't move. Edward stiffened, and I knew he wasn't expecting anybody. I managed to pick myself up off the bed and move over towards the door. I peeked through the peephole and…

I had my shoes and coat on within seconds. Edward stood up, about to walk over to the door, when I pulled him away, holding my finger to my lips for him to stay quiet. Understanding flashed in his eyes, and then they turned angry.

I ignored him and opened the window that had a sturdy tree branch only two feet away. As silently as I could, I climbed out of the window and onto the branch. I looked back into the room, where I saw Edward, still standing at the door, his hands clutched into fists.

I tapped on the windowsill to see if I could grab his attention. My panic slowly rised from my stomach. Edward turned around, and I frantically waved him over. He did a double take, trying to figure out how I ended up in the tree. He shook his head and finally walked over. I frantically climbed down the tree with outrageous speed. Edward followed right behind me.

Then I heard the worst sound possible, coming from my second story bedroom window.

"Isabella," he stretched out my name. "Bella, are you here?" I saw a glimpse of his head peek out the window, that I moronically left open.

I started to hyperventilate, and then I started to _run_. I knew someone would notice something off if I ran into the crowd of people that stood outside the dorms, happily greeting each other. I made a dash for the horse trails, not worrying about a horse.

I didn't notice if Edward still followed me, and I didn't plan on looking back to check. I leaped over the iron fence that lined the field, and not too far off was the woods. A few yards into the woods, the panic really set in, and I couldn't run anymore.

I craved my razors that I carelessly left in my room. Oh, God, I left _everything_ in my room. My cellphone, pictures and paintings out. Shit, his drawing. Everything that went wrong finally settled in. Then I remembered that I was still wearing the jeans I wore last night. I dug into my pockets and found my small razor. I didn't care if I didn't have any bandages; I didn't need them. I told myself I wouldn't be so chicken. I would simply let myself bleed to death, and be happy.

I lowered the blade over the blue line that was clearly visible through my pale skin. The blade hovered over the line for a moment, before I lowered it to where it barely touched the skin.

Before I could go any farther, the razor flew out of my hand and onto the ground a foot in front of me. Strong arms wrapped around my trembling body and suppressed my arms so I couldn't reach. In a panic, not knowing who held me, I started to fight. I didn't know whether I fought to escape, or fought to reach the blade. At that point, they were one in the same.

"Let me go!" Hot tears streamed down my cheeks as I screamed and fought.

"Bella!" Edward's voice came out loud and firm. "Bella, it's me. Stop, it's okay." But I still fought. I wanted—no, _needed_ that razor more than anything right now. Trying for it again, Edward pulled me back.

Crying freely now, I could barely get out my plead. "Let me go. Just let me go," I got out between sobs.

"No, Bella. This has to stop. You have to stop this. Doing that to yourself isn't going to help," oh, how wrong he was. My sobbing and heavy breathing made it very difficult for me to tell him why I did what I did, why I mutilated myself.

I calmed down just enough to say it without breaks inbetween words. "It will give me peace." My entire body shook with my sobs and urge to grab that blade that was just out of my reach.

Edward held onto me tightly, but not as tightly as before. I felt him rest his cheek on my shoulder, rocking me back and forth. "Shh, Bella. It's alright. He can't hurt you anymore. He won't hurt you anymore." I heard a note of fierceness in his tone that caught me by surprise. I also recognized the compassion, the determination, and…love? I couldn't tell.

I adjusted myself so that I could turn around. He seemed to take note that I wasn't trying to reach for to razor. I didn't bother looking at his face, I just turned around and threw my arms around his neck. He let me cry in his arms, like he did last night.

"He's coming for me, Edward," I whispered softly, knowing he could hear me. "He's not leaving until he gets what he wants. He's going to come after me and," Edward cut me off.

"He isn't getting anywhere near you. I won't let him." He pulled me back and looked straight into my eyes. Under normal circumstances, I would have felt very vulnerable, feeling like someone was staring right into my soul. With Edward, I didn't mind. Part of me wanted him to know everything. I wanted to tell him everything. The other part, the cautious part, told me to stop now before it became to late to get out. He wiped away the tears that sat on my cheeks and brushed away the hair that stuck to my face.

I noticed his eyes were very dark now. They startled me. The bruises under his eyes were a dark purple with a hint of black. I didn't get a chance to comment on them.

"Are you okay now?" He asked quietly. I gave him a small nod. He gave out a sigh of relief. "You gave me a real scare, you know that?" He looked at me with those curiously loving eyes again.

"Where were you?" I asked him out of the blue. "I heard you following me, but then I lost you. Then you caught up to me really fast. What happened?" His eyes tightened every so slightly, and his jaw was more set.

"Ms. Kelly stopped me to ask where you were because Phil went to her asking where you were." He grimaced. My heart rate picked up. A very immature side of me wanted to tell him, "I told you so!" The other part of me didn't want to have to say it.

"I can't avoid him forever. My teachers are going to be wondering why I'm not showing up to all my meetings. I'm going to loose…like always. He probably found everything in my room. I left it all out in plain sight for him to see. I can't call jake because I don't have my phone." I frowned in defeat and put my face in my hands. "I wouldn't be surprised if he snatched it by now. He probably took everything. My pictures, drawings, and…" my case. He never knew that I cut myself. He had no idea that I took all the pain he caused me out on my arms and wrists. Now he knew everything.

"Oh, God." I whimpered. He knows everything. He knows that I still love my mom; he thought that from my behavior at home that I'd given up hope for her. He knows that Jake is coming to get me…he probably isn't anymore.

"Bella, what's wrong?" His voice, serious, brought me back from my revelation.

"I don't even have a fighting chance anymore. He knows everything." I didn't even get a fighting chance. I've lost everything. I looked behind me to find the razor still sitting in the dirt…_begging _to be touched. I tried to keep my hands clasped together, but one got free. My hand hesitated, knowing full well that Edward was watching my every move. This would have to be done quickly.

Trying to be clever, I leaned backwards and sat on the ground; kneeling made my feet go numb anyway. I put my hand down on the ground…directly over the blade. I felt it in the palm of my hand. Experimenting, I lifted my hand; it stuck.

"Bella," Edward's voice sounded deep with frustration. I looked at him with the most innocent eyes I could manage. His expression didn't falter. "Give it to me." He gave out his hand. Playing dumb, I tried the one eyebrow trick and achieved success. "I know you have it. Give it to me."

I dropped the act. "Please," I said, staring at the ground where my hand rested. "This is all I need right now. It looks really bad to anyone else, but it really isn't. It helps better than any drug I've ever taken. Please, this is the last time. I swear," I finally looked back up to him.

He stood up and kneeled down to meet at eye level. His eyes were scared, but he held a steel expression. "You're right. It would be the last time because you were going to kill yourself. I'm not going to let you hurt yourself again. Now give it to me." His hand, waiting expectantly, didn't move.

"But I've lost Edward!" I hissed. "He knows I still love her. I'd rather be dead than go through that again. I can't put her in danger again."

His answer came back crisp and sharp. "Give me the razor right now. This isn't the way to solve your problems." His tone got softer. "Trust me Bella. I promise to help you. I won't let him get anywhere near you. Please. Look at me Bella," I finally looked up from my hand. His eyes told me everything I needed to know. In that brief glance, I saw his love, concern, and fear. His eyes were wide and honest. "Trust me. I will help you." I felt his hand move down towards mine, all the while keeping eye contact. I felt a couple of tears escape. I felt him reach under my palm and take my last chance for peace. He stood up, but I didn't move.

My last chance. Edward knew that I was determined to rid myself of this mess once and for all. He is going to watch me like a hawk.

Edward noticed that I did not plan on moving. He picked me up, bridal style, and started walking out of the woods. I started to panic.

I scrambled to get out of his arms. "You can't take me back there," I said in a panic my eyes grew wide as I stared at the dorms. "You can't seriously be taking me back." I heard something buzz.

Edward dug a cell phone out of his pocket. "Esme? What is it?" I heard a couple of words, and then Edward turned to me, and his eyes got darker. "She's here with me…no. Absolutely not." She said something that she said sparked his interest. "That might work. But only if I can get her back there. She isn't very…flexible…right now." A few more mumbles. "Alright, I'll tell her." He put away his cell phone and gazed apologetically back at me.

"Bella, I know this is going to sound bad, but you need to go back," his words went through one ear and out the other. These were not words that I wanted to hear. He seemed to notice this. He put both of his hands on my shoulders and got a firm grasp. "Bella, I just need you to go to one conference. Just one. Esme is my mother, your English teacher." That made sense why she got so suspicious when I walked into class that one day. I tuned in a little bit. "She will make sure you do not walk out of that room with Phil. The school wants to hear that you attended at least one conference with a parent." He waited for my response.

Taking a deep breath, I finally answered. "I can't go back, though. He'll know where to find me." Then, to myself, "he always does." I didn't mean for Edward to hear, but he did anyway.

"Esme will take you back with her."

"Back where?" To a teacher's dorm? Awkward much?

"To our place. It's not far from here. It's a couple of miles off campus, but it's secluded enough. We all spend our weekends there." Who was this guy? He pops into my life out of the blue, offering me a trip to Jamba Juice, now he's offering me a safe haven.

"Why are you doing this?" My question caught him so off guard, it rendered him speechless.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Because finals are approaching, I am in a panic and I have a history essay that's due Tuesday that I haven't even started yet. So that's my pitiful excuse for this chapter being short.**

**To my biggest fan Vanquishluvr (because she requested): I love you forever and thank you for being consistent on your reviews and yes I know that the one chapter was kind of creepy, but I consider it eye opening. And from now on, check the damn blog! Just in case you don't know it, it's .. all questions will be answered here if you have any.**

**Chapter 11**

* * *

He continued to stare while I waited for his answer. He seemed genuinely surprised by my question, which confused me. Most people would already have an answer to that question: it's the right thing to do, you need help, and I care for your well-being, things like that. Edward seemed to need to think harder on his answer. The moment stood still.

"It's not that hard of a question to answer. You look like you're dealing with an intense 3-D puzzle," I pointed out. No response.

Finally, his mouth started moving, and words formed on his lips. "I—" he started. He struggled to express again. "I know a couple of people who can relate to your story, and they had," he searched for the right words, "not so fortunate endings."

I didn't believe him. Well, I did, but I knew he had more to say, but just didn't want to say it. I let it go.

"Well, thank you for doing it anyway. Whatever your real reason," he started to protest, but I already knew he was lying. "I thank you. No one has ever done this much for me. Well, you can count Jake, too." I smiled for the first real smile in a long time.

He smiled, too. "You don't have to thank me, Bella." He shook his head. Edward turned towards the dorms and the campus. "Are you feeling okay to go?" His voice unsure.

Shaking my head, "I won't ever be, but I have to anyways." I started walking again; Edward put a comforting arm around my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around his waist. We walked for a while, not saying anything. It was a comfortable silence. It's strange, though. Even with this almost-complete stranger, I felt safe and comfortable with him. The relationship, however you want to label it, felt easy. We didn't have to work hard to make things comfortable.

Finally, we reached the campus. All the students were bustling around campus with their parents, rushing to their next class, hoping that the parents will get out of here soon. I felt the same way. Edward and I worked out way over to the English wing, where we hoped to meet Esme outside.

Only we didn't.

Outside of Esme's room, Phil stood. His green eyes, which I imagined to be smirking, were glaring. I could tell the view of Edward's arm around me made him feel possessive and angry. I removed Edward's arm, hoping he would understand. He didn't seem to notice: his eyes were on Phil, not bothering to look down at me.

I didn't say anything to Phil as we moved passed him and walked into the room. Edward made sure to separate me from Phil. Esme, sitting at her desk, looked up at Edward for less than a second and moved her attention to me.

"Hello, Bella." I could see Phil frowning again out of the corner of my eye. He liked people to call me Isabella. He thought the name sounded, "Beautiful." Esme greeted Phil. "You must be Mr. Dwyer. Will Mrs. Dwyer be joining you today?" I became impressed with her ability to keep a straight face… and smile along with it.

Phil, in a restrained voice, answered, "Maybe later this afternoon, she's occupied at the moment." He shrugged.

"That's too bad," Esme sighed. She moved on anyways and sat back down. "Well, I'd like to say first off that Bella is an outstanding student. She has a good work ethic, has a natural talent for writing, and has a true appreciation for literature. She already read the classics that we are currently studying and is willing to help others on the topic." She smiled at me with kindness, and I sensed sympathy, too.

Phil agreed, like the good parent. "She has always been good in school. I remember her staying up until midnight making sure all her homework was done." Yeah, either that or you're a skitzo who _forced_ me to stay up until midnight so you could torture me for four years of my miserable life. I saw the smirk; I curled my hands into fists all the while trying to resist tear flow.

Esme noticed my discomfort and moved onto a different topic. "Are you involved at all with her schooling, Mr. Dwyer?" She asked, getting serious now.

He shrugged. "I dropped her off at school in the mornings, but my wife Renee did most of the schoolwork with her." Flat out lie. I forged my entire straight-A report cards because Renee wouldn't give the time of day to take a single look at my report cards. I faxed all my report cards to Charlie until I turned thirteen; that's when I started to forge. I became so good at it; I didn't have to worry about getting caught.

The door opened behind us. Renee stood in the door frame, all five slutty feet of her. Renee, of course, dressed in a white Prada blouse with a v-neck and ruffles, a black Gucci pencil skirt, and those black Prada pumps with the violet fade on the toe that I've always envied. That's why she wore it.

"I'm terribly sorry I'm late," she explained on the way to the front of the room, while I put my face in my hands, hoping it was all a dream. Esme stood up and shook Renee's hand.

"Hello, you must be Mrs. Dwyer, my name is Mrs. Cullen and I'm your daughter's English teacher." Renee looked at me with a sneer.

"Well, I guess we will be getting a good report from you then. We never had a problem with her and English. She always has her nose in a book." Like she would know. She ignored me most of my adolcent life. She didn't even know half the things I'm interested in.

Esme smiled. "Yes, Bella does very well in this class and exceeds all expectations; and our expectations here at Hockaday aren't very easy to meet." I'd have to thank Esme later for all these complements that she clearly meant.

The room started getting a little musty with all the people in here. I zoned out as Esme shot into a conversation with Renee and Phil on how I'm an excellent student, born to major in English. At this moment, I really wished Esme was my mother.

Finally, their conversation came to a close. I paid attention again when the subject turned over to me.

"What colleges are you thinking of applying to, Bella? Do you know what you want to do with your life?" Esme, sincerely interested in my life, eyed me with curious eyes.

I pulled my thoughts together. "Well, I've always wanted to be an author, but I think being a journalist would be fun, too. All I know is that I want to write. Though, if I decided to take the art route, I'd like to become an art teacher of some kind; teach art, music, creative writing. Being a teacher is definitely an option right now." I smiled. Though a couple of years ago, I thought I'd never even make it to college. Now, Esme made me feel like I could do it.

Esme smiled a broad, white grin. "That's what I thought. Although your math, science, and history grades are all very high, English seems to be your strong point. I hope you succeed in pursuing your passions, Bella." She meant every word. Edward is very lucky to have her for a mother.

"Thank you Es—Mrs. Cullen." I caught myself. We have always been on first name terms with each other, but around my parents didn't sound like a good idea.

Phil, getting impatient, rose from his seat. "Well, I am going to be late for my practice if I don't get on the go soon. The Rangers are playing the Yankees this weekend." The Rangers sucked. That was just baseball common sense. Phil was a sucky player; the two were just meant to be.

Esme smiled. "Oh, that's right. You play for the Rangers. My boys and girls love to play baseball, too. My sons are very competitive at the sport. The only problem I have is keeping them honest. They cheat so much," she laughed an enchanting laugh. Her soft, dark brown curls bounced with the movement and her childish dimples stood out. Phil couldn't help but gawk at her beauty.

He drew his attention away just long enough to give me a good word. Bella, would you like to see your mother and I out?" I looked at Esme, hoping she could help out. She shrugged helplessly.

I gulped my fear. "Sure," I croaked. My confidence Esme gave me earlier disappeared. I stood up and slowly made my way out, giving Esme one last glance before giving myself to the wolves.

We all walked in silence all the way to the taxi that waited patiently for them to return. Renee got in the car right away and shut the door, while Phil turned around to face me.

"Who was that boy?" I could hear the anger. He grabbed my arm a little too tight. "Tell me."

I winced. "Esme's son, Edward Cullen." Whispers were all I could handle.

His green eyes narrowed at me. "And what were you doing with him? I looked for you all morning. I came to your dorm, but you weren't there." I could sense all the accusations he was making. He thought I had been with Edward all morning, doing things that only he did to me. I'd probably never be able to be with a guy and be that close ever. Not when Phil is all I could think about when guys touched me. Edward and Jake were the only exceptions.

"We went for a ride on the trail, that's all." It came out as a squeak. His hand grasped harder on my arm, feeling the scab from my cut slowly tear open again.

His face came close to mine, his eyes menacing. "You listen. No man except me will ever touch you, do you understand?" I nodded. I had no problem with never touching any guy in that way. "I will be back tonight, and by God you better be there," and then lower, "you know the consequences." I bit back a cry. I would show no more weakness in his presence.

I felt a cool hand on my shoulder, and a voice I thought I recognized, but sounded much different. "Let go. You're hurting her." I turned my head slightly to see Edward, all towering fury staring at Phil. I wrapped my free arm around Edward for comfort. He was a balm to me.

Phil angrily let go of my arm. Edward's arm moved around my waist, making me feel safe again. Phil glared at Edward, but Edward's scowl was much more impressive. He turned his attention to me again. "Don't forget what I told you, Isabella," I winced at my full name. Edward's grip tightened on me, and I could've sworn I heard a feral growl come from him.

Phil got in the car, and I caught a glimpse of Renee smiling. Edward abruptly turned me away and started walking briskly towards the boy's dorm. When I looked up at him, all I could see were his angry eyes. I knew already that he didn't like Phil or Renee very much, but this was an overreaction.

"Edward," I stopped him. "What's wrong? I know you're really angry at Phil right now, but when you saw Renee, you nearly lost it. What's going on?" His hair looked windblown, and his eyes darker with more prominent bruises.

He took a deep breath. "Nothing Bella." We approached his bike, and for the first time, I noticed the sack on his back. He climbed on, handing over the helmet.

I hesitated. "I don't think I should go, Edward." He did the cool eyebrow thing. Then he frowned.

"You aren't really thinking about listening to him, are you? They are just empty threats. Besides, I sincerely doubt he could hurt anybody in my family." He smiled at some inside joke.

I shook my head. "You don't understand, he—" then I caught it. He wasn't there when Phil was threatening me. I gazed at him speculatively. "Wait, how did you know about that? You weren't anywhere in sight when he was talking to me. How do you know?" My suspicions grew. His eyes change color, he gets angry and irritable. He sees people, his expressions change erratically. Something strange is going on with Edward.

He caught his mistake, and then sighed. "I guess I'll have to tell you later, no matter what. So could you please get on the bike before I end up having to strap you to the seat?" His eyes were begging me to drop the subject, so I did, but hesitated to get on the bike. If Phil knows where I am…

Edward interrupted my internal panic session. "Bella," he cupped my face in his hands and looked me straight in the eye. "I promise, nothing will happen. I promise you that nothing bad will happen to you or any of us. Phil is not a threat to us. Trust me." Those words again. _Trust me_. Trusting people isn't exactly my expertise, but with Edward, it came naturally.

Reluctantly, I took the helmet he offered and hopped onto the bike. As soon as my hands connected around him, he took off. Just as I remembered, the bike had speed that made your adrenaline start pumping. I loved the feeling of running away from anything harmful, and running towards something blissful.

We raced through the countryside, watching the trees turn into blurs of green. We soon moved off the main highway and moved deeper into the woods. The woods weren't thick like the forests in the Olympic Peninsula in Washington, but there were plenty of trees. A minute of driving down a gravel path, we stopped in front of what had to be the most beautiful home I had ever seen.

The home was a classic. Dark red brick decorated the front of the house. Huge bay windows revealed high ceilings; the house seemed to stretch out forever. It wasn't the modern Mediterranean Villa that we had in Texas; it had a classy vintage feel to it.

I got off the bike in a daze, slowly following Edward up onto the porch. His hand hesitated on the elegant door knob. He turned to look at me. I looked up to him.

"Bella, what you are about to see and hear might be a little overwhelming, so just brace yourself. And…after this, if you hate me, I will completely understand." I could see his internal battle raging. Part of him, I'm not sure which part of him, wanted me to leave. The other part desperately wanted me to stay. Then something occurred to me: how could I hate someone who has given me so much love?

"Don't hold your breath."

He smiled, and opened the door.

If I thought the outside was beautiful, that's because I hadn't seen the inside. Every wall had an off shade of white, tinting towards yellow, green, and the furniture looked like old French provincial. The home looked so bright. I didn't have to look at the family photos to know that this home held a lot of happy moments and memories for the Cullen's.

"Wow," I breathed. I looked down to take off my shoes. The floor was a beautiful light maple color. The floor put the whole entire house together. I looked at Edward, who was smiling at me. "What?" I asked.

"You just look happy, that's all. It's a nice change in you." He had a point. The last time I had been this happy was back at Christmas time.

"This house has that effect on me. It's so light and open; I can tell that your family has had a lot of good times in this house." I looked around again. The house in Texas had a fake feel to it, it was all for the looks, not for comfort. This looked like a family home.

"It has that effect on me, too," he admitted with a sheepish smile.

I heard pitter patter footsteps coming from upstairs and a squealed, "Edward!" I looked up the curved staircase and found a little pixie girl flying down the steps. She had extremely short spiked black hair and a little pixie face. Her eyes were the same color as Edward's when he was in a good mood.

"Hello Alice. This is Bella." His hand gestured towards me. I held out my hand, so I sure wasn't expecting the huge bear hug coming from a little pipsqueak. She squeezed me with unbelievable force.

"Bella! It's so good to finally see you! I know that we are going to be the best of friends!" I looked at Edward, who smiled at Alice.

"It's nice to meet you too, Alice," I meant it. She's the kind of person who won't let you be sad for more than a few seconds. I could use some of that kind of spirit.

She finally let go and observed me. She frowned. "Edward, this is an issue," Alice looked so serious and slightly concerned. She put her thumb and forefinger on her chin in thought.

Edward groaned. "Alice, you are not going to torture her. Let her rest for a bit before you steal her off on one of your escapades." He went to capture Alice and pull her away from me, but she neatly dodged his quick hands and went back up the stairs shouting, "Jasper! Emmett! Bella's here!"

I looked at Edward, wide-eyed in surprise. "You didn't tell me you owned the original Energizer Bunny! I would've asked you for an autograph," he laughed, so did I. My laugh sounded off, but it sounded _right._

"You can insult her, you can disgrace her, you can piss her off, but the only way you can tear her down is by telling her 'no' to shopping." We sobered up a little bit, and he led us into the large family room.

He told me to sit down, I did. He put his backpack next to the couch. "What's that for? I didn't see you with it earlier," I eyed the backpack, wondering what was in it.

"That's all your things. I got back into your room and salvaged what Phil didn't take," then he smiled wickedly, "and a few things he did." I wasn't about to ask. I picked up the bag and set it in my lap. The first thing in the bag was Squishy, in his pale pink grace. Hugging Squishy to me, I closed my eyes and thought of Charlie.

"I figured it held some importance to you, so I packed it at the last moment." I looked up at him, and I could see the question dying to escape his lips.

"Thank you," I breathed. "I don't think I would've lasted as long as I have if it weren't for Squishy; in fact, I probably wouldn't have lasted the plane ride from Texas to here. I remember when Charlie gave him to me. That year, I begged him so much for a pillow like this, but he never gave in to my pleads. When I woke up Christmas morning that year, Squishy was laying next to me. Even though I also got a CD player that year, too, I didn't play with anything but Squishy. He has been with me ever since." I breathed in Squishy's scent; a mixture of Charlie, my old house, and a scent I have never been able to describe. "He healed my insomnia, kept me company all those days in the woods when I was alone, I know I probably sound like a six year old and her doll, but it's true." I opened my eyes.

Edward smiled at me. It wasn't a full out smile, just a small, affectionate toothless one. I heard a door open, and his jaw went tight and his eyes narrowed. Confused, I listened to the light footsteps that I heard coming down the stairs. I didn't understand Edward's sudden change in mood. I thought I heard a low growl come from Edward, but people don't growl. It's not human.

"Edward?" A wind chime voice called.

"Don't," he said voice low and angry.

All of a sudden, Blonde Beauty rushed into the family room, looking exactly the same as I remember her. I felt my face fall into a death glare. She didn't look angry like before, when I first ran into her. She looked…desperate, sorry, and another emotion I couldn't pin down.

"Bella, I'm so sorry—"

"Shut up." I said low and clear.

"I didn't know—"

"You didn't know you'd ever see me again?" I shouted. "You didn't know how to tell someone? You didn't know how to tell him to stop?" I could feel angry tears welling up in my eyes. I waited for her to say something, but she kept her mouth shut. "Seven years ago. Seven years ago all of this madness could've stopped. The only thing that seemed to stop was your aging," everyone stiffened. I saw Alice, Jasper, and Emmett had snuck into the room. "Care to explain?" I asked, more than a little irritated.

She sat down on the couch across from me, looking uncomfortable. She folded and unfolded her hands, staring at them all the while. "Bella, that's the reason that I couldn't help you before. But, I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to tell you why I did what I did." She looked at Edward.

"Edward didn't so callously abandon an abused child like you did. I believe you are the one at liberty to tell me why the hell you haven't changed a bit in seven years." She stared at me. Just stared. The blank expression on her face made me angry.

"Edward," she said not looking at him, we kept intense eye contact.

"Don't worry about it Rosalie, I was planning on telling her anyways, but I think you are the one who should explain." There were a couple more moments of silence. Then, "I already told Carlisle and Esme about the situation. Just tell her already." Was he reading her thoughts? Oh, God. If he can read mine…

Her eyes told me that she was dead serious. "Bella, the reason I couldn't help you back then, the reason Edward is answering questions that haven't been asked, well, it's because we're vampires."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: This chapter builds up to a major event. **

**Chapter 12**

* * *

I kept a completely straight face. Rosalie stared at me with wide and intense eyes…I was well aware of Edward's eyes on me, too. They are probably worried about my reaction or telling another person, whether or not I'm going to flip out, maybe start laughing. The most likely outcome at this point would be laughter. Only I would be laughing at myself.

Vampires. Who'da thunk it? I knew the Cullens had an odd way about them, but this is new. FBI experiments would be more likely. It would explain their unworldly beauty, there incredible strength, and Edward's ability to know what people are thinking.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call my name. I looked at him with my blank expression. He tried to look calm, but I could see fear in his eyes. "Are you alright?"

I gave him a confused look. "Uh, last time I checked. Why?" My casual answer shocked him a little.

He hesitantly put a cold hand on my shoulder. "We just told you we were mythological creatures, and you aren't saying anything." When my expression didn't change, he smiled. "Most people would've gone into shock by now." I noticed he didn't remove his hand. I didn't mind at all.

There was a reason for that. I guess I could relate to them. Ever since I turned eleven, I isolated myself from the rest of the world, feeling like an outcast. Vampires weren't considered among the living or the dead. Considering my life, I fall into that category pretty easily.

I shook my head. "No. It's just nice to finally know someone just like me." Despite my hatred for her, I granted myself a glimpse. She sat on the opposite couch in wide-eyed shock, her mouth drawn open. If she stayed like that forever, I wouldn't have minded.

I turned my gaze to Edward, who looked slightly confused. "Please explain," he said, sitting down on the couch next to me, our arms touching. Looking into my lap, twiddling with my thumbs, I explained my reasoning.

"You isolate yourselves. I've isolated myself for seven years. I haven't really lived since then either. I'm alive, just not living. You aren't really dead or alive. We are alike in that way. Well, I don't really have any super powers or anything, but I can ride like you wouldn't believe." I smiled inwardly, remembering the time I scared the hell out of Jake, pulling stupid stunts on his bike.

Edward's hand stopped mine from fidgeting. I looked up and saw his…loving (?) gaze. His hand wrapped around mine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie get up and leave the room. Good. "Bella," I wanted to melt under his gaze. "We are frozen in time, forever. You still have a chance. Your heart still beats, your blood still flows, you're still living, and you're still alive." It seemed as if he was trying to convince me of this.

"There's more to living than being alive." I murmured to myself.

He didn't know what to say to that. The last thing I wanted to here at the moment was words. Then I heard the most beautiful of sounds. The familiar tune lingered in the air. I immediately perked up.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

I stared into his eyes. "Claire de Lune?"

He smiled. "Yes. It's playing on my stereo. It's almost always playing. Though, I prefer live music." He stood up. I assumed that I was to follow, so I did. He led me through the classy yet modern kitchen, wondering if it was just for props. When we entered the next room, I saw the most beautiful instrument I have ever seen.

Gasping, I ran towards the glossy piano sitting in the corner of the room. Hesitantly, I rested my hand on the cover, hoping I wouldn't leave a handprint.

"This isn't…" I started. There is no way it could be.

I heard the smile in his voice. "Actually, it is."

I whirled around to face him with an incredulous stare. He looked happy and wistful. "You bought Sir Elton John's Steinway grand piano? Didn't that sell for like…" I racked my brain for the correct number.

Edward nodded again. "About $57,000. The money went to charity, and my parents thought the cause was well worth the money." He shrugged as if this were a piece of junk. I gawked at him for a moment before turning back to observe more of the piano.

Running the tips of my fingers along its edges, I slowly worked my way to the keyboard, taking in every inch. The smooth, black, glossy wood sent chills of pleasure down my spine. For some reason, the piano contained a part of me. Playing it has been my passion for years. I've never given the opportunity to play something this magnificent. I gingerly sat down on the seat, but my hands hovered hesitantly over the keys, then I put down my hands.

Edward sat down next to me. I stared at the glossy black and white keys, stretching across the length of the piano. "You can play it," he whispered with a gentle nudge to my shoulder. I didn't move. "Let's hear something new," he suggested. When he saw that the shock of just sitting at Elton's piano kept me immobilized, he gently took my hands and placed them on the keys. My eyes flew to his.

"Seriously?" I asked. Never in my life have I felt good enough to play one of the master's pianos, none-the-less see it in person, up close and personal.

He seemed so shocked by the sincerity in my voice. "Of course. Anything you like."

I knew what I was about to do would probably embarrass me more than being pantsed, but I felt comfortable with Edward knowing my dirty little secret that no one knew; not even Jake.

Abruptly I turned away from the keys to face him. "What I am about to do, you can't tell _anyone_. Absolutely no one. If you do? I don't know…I'll….stake you in the heart or something. Maybe set your Ducati on fire," he winced. "So if I ever hear a word of this outside the safety of these walls, your pretty little Ducati will be toast. Literally." He nodded. I took a deep breath. "Don't laugh. I learned this song when I was probably thirteen. It's one of my favorite songs and I don't like anyone trashing it."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Just play Bella. You're killing me with all the suspense." I gave him one good glare before turning to the keys.

The intro started lightly and a little lively, then, I started singing along.

"Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound."…"Staring blankly ahead, just making my way, making my way through the crowd." I didn't pay attention to anything around me, I zoned out…or in, depending on the perspective. "And I need you," I hit a few chords. "And I miss you," a few more, "And now I wonder, if I could fall into the sky. Do you think time would pass me by, 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you," dramatic pause, "tonight." I continued playing and singing, enjoying myself the entire song. I even smiled. I kept my voice light and airy, realizing that's how I always sang: I didn't want to risk anyone hearing me.

When I finished my little sing-a-long, I didn't look up at Edward; I just continued to stare at the keys. He broke the silence. "You put Vanessa Carlton to shame," he commented. His voice sounded a little forced. "You have a beautiful voice Bella. I don't see why you hide it."

Couldn't help but laugh at that. "I hide it because I'm unsure of it. I'm not good with people watching me. Well, most people," I said, glancing up at him. His gaze burned through me, making me feel blood sluggishly work its way up to my cheeks. It didn't quite reach. I wrapped my arms around myself. "And I don't put her to shame. If anything, I make her shine more. Sure, I can put together a little amateur piece, but to add lyrics would be a pain in the ass. I'd be racking my head for days. Besides, the words probably wouldn't be original."

"Your pieces are _not_ amateur, Bella. Have you ever really listened to yourself?" He didn't sound angry, just frustrated. His sudden mood change baffled me.

"You could probably decipher it just by listening to it, it's so easy." I stated bluntly. Edward frowned. He moved a little towards the center of the piano and started playing a melody that I knew like the back of my hand. Only, I could hear a few changes.

"I knew you'd notice right away," he said, stopping. His bronze hair reflected a little red with the sun setting and the light rays coming through the bay windows. His eyes looked much darker. "I've tried for weeks to figure it out, but it never sounds right. Play it for me." He demanded.

I stared at him. "You did that in your head?" I said flatly.

He shook his head. "I tried writing it, but that was even more difficult."

"Then how am I supposed to fix what you're doing wrong?" He smirked.

"If I watch you, I'll figure it out. I have a good memory."

"Sure you do," sighing, I returned to the keys. He watched me carefully, taking in every note. I explained to him the slow, melodious tempo, the feelings he should feel when he played it, and finally got it right, after over an hour of trying.

"What's the name of the song?" He asked. We were both relaxing on the couch. When I got cold, I slipped on my over-sized black hoodie, and curled up the opposite end of the couch as Edward. We faced each other.

"Hmm?" I asked. His beauty always took away my attention span.

He laughed. "Do you have an attention deficit disorder?" That caught my attention.

"Can you hear my thoughts like you can everyone else's?" I asked. The question bugged me like an itch I couldn't scratch earlier.

He shook his head. "No. Your mind remains a closed door to me. Would you answer the question?"

I cocked my head. "What question?"

"What's the name of the song?" I knew which one he was referring to.

I had thought about this several times. For hours, I'd sit in my room, hoping that the name would eventually come to mind. Several ideas did, but I could never settle on one. The name of the song had to be something that I felt while I was playing it. Something that flows…

The name finally came to me.

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Have an epiphany?"

Shaking my head, "No, but pretty close. I finally figured out the name of it. I didn't have one for it before just now." He waited expectantly. Slowly, making sure I got the words right, "River Flows Through You. Yeah, that sounds right."

"Absolutely perfect." I didn't know what he was referring to: me, or the title. He didn't specify what was, he just stared at me in the eye. Strangely, I didn't have difficulty meeting his gazes. I felt comfortable. I felt like I had a clear head.

"How do you do that?" I asked him.

"Do what?" He asked smiling.

"Clear my head like that. I've been trying for years to figure out a name for that song. A couple of hours sitting down with you and it magically pops into my head." I haven't felt this relaxed in a long time. This felt so casual.

"I don't. When I think of names, I find my comfort zone. When I'm comfortable, I can think more clearly. You find your comfort space here." He smiled to himself mostly.

"What?" I half laughed. I didn't know what was so funny.

He looked at me with bemused eyes. "You find your comfort zone in a house full of vampires."

I shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that."

He laughed. The sound entranced me. He had a very melodious laugh. "I guess not."

Then I noticed that the sun had gone down. Getting up, I ran to check my bag. Yes, at the bottom of my bag was my cell phone. The alerts told me "sixteen new messages." All but three were from Phil.

The others were Jakes.

_Where r u?_

_Listen, I'm coming up in a couple of days. I should be there by Saturday. _

_R U ok? Haven't heard from you._

I responded with a simple: _I'm fine. Hanging out with a friend. We had the day off and hung out at his place. _I thought about putting in: FYI, Phil's here, but that would freak him out. It's not like he could do anything in the first place. When I clicked on the first of the other thirteen messages, the phone was out of my hands.

I looked behind me to see Edward scrolling through my messages.

"Hey!" I shouted, trying to get the phone back. "Give it back! What are you doing? That's an invasion of privacy!" He held the phone up over his head, reaching well over six feet. I hopelessly tried jumping up and down to reach it, but I could barely reach the top of his head.

His voice was firm and final. "No. I know how his messages make you. I'm not letting you read anymore of his texts." His eyes were determined, but they held desperation, too. I stopped fighting.

"You'll tell me if Renee is okay, right?" I asked. He nodded, the first message he looked at, he growled.

"Is Renee okay?" I asked. His reaction made me panic. "Edward, come on, we have to go. He's going to hurt her otherwise." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Edward sighed in defeat. He called Alice downstairs. I blinked and she was standing in front of us.

Edward spoke. "Alice, I need you to stay with Bella in her dorm for a while. If Phil comes—" he cut himself off and his eyes stared into space for a moment. Alice had her eyes closed. He regained himself, and so did Alice. "Okay then, just make sure she's stays safe and that she is never alone."

My stomach growled embarrassingly loud. I clenched my muscles, hoping the sounds would shut the hell up.

Edward smiled and looked away from little Alice, facing me. "When was the last time you ate?" Whoa. I really had to think about that one. That question left me stumped. Edward's smile faded into a frown.

"Um," I really didn't have an answer. Finally, I just shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe a couple days ago? Honestly, I can't remember." I felt pretty stupid saying this, but Edward didn't laugh. Before I understood what was happening, he'd dragged me into the kitchen.

He sat me down on a stool at the counter while he opened a fridge…filled with food.

"Vampires eat food?" I asked, curious and surprised.

Edward laughed. "No. It's just for our human charade. If we ever have visitors, such as yourself, we like to make sure they stay fed." He turned around to give me a serious glare. Like a pissed off kindergartener, I stuck my tongue out; that made him laugh. He grabbed something, closing the fridge door behind him. He tossed me a Golden Delicious apple, my favorite.

Something was missing. "Edward?" He turned around. "Where's the peanut butter? You can't have an apple without peanut butter." His eyebrows went so high; I thought they'd leave his face completely. "What?"

"Peanut Butter?" He asked incredulously.

I scoffed. "Hell yeah. There's no other way to have an apple. Unless we're talking apple pie here." I had a flashback of when Charlie and I would have those Sunday lunches outside with several slices of Golden Delicious apples (the only ones I would eat) and a jar of peanut butter. Not exactly your every day picnic, but it worked for us.

He shook his head and pulled out a jar of peanut butter from one of the millions of cabinets. He pulled out a spoon from a drawer on the other side of the counter and handed it to me. Taking it eagerly, I twirled the top open and then realized that I still needed to cut the apple. As if reading my mind (though, for some odd reason, he couldn't), he took the apple from me and had it cut in six even slices within seconds; cored and all.

"You sure you can't read my mind?" I asked again. "I swear, you can read my mind. You are a liar." I dunked a tablespoon of peanut butter onto my slice of apple, taking a big juicy, peanut buttery bite. Can you say heaven?

Edward looked frustrated. "I can't read your mind. It's almost as if there's a wall to your mind that I can't pass. Either that or you won't let me. All I can figure is that your thoughts don't register in my mind. I do have a theory about that…but never mind." He waved his hand dismissively. I pressed on.

"Nope. You can't leave me hanging on a word like that. That's not very nice. You started a thought, you finish it. What's your theory?" I took another slice. Had food ever tasted so good?

He sighed. "How to explain this without scaring you…" His voice drifted.

"Psh, it takes a lot to scare me, comrade. Besides, vampires are mythological creatures; they aren't real, and they don't scare me. Nothing about them does, actually, they fascinate me. Especially with all their weird powers."

Edward's expression turned thoughtful. "Well, we don't all have 'powers', just Alice, Jasper, and I have special abilities."

I took another bite, then thought. "Well, I know that you can read minds; everyone's except mine. Alice. Hm. Come to think of it, she just stared off into space and cut you off. What happened? You were going to say something and then stopped." Chomp.

Edward nodded with appraise. "Yes. You see Alice…_sees_ things. She can see things that are to come. But don't think that the future is set in stone. Things can change." For a moment, our eyes met, and I saw hope. The expression went away as quickly as it came. "Jasper has a very subtle ability. He can feel the emotions in a room. But, he can also manipulate them. He has the ability to calm down a room of anxious business men, rouse up a group of teenagers, whatever he wants people to feel."

My nose scrunched up. "That would annoy me. But my guess is that you won't be able to feel annoyed until afterwards." Edward laughed.

"Yes, but he doesn't take too much of an advantage. He's judicious with it." My phone buzzed. Before I could pick it up, Edward had it. He handed it back to me. The text was from Jake:

_You're with a friend? That's awesome! Who is she?_

I laughed out loud. Edward smiled. "Jake thinks you're a girl. I say friend and he automatically thinks 'girl.'" I texted back.

_HIS name is Edward. Since when did I ever make friends with girls? They have no sense of adventure. _I told Jake that a long time ago when he asked why I didn't have any girl friends. I answered with a question. I asked him "Do I look like the kind of girl who'd hang out with a bunch of rich skanks?"

"Can't wait to see what he says about this one," I smiled to myself. I went for another bite of apple, and then I realized I had already finished it. I sent the message. I knew it'd take about sixty seconds before I received a frantic phone call. I started the countdown in my head.

"He's a little protective of you, I'm guessing?" Edward leaned onto the counter and rested his chin on his fist. He looked intrigued.

I shrugged. "If you want to call putting a gun to Phil's head after finding out protective, sure. And if anyone brought up the topic or did anything that hurt or upset me, he'd kick their ass. I remember when we went to a bar and this guy grabbed me," I winced, immediately remembering the sensation of Phil's hands doing the exact same thing, "and Jake totally whooped his ass. He has always been protective of me."

"He sounds like a good friend." Edward nodded. You could tell he had a deep respect for Jake already.

I remembered my countdown. I held up five fingers. Four…three…two…one—my phone rang "Josie! Don't you worry! It's just a phase you're going through. Someday you'll know just what to do—" I picked it up.

"Hey Jake," I said, winking at Edward. He smiled.

"What the hell is up with this message?" He didn't sound angry, just over-protective and cautious.

"I thought the message was pretty clear cut, but what's my opinion compared to millions of others?" He always knew I teased in a good mood.

"I see you're in a good mood," he huffed. "Can I talk to him?" Oh dear.

"Jake!" I whined. "You don't have to interrogate him. He's been very good to me. He's made sure I'm taken care of." I hoped Edward didn't want to talk about Phil.

"Yeah, well, Phil was pretty good to you before everything happened," he said in a low, dangerous tone.

My stomach felt queasy. "Don't say that." I forced out.

His voice was kinder, but still serious. "You know it's true. People can be deceiving, Bella, you need to learn to accept that. I don't want you to go through any of that anymore."

Too irritated to talk to Jake, I shoved the phone into Edward's face. He took the phone and greeted him politely. "Hello, Jake."

I didn't really care about what Jake or Edward said. I had no control anymore; that made me feel uncomfortable. I'd been able to hide things from everybody and they never found out. Now that Edward and Jake both knew everything, I couldn't hide the fact that Phil still wanted to fuck me and still threatens me with my mother's life. I looked at Edward's frequently changing facial expressions, and I knew that the night had only just begun.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: My first chapter after exams! I made it extra long for the loss of time: 11 pages on microsoft word, compared to the normal 8 pages. I love hearing feedback. (HINT*HINT*)**

**Chapter 14**

* * *

Sitting down with Alice on the couch discussing tonight's events (consisting of a make-over, poker, and watching cheesy chick-flicks), I heard Edward finally say goodbye to Jake. Trouble was imminent upon me.

"Shit," I said under my breath. Alice giggled.

"He won't be too hard on you. He can't get mad at you or raise his voice. You can't imagine how much he cares for you. Do you have an eight?" She looked at her cards. She already knew the answer.

"Here," I handed her my eight of diamonds. Go fish isn't the most fun game in the world, but it was more appropriate than strip poker. "And I kind of figured that he cared about me," I said, gesturing around the house.

Edward walked into the room, though I tried to ignore his presence. Alice took two more of my cards.

"Do you have a queen?" I asked.

Her expression didn't change. "Nope. Go fish."

"Liar," Edward laughed. "She has two queens." I looked at Alice and laughed.

"You conniving little pixie!" I accused her.

Her mouth turned into a frown. She threw her cards onto the couch and threw her hands up in the air. "Well, now that Edward's in here to tell you what all my cards are, I guess I'll let you talk now." She got up off the couch and headed upstairs, mumbling something about "that damn mind reader."

Edward and I stared at each other for a while.

I broke the silence. "How much trouble am I in?" I asked, sounding as terrified as I felt.

Keeping his blank expression, he said, "heaps." I groaned and sprawled myself across the length of the couch. Edward sat down on the floor in front of me. His intense eyes were filled with some kind of passion that I couldn't pin down.

"Why didn't you tell Jake anything? He flipped out when I told him what is going on. Apparently you made a promise to him to stop this madness," he said, pointing to my bandaged wrists.

I shrugged. "There was nothing he could do about what was happening. Phil is constantly traveling, so he can call him out. Besides, what would they nail him down with? Harassment? They're text messages. It's not like you can feel that they are sinister. Only people who know him like I do can see the double meaning. The proof of rape is long since gone. I don't see the point in trying anything now. Besides, I don't want to cause him trouble. He's already risked life in prison for me. He shouldn't have to do more." Edward gingerly took my hand that hung over the edge of the couch.

I could tell he was about to say something, but the door opened and two voices entered the house. Esme's registered right away, but I couldn't identify the second voice. I got up and ran to Esme.

"Bella!" She gasped in relief. I ran straight into her arms like a little girl whose mother just came home from work…which was almost the case. She pushed me back to get a look at me. "You look so much better. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything, I had back to back meetings and I just couldn't see a way around it." She looked so sorry. I didn't want her to feel guilty about me.

"No, Esme, really, it's fine. Edward came for me shortly after I left. He didn't try anything." I soothed her. She breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't notice the gorgeous man standing next to her until now.

The man standing next to Esme was undeniably beautiful. His sleek blonde hair was a couple of shades darker than his pale skin, his gold eyes were soft and kind, and he stood a little more than six feet tall.

He held his hand out. "Hello, Bella. My name is Carlisle. Edward and Esme have said many good things about you." I took his hand hesitantly. Trusting middle aged men is not something I'm very good at.

"Hello," I said quietly. My stomach slowly churned; I always felt nervous around men.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned to see Edward, his eyes gazing down at me. His eyes were telling me everything was alright.

"I'm Edward's father…figure, so to speak." He smiled kindly. It wasn't the sinister one that I always got from Phil. I've never seen any of the Greek gods, but I'm pretty sure Carlisle could pass as Zeus. He certainly had a certain glow about him.

"Figure?" I asked curiously.

Carlisle looked at Edward. "I think Edward should be the one to tell you about that one." He focused on me again. "You look very comfortable, despite your certain proximity to blood sucking creatures." His eyes were worrisome.

I smiled reassuringly. "I think I fit in more with you all than I do with anybody else. It's nice to feel like that after a long time of feeling so distant. I know how it feels when people judge you on one fact or just how you appear on the outside. No one should ever feel that way." Besides, if Edward was planning to suck my blood, he'd have done it by now.

"Edward!" I heard Alice yell. Edward zoned out for a moment, and came back with a snarl on his face.

My heart dropped to my stomach. "Edward, is Renee alright?" Panic bubbled up to my lips.

He clenched his eyes closed. "For now…but she won't be if we don't get you down there."

Rosalie's voice suddenly piped in. "I'll go in her place." She said, gracefully descending the stairs.

"That won't work Rosalie. We've already decided that Alice is going to stay with her. Besides, I don't think she really wants to deal with that issue right now." If he is talking about the Rosalie-left-a-molested-child-to-defend-for-herself issue, well, hell no.

"We should probably get going," I said flatly. I quickly collected my things. Rosalie trying to reconcile for something that can't be forgotten or forgiven out of guilt really pissed me off, and I didn't want to let out my steam in front of Esme and Carlisle. I could feel eyes burning into my back while I packed up. It felt uncomfortable, to say the least.

Alice stood next to me when I turned around. She smiled kindly and linked her arm through mine. Her lack of height made that difficult.

Turning for the door silently, I gave Esme a hug, Carlisle a nod, Rosalie a glare, Emmett and Jasper a smile, and I can't explain the look I gave Edward. I hoped that I conveyed a thank you at the very least. Alice dragged me outside, where I saw a beautiful canary-yellow Porsche.

I stopped in my tracks and looked meaningfully at Alice. "Is that the 911 Turbo?" I asked pointing to the flawless piece of machinery parked in front of me.

She smiled at my appraisal. "Yes. It's a gift from Edward, actually." She gazed over my shoulder. When I turned around, Edward was standing on the porch.

Alice grabbed my bag and dragged me towards the car. I kept looking over my shoulder to look at Edward…I seemed at a loss without him. Alice guided me into the passenger seat. I breathed in the black leather and the upholstery. The smell of a new car always calmed me, but it didn't fully get rid of the edge.

Alice started the car and the engine hummed; not obnoxiously loud, but loud enough to keep you awake. The windows were tinted a pitch black, but I could see clearly out the windows. I thought we would take off right away, so it startled me when my window went down. Edward's head popped into the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He hesitated, then he looked at me with the most compassionate eyes; his gaze took my breath away.

"Bella, I promise nothing will happen to you. I'll be over later to make sure everything is running smoothly." He put a reassuring hand on my shoulder and gave me one last worried glance before pulling away and the window rolling up.

My shoulder still burned where his hand touched. It was just a hand, but at that moment, it held all the power in the world. My chest felt warm and full.

Alice pulled away, and we sped off back to the academy. I noticed something about the Cullens; driving under eighty miles an hour isn't an option. Alice pushed a hundred when we got on the highway.

"What's the rush?" I murmured. Alice giggled.

"We like to drive fast." She shrugged. Her eyes left the rode and rested on me, which, to be honest, made me feel not-so-safe anymore. Her words, however, made me feel like the safest person in the world. "We'd never let anything happen to you, Bella. Edward cares too much for you first of all, and second, I'm not going to let any one person come between me and my vision." Determination sounded in her voice.

Her interest in me befuddled me. "Alice, why do you care so much about me? We haven't exactly known each other for very long—I mean, besides seeing you around school and all—so why are you and your family protecting me? Esme showed an interest from my first day here, and Edward followed suit."

She kept her eyes on the road, thankfully. "My vision was of you and I. We are going to be really good friends. Besides Jasper and my family, I don't really have anyone." She shrugged it off. "We have all been through some sort of trauma, so we haven't exactly found any human we could relate to here. Plus, with our nature, it's very…difficult…for us to be close to humans. We feed off of animals, but animal blood doesn't quite quench the thirst we have. Even though you are so potent to Edward, he forces himself to ignore the thirst to be with you." Her look that she gave me said that that's saying something. Turning back to the road, she continued. "You can relate to Rosalie, despite what she did to you, because what she went through was quite similar to you."

The information overload fogged my brain with questions. "Okay, I have a few questions now." She nodded for me to continue. "You don't feed off of humans." She shook her head no. "Why?"

"Carlisle started that way of life. We call it a 'vegetarian' lifestyle." She smiled at the inside joke. "People who live with Carlisle want to make a change for the better. We don't want to be the monsters we were made to be. You can't change the hand you are dealt, but you can always change the way the cards are played."

She gave great answers. "So, what's the connection with you and Jasper? Are you siblings? Or were you all adopted?" The family ties confused me. They were all extraordinarily beautiful, but they looked nothing alike.

"Carlisle married Esme in the early twentieth century. Carlisle changed Edward—who was dying from the Spanish influenza at the time—shortly before. Carlisle found Rosalie dying in the middle of the street after her fiancé and his drunken friends assaulted her. Rosalie saved Emmett from being mauled by a bear while hunting. Jasper came from a very different background," she said a little slowly, making sure she got the words right. "When I first awakened, I had a vision of Jasper in a little dinner, and I saw that we'd be together. After finding him, I had a vision of joining Carlisle and his family."

That is quite a family history. "That still doesn't explain the relationships."

She sighed. "Jasper and I have been married four times." I had a little intake of breath. She smiled. "That's not nearly as many times as Emmett and Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme renew their vows every once in a while, but the event isn't as big as the weddings."

She never really mentioned Edward. "What about Edward? Does he have anyone?" She shook her head solemnly.

"No. That's what makes the rest of us so sad. He has been alone every since his mother and father died. We feel terrible because we show our affection openly, but he has no one to give affection to besides Carlisle and Esme."

Edward never struck me as the open relationship type. He seemed relatively quiet and secretive…like me. He never really talked to anyone besides me from what I've seen. He's not like Alice, Jasper, or Emmett at all. They can all be so social. Edward stands out.

Alice smiled and added, "at least, not until you came along." She shot me a sidelong glance. I could feel my cheeks grow warm. People don't really care for me in that way—the way Alice was referring to. Jake and my other friends in Texas cared for me like a sibling.

We pulled up to the school gates; I stiffened up head-to-toe. Alice sensed my unease and grabbed my hand, forcing me to relax it. She drove a little ways until we reached the girls dorm. She got out right away, but I stayed in. She opened my door and gave me a gentle smile.

"Bella," she lent me her hand, "I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Hesitantly, I took her hand and got out of the safety of the car. I noticed that the campus was relatively empty.

"Alice," I said, looking around me, "where is everybody?" Whenever I walked into the dorm, Poonum usually jumped out of nowhere and started talking about her plans for the weekend.

Alice's jaw tightened ever so slightly. "Some go home with their parents for the weekend or go off campus to the city or something."

"Fan-fucking-tastic," I murmured to myself. "I'm a sitting duck."

Alice and I walked into the elevator. An awkward silence loomed over us. The silence lasted until we reached my room. From her large bag that she carried, she pulled out an iPod and a deck of cards. She grabbed a couple of pillows from my bed and popped a spot down on the floor. She handed me her iPod.

"Plug this in," she said, turning to organize the cards, and continuing to pull magazines out of her huge bag. As told to, I plugged her iPod into my stereo. A very girly pop voice, unknown to me, started blasting through the speakers. I sat down next to Alice.

"Do you know how to play 21?" She asked, dealing the cards.

"Yeah," I said, looking at my hand. I tapped my finger. She gave me another card and I stayed. She busted. "So what are we betting?" I asked as she dealt again.

She shrugged. "Anything I guess, though I didn't bring any cash with me, just a credit card for emergencies." She got the twenty-one.

Thinking about anything we could bet, I continued to play absentmindedly. Alice won the first couple of rounds. I'd seen the movie _21_, but I never learned how to count cards. I'd ask Edward about it later. After betting different colors of nail-polish and a couple of favors, we called black jack quits around eleven and moved onto the _Vogue, Elle, _and _In Style _magazines. Personally, I could care less about the fashions in those little teenage-fantasy books, but I couldn't help but admire the way she talks about the designers and styles. She put her passion into style, just like I put music and writing into mine.

About a quarter to twelve, I started to fidget. Alice called me on it. "If he didn't come by now, I highly doubt he's coming at all." She flipped through a couple of pages in her magazine.

I shook my head. "Edward didn't tell you." Her eyes shot up and raised her eyebrows. "It's his 'tradition', I guess, to come at midnight. He's never late, never early." The clock seemed to be moving faster every time I looked at it.

I looked at Alice and realized that she had zoned out. She stared out into space. When she seemed to come back down to earth, a look of worry crossed her features. She picked up her phone and started texting someone—presumably Edward.

"Alice," I said, I little worried. "Alice, what's going on?" She finished texting and started packing her things.

"This was a mistake," she said quickly. "If I'm here when he shows up, they are going to call dorm security. Apparently we aren't supposed to have sleep-overs on weekdays." She glanced at me just long enough for me to see the dramatic eye-roll. "So, I'm having Edward come over here. He'll know what to do, but I have little power in this situation." Her words did not comfort me.

"Th-then what am I going to do when Phil gets here? Edward is ten minutes away! He'll be here by then." Panic rose in my throat.

Alice stood at my side within a split second. "Bella, he's the fastest of all of us. He should actually be here in two minutes tops. You said he's never early, right?" I gave her a weak nod. "Okay, so I'm going to take a look around. Just stay here." All I could manage was another nod.

Her small figure disappeared out my second-story window. Alone, I sat curled up in a ball on the edge of my bed, wondering how in hell I'm going to escape Phil. The tenacious bastard still wouldn't give up, even after a threat on his life was made.

Staring at the clock, I saw the second-hand quicken its pace towards the twelve. The soft ticking from the clock grew louder, and I felt sweat beading on my forehead. When I felt a hand touch my shoulder, I shrieked.

He covered my mouth. "Bella! Bella, it's me!" I stopped fighting against his hold and relaxed into it.

"Damn it Edward," I gasped. "Don't scare me like that! I nearly had a panic attack." I looked up into his gold eyes. They looked guarded…tense, but in a compassionate way. They weren't hostile.

A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. "I could tell."

"Warn me next time, would ya?"

He brushed his cold hand across my forehead, wiping away any signs of nervous perspiration. "I'll try to remember."

He ran his hand over my hair for a minute, trying to soothe my active nerves. When his body stiffened and his hand froze, so did I. Within moments, I was out of his arms and the lights were turned off.

"Get in bed!" His voice hissed. Frantically, I scooted to the other end of the bed and yanked the covers over me. Clenching the sheets and quenching my eyes shut, I prayed that if God existed, he would help me. I felt Edward's arms wrap around me under the sheets, and I held onto his hands for support.

_KnockKnock._ Time stopped. My hand tightly grasped Edward's.

"Shh. Don't make a sound," Edward whispered in my ear. Better, I stopped breathing and moving altogether.

I didn't open my eyes when the door opened, I knew who stood there. The lights remained off, and I heard the door close quietly. Compared to Edward, his footsteps were so loud, they startled me. When his footsteps stopped, it took all my will power to keep from whimpering. Fear swept through me. No one has ever known how scared I really am. Most people see me as a tough girl who likes to stand for herself. But when you put Phil into the equation, I'm no braver than a ten-year old.

He sat himself next to my head.

"Get up, Bella." His husky voice and awful breath indicated he'd been drinking again—bringing back memories.

_Today I finished my homework early in hopes of getting some sleep tonight; three to five just isn't enough sleep for me to focus in class. At twelve, I woke up to Phil stumbling into my room not-so gracefully. I immediately smelled booze._

"_Phil, you're drunk. Go to bed. I'm sure Renee would enjoy your drunken escapades." Just turning thirteen, I had a little more fight in me and attitude. Closing my eyes, I prayed Phil would listen to me just this once and go to bed._

_He huffed and gruffed his way over to my bed, flipping over the comforter, exposing my fully covered self. He huffed again in irritation. _

"_What are you doing dressed?" He demanded. "You know better than to disrespect me! Do you want me to hurt your mother again?" He whispered menacingly into my face, smelling his terrible breath. _

_Keeping my eyes closed—I didn't want to open my eyes and see him looming over me naked—I answered bravely. "I'm dressed because I thought because I have a geometry test tomorrow and that you might put me in your good graces and let me sleep so I can focus tomorrow in class. I guess it was a mistake to assume so blindly that you would be human about it," I sneered. _

_He flipped me over roughly. My eyes flew open in shock. His eyes were enraged. "Don't you _ever_ speak to me that way again." His voice frightened me. His rough hands yanked at my fleece pajama pants. Knowing I couldn't stop him, I just put Squishy over my face—covering up the whimpers that escaped my mouth when he pushed too hard—and let him have me._

_After Phil grew irate of me and bored—I refused to come for him—he slipped on his clothes again and left me naked and alone in my room. After giving myself another scar to look at, I got dressed and took my sheets downstairs. While my sheets were being washed, I sat on top of the washer and cried. I looked at the clock in the kitchen and made a decision to camp out in front of the school until it started. After putting on concealing clothes and packing my backpack, I went to school in the dark, hoping that the darkness would protect me._

"Bella, get _up_," he demanded again. Edward squeezed my hand again, telling me to be quiet. Phil didn't notice him laying next to me in the darkness. His hand went for my shirt. Panicking, I flipped over, curling myself into Edward's chest that felt cool even covered by layers of cotton. I felt horrified tears spring from my eyes. What was he waiting for?

Phil climbed on the bed and his arms snaked underneath the covers, taking hold of my pajama bottoms. A whimper escaped my lips and cringed. Before I knew what was happening, Edward was gone and the weight on the other side of me went away. The short silence lasted until I heard a crash into a nearby wall.

Edward's breathing sounded heavy. Phil, from what I could hear, struggled against Edward's grip.

"What are you doing in this girl's room at this hour?" Edward demanded in a harsh voice.

"I'm the girl's father," Phil choked out, obviously still struggling.

"And that gives you the right to sneak into her bed and violate her personal space? The authorities will hear of this." Only I could tell that Edward was holding himself back. His voice told me he wanted to rip Phil to pieces.

Phil croaked a laugh. "Yeah? What gives _you_ the authority to stay in a young girl's dorm room at this late hour?" He smirked, thinking he had Edward.

"I'm dorm security," he said without hesitation. "A student told me she knew someone was coming after her, I stayed until the designated time and—look who's here trying to rape a young girl." I felt a lot of things with Edward: trusted, safe, comfortable, lov—okay, we can get into that one later, but until now, I had never felt _fear_ in his presence.

All while this was happening, I sat—frozen—on the bed. When I regained mobility, I scooted off the bed and slowly made my way over to Edward. I put a gentle hand on his shoulder; all his furious shaking stopped.

"Edward," I said calmly, "let's get some assurances out of this…_then_ you can beat him to a pulp." Trying to ease his visible tension, I tried making a joke.

"He's drunk," he stated flatly. "He's not going to remember anything." The fury returned.

"Yes, he is," I conceded. "And if he does forget, then I'm positive the cops will remind him," I waved my cell phone in his peripheral vision. His position relaxed ever so slightly.

"Tell him everything you want and he _will_," Edward emphasized, "follow through." Edward sill kept a hand over Phil's throat. Another flashback passed through my mind.

_Jake pulled me over to his bike. What the hell is wrong with him?_

"_Jake, what the hell are you doing?" I asked, panic rising in my voice._

_He threw me the helmet to his bike. "Get on," he growled. I obeyed. "We are going to take care of this." Understanding him, but not understanding him at the same time, I kept quiet. We flew onto the highway and I gave him directions to my house. Renee had gone on another outrageous shopping spree with her unlimited American Express credit card._

_Jake pulled up into the gated driveway that I opened from the code. We got inside. Unlike everyone else that had been to my house, he didn't gape at every luxury that we had. He told me to grab a chair and bring it into the foyer. His barking commands kept me a little irritated, but I obeyed. After he gave himself a pat to the pocket of his riding leather jacket, we waited on the couch of the living room, watching re-runs of _Friends.

_We both heard it at the same time; we heard the garage door go up. Only one person comes home at exactly six…only one person keeps a precise schedule._

_Jake was in motion before my eyes. He realized Phil was coming in from the garage door near the kitchen. He pulled over a chair and turned off the lights. Scared myself, I stood in the corner, hoping to avoid whatever Jake had planned._

_The garage door went down, and Phil walked through the door whistling a happy tune…_

_Jake grabbed Phil's shirt and threw him into the chair in one swift motion. Phil, too shocked to react at the moment, looked at Jake as if to say, "_What the fuck?_"_

_In another quick motion, Jake reached into his jacket pocket pulling out—oh God—a pistol. A scream built up in my throat, but nothing came out. Shock took over my fear._

"_You are going to stop this you son of a bitch," Jake growled, pointing the gun to the center of his forehead. My hand reached out to stop Jake from bringing about chaos, but I drew it back to my body, realizing I didn't want to mess with Jake right now. "What you did to Bella is unforgiveable."_

_Sweat built up on Phil's forehead. He raised his hands up in white-flag surrender. "What the fuck is this? Some teenage boy is threatening my life because of some vicious rumors?" He laughed, but the unconvincing smirk was wiped off his face when Jake loaded the crude weapon._

"_Shut the fuck up," Jake said menacingly. _

_Phil scowled in defeat, finally figuring out his life is more valuable than a nightly fuck with a fourteen-year old. "Fine, what do you want?"_

_Jake looked at me with compassion. I couldn't say anything. Jake turned back to the monster sitting in the chair. "You won't ever, _ever_, touch Bella again. If I hear that you touch her, you are dead." Phil, still a little shaken from his close proximity with the gun, nodded. Jake turned to me again. "Anything you need to add?" All signs of fierceness disappeared._

_Did I? Yes. He should not get away with this. In a weak voice, I said, "don't threaten me with my mom's life." I told him. The guilt that swept through me that night never faded from my conscience._

_Jake nodded, turning fierce and impassive again when he turned to Phil. "You heard her. Now," he adjusted the angle of the gun, "will you agree to the conditions?" Jake had that whole death with a smile thing going on._

_Phil paused for a moment, thinking hard about the conditions. If this man had trouble choosing between his life and raping a little girl, he is senile._

_After what seemed like forever, he finally gave in. "Fine," he said. "I agree to your terms. Now can you get your fucking gun out of my face?" Jake, not smiling, withdrew his gun. _

"Bella!" Edward pulled my out of my reverie.

"Don't touch me or come near me ever again," I said feebly. Then added more firmly, "and if you ever threaten Renee's life again with your overpaid thugs again, I'll make sure you die in prison." They were empty threats, but I needed some of my bitch-bravado back.

Phil laughed a crazed laugh. "You think that you can put me away? You didn't put me away three years ago, what gives me the guarantee that you will now?" My stomach felt like it dropped to the floor. I'd been too much of a coward a few years ago. Not much has changed.

Edward saved my ass by saying, "she has me as a witness." Edward's fierce eyes turned to me. "Did you call them?" I held the phone in my hand, but I had no intentions of typing in the number.

Instead of saying anything, I turned around and put my face in my hand. To Phil, I said, "Get out of here. Don't ever come near me again. If you do, I won't hold him back from strangling you to death." I can't call the cops. Renee would be crushed if she knew what Phil had done. She would hate me and she would be alone again. Seeing my mom alone is probably one of the most heartbreaking sights in the world.

"Bella—"

I held my hand up for silence. "Just let him go Edward. He's not going to do anything stupid. Just get him out." I didn't want to say any more on the subject. I heard Edward mumble a few things to Phil before literally kicking his ass out of my room. After the door slammed, I slumped over.

Edward wrapped his arms around me. If any other guy did it, I would've that it was an intimate gesture saying _I want to rip your clothes off and kiss every square inch of you_. Edward always made it feel more like a comforting gesture. I liked that.

"Why," he whispered into my ear, "did you tell me to let him go?" I could hear a hint of frustration in his voice.

I sighed. "If I did call the cops, they would've found out everything."

Edward didn't understand. "Are you embarrassed?" The thought astounded him.

Shaking my head, I explained. "I'm not embarrassed. What do I have to be embarrassed about? It's _Renee_. If they found out about Phil, the authorities would've taken him away from her. Edward," I sighed, turning to face him. There was that flash of emotion in his eyes that I caught in his eyes again. "You haven't seen her alone. Hands down I think it's the saddest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't do that to her again." He raised his eyebrow. "Okay, so she's more of a bitch now, but she's at least happy with Phil. Dad—er, Charlie—and I never have to worry about her anymore. She's taken care of."

His eyes softened. He pressed his hands down on my shoulders and closed his eyes. "You are amazing," he said with pure admiration. Then he added, "And obnoxiously selfless." I scowled. His laugh sounded throughout my world.

Ignoring the comment, I slipped out from under his hands and went to curl up in bed. Exhausted, I fell asleep as I felt Edward slip into bed beside me and hold me tight.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: This is a really long chapter. I think it totaled up to eleven pages on word. Three POV's: Bella, Edward, and Rosalie. Rosalie lovers will like this chapter!**

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The way I always felt when Edward touched me is hard to explain. Relief washes over me and my entire body relaxes. But, there is also this unidentified feeling. I feel like I should know what it is, but my mind goes blank every time I try. His presence makes me happy, his conversations and activities entertain me, I never feel like I have to impress him with anything, and that makes me feel like I can be open with him without having to worry.

But I do worry. I'm being so open. Those occasional touches make me feel vulnerable, and it scares me. He never forces himself on me; always asking if I still want his company. It's very hard for me to trust people anymore, and I want to trust Edward, but my previous experiences prevent me from fully trusting him.

Edward's voice pulled me out of my restless sleep. "Bella, are you alright?"

My eyes fluttered opened, slowly adjusting to the morning light and Edward's dark eyes; concern clouded his eyes. "I'm fine. What day is it?" I sat up in bed and looked around for my phone. The soft light outside indicated it was morning.

"Friday. You have classes. But I will understand if you're not up to going. Esme and your teachers will understand."

Getting up and looking for a set of clothes to wear, I told him, "No, its okay. I need the distraction today anyways. If anything, I should be happy right now. Plus, I actually enjoy going to Esme's class. Art is fun, too. Calculus, eh, could live without it, but I'm not complaining." Even though I liked spending my days hanging with him, I still didn't want him to worry about me too much. I can take care of myself.

"I'll meet you outside." He said, exiting the room. I finally had time to think. I slipped on my uniform and went to the bathroom and view how bad I looked, which was pretty bad. Putting my hair up, I realized that I looked tired, so I put on a light layer of foundation to make me look semi-normal.

I went downstairs into the commons. Poonum sat with a couple of other girls gossiping. She saw me and jumped up to greet me.

"Hey Bella. Where have you been? We haven't seen you in a while." Poonum is so subtle.

"Yeah, I hung out with Alice Cullen yesterday and her brother, Edward. I don't really like hanging around my parents." Understatement of the century.

Her face stayed bright, like it always is. "Oh. I met your step-dad and mom." Her face scrunched up. "Your dad is a little creepy, and, no offense, but your mom looks kind of like a whore." I love how Poonum doesn't sugarcoat anything.

I laughed at her worried expression. "Don't worry about it. I agree with you. That was the most appropriate outfit she's worn in a long time. I was really surprised." We both laughed.

"Alice is a nice girl, though. I've only hung out with her a few times, but she is a lot of fun to hang out with; she has a lot of energy." Poonum laughed.

I smiled. "Yeah, she's really nice."

Poonum's face dimmed a little. "Her brother, Edward, I don't really know much about him. Emmett and Jasper are a riot to hang around, but Edward usually keeps to himself. He always hangs around in the stables with the horses. I've never seen it, but I heard he has quite a beauty in there." Her eyes sparkled with excitement.

I smiled. "Claire is beautiful. She has a shiny black coat and black mane. I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful. She runs like a dream, too, from what I've seen. I've only ridden Aphrodite." I shrugged.

She smiled. "That's cool that you do equestrian studies. I heard they don't really teach you to do anything really cool until your senior year. Well, only a couple more months!" She bounced off back to her group of friends.

I walked outside of the dorm and saw Edward waiting patiently against the wall. He looked normal, but I could tell something was bothering him. I let it go when he said hello.

"Hey. We should get going." We started walking and I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder. He looked at it speculatively, but didn't say anything.

Throughout the day, I saw Edward. After class, Edward, no matter where his class was, would be there waiting to take me to my next class. Against my will, he brought me to the cafeteria, where I ate my first lunch in a long time. At the end of the day, we went for a ride, laughing and telling horse stories the entire time.

I told him of the time Éclair and I had a huge argument on whether or not to jump. I was set on going, and Éclair was having a rebellious day. We stood next to the jump for ten minutes mentally battling it out. When I finally won, she just leapt over the 38' jump. I was stunned into silence; Éclair got her revenge.

This turned into a routine by the end of the week. We preferred each other's company above everyone else's. The gauntness left my face as my forced eating habits helped me put on more weight. Edward looked happy. On Friday, Edward looked a little down, and his eyes were black.

"What's wrong?" I asked him when I met him outside the girl's dorm. He looked a little uncomfortable.

"I have to go hunting today with everyone. I've prolonged it as much as possible." He looked a little repulsed.

I understood. "Edward, its fine. If you need to go then go. Don't make me be the reason you put yourself through discomfort. I'm mad at you for not going earlier," I said, feigning the anger in my voice. He smiled.

"Please except my sincerest apologies," he joked. I'm glad my teasing lifted his mood. I've had enough of the depressing mood. I've been in one for over four years. It's time for a change.

He stopped me in front of Esme's class. "I'll be back tomorrow morning, I promise. If you need anything, my cell phone number is in your address book. Don't hesitate to call if you need me." His black eyes bore into mine.

"Alright. Don't worry. I'll be fine." He gave me a sarcastic glare. "I will!" I proclaimed. "I'll hang out with Poonum tonight if that makes you happy. We'll hang out and watch movies and gush about how Orlando Bloom is the hottest man is alive." I laughed at how ridiculous the idea of me crushing on Orlando Bloom sounded.

Edward laughed lightly, too. "Alright. I think Rosalie is staying if you want to talk to her, too." He looked at me suggestively.

I thought about it, but decided to wait until the event passed over into neutral zone in my head where I can forgive her. "I'll think about it," I lied. The bell rang. I waved him goodbye. "Later dude. Go catch a mountain lion or something." I heard his laughter behind me.

"Bye Bella," I barely heard it, but it sounded…replete with something. The emotions that emanated between us still confused me.

The day passed by uneventfully. I had lunch with Poonum and a couple of her friends, including Zach. He fit in so well with the girls. He even had funny guy friends. He's the kind of person who can make friends with anyone. Even if he's gay, he's so charismatic.

When I got back to my room after dinner with Poonum and Zach, my phone rang. The number was unidentified.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Bells!" I heard Charlie's voice yell. Then nothing.

"Dad?" No answer. "Dad? Hello? Are you there?" Still no answer.

"Hello Bella," his sinister voice hissed into the phone. I nearly dropped the phone. My entire body froze. "I have my buddies here with dear old daddy Charlie. They are thinking about playing bloody knuckles with him later." He laughed. I got angry.

"What have you done you son of a bitch? If you touch Charlie, I swear to God I will chop your balls off and make you eat them." I growled.

"Oh, Bella, don't be so cross with me. Charlie is fine for now. I was just wondering if you would like to pay us a little visit. I would really love to see you." I heard the double meaning in his voice and felt sick to my stomach.

I swallowed my fear. "Where are you ass hole? You better pray to God Edward doesn't find out where I'm going." I threatened.

"Oh, you might not want to do that. You see, my fellas here don't really like unexpected company and they sometimes…lose their temper. You wouldn't want them to do that around Charlie, would you?"

I gritted my teeth. "No."

"Okay then. Please come back home to Texas. Renee is out of town for a while and I was wondering if you'd keep me company." Bastard.

"Fine." I hung up the phone.

My mind was spinning. I tried to get my thoughts organized: Phil has Charlie; he's going to kill him if I don't show up, and his thugs will kill Charlie if I bring Edward or call him. Either way I'm literally fucked.

Trying to pull some sort of plan out of my ass, I called the airlines to schedule a plane ticket to Dallas. It left tonight at ten. Then I called a cab service to pick me up at the front gates. After throwing my necessities into my messenger bag, I ran to the attendance office to get a pass to leave campus. I didn't really pay attention to the secretary's speculative glances because my mind was still reeling. I couldn't believe Phil would stoop this low: but for some reason, it didn't surprise me.

When I got into the cab, I told the driver, "JFK airport. If you get me there in under an hour and a half I'll pay you double the fare." I got to the airport in seventy-five minutes.

On the plane, I tried getting a hold of my bearings, but all I could think about is what I've done to Charlie: put him in danger by avoiding Phil. Everything I try only makes the ones I love suffer more. Nothing I do goes right. If life was just a whole school-learning process, I'd pretty much fail.

Edward called me a few times, I didn't answer. I can't put Charlie in any more danger than I already have. I received some pretty frantic text messages from Jake, but I ignored those, too. All I wanted right now is to be alone. When the plane finally loaded and took off, I finally achieved the solitude I had been hoping for.

I think I slept most of the way, because when I woke up, it was because of the airline pilot informing us the plane would be landing in five minutes. Remaining as calm as I could, I got off the plane and called for a taxi service.

The whole way I imagined how Edward and I would spend our weekend: riding horses, playing piano, competing who could play the fastest, arguing over how Debussy compares to Bach and Vivaldi, I always tried getting him into rock bands like Search the city, There for Tomorrow, and other music that mellowed me out. He stuck with classical and oldies.

The cab pulled up to Hell's mansion and I got out swiftly. I ran up towards the door, but stopping by to write "fuck you" on Phil's Porsche convertible in sharpie. If I didn't get out of this alive, at least he'd have something to remember me by.

When I ran into the house, it was dark, and just as how I remembered it.

"Daddy?" I called out. No one answered. "Daddy!" I called louder, a little more panicked. A sinister laugh echoed through the house. "Phil! What did you do with him?" Through the darkness, I saw Phil's muscular frame materialize at the end of the foyer. I stiffened.

"Hello Bella. I promise, your father is safe and sound back in his little town of Forks." I breathed a sigh of relief. Charlie wasn't here under the threat of his life. The only problem now was the threat of my life.

"You're not angry with me are you?" He sounded curious and hopeful.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Part of me is angry with you for abusing me my entire life and the other half is thankful that you didn't bring Charlie into this." I laughed a forced laugh. I had a feeling my breaking point was near.

"Strange, you mean it." He laughed. "Well, onto the rest of tonight's agenda." I gulped.

"Where is Renee?" I asked. I didn't want her to accidentally walk in, but part of me already knew she was safe.

Phil walked around me in the middle of the foyer. "Oh, Renee. She is in New York, where I told her to be." I gave him a confused look and he smiled.

"You didn't know?" He asked, feigning surprise. "Renee has been the one keeping track of you. If you thought I was in this alone, you were mistaken. I asked Renee to keep tabs on you. In return, she got an unlimited credit card and a shopping trip to New York City."

"Gold-digging bitch," I spat. It made sense now, why Edward got so pissed when he saw Renee. "What does she know about this?" I asked through my teeth.

He waved his hand dismissively. "I told her that you would go to the press with some photos of me drinking excessively and that it would ruin my reputation, decreasing my income." Figures. Her shopping input decreases, she's miserable, so she works for Phil, not having any idea what she was doing.

"If you touch me I swear to God my foot will end up three feet up your ass. Don't try anything. And I have a nasty feeling that Edward and some kick ass friends are going to be showing up soon." I crossed my arms and smiled menacingly, trying to hide the intense fear that I really felt.

Phil saw right through me. "Empty threats. You can't fight me. No matter how many defense classes you take, no matter how determined you are, you can't fight me. You enjoy me way too much." I gagged. The thought was that sickening. I had a good retort ready, but Phil stopped me by saying, "also, you wouldn't want me to _really _get Charlie involved, would you? Tell him all the details of our little interludes and tell him how much you enjoyed it…how you were a slut, begging for more."

"Shut the hell up, you bastard! That's not true! If anything, I begged for it to stop. I told you night after night to stop, but you never did." Tears stung in my eyes.

"Yes," he slurred. "But those were just a front, I remember a certain night a couple of years ago that you actually—"

"Stop it!" I shrieked. "I'm only human. It never happened again. Not once. Don't talk about it. Just shut up!" I put my hands over my ears, not wanting to relive that memory. The most nightmarish memory I have. The one Edward wakes me up from almost every night.

His hand brushed up my arm and I shivered…with fear. "Ah, but why would I not want to brag about it? It made you so happy. Did I really please you that much?" His hand wandered in places I didn't like touched.

I pulled away from him. Tears leaked out, but the darkness obscured them. "You horrified me. You have given me nightmares that never go away." I shivered.

He stopped. "Aww, isn't that sad? But I'm sure your boyfriend can hold you at night and make all the nightmares go away." I froze. Renee had picked up that much. "I know a lot more than you think."

"He's not my boyfriend," I contradicted. "He's my best friend. Leave him out of this." I warned.

He walked briskly towards me and grabbed my shoulders. "You are mine!" He shouted in my face. "No one besides me will ever touch you!" His eyes frightened me. They were lustful, murderous, and hateful at the same time. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

"I am not yours," I said firmly through my tears. I was angry at him for touching me again. "I am not anyone's!" I screamed back into his face. "I'm not a fucking piece of property! I am a free human being like everyone else in the fucking world! I AM NOT YOURS!" He took in my words for a moment before slapping me…hard. In fact, I think the skin might have broken. I didn't whimper or make a sound. Tears didn't even well up in my eyes. I was officially pissed.

"Don't you _ever_ speak to me like that again," he growled. He slapped me again, and this time, I completely passed out before feeling myself lifted into rough and eager arms.

**I was about to end it here, but I just couldn't stop! Imma writing fiend!**

EPOV

We had been searching for Bella for several hours. I was beginning to panic. We asked Poonum if she had seen Bella at all.

"Oh, yeah! Zach and I hung out with her at dinner and watched Pirates of the Caribbean. Orlando Bloom is so hot!" She squealed. If it had been any other circumstances, I would've laughed at Bella for being so right. But then she said, "Then she went back to her room, saying she felt like being alone. We let her." Great. That meant no one else saw her past eight o' clock.

When I heard Alice scream from Bella's room, I ran. Alice didn't scream.

When I got back to the room, Jasper was holding her, and her expression looked as if she had seen a ghost. I kneeled in front of her tiny form.

"Alice, what happened?" She looked at me with wild eyes. Then I saw Bella. She was thrown across a bed, wearing nothing but her underwear, a bruise and a cut on her cheek, and completely unconscious.

"Phil has her," she whispered.

I was in motion instantly, with Emmett and Rosalie along with me. Alice called out "you have two hours. She left a little more than an hour ago. She's on a plane." We ran out of the dorm and hopped into Rosalie's convertible, speeding all the way to the airport.

I was too mad to say anything, but Emmett and Rosalie weren't.

"That bastard is going to die. I don't care how he dies, but his ass is mine." He growled.

"He might have gotten away years ago, but his ass is mine now, Emmett." She argued.

"What?! Aw, c'mon Rose! At least let me get a piece of him!" I didn't understand how this is funny!

"You get one whack at him and he's dead. He needs to suffer," she growled. Emmett didn't argue. Then they finally saw my face. "Edward, are you alright?" Rosalie asked tentatively.

"Am I alright?!" I can't believe they had to ask! "Bella is about to get raped by someone I allowed to let go and you're asking me if I'm alright? No! I'm not!" I didn't mean to snap at them, but what was I to do with all this anger building up?

Emmett tried a different route. "Carlisle said to take a jet. He said it's faster than a passenger plane. Based on what Alice told us, we have some major ground to cover." He took the strategic route.

"Do you know where she lives?" Rose asked.

I nodded. "Yes. A little less than an hour away from the airport, so we should be able to make it there in fifteen minutes after we land. She said she lived in Frisco."

After we laid out a plan, it was pretty much a silent ride. On the jet, Emmett sat next to me.

"Alice said we're going to make it just in time. And when I say 'just' I literally mean—"

"I know Emmett." It came out a little fiercer than I intended. "Sorry."

"It's okay man. I understand. If something like that ever happened to Rose again, I'm pretty sure I'd be the same way, maybe even worse." He conceded.

If we were being honest, "I don't know how to explain it, Em. It's like when she's around, nothing else exists. When I heard about Renee and Phil, I felt so _angry_. I've never been so angry in my entire life. And when she's happy, I'm so happy. And God, when she _smiles,_" thinking about it made me feel as if my heart were still beating at a fluttering pace. "I can't stand it when she's upset or in danger."

"Isn't it obvious, Edward?" Rosalie interrupted. She poked her head in from the seat behind me.

I looked at her confused. "Isn't what obvious?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're in love with her Edward. I know exactly what you are talking about. You love Bella." When she said it out loud, it's like every strange emotion that occurred between Bella and I became clear. I loved Bella.

Emmett laughed. "It's like reality suddenly hit Eddie here in the face." Rose smacked him. "Ow!"

"It's not funny Emmett. Is that how you feel about our relationship? Just a blast of reality in the face? I thought ours was like living the dream," she wagged her eyebrows suggestively. "Guess I was wrong."

"Wait! I take it back!" He covered up quickly.

"Of course you do," she said.

They let me ponder the idea of loving Bella for the rest of the ride.

The jet landed, we all but leapt out of the plane. We ran for a rental and sped for Frisco. When we pulled up in front of the gated estate, we were a little taken back. We never expected Bella to come from so much money. She often told me she didn't. She said that she just barely made do with what she had. Now I'm not sure what she was talking about.

We almost ran straight into the house when I caught some black letters on the side of a red Porsche. The letters read, "FUCK YOU!" Emmett laughed; I allowed myself a smile before busting down the locked door and running inside.

I immediately recognized her smell. I ran upstairs and followed the scent with Emmett and Rose tailing me.

When I bust through the door, I saw what Alice had already showed me. Emmett and I ran to the bed and pulled Phil off of her. A feral growl escaped my lips when I saw he had been about to take her. Emmett's growl wasn't nearly as impressive.

He looked at us with angry eyes. "Who the hell are you?!"

Rose stood in the doorway, frozen, reliving her nightmare. What was she doing?! "Rose! Get Bella!"

Rose quickly snapped back and ran to pick up Bella. She took Bella out of the room while Emmett and I took care of the pitiful human lying on the floor in front of us…

RPOV

I didn't see Bella, I saw me. I saw myself lying in the street, my clothes torn, Royce and his friends walking away laughing, leaving me in pain. The memory took me by surprise. I haven't seen it so clearly before. Edward's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Rose! Get Bella!" I saw Bella again, and ran to pick her up.

I got my arms under her. "You are going to be okay," I whispered into her ear, hoping she could still hear me. Her heart was still beating, just slowly, as if she were sleeping.

I rushed out of the room and let Emmett and Edward take care of the monster. I took Bella to a room on the opposite end of the hall. I wasn't surprised to find it was hers. The room was a tangerine color. Her comforter was the color of midnight, which made her room look like Halloween. I laid her down and went to look for something to cover her up with. I was surprised when I walked into her closet to find the season's finest shoe collection. I ignored the amazing shoes and found a pair of sweats and a t-shirt to put on her. She was still unconscious after I slipped the clothes on her.

I sat by her, wondering how I could've ever let her be. Then I remembered what happened when we walked into the room. I saw me. Back then, I had been so scared of reliving the nightmare that killed me. Protecting the family was just an excuse. The real reason was that I was scared more than anything.

"'Bout time you figured that out," Edward's voice entered the room. I stood up and he kneeled on the floor next to Bella's head. He ran his thumb over her cheek, and I saw what I had for Emmett. I saw that burning desire to be with her; a much hotter flame than the flame of thirst that he suffered around her.

I met Emmett outside Bella's room. He wrapped a comforting arm around me. "Are you okay, Rosie?" His love and concern for me burned in his voice.

I looked up and smiled into his eyes. "I'm fine now."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Long chapter! I've been sick so I've had some spare time. All you Bella/Edward fans are going to love this chapter! This was a fun chapter to write. REVIEW! **

**FYI: We are coming to the end of this part of the story, but DO NOT FEAR! A sequal is on the way!**

**Chapter 15**

* * *

I don't know how long I had been sleeping, but when I woke up, Edward's chilled hand was running over my hair. His eyes weren't the brightest they had ever been, but at least they weren't black anymore.

"Bella," he breathed with relief. It sounded like a whisper.

"Hey partner," my voice sounded rough, soft, and groggy. I didn't understand where we were. I didn't understand why I was dressed in a pair of sweats that I never even brought with me to Hockaday. I didn't understand why I was staring at the Anberlin poster tacked to the ceiling of my old room. These were some of the things I left home in Texas. Bottom line: I don't remember anything. My heart rate started to pick up.

"Bella?" I barely heard what he said.

I looked at Edward. "Why aren't you speaking up? I can barely hear you." I adjusted myself so that both my ears were open, instead of on the pillow. "What happened? I don't remember anything." I couldn't help but feel that something awful happened. I remembered a sweet voice, telling me everything was going to be alright, strange noises, curses, but I don't remember anything else.

Edward looked as confused as I felt. "Bella, I'm talking to you normally. You don't remember anything? What's the last thing you remember?" I felt his hand grip mine tightly.

That's a really stupid question to ask somebody who doesn't remember much. I scrambled for memories in my head. "Um…I don't know," I admitted.

"Do you remember me going hunting?" He asked. Hunting? Oh, right. He told me once that he needed to go hunting every once in a while because he felt a little…thirsty.

"I remember you telling me about hunting trips, but I don't remember you actually going." He looked concerned. I tried to save myself, "wait, didn't you, um, walk me to class a couple of times?" Yes, I'm certain he did. "You met me after class one day. Actually, all my classes, right?" I didn't mean to sound so panicked.

He looked behind him. I saw who he was looking at: Emmett and Rosalie. I tried not to scowl at the utterly beautiful blonde. "We need to get back. Carlisle should take a look at her." They both nodded and left the room. He looked back at me and his eyes looked like they were at war with each other: worry vs. gratefulness. It irritated me to no end.

"What in hell happened?" I demanded. "Why can't I remember anything? Why does Carlisle need to look at me? What's going—" my tone grew more panicked. I tried sitting up on the bed, but the head rush and the killer headache forced me to lie down.

I felt his hand softly land on my cheek. "Shh, Bella, it's okay. We'll tell you, okay? We'll tell you when we get this figured out. I would prefer that you not remember at all, but I'm not sure if that's what you would want." He looked at me, deep in thought.

Now I am worried. "How much did I forget, if you're not going to tell me _what_ I forgot?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

He seemed to relax a little bit now that I gave up on the 'what did I forget' topic. "You've forgotten the last few days. It's nothing major, but we still want Carlisle to take a look at you." There was that flash of emotion again.

"My head hurts," I stated bluntly.

A frown appeared on his lips. "You hit your head on the stone floor in the foyer." He thought real hard on his next question. "Does your face hurt?" If it were any other person in the world, I would've congratulated the joke; I already know I look like shit. But this was Edward.

Anger bubbled to my lips. "What the hell, Edward? I already know I look like shit, you don't have to rub it in!" I expected him to apologize, but he just started laughing. "You think you are so funny, but I've got a news flash for you, Walter Klondike: you're not." I personalized my favorite quote from Zoolander. I said it a little more menacingly.

Edward shook his head. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I literally meant to ask if your face hurts. You've got a cut and a pretty nasty bruise." Oh. Whoops.

"Oh, I didn't know you meant it that way. Sorry. No, it doesn't really hurt; it just feels a little numb. How did I get it?" My hand went to my cheek and found it bandaged up. It startled me a little bit. Emmett walked in a moment later.

"Yes," was all Edward said before Emmett disappeared and Rosalie took his place in the doorway? Edward stiffened a bit, but relaxed a moment later. He looked at me again. "We are ready to get going. Can you walk?" I scoffed, sitting up and ignoring the head rush.

"Psh, of course I can walk—" I spoke a little too soon, because when I stood up, I nearly collapsed. I would've fallen to the floor if Edward hadn't caught me.

Edward lifted me bridal style into his capable arms. "Of course you can," he said with a wry smile on his lips.

"Wipe that smug little smile off your face before I do it for you," I warned, but it was an empty threat. Like I could ever hurt a vampire.

"I'd love to see you try," he said with the up most confidence.

"Shut the hell up," I grumbled. When we walked out of my old room, a lot of old memories came rushing back. Good memories. I remember the normal days (however few) when my nanny and I would play hide-and-go-seek, tag, bake cookies and weird deserts that only us and the servants ate. Phil and Renee only ate gourmet.

I saw a pool of blood at the bottom of the staircase and felt a little sick. Was that my blood? I shivered at the thought.

"Bella, are you alright?" He found my line of sight and told me to close my eyes. As if that would help me now. The image burned into my mind. Either that or there was much more to look at that he didn't want me to see. The possibilities were horrifying.

I heard the front door open and asked if I could open my eyes. It was twilight. The sun was just beginning to set. A couple of things caught my eye: Edward's luminous skin imbedded with diamonds, and words on the side of Phil's convertible that read, "FUCK YOU!" I would've laughed, except this only confused me more. Did Emmett write that?

"You have really pretty skin," I told Edward, tracing the sparkles on his skin. He laughed softly.

"It's why we can't go out into the sun. If people saw us, they'd see walking, talking diamonds. It'd draw suspicion. That's why we live in Ithaca." Now I understood. They had perfect skin in and out of the sun. Lucky bastards.

"My skin is so dull compared to yours." I knew that my thinking process was a little miffed, but I just kept talking. "Who wrote, 'FUCK YOU' on the car? Not that I object, but that was really smart and pretty damn hilarious. Can you imagine him showing up to practice with 'FUCK YOU' written on the car? God, I'd pay to see that one." Edward smiled sinisterly, but I didn't bother asking why.

We approached a large, black Mercedes. Emmett and Rose got in the front seats. When Edward put me in the back seat with him, he told me, "Go to sleep." I had no problem with that.

***

Sleep came easily, but peace didn't. I was in a pitch black room, screaming "Daddy!" I couldn't see anything. I walked, but didn't come in contact with anything.

_Phil's sinister laugh came out of nowhere. _

_I didn't know what was happening. "Don't touch me. If you try I swear to God that my size seven foot will be three feet up your ass." I threatened. This didn't make any sense! I was looking for Charlie, but ended up finding Phil? Wow, this dream is really fucked up._

"_Empty threats. You can't fight me. No matter how many defense classes you take, no matter how determined you are, you can't fight me. You enjoy me way too much." I gagged. The thought was that sickening. I had a good retort ready, but Phil stopped me by saying, "also, you wouldn't want me to __really __get Charlie involved, would you? Tell him all the details of our little interludes and tell him how much you enjoyed it…how you were a slut, begging for more."_

"_Shut the hell up, you bastard! That's not true! If anything, I begged for it to stop. I told you night after night to stop, but you never did." Tears stung in my eyes._

"_Yes," he slurred. "But those were just a front, I remember a certain night a couple of years ago that you actually—"_

"_Stop it!" I shrieked. "I'm only human. It never happened again. Not once. Don't talk about it. Just shut up!" I put my hands over my ears, not wanting to relive that memory. The most nightmarish memory I have. The one Edward wakes me up from almost every night._

_His hand brushed up my arm and I shivered…with fear. "Ah, but why would I not want to brag about it? It made you so happy. Did I really please you that much?" His hand wandered in places I didn't like touched._

_I pulled away from him. Tears leaked out, but the darkness obscured them. "You horrified me. You have given me nightmares that never go away." I shivered._

_He stopped. "Aww, isn't that sad? But I'm sure your boyfriend can hold you at night and make all the nightmares go away." I froze. Renee had picked up that much. "I know a lot more than you think."_

"_He's not my boyfriend," I contradicted. "He's my best friend. Leave him out of this." I warned._

_He walked briskly towards me and grabbed my shoulders. "You are mine!" He shouted in my face. "No one besides me will ever touch you!" His eyes frightened me. They were lustful, murderous, and hateful at the same time. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry._

"_I am not yours," I said firmly through my tears. I was angry at him for touching me again. "I am not anyone's!" I screamed back into his face. "I'm not a fucking piece of property! I am a free human being like everyone else in the fucking world! I AM NOT YOURS!" He took in my words for a moment before slapping me…hard. In fact, I think the skin might have broken. I didn't whimper or make a sound. Tears didn't even well up in my eyes. I was officially pissed._

"_Don't you __ever__ speak to me like that again," he growled. He slapped me again, I shrieked._

"Bella!" I awoke with a start. I looked up to find why I woke up: Edward was shaking me with the most frightened expression in his eyes. His hair was messier than usual.

"Wha-what?" I stuttered, not understanding his expression. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" Why was he so scared?

He relaxed a little bit, but his eyes still held a bit of worry. "You started screaming," he said. "And it wasn't just a scream; it was a blood-curdling scream." He winced. Then he looked down at me. "What were you dreaming about?" The look on his face told me he already knew.

I had to think about it. "I don't know," I said honestly. "One second I'm looking for Charlie and the next, I'm in this pitch black place and Phil was screaming and yelling at me," tears stung in my eyes. "I don't know. I don't remember." I suddenly became very frustrated.

"God damn it! Why can't I remember anything?! I feel like I should know where all of this is coming from, but I just _can't_ remember!" Edward's hands cupped my face.

"Shh, Bella, it's okay that you don't remember." He brushed stray hairs away from my face. I looked past his face for a moment and saw very high ceilings.

"Do you mind if I call Charlie?" I asked. In the dream, I wasn't scared of being without Charlie, I was scared_ for_ Charlie. I felt like I should know why.

He grabbed something from behind him; my phone, and handed it to me. "Thanks," I mumbled, too busy searching for Charlie's number. The phone started to ring…once…twice…three times, I started getting nervous. He answered on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" Answered a cheerful Charlie.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Hey dad." I greeted.

"Bella! How are you baby girl?" Ugh, not that name again!

"Daddy! Don't call me that, but I'm fine. Are you okay?" My dream still worried me.

"I'm fine hon. why?" He sounded worried.

"No reason," I lied.

He didn't sound convinced, but he let it slide. "So when are you going to come and visit your old man? I haven't seen you in ages." He tried sounding fun, but I could tell he really missed me.

I thought about it. "Spring break is coming up in a few weeks. How about then?" Stunned silence followed. I guess he was a little surprised that I'd be coming to see him so soon.

"That's sounds great!" He finally choked out. I smiled at his excitement. "What day?" I heard him scrambling for a pen.

"Um, March third to the tenth. Is that okay?" I didn't want to impose anything.

"Of course! Your welcome here anytime kiddo." I guess he'll never let go of the kiddy names…but I really didn't mind. I didn't really get to experience a childhood after Renee took me away.

"Okay. I'll see you then. I've got to go, but I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Alright hon. I love you and I'll talk to you later."

_I love you_. Those words were like a protective blanket to me. "I love you, too Dad. Bye."

We hung up and I gave Edward back my phone. I didn't really want to talk to anybody for a while. Edward took it without hesitation. The phone hasn't been my best friend for a while.

"Where are we?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"We're back at my place. Carlisle wanted to see you himself and thought that taking you to the hospital would've been unnecessary." He shrugged. "I hope you don't mind."

I scoffed. "Damn straight it would've been unnecessary. And no, by the way, I don't mind. It's nice here; very relaxing." I looked around. I was in the family room on the white couch. I felt very comfortable, but I still wanted to get up and around. I sat up and Edward gave me some space. "Man I need to get out. Let's go horseback riding. I don't want the horses to think we're neglecting them." I sat up too quickly for Edward to stop me.

"Whoa," he grabbed my wrist, but I didn't flinch. "Where do you think you're going?" He had that smug smile on his lips. I wanted to slap him, though I'd probably just end up hurting myself.

"Uh, to the stables? To ride the pretty ponies?" I tried giving him my most convincing I'm-perfectly-fine smile, but he didn't buy it.

"Uh, no you're not. You had a pretty bad concussion and riding a horse is not exactly safety conscious behavior." He tried pulling me back to the couch, but I was pulling in the opposite direction.

"No!" I whined. "I'm tired of sitting down and doing nothing! Why do you have to make my life so boring?"

"Carlisle thinks that you will heal faster if you stay here." He said uncaringly.

"Bullshit. Let me go!" He gave up trying to pull me and just picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

I heard laughter and looked towards the kitchen where I saw Carlisle and Esme giggling.

"Carlisle!" I grabbed his attention. "Tell Edward I'm fine and I can go! Sitting and doing nothing is torture!" Carlisle just shook his head.

"Edward, really, it's okay. If she wants to go horseback riding, then take her. She'll probably go crazy within the next hour if she stays. The last thing we need is another crazy teenager in the house." Edward kept walking out the front door, but didn't put me down.

Instead of putting me on the couch, he started walking towards the front door. "Don't you _dare_ fart." I could hear the eruption of laughter inside the house. "It's not supposed to be funny, you morons!" They kept on laughing anyways. Finally, Edward put me down and tossed me a bike helmet.

He put on his red and black riding jacket. When I searched for an adjective, the only thing I could come up with was downright sexy. _Friend, you moron! How about 'spiffy'? That works much better, _I thought to myself.

"Dayamn. You are looking pretty spiffy there hot-shot." I complemented him putting on my helmet. I sat on the back edge of the bike.

He studied me for a second. "Eh, you don't look too bad yourself, given the circumstances," he smiled to himself, but I let it go. The roads were pretty clear today. But I realized I had no idea what day it was, but I didn't care. We arrived at the school gates and we walked to the barn.

While we were tacking the horses, I finally asked, "what day is it, Edward?" The question caught him off guard. He stopped for a second.

"It's Sunday, why?" His tone sounded cautious.

I shrugged, "just wondering. I didn't know if the students were in class today or what. That's all." Really I just wanted to know how long I'd been out. The last day I remember was a Thursday, so I had forgotten the last few days. At least it wasn't anything like a few years.

We took a trail and rode out to an open field. For the longest time we just sat in the grass looking at the gray sky. The clouds held no shape; just one big blanket over the sky. I kept trying to think of anything that happened after Thursday, but nothing came up.

"Edward, why won't you tell me what I've forgotten? I mean, I ended up in Texas for God's sake. Something must have happened that drew me down there." Silence. "Edward, I'm sure I can handle whatever it is." The silence that followed said that he didn't believe me.

"Do you ever wish that you could forget everything that Phil did to you? Do you ever just want it all to not exist?" The question caught me off guard.

I thought about it, but I didn't have to think for very long. "All the time. Before you came along and it was just me and Jake, sometimes I'd play pretend and act like none of it ever happened. Jake and I would make up stories of how we met instead of the embarrassing way that we did. But," I sighed. "I would give anything to forget what happened. But on the bright side, I would've never made such a good friend." I chanced a look at him and found him staring at me. Embarrassed, I looked away.

Then something dawned on me. "Phil got me to go to Texas." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward flinch. "Edward, tell me what happened." Nothing.

An old truth seeking technique from a couple of years ago came to my attention.

"_Jake, what did you two do?" Jake disappeared with Leah a long time ago. I could only think of one thing that would take up so much time._

_Jake glared at me as he sat back down on the couch. "None of your damn business," he grumbled, but I could see the blush on his cheeks._

"_C'mon Jake! You're killing me here! You're twenty for God's sake. This shouldn't embarrass you, especially when you're talking with the most fucked with person here." I meant it literally._

"_Don't talk about that Iz." He looked at me sympathetically. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it._

_I walked right over to him and planted one right on his lips; just a quick one. "Now will you tell me?" He looked a little stunned._

"_Iz! Don't do that!" He wiped his mouth. I planted another one. "For Christ's sake! What?"_

"_Tell me!" I laughed._

_He smiled. "No!" _

"_I'll do it again," I leaned in for another one._

"_Okay, okay," he held his hands up in surrender. "I'll tell you." He explained that, yeah he just got laid, but it wasn't the most magical thing in the world._

I rolled over and crawled over to Edward. He looked at me, a little confused. But the look on his face when I stood over him was priceless.

"You are at my mercy now. Tell me what happened."

"Nope." He shook his head.

"Are you sure you want to stick with that answer?" I asked warningly.

He kept the same expression. "Positive."

I kissed him. The shock that went through my body took me by surprise, but I kept a straight face and pulled away from him. He was smiling.

"What was that for?" I frowned.

"Weird, it worked on Jake." I racked my brain for a logical explanation.

Edward frowned. "You did that to Jake?" He raised an eyebrow. I didn't notice I was still sitting on top of him.

"Yeah, I used to do that to him when he tried to keep something from me. He hated it when I did it to him so I only had to do it a few times. But it didn't work on you. Why?" I asked myself. Edward's answer caught me totally off guard.

"I don't know, but I wouldn't mind if you did it again." I raised my eyebrows. Did he feel it, too? He just looked up at me and smiled.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really." He said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I love how you trust me more than anybody. I love how when you smile, your eyes sort of crinkle at the corners. I love how you don't care that your hair gets tangled when it's down. I love it how you can make a joke out of any serious situation, you always have a reason for something, everything you do is with passion, you care more for others more than you care for yourself even when others don't care for you back, and you feel comfortable in strange situations." His honesty made my heart flutter.

I fought back the blush, but I didn't move. "That's quite a speech there, Hot-shot. I appreciate the honesty." I pretended to take his confession casually, but my heart was going a mile a minute. "So you felt the shock?" He nodded. "You don't care that I've cut myself since I was thirteen?"

"Nope."

"You don't care that I think pissing people off is fun?"

Amusement shone in his eyes. "No. I find it highly entertaining."

"You don't care that even though I have high end clothing, I choose to wear cheap-o sweats?"

"I love it."

"You don't care that my life is more fucked up than Michael Jackson's?" His arms wrapped around my waist.

"Nope."

"You don't care that I cuss in every other sentence?" He pulled me down on top of him and I sat on my elbows with my chin in my hand.

"You haven't heard me in a rampage."

"Do you feel the temptation I feel right now?" Our faces were less than five centimeters apart.

"Ten fold."

I kissed him, slower that the first time. "Will you tell me now?"

"No."

I kissed him again, much slower. "Will you tell me now?" I whispered against his lips.

"No." He said with finality. I kissed him, but I didn't pull away. Our lips were barely touching at first, but the flames slowly enveloped us, intensifying the kiss. His arms held onto me like I would fly away at any second. At that moment, everything in the world felt right.

I finally knew what that flicker of emotion was that I saw in Edward's eyes. It was love. Our feelings for each other weren't forced, but they came naturally. Our relationship was so easy that we thought friendship would be enough. We just didn't know what fire what slowly building up inside. When we kissed, it was like breathing again after a long time of drowning. I now understood what he meant by 'comfortable in strange situations.' Even in a house full of vampires, I felt completely at home. Even when I was straddled on top of Edward, I did not think of how our position would be interpreted. It felt…normal to me.

When we pulled back, he only smiled at me. It made me blush.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," he brushed his fingertips along the hot spots on my cheeks.

"UGH," I groaned, rolling off of him and covering my face. "Way to kill my buzz, Edward. Way. To. Go." I hated my blush almost as much as I hate what Phil did to me.

I heard Edward's enchanting laughter. I could feel that he was standing over me, but I still didn't look.

"Bella, it's nothing to be ashamed of. It makes you look even more beautiful than you already are." My face was in flames.

"You know, if you talked with an English accent, you'd totally have this love talk shit down." I felt a little bit of the blush go away with the cussing, so I uncovered my face. He was kneeling over me with a smirk on his face.

"You really think so?" He asked jokingly.

"Hell yeah. You should try it sometime." I felt something wet hit my face. A raindrop. It was followed by many others. I smiled and stood up. The cool rain felt so good.

"We should get back," Edward said.

I frowned. "Why? Vampires don't like the rain?"

He smiled. "We love the water, but I still don't want you getting a cold by standing out in the rain for too long."

I looked up into the rain. "I like it, too. It's like it washes away all impurities. I love the way it feels when the raindrops hit my face. It feels good." I looked up into the rain and let it hit my face. My hair was going to get soaked, but I didn't give a shit.

Edward surprised me by picking me up quickly and sitting me on Aphrodite. I glared. "What gives?" I mumbled. Before he was even on his horse, I yelled over the rain, "Race you back!" and took off. It didn't take long for him to catch up with me.

We were pretty much tied all the way back to the stables. After putting away the tack, he found me brushing out Aphrodite. He leaned on the stall gate.

"You know, the stable hands can get that for you," he said.

I shrugged. "I know, but I feel like it's my responsibility. I like having something to take care of. Unless I earn it, it doesn't feel like mine. I'm sure Rosalie saw all the designer shoes in my closet back home. I'm assuming she's the one that found the sweats." Edward nodded. "I don't wear them because Phil bought them. Yes, it's a shame that they will never be worn, and really I do like them, but they aren't mine." I heard him jump the gate and felt his arms wrap around me.

"You really are amazing, you know that right?" He whispered in my ear.

I smiled. "That's the love talking, Edward. Just the love."

"It's true." He said persuasively.

"Okay, now you're just trying to get into my pants." I joked.

"I wouldn't dream of it." I stopped brushing and turned around.

I looked straight into his eyes. "You're talking through your ass. I can see you undressing me in your mind this very moment." He laughed.

"You caught me." He kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I heard Aphrodite turn around to eat her dinner. I smiled against Edward's lips.

"Bella! Are you in here?" I gasped at Poonum's voice. Edward was in the next stall brushing Claire in an instant.

I saw her come in through the entryway and eye us both suspiciously. "There you are. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted a repeat of a couple nights ago. Zach and I got a hold of the movie 'Troy' with more Orlando Bloom." I was confused. Repeat? What was she talking about? Edward answered for me.

"She'd love to." I just nodded in agreement.

Poonum smiled. "Okay! I'll see you tonight then." She was just about to walk out when she turned around with a thinking expression. "Wait, when I walked in here, were you two…?" She pointed at the two of us.

"Just go Poonum!" Edward and I said at the same time. We laughed and Poonum smiled broadly as she left.

I put Aphrodite's brush away and let her be for the night. Edward was leaning up against Claire's gate waiting for me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Word's out. What are we going to do now?" I asked. I didn't really care, but I just wanted to know what he thought.

He smiled down at me. "Does it look like I give a damn?" He asked. I laughed and kissed him for a few moments.

"Hey, as long as you keep kissing me like that I'm fine." I laughed and we locked up for the night.

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**Bella has forgotten how she ended up in Texas and why. When Phil slapped her and she passed out, she hit her head and now has a minor case of amnesia. Now Edward and Bella are together! Yay! But not all of Bella's problems have been solved. dun-Duhn-DUHN!!!**

**If you want me to heal and get better, REVIEW!**


	16. Chapter 16

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A/N: I felt like being evil on this chapter. For all you Jake lovers (Grrr), he is making his way back into the story. Next chapter will be in more detail to his recent activities. WARNING! : CLIFF HANGER!

**Chapter 16**

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"Have you heard from Jake lately?" I asked Edward.

Our lunch hour had been relatively quiet. Kids murmured amongst their small groups and lived in their own little world while people like Edward and I (people watchers) observed. Some people called it stalking, I called it sociology: the study of the human in public. Edward once said that I talked like I wasn't one…I just laughed and said, "Edward, I need to tell you something…" That made him burst into laughter.

Edward stiffened a little bit at my question. "No, why?" His eyes were wide and honest, but the split second of hesitation told me his answer was flawed.

I shook my head. "Nothing, it's just," I sighed. "I haven't heard from him in forever and it's just not like him to not call me at least six out of seven days a week. I tried calling him a few times, but I think he turned off his phone." I poked around the pasta on my plate, not really hungry.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it. Jake can take care of himself." I waited him to loosen up his jaw and his eyes, but he didn't let up.

"And you are _sure_," I paused to give him a good eye, "you haven't heard from him? Don't know where he is? What he's doing?" He turned away and looked at Emmett pissing off Jasper by spilling his milk all over him. They always got rid of their food this way. It didn't arouse suspicion.

He turned to look at me. His eyes, a little darker than normal, looked tight and firm. "I'm positive." I rolled my eyes at him. For a brief moment, I thought that if we were playing BS right now, he'd totally lose.

I raised my hands in surrender. "Fine, fine, whatever." He looked at Jasper and Emmett's group again, this time frowning when he saw Jasper 'accidentally' flicked his spoon of mashed potatoes in Emmett's face.

"High school never ends by Bowling for soup." He could never win this game.

"Teenagers by My Chemical Romance."

This game sort of developed on its own. Whenever we saw something, we could always relate it to a song. Music always turned up in our conversations, so began the game. We see a situation, name a song, then try to best each other out in whose song can get closer to what was really happening. I usually won.

"Animal by Mindless Self Indulgence," he tried.

"Oh no, if you're going that route, I'd choose Vegas by All Time Low. That sounds exactly like them." I shook my head and laughed at their immaturity.

"Hmm," Edward thought. "Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name Of this song so we wouldn't get sued by Fall Out Boy." Shit. His lips formed into a crooked smile as he saw my struggle to top him. Something clicked.

I smiled wickedly. "Oh-ho, nice try. Top this: 96 Quite Bitter Beings by CKY." I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms. There's no way he can top that one. To my great pleasure, his crooked grin turned into a deep frown.

"This Ain't a Scene by Fall Out Boy," his attempt made me pity him.

"Nope. I win again!" I threw my hands up in the air in victory. He smiled.

"If I could read your mind you wouldn't stand a chance." He tried to sound threatening, but the sweet smile on his face didn't go away.

I reached over the table and patted his hand in pity. "Keep telling yourself if it makes you feel better." I meant it as a joke, but Edward grabbed my hand before I could pull it away. Not that I minded.

His eyes went tender. "I don't care as long as you keep smiling like that." I blushed; the comment caught me off guard. I looked at Emmett and Jasper again, who were now being chastised by their girlfriends for inappropriate cafeteria behavior. They had that, "I am being very attentive" look on their face, but I could tell they were just thinking up new strategies.

I winked at Edward. Picking up two meatballs off my plate, I handed Edward one. He raised his eyebrows in interest. He smiled as he understood.

Knowing they had to ignore their unworldly reflexes in public, Edward and I aimed and fired at the invisible targets on the back of Jasper and Emmett's heads. We immediately started to get up as soon as the crude weapons were out of our hands. We listened carefully as the meatballs came in contact with the targets.

I could feel two pairs of eyes on my back, but I kept walking and kept my ears pealed for any on-coming danger from Edward's very immature brothers. Then again, I also had Alice and Rosalie on my side. Jasper and Emmett can't pull anything with those two around.

Rosalie and I are on friendly terms now. We can both relate to each other and empathize. After whatever accident I had and ended up in Texas, Rose has always been there for me. She is a little snooty and spoiled, but she does have her moments. She doesn't look down on me, but treats me as an equal. I loved being treated like a human being, and not a damn piece of property.

Edward nudged my arm and leaned in to whisper, "they are thinking obscenities towards us." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I smiled wickedly. "They had it coming for them," I said loud enough for them to hear. Okay, so I was being a hypocrite, but I was having a damn good time being one. Edward smiled.

"You couldn't have spoken truer words." He took my hand and we walked out of the cafeteria and started walking towards my next class. His hand wrapped perfectly around mine, as if they were meant to be there.

"Speaking of true words, would you mind telling me where my best friend is? I am seriously worried. When he makes a promise to call, he doesn't skip out. This is so unlike him," I droned on and on about how out of character this was. When I started talking about going back to check on him, Edward quickly refrained his story.

"Bella, that's really unnecessary. I talked with him just the other day, he's doing just fine. He's just taking care of a few things." I really hate cliff hangers, and the expression on his face…he definitely left something hanging.

"Such as?" I pried.

He opened his mouth and quickly closed it. Choosing his words carefully, he said, "I'm not at liberty to tell you." The nerve!

"Like hell it is!" I yanked my hand out of his. I looked at him straight in the eye. "What is going on? Why isn't Jake talking to me? Did I do something wrong? Hey, if it's about my issues, I swear to God I haven't—"

"No, no! It's nothing like that, I swear Bella. He's not purposely avoiding you; he's just really busy at the moment." Since when did he know so much?

We'd stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk and the small green area surrounded us, as well as a few onlookers. "Is it about what happened a week ago?" I asked quietly towards the ground. My hands clenched into fists in frustration.

It took several long, agonizing seconds before Edward answered me. "Something like that." I felt angry tears begin to well up in my eyes. At the moment, I wanted to throw a fist into someone's face (particularly Edward's, but I'd only end up hurting myself). Why was he so insistent on keeping this a secret from me?

Instead of thinking irrationally, I turned on my heel (military style) and started walking away. It would've been the coolest dramatic exit ever if Edward hadn't caught up with me so easily. Damn stupid vampire speed.

"Bella, it's really nothing you should worry about. Jake can take care of himself, so just trust him to take care of you."

"How is he taking care of me when he's practically putting me into cardiac arrest by neglecting to call me? How could anyone, in their right mind, find any logic in that? This is ridiculous! I'm sure I can handle whatever this big bad secret is that has you forcing me to cower in a fucking corner! Have some faith, will you? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I feel like I'm talking to a wall!" I screeched and continued on my way to my next class. Edward didn't follow me.

It was a good thing, too. I needed to blow off some major steam, and Edward usually isn't the target of my angry paroxysms. I didn't bother looking back at him. I felt like I needed to run into his arms…but I didn't want to right now. It's strange. I felt this irresistible pull around him that I wanted to resist right now. He's keeping a secret from me, and he knows that secrets can kill me. It's foolish of him to think something that came so close to killing me before is going to save me now. Damn fool.

Class went by unproductively. I pretended to study a serious math problem while really I was just watching music videos on my iPod. I wanted to escape, and music seemed to help a lot. Theory of a Dead Man filled my ears with a soft harmony mixed with a rough voice. Any time I got too absorbed into the music, I felt as if I could cry. I never did, but sometimes the lyrics hit the home plate. I once told Edward that I couldn't imagine life without music. It's become such a huge part of my life, and if anyone were to take it away, they'd be taking the life out of me.

I ignored the suspicious stares of my calculus teacher and walked out of class, knowing that the end of my day would not come so soon. Equestrian studies is one of my favorite classes (along with art), but with Edward hovering like a fucking helicopter—making sure you don't do anything stupid or self mutilating—his presence tends to be very obnoxious and I quickly became claustrophobic.

I put down my art portfolio near Aphrodite's stall and found her already tacked up. I looked to my left and found Edward ready to go.

"Suck up," I muttered. I slipped on my boots and turned around to find Edward looking at my most recent art project. "No!" I surged forward to get it out of his hand, but the damage was done. He'd seen it all.

He speculated the drawing more. I folded my arms and impatiently juggled my weight on my legs, jumping a little bit to wear out some of the frustration I felt towards Edward at the moment.

"Bella, this is beautiful." I looked up at him and my body stopped being restless. He looked at me with pure pride and admiration. My heart swelled a little bit. Most of my anxieties were forgotten…most of them.

"I was kind of sick and tired of doing portraits, so I switched to still objects with personality. It's not even finished and it's a piece of shit." I looked at the partly shaded and angled picture of hands on a piano. The monotone black and white seemed appropriate.

Edward glared. "That's a bunch of bullshit Bella. You are a wonderful artist. Have more faith in your abilities." He put my drawing back into the portfolio before walking over to me and wrapping his arms firmly around my waist.

I rested my head on his hard chest in content. Its strange how much happier we are now as a couple than as friends. It's also strange how comfortably I fit into his arms and how perfectly our hands fit together. We were two pieces of a puzzle.

"If you keep doing this to me I'm going to forget the reason I was ever made at you. Let go before I actually like you again." A smile cracked on my lips.

Chuckles escaped from Edward's lips and he pulled away. Stepping back to take Claire's reigns, he said, "God forbid you from liking me ever again," he rolled his eyes and chuckled again. I shoved him playfully and we made our way out into the fields.

Because Edward wasn't on ground running, he gave me the better advantage on the races. I beat him to and the field and back to the stables.

"Maybe you should work more on control. Claire seemed to wander off in the open plain. Make sure you know where you are going," I advised Edward.

He snickered. "Why do you think I let you win?" That stopped me in my tracks.

"You what?" My voice reaching a higher octave. He knew how hard I worked to achieve my goals, and throwing the game is not an option for me.

He grinned innocently. "You didn't think you could seriously beat me, did you?" I nearly threw horse manure at him. The nerve!

In a strained voice, I asked, "So you let me get my hopes up for beating you?" I changed my tone. "Do you want horse manure in your face, or do you prefer soiled hay?" I asked lightly. Aphrodite neighed when I yanked the brush out of her mane in anger.

He kept the grin on his face. "I didn't know I'd get your hopes up, but the view from behind was so lovely," I threw the brush at him, knowing he would catch it. His smile became more sincere. "Also, I just love the victorious smile on your face when you achieve something. It's my favorite smile of yours." I never thought it possible to want to murder someone and love them with a passion at the same time, but he just proved me wrong.

I smiled. "Wipe that stupid grin off your face before I do it for you," I warned, putting away the brush he kindly handed back to me.

"I'd love to see you try," he laughed. I took it as a challenge. When I walked out of the stall, he still had that goofy grin on his face. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed with all that I had. Had I ever felt so happy before?

When I finally pulled away, he held his arms around my waist. "What was that for?" He asked with a smile.

I kissed him again. "I was wiping that stupid grin off your face," I smiled victoriously. He smiled a genuine smile.

He sighed. "And to think I could ever get away with it," He laughed before pulling my lips to his again. He held me in his arms for such a lovely amount of time. When we finally pulled away and turned to walk out, I met the beautiful brown eyes of Poonum with a wicked smile on her face.

She folded her arms across her chest and altered her weight onto one leg. "My astute senses tell me someone is in _loooooove_," she laughed. I ran over and tackled her. Her screams/laughs filled the stables, arousing a few of the horses.

"And I think someone needs to quit spying on other people when they are having a moment," I argued.

She shook her head when I let her out of a headlock. "Spying is an ugly word. I merely call it probing, you know, like a reporter." She shrugged. We walked out of the stables together.

"That excuse would work if you were a reporter. What are we? A gossip column for you? No one else is really interested in us anyways…with the exception of Zach, and that's only because he thinks Edward is the hottest thing that ever walked the earth. And he is," I added.

Poonum rolled her eyes. "Well, anyways, I just came here to tell you that I have a cello concert this weekend and if you want to come, you can." She shrugged.

I stopped in my tracks. "You play cello?" News to me! "Why didn't you tell me? I would love to hear you play!"

She folded her arms and pursed her lips. "And when were you going to tell me you could play the piano like a fucking prodigy?"

"How did you—" I glared at Edward. He kept that straight face that only I could tell was fake. "Well, A) I don't play the piano like a fucking prodigy, you seemed to have mistaken me for Edward," I scowled at him and Poonum laughed. "And B) I wasn't going to tell you because it's just something I do in my spare time. I don't perform in concerts or anything." I turned my attention back to Poonum.

"Bitch, bitch, bitch," she rolled her eyes. "Well, come anyways. It's going to be really boring, but later on in the day they have some really awesome players. So I'll see you there?" She started to walk away.

"Most definitely." I waved bye to her.

"Poonum's a good person." Edward said, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I thought about it. "She really is. Besides her dirty mouth, she's probably one of the sweetest, most welcoming people I know. She's going to do well in the world. She can stand for herself and she knows what she really believes in. She has integrity."

"Her mind is so pure. She doesn't really have a bad thought about anyone."

Bleh. "Yeah, that whole, 'I can read anyone's mind at any moment' thing still kind of squicks me out. I am grateful that you can't read mine, but I feel sorrow for the suckers that have to put up with you 24/7." Poor Alice.

"So you consider yourself a sucker now that you're stuck with me 24/7?" He was smiling, but there was still worry behind it.

I patted his back in comfort. "Nope. I consider myself amongst the lucky. How many people get a fantastic gentleman, a fun guy, a knight in shining armor, and a best friend all in one person? God, can you imagine the possibilities for me if I hadn't met you?" I laughed it off.

Edward kinda scared me with his tone. "The possibilities are horrifying," he said in a low voice.

"Chillax. I was only thinking," he cut me off.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Shut the hell up." I snapped. "As I was saying," I paused to see if there were going to be any more interruptions. "I don't think my life would've turned out as good if I hadn't met you. You make life interesting." We walked to the cafeteria where they were serving dinner.

We passed the administrative office on our way and Edward stiffened up like a rock (more so than he already was). His eyes grew guarded.

"Edward?" I tapped his arm, but he didn't listen to me. More seriously, I asked, "Edward, what is wrong?" He looked down at me and continued moving towards the cafeteria.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, your emotions are more erratic than a kid with turrets. Vampire turrets syndrome, that's a new one." I laughed. I saw Edward break a smile.

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. "Really?" He asked.

I laughed to his lower back. "Uh, yeah. Two seconds ago you went all guard dog on me and now you are picking up girls and throwing them over your shoulder. Teachers are probably going to get the wrong idea if they see you carrying me into the cafeteria like this." I tried looking back up at him.

"Okay," he said dismissively. He put me down and pulled me onto his back. A song popped into my head and I began to hum it, singing it in my head at the same time (_Riding on your back is the latest trend…_) "That's a new one," he said.

I laughed. "It's from the movie Juno. It's funny. The main character, Juno, is hilarious. You should see it sometime."

We stopped in front of the cafeteria and Edward finally put me down. I took his hand and Edward went rigid, like in front of the administration's office. A horribly familiar voice snaked into my ears.

"You bitch."

I turned to give the owner of the voice a reason to call me a bitch, but when I was face to face with the owner, all fight in me disappeared.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: ***runs and cowers* don't kill me! i am officially out of school and will be more consistent in updating! Though i will warn you, i'm leaving for New York for a couple of weeks in late july and early august, so no updates then. But I swear! I'm getting to the good part! I kinda like this chapter because there is actually a happy part in it. So please review! The more reviews, the more COMPELLED i feel to update!

**Chapter 17**

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Why in Hell is the bitch here? "Renee?" I took a step towards her, but Edward held onto my hand. For a moment, I forgot he was even there.

She looked enraged. "Who gave you the right? How could you do something so callous? I tried to help you, I really did. I thought sending you here would be good for you. Apparently, I was wrong." I just noticed she was clutching a postal folder in her hand along with a black Arcadia bag. I was more than surprised to find a pair of Nike's on her feet.

I still didn't know what she was ranting about. "What the hell are you talking about? Why are you here?" Edward clutched my hand a little harder.

"She doesn't know," Edward said. I shot my head around. He was looking at Renee. He looked down at me with apologetic eyes. I caught a glimpse of fear, too.

"Oh, and you do? Who do you think you are getting involved in this? I don't even know who you are." Her face going red, she threw the package onto the ground. "And what do you mean 'she doesn't know'? How could she not? She's at the center of all of this." Murder was imminent in her face.

I yanked my hand away from Edward and backed away from the both of them. I didn't know which side I was on. "What is going on Edward? What happened?" I looked to both of them.

Renee didn't hold back. "You think that you have the right to do this to Phil?" She screeched. My heart thumped faster. "You take your anger out on him by filing charges? What did he ever do to you? He doesn't deserve this! He tried to take care of you. Even after we sent you off he kept tabs on you to make sure you were alright. He does that and now he is facing charges of rape and assault!"

Nothing she said processed. My brain took one syllable at a time and broke down the meaning of her words. I don't know what kind of expression I had on my face, but I'm pretty sure it looked like genuine confusion.

"We need to take this somewhere else," I heard Edward say, but I didn't tear my gaze away from my mom. I didn't feel his cold hand take mine, but the next thing I knew, he was pulling me towards the dorms. Renee followed suit.

Making it pass the speculative stares from the students, we eventually made it to my room. Edward held onto me as if he were holding a barrel of snakes…one open at both ends. I guess he thought my state seemed pretty delicate.

Edward spoke to Renee. "She doesn't know. She's been an amnesiac since a couple of weeks ago, around the time the authorities took Phil." He explained briefly.

That didn't satisfy Renee. "What happened? I didn't receive any bills. I never heard anything about this." She folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight to one leg. I paid close attention to what Edward said.

He looked at me speculatively, seeming to choose his next words very carefully. "She and Phil encountered each other. Phil hit Bella and she hit her head hard. She doesn't remember the accident."

Until now.

Everything came crashing down on me like a wave. It took my breath away.

Phil threatened Charlie and Renee. I flew down to Texas and saw him. His words. All I could remember were his words.

I screamed.

I didn't know what else to do. What else could I have done? Sit there in silence as my memories took me alive?

The memories didn't stop there. Even though in the back of my conscience, I was aware of Edward talking to me, my mind focused only on the memories.

He touched me everywhere. I couldn't' see anything, but, God; I could feel everywhere he touched. A chill ran over my body and goose bumps appeared on my skin. I heard voices, but saw no faces. The voices seemed so far away now, and I couldn't match them up with anyone I knew.

"Bella!" Edward shouted. I removed my hands from my face and met his frantic eyes. Looking past him, I saw Renee, looking as confused as ever. My labored breathing filled the room.

"He…he…" I couldn't get the words out. The words escaped me.

"No, no, he didn't," Edward soothed. "I promise you. We were there. He didn't." Part of me was relieved, but the other part of me worried.

"What happened after we left?" I croaked out.

Renee scoffed. "I'll tell you what happened. I get home from New York and I find cop cars and policemen surrounding the house. I asked them what in hell was going on and they tell me my husband has been arrested for rape and assault of my daughter!" She glared at me. "I can't believe you did this." She looked at me with enraged disappointment.

I glared at Edward. "Why? Why did you do that? After what happened, after what I _told_ you, you still turn him in. I knew this would happen if I did, and you go ahead and do it anyways. How can anyone win this fight, Edward? Tell me, in who's right mind would do something so asinine?" I felt tears prickle in my eyes.

His expression didn't change. "It wasn't me." He said.

"Then who—" it all made sense. He avoided my calls. He never returned any of them. I knew why Edward knew more about Jake than I did. Jake turned him in.

"Jake went to the cops." I said flatly. Edward nodded. Today was going to be so much fun. I turned to my mom. "Mom, I didn't mean for all this to happen. Some moron decided to play judge and jury. I'll fix this mom, I know I can. Just give me a minute," I said, standing up. "To pack and I'll fly down with you. I know I can fix this." My talking went faster. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Don't worry mom, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of you. I never—" she interrupted me.

"What do you mean, 'take care of me'?" Her voice wasn't angry. I kept looking around the messy room for the damn suitcase.

"Damn it! Edward, do you know where I put the suitcase? I can't find it. I mean, mom that this was never supposed to be discussed. This was never supposed to happen. I did everything in my power to make sure it didn't, but apparently, my words and desires are passed off as nothing with everybody."

"Bella, would you please calm down," Edward pleaded. Ha! Found it!

"Is it true?" My mom asked. "Is everything Jake said in court true?"

I grabbed the first articles of clothing my hands came in contact with. I forced out a chuckle. "That depends on what he said." Edward grabbed my arm.

"Bella, stop for a second, okay? Think rationally." He looked so worried, but it didn't occur to me until a while later. "You can't go."

I gaped. "Think rationally? Oh, right, because handing Jake the material to ruin my mother's life is _so _rational," I finally figured it out. "Jake wasn't there that day. You were. You handed over everything. I'm the only one that can fix this. Let go," I demanded. He eased up and I yanked my arm out of his grasp.

"Tell me the truth!" My mother screamed at me. I turned my head to look at her irritated expression. "Jake said," she swallowed. "Jake said he's been raping you since you were thirteen, and that the one time you tried to stop him he attacked me," she didn't want to believe it. Neither did I. She looked desperate. I could see it in her eyes. "Tell me it's not true."

My mom thought she'd found true love when she met Phil. She's young and beautiful, but she never really found the right guy. I always believed that Charlie was the right guy, but she couldn't stay with him for some reason. She wanted the sun, and thought Charlie was holding her back. She thought Phil was the best guy anyone could ever ask for. Now I'm going to take away everything.

I swallowed all the pain I suffered, blocked any thoughts that told me this was wrong, and told her, "It's not true."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. Now I'm glad I sent you away. Being with that boy is a bad influence." She collected herself and straightened up.

The door flew open. "Bella! Oh my God you will not believe—" Alice stopped talking. The extremely happy look on her face disappeared and went serious. "She knows?" She asked Edward. He nodded ruefully. She shook her head. "Let me guess; she's going to fly down to Texas and testify against Jake?" I heard no emotion in her voice.

"You guessed'er Chester," I answered, zipping up my suitcase.

Alice sighed in defeat. "Masochist." I glared, but hers looked more impressive.

"Let's go mom." I said, ignoring the anxious looks I got from Edward and Alice.

My mom, for once, actually looked glad to be with me. "Thank God. I'm so glad this is just a misunderstanding. Phil told me you'd be able to fix this." I stopped, but my mom kept walking.

She turned around when she heard I wasn't following. "What are you waiting for?"

"I'll meet you downstairs in a minute." I told her. She shrugged and closed my door behind her.

"Why are you doing this Bella?" Alice threw her hands in the air. "If anything, what she said just now proves that she's using you and Phil knows that you would do anything to help her. This is exactly why we didn't tell you!" Alice paced back and forth in frustration. Edward stood still, with a pained expression on his face.

"I can't do that to her. I'll do something about it when I can figure out how to do it without getting anybody locked up in jail." I muttered.

"Bella," Edward took my hand. His sad expression left me feeling guilty. "Please don't go."

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. After a minute of bliss, I forced myself to pull back. "I have to," I whispered. "If there was any other way to do this, I'd do it. But no one is winning Edward. If anyone should be happy, it's Renee."

I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve to have people like Edward and his family looking after me. I didn't deserve the love that Edward gave me, nor the compassion. I ruined people's lives. Out of misery I told Jake and complicated his and his brother's life. Edward could've lived peacefully with his family for the rest of eternity without me instead of having to fight pointless human battles. I guess I have a gift.

"And you don't deserve to be happy." Edward looked disapproved.

"No." I let go of him.

"I should go with you." He said.

I turned around. "No. You being there would only make it harder for me. Jake is already going to give me hell for doing this. Trust me to do what's right Edward."

I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I walked out on Edward. I left him and Alice, standing dumbfounded in my room. I took a deep breath and made my way downstairs, where I found my mother chatting excitedly on the phone.

"Yes, she is willing to testify against him…yes, I'm taking her back with me." She smiled at me warmly and I tried to smile back, but it felt awkward and forced. She waved for me to follow her. I dragged my suitcase and myself past the judgmental stares of the students in the commons. Doing my best to ignore every single one of them, I focused on following my mom. There was a taxi waiting for us outside.

"Yeah, okay, bye." My mom finally hung up the phone. She smiled enthusiastically. "Okay, let's get the show on the road." The taxi driver took my suitcase from me and opened the passenger door for me. I ignored the courtesy and sat in the backseat, completely silent.

"Hurry up Bella, we're going to be late for our flight," she waved me over to her and I went. I didn't know if she just treated me with respect out of obligation, or if she still acted like a mother now and then.

After getting past the endless line of security, we boarded our flight. Halfway through the flight, my mom spoke to me again.

"You're awfully quiet," she pointed out.

I shrugged. "What is there to say?"

She thought for a moment. "Why did Jake do such a thing to Phil if he didn't have a reason? I know the boy cares for you, so why'd he do it?" She seemed genuinely curious.

"I honestly don't know mom. I'll be sure to ask him though." I didn't want to give her long answers.

She pushed. "The things he said, though!" She looked appalled. "He said that he went into your room every night and touched you and—"

"Okay mom," I interrupted a little too loud. "I get the jest of it." I felt sick to my stomach.

"Are you alright honey? You're looking a little pale," she felt my forehead with the back of her hand. I gently pushed it away.

"I'm fine, mom. I just don't like flying." I didn't like lying either.

She sat back in her seat. "I can't really tell, but I have the feeling that you've been lying to me."

It's strange how my mother can be so motherly when she wasn't in Phil's presence or anywhere near his property. She acted like my mom. I appreciated that.

"I've lied to you a lot," I conceded.

She flinched. "What about?" She asked quietly.

"You don't want to know."

She sighed. "Try me." I could tell part of her didn't want me to. I kept quiet. "Did you lie about what Phil did to you?" Her voice trembled. "Tell me you didn't, Bella. Tell me _he _didn't," I could tell in that moment that she wanted with all her heart to believe that Phil was innocent. I wanted to crush that hope. I wanted so badly to just tell her everything. I wanted to make sure she knew what I put myself through in order to protect her. I wanted her to stop seeing lies and realize the truth.

The thermometer broke.

I turned on her. "He didn't mom. He didn't give me the little smirks at the dinner table, he didn't threaten to hurt you if I didn't cooperate, he didn't put his hands all over me at night when you were asleep, he didn't drag me from my bed every goddamn night at midnight to undress in front of him and have sex from the time I was eleven to the time I was fourteen. He didn't even take away my virginity," I chuckled darkly. "He didn't threaten to kill Charlie if I didn't go to Texas to see him, and he didn't hit me on the side of the head causing me to become an amnesiac for the past couple of weeks and then try to rape me again. None of it happened mom." Everything came out so quick and harsh.

She looked shocked, hurt, and weak. She looked as if she were about to crawl in a corner and cry. I turned away from her shocked gaze and turned to the stewardess, asking for some more water.

~*~

We were late for the hearing. The plane got delayed due to the storms coming in. After I yanked the luggage off of the carousal, I marched quickly for the limo waiting for us. Taxi service is too lowly for Renee Dwyer. She hadn't spoken a word to me since my outburst on the plane. If she did, I probably would've snapped her head off. Several times, I saw Renee, out of the corner of my eye, open her mouth and close it quickly. She never did have the valor to speak up for herself or say what she had on her mind. I just kept my gaze on the raindrops trailing down my window all the way to the courthouse.

When the limo pulled up, I didn't wait. I flung the door open and soared up the steps, taking them three at a time. People in suits turned to gaze at the girl in jeans, Louboutin pumps, and a black blazer flying past them and towards the doors. It must have been quite a sight.

I walked up to the front desk like I owned the place. A show of confidence can get you anywhere. "Which room is the Phil Dwyer case in?" I demanded. The woman, mid fifties probably, pointed down a hall.

"Third room on the left side down the right hallway," she directed. I gave a nod of thanks and continued on my track. I counted down the doors and stood in front of the third. Taking a deep breath, I slowed my heart rate and tried to take the flush down a notch. After my heart stopped beating so fast, I opened the double doors and entered the room.

Press surrounded the room. The pews were filled to the maximum and the entire room went silent. In the front of the room, sitting next to his lawyer, a skanky blonde (typical), Phil turned around in his seat and grinned at me. Towards the front of the right side of the room, all my friends sat with anxious and startled expressions. Jake looked absolutely terrified; sitting next to a lawyer about half his size. And then I saw the one person I missed the most, but didn't want to see here.

Charlie sat in the front next to all my friends. Mixed emotions were on his face: joy, confusion, relief, sadness, and guilt. He was the only one who stood up when I walked in. His dark curls looked messy, his chocolate brown eyes looked tired, but he still looked like my dad.

A tear leaked out of my eye. "Daddy," I whispered, but he heard me. His eyes lit up and I couldn't get into his arms fast enough. We collided with each other midway. There were whispers in the courtroom, but I didn't care. Charlie held onto me so tight I felt air-deprived. I felt safer than I had in the longest time. Tears flowed swiftly down my cheeks. "Daddy," I whispered over and over again, as if saying it would make my experience more real.

He petted my hair and held me close. "Shh, I'm here Bella-boo." His childhood nickname for me got me all choked up.

"Young miss," the judge called out, and I knew he was speaking to me. Reluctantly, I pulled away from Charlie to look at the judge. His rectangular librarian glasses sat low on his Roman nose. "What is your business here?"

I hugged my dad one last time, whispering low in his ear, "I'm sorry," before turning back to the judge. I avoided looking at Charlie to in fear of seeing his expression and tried to rid myself of the lump in my throat so I could sound strong, but my voice came out just above a whisper. "My name is Bella Swan," there were a few intakes of breath around the room. "I am here to testify against the claims made about my step-father: Phil Dwyer." The expressions on all my friend's faces shifted to panic.

There was a moment of tense silence before pandemonium and chaos erupted throughout the room. The press went wild with their cameras and reporters, swarming around me, smothering me with questions.

"-Is it true about your step father?"

"—where have you been all this time?"

"—are you close to your step-father?"

"—where does your mother stand in all of this?"

"ORDER! ORDER IN MY COURT!" the judge shouted. Charlie (forever a Forks COP), guided me through the mob of reporters and sat me down next to him in the second row. The moment I sat down, all my friends whipped around in their seats to face me.

Becky whispered, "What the _fuck _are you doing?" Her voice oozed panic and anxiety. "This is your chance! If you don't get it out now, when will you? Because I'm sure as hell not letting one of my friends get treated like a sack of dog shit!" She shook her head furiously. "For once, put yourself first, Izzy. For once, allow yourself to be happy."

Instead of responding, I held onto Charlie's hand. I still couldn't look at him, too ashamed and embarrassed to tell him anything. He wrapped an arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. I knew all the people that would be looking at me, and I didn't want them seeing the truth in my eyes.

"Mrs. Dwyer, how nice of you to finally join us," the judge greeted a little coldly. I didn't turn to look at her, but I could hear her heels walk over to Phil's side of the room and take a seat.

"What are you doing, Bella?" Charlie whispered anxiously in my ear. I clutched him tighter.

"Doing what's best for everyone." I realized that this was the first time I'd seen Charlie in over seven years, and I could hardly look at him for what I was about to do. Would he be disappointed? Would he be angry, frustrated, or sad? I didn't know. And I didn't care to find out. But even though I feared his reaction to my decision, part of me prayed that I would return to Charlie's when school lets out, not Phil's.

"We may proceed. Up next to the stand is witness, Jacob Black."

I held my breath. Jake turned to look at me for a brief moment after standing. From the look in his eyes, I knew he would spill everything, no matter what I said or pleaded him. He loved me as a sister, and no sister of his is going to be treated like a piece of property.

It's my word against all who love me. I'm screwed.


	18. Author's Note: Promise Ensues!

Hi! I'm back! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a LONG TIME, but i've been on vacation for over two weeks with no internet connection! I know, I'm surprised I survived, too. Especially when your sister's boss was arrested before your eyes and all the snakes you see in Lake of the Ozarks are poisonous...thank God I didn't see any. I did witness ravonous Karp fish dive over each other for a piece of stale bread! Fascinating experience, really. New York is probably one of the most amazing cities man kind ever created; though I'm glad we changed the name to "New York" instead of "New Amsterdam". (If you need reference to that name, listen to "Istanbul (was constantinople)" by "They Might Be Giants") I promise you all that I will be typing up a storm this weekend. And if I am determined enough, I will even work during the season finale of Burn Notice! So I'm thinking if I work REALLY HARD, I can get two chapters up by next week (being Sunday). I hope you all have had a wonderful summer so far and have been educating yourselves how to be excellent spies, fencers, and writers! 


	19. Chapter 18

Sitting at the stand is probably the most terrifying experience ever. Every question the lawyers asked me felt like a stab. Each one reminded me of what Phil did to me. And each time they asked me a question, I answered with a lie. Yeah, the bible I just swore on five minutes ago? I don't give a shit. I've never been a frequent flier for church. I'm more spiritual than religious. So the only problem I have with lying on the stand now is that it will probably kill me (psychologically) in the very near future.

"Is it ture that he has threatened your mother's life?" My lawyer asked me (I know her name is Angela. She's a sweet girl. Phil's I found out, is Jessica). I looked at my mother straight in the eye to maybe give her a better feeling of security. I stared straight at her and lied. 

"No, that is absolutely not true. Phil loves my mother, and would never, under any crcumstances threaten her life." I didn't dare look at Jake. I could imagine the mixed expressions of horror and fury. I couldn't look at anyone. I stared into space, not making contact with anyone. When I was little, Charlie always called me his open book; that my eyes were like windows to the world: my world. 

Angela looked at me skeptically. "If all these speculations, aren't true, then tell me why you are here, Miss Swan." She looked to the audience. "Tell me why your friends are willing to bring all this to the press for no reason." Whipping back to me she tried catching my gaze, failing. "Tell me why you're sitting up in that stand today going against everything your friends have told us and arguing against evidence. Why?"

I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream the truth at the top of my lungs and put that jack ass smiling smugly at me behind bars so I could help rid the world of another rapist. I wanted to go back to New York and really give all of myself to Edward without a moment's hesitation. I wanted to tell the truth and thank Jake and all my friends for finally getting my cowardly ass up to the stand. I wanted to go back and live with Charlie once all of the drama was over. I wanted to ride horses and play music with Edward at my side all the time. 

But Renee was more important than me. 

What would Renee do if Phil went to prison? She doesn't have any friends because everyone thinks she's a real bitch (which she is, I'm not arguing that). She can't live with a boyfriend because all she has are little one night stands for her own pleasure. She won't go back to Washington even if her life depended on it. She would have nowhere to go. And it would be my fault. I could not live with myself having that on my conscience. 

Slowing my heartbeat and respiration rate, I said softly, "I was very young when I met jack and everyone. I missed my dad, Charlie, and I wasn't very fond of Phil. Living in a completely new environment did not help. I was so used to it raining almost every day, forests of trees, a small town of people who knew me," I looked at Charlie for the first time, trying to convey a message as I said, "It's always been my home."

Charlie is not a man of many words, and doesn't show emotions often, very cautious of what he puts on his sleeve. But his expression was enough to make me happy, but the single tear that escaped his eyes made me feel terrible, like by lying, I was slowly killing him also. 

"I might've said things to them during that time that could've given them the wrong idea," I said, trying to sound like the guilty party. "Now, looking back, I don't know why I said those things. I don't know why I lied to everyone. I guess the recent incident involving the pool of my blood at the bottom of the staircase ." Mumbles filled the room. "It was nothing more than a case of me being clumsy and tripping down the stairs."

"And why were you there in the first place, Miss Swan? You were supposed to be in New York at a very prestigious boarding school. What would cause you to abruptly return to Texas in the midst of your semester?" Her snappy questions irritated me, and I could tell that the feeling was mutual. I wasn't exactly being the most cooperative client. 

"I was getting to that part," I mumbled. The entire room hushed, but I heard one chuckle.

"Please, Mr. Dwyer, contain yourself," the judge chastised. Phil held up both hands in surrender with a smug grin plastered on his rather sinister face. He was thoroughly enjoying the fact that he still held control over me, and was gloating over his remaining ability to torture and manipulate me. I continued as if the slip didn't happen.

I still didn't know what I was going to say. I kept a calm face, but inside I panicked for a good bullshit answer to her question. "Jake was my first friend here, despite how long I was here, prior, and we've established a means of communication," I started, still frantically hunting down the right words. Telling a partial truth felt less painful to say. "He didn't return any of my phone calls or text. He'd never once ignored my calls. He said that if I needed to atlk to him that he'd always be there to listen. When he wasn't, I panicked and came back. He wasn't home, and I couldn't find him, so I went back to Phil's where I accidentally tripped down the stairs." I put emphasis on the word, 'accidentally'. 

"And, pray tell, what happened after that?" She inquired. I looked around the room at Angela's sharp eyes, the attentive expressions of the press, the frustrated wrinkles across Jake's forehead, and my mother's shell-shock blank face. I didn't know what to do, so I told them the truth…er, what used to be the truth.

"I don't remember," I said blatantly. Angela rolled her eyes and the rest of the room (those in favor of my side) groaned at the rather conspiritably convenient statement. "I woke up in the care of Dr. Cullen back in New York," I continued to explain. "I'm an amnesiac." 

Angela just sat back down at her table, pinched the bridge of her nose, looking frustrated and utterly defeated. She massaged her temples and reluctantly continued, "And could this 'Dr. Cullen' character account for your return? Could anyone tell you how you ended up in his care?" She couldn't even look at me anymore.

I shook my head. "He asked me that same question." I swear, by the look on her face, she was two seconds away from banging her head against the table. That is, until the judge saw her expression.

"Please, take a seat in the pews, Miss Swan. We are done with your question," he said gently and tentatively. I stood up and returned to my seat next to my dad. He just wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed tightly, not saying a word. He kissed my head. I leaned into his touch and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying his company while I could. "The next person I will call to the stand is Mr. Jacob Black." I stiffened like a deer in headlights…a pale-faced dumb brown haired deer.

I could hear his footsteps as he marched up to the stand with determined strides. I could hear him sit down eagerly in the chair at the stand. I could hear conviction in his voice as he swore on the bible to tell nothing but the truth. Before anyone could question him or put in a word, he asked the room, "Okay, how many people in this room really believe the bullshit she just fed to us?" I just leaned forward, burying my face in my hands and hoping no one noticed my despair. I didn't dare to look up to see how many people would raise their hands.

He continued, "Thank you for being honest. It's nice to know that some people in this courtroom are." I could feel his eyes stabbing me with daggers. My dad continued to comfort me by rubbing my back in little circles. This day could not possibly get any worse…well, maybe if Stephan Christian from Anberlin died. I was eating my own mental words after the questioning began.

"So would you like to replace any of the answers that Miss Swan gave us?" Phil's whorishly hot lawyer asked. I sat back up, regaining just a bit of my feeble composure. Jake did not bother composing himself and glared at Jessica.

"Oh," he chuckled darkly, making clear eye-contact with me. "There's a _lot _I'd like to change about those answers, but the last few I'd like to focus on." His attention turned back to Jessica. "First off, she wasn't lying about what she told me. I talked to Phil myself, and everything she explained was true. Second, the reason she came back in such a hurry is because Phil threatened her mother's life _again_ , explaining explicitly that she would never see her mother again if she didn't come and see him. So I think I've corrected at least three invalid statements."

"And where were you on the night of her assumed, 'trip'?" My lawyer asked this. 

Jake looked a little perplexed as he thought about his answer. He spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. "Well…the people who first found her…" --he jumped ship. "Oh, fuck this. Her friend from New York was the one that got to her in time. He called me as soon as the situation was defused and I came over and called the cops. The reason her blood was on the floor was because Phil slapped her so hard she fell over, passed out, and cracked her head on the first step, resulting in a concussion."

Oh. God

Shit. 

Holy shit.

Fuck my life. 

No one had to be a rocket scientist to know what question came next. I prayed, for the first time in my life I prayed that God would seal Jake's abnormally large motor-operated mouth for the first time in _his _life. 

"Who are her friends?" Both lawyers said at the same time. Angela asked with hope. Jessica asked with venom and pissed-off worry.

Breath had escaped me. Jake's words incapacitated my lungs. Bastard.

Jake shook his head. "I don't know, and at this point, I don't care. They got her to safety, they made her happy. The messages she left me following the accident confirmed that she was happy. And for that, I will forever be grateful." Yeah, until he finds out I'm dating the guy. For now, I felt satisfied and relieved that he didn't disclose any names.

"And you're positive you don't know any of the names?" Angela demanded, but Jake knew what she was really asking: "Is there a way to get their asses down here?"

Jake shut down her hopes with a small shake of his head. "No, I don't know any of their names."

They had no further questions, and the judge ordered that the trial be temporarily paused until the evidence was further investigated. 

Charlie, being the overprotective chief of police, escorted me to the car with Jake tagging along. I hugged the rest of the gang good-bye and we rode out of town. 

Renee had arranged for us to stay at the Embassy Suites hotel in Frisco, twenty minutes from the courthouse. She figured it was far enough away from the drama back at the house she shared with Phil, but the truth was that there was no place far enough away from him that would make me feel safe. 

As a tense silence filled the air in the town car, I awaited my verbal beat-down. 

So I was pleasantly surprised when it didn't come.

Jake just gazed outside the window at the passing cars, looking thoughtful instead of frustrated. I wanted to ask him what was on his mind, but part of me didn't want to know. I wanted to ask what Dad what he thought of me now, but I was terrified of what he would say. 

I felt as if I was going through the motions of life, as if time was moving ten times faster than me. Time was too fast for me to keep up. The photographers didn't bother me; I barely even noticed them anymore I was in such a state of despair. I hardly felt my dad pulling me by the arm to get me to walk through the hordes of people asking for the inside scoop, hardly felt the ground moving beneath my feet, hardly noticing the concerned glances that Jake cast my way. 

My body felt unresponsive to the world around me. After watching 'I Am Legend,' I'd wondered what it would be like to become a zombie. I wondered if I'd make that ridiculous "UGGGGHHH" noise, if I'd stumble around with stiff legs and my arms sticking out limp in front of me like a blind drunk. 

No. Being a zombie felt like nothing. You just didn't feel anything. If someone pinched me with acrylic nails I wouldn't have felt it. If a horn went off in my ear I wouldn't flinch. You just walk around. Not thinking, not feeling, not seeing, not hearing. The world is mute, and the only thing occupying your small bubble of a world is the occasional word of Conscience saying, 'Why bother?' 

I don't know how I ended up there, but a voice called me out of my bubble and I noticed the bedroom around me. The hotel room, I guessed. 

The voice calling me was Jake's. "Bells?" He said softly, concerned lines between his brows. I just stared, remaining unresponsive. "Bells, we are going to see what we can do about the press. We'll be downstairs, most likely. Both of our phones are always on if you need anything. I stopped looking at him, turning my gaze to the terribly patterned carpet. I didn't know if I'd really heard him or not, and frankly, neither did he. "Do you need anything, Bella?" He placed his hands on my shoulders, hoping to gain my attention and failing. He gave up, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. I heard his voice outside say, "yeah, she's just mess. She can't talk. She is physically fine, but she's gone. I'm willing to try anything at this point." 

Curling up into a ball, I crawled under the comforter, hiding my face in the weird, hotel-scented pillows, blocking out any and all sounds, sights, and feelings. 

I thought about Jakes question. 

What did I need?

Edward. I needed Edward. 

I needed him to wrap his arms completely around me like he does when I cut or when I'm down or when I'm happy. In his arms, I feel safe, I feel secure, and I feel loved. I feel like the rest of the world can't touch me or do me harm. When I wanted to cut, Edward held me so tight, so tight that there was no way I could bring harm to myself. He just held me tight, kissed my head, rocked me comfortingly, and whispered all the different ways to say 'I love you.' I needed Edward to do just that: wrap his arms around me and say that everything will be okay…that _I _will be okay, even when life made it feel like nothing would be okay. It all seemed possible and believable in Edward's arms. 

Finally, I felt something. 

The most horrible, unbelievably excruciating pain. My chest ached in a way that I never thought possible. My body contorted into the smallest ball possible in response to the sudden smack of pain. 

At first it sounded like a long squeal--the squeal that means you are holding in the tears with all your might-- but really, it was just the beginning. The long squeal turned into the most earth-shattering sobs. 

I wanted to die. I wanted to watch blood seep from my wrists and feel reality slip away for eternity. I wanted to feel the nightmarish pain secede from my body and never feel anything again. I wanted to find my razors, but my traumatized body couldn't move. I felt completely disconnected. 

My heart hurt. I could feel my body exerting too much energy, and I could feel it start to weaken. 

As quick as it came, the pain stopped. 

The world wasn't being turned upside down by my violent sobs. 

I felt calm. 

And like magic, I felt the secure embrace that had comforted me so many times before. Softly twisting my head around, I found the most pain-stricken topaz eyes I'd ever seen. 

Not caring how he got in the bed or why, I turned my body around and curled into his embrace. He held me tighter than he ever had, but it wasn't discomforting. I'd never felt more secure. He let me cry into his nice sweater, and dipped his face so his lips would rest on top of my head. I wished with all my might that I could hold him tighter, and my arms shook with effort. 

After I'd calmed down, and mentally came to terms with Edward's presence, I said, "Jasper's here."

"Yes," he said softly. 

"Is he gone now?" I asked. 

"Yes." 

I didn't feel the world coming to an end like I had mere moments ago. Everything fell to place, and the world was at peace, even if only for a little while. At least I had Edward. 

His hold didn't cease or relent at all. 

So much had gone wrong in the past twenty-four hours. I couldn't imagine being anywhere but in Edward's arms. Any place else would be a living hell. With his free hand gently running through my hair and his other arm wrapped firmly around me, I felt blissful, calm, content. 

Every moment without him felt like having my lungs ripped from my body. Breathing felt impossible. God himself couldn't put air into my body. But then he held me, and life would be restored to my empty shell of a body. The horrid pain I'd felt would've driven me to my death had it continued any longer. Without him, the pain would've raged on like a relentless forest fire, burning and killing any life in it's path. All I needed was him. 

"Sleep, Bella. You need it," Edward whispered. I had no problem being compliant. 

But somewhere in my sleep, I could hear everything going on around me. 

"She will continue to lie for the sake of Renee, which is the only thing I know for sure. She will bear this on her shoulders for the rest of her life if she won't even admit it in open court." Jake's frustrated tone made my chest tighten a bit. Edward's chest beneath me rumbled a bit. 

"She claims that Renee will make her life a living hell if she puts Phil into prison, which is, I'm sorry to say, probably true." Edward quickly added, "She has nowhere to go. She doesn't have any friends, she doesn't have a job or any money; just Phil and his American Express card. What would happen to her if Phil and his fortune got locked up?" At least someone close to me has common sense and half a brain. 

"She could find a job. She has a teaching degree, why not use it?" Jake sounded pissed. "She did just fine with Bella when she was single, and now that she's without her, she will have much more than she did." I heard the rustle of paper and Jake sigh. "You know her better than I do at the moment, I hate to say. She is dead set on making sure that she is miserable and her mother is hanging with the mile-high club. Do you think you can convince her to say otherwise in front of a court?" 

My best friend in the entire world was trying to conspire against me. Fantastic. 

"I will stand by Bella in whatever she wants to do. She knows what's best for her, and if she believes that keeping her mother happy is what's best, then let her do it. But you know that I can't put my family at risk by going to court." I heard pen being put to paper for just a moment, wondering if Jake was signing papers. 

"Fine," I heard Jake mutter, "but I will do my damnedest to make sure he's put behind bars after all of this." The door slammed as he walked out of the room. 

After a few minutes, I finally decided to say something. 

"Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?" he asked softly. His hand brushed through my hair once more and every part of me relaxed.

"For sticking up for me," I told him. "Ever since I left New York, I've felt so vulnerable, and I've never felt so alone. Despite being surrounded by my friends and my dad, I felt like they were conspiring against me; doing everything in their power to make sure I don't succeed. It really sucks meatballs when you have no fucking clue who to trust." A tear leaked out and I quickly wiped it away.

"Meatballs?" Edward inquired with a bit of humor. 

"Yeah, meatballs. It'd sound a little inappropriate if I just said 'balls'. I don't want you to get all excited over a little sexual connotation." He chuckled.

"Since when did you care?"

"I don't. But meatballs is more fun to say anyway." 

"You know, Bella," Edward started to say, "you can always trust me. I may not agree with everything you do, in fact, right now I think what you're doing is downright stupid," I winced at his words, but conceded. "But I love you, and even if you do succeed, I will make sure that all the measures are taken to ensure your safety against Phil. I will never let him hurt you ever again." He may have kept going, but I stopped listening after 'I love you.'

I sat up and turned to face him, feeling a bit perplexed. "Sorry, I think I zoned out for a second. Could you repeat that?"

Then he looked a little confused. "I said I will do everything--" 

"You said that? No, wait, I'm talking about the part where I stopped listening."

He looked amused. "When did you stop listening to me?"

"After the 'I love you part'." 

He just nodded his head. "Right. That part. Well after that I said--"

"I don't care what you said after that!" I groaned. "What I'm trying to ask is, did you really mean it when you said you loved me?"

"Of course I meant it!" he said incredulously. "Do you need to hear it again? I love--" 

It's not that I liked cutting off his sentences, it's just that I'm too impatient to let him finish them at the moment. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine, which he responded rather nicely, wrapping his hands gently behind my head, pressing just a bit closer. 

He said he _loved _me. And he _meant _it. Besides Charlie, I'd never really heard those words directed towards me. All my life I've just wanted people to care. It seemed like too much to ask for back then. Now I have so many people who can sit down and enjoy my company and vice-versa. Edward and I had established a permanent connection, however strange. Despite him being a vampire and me being of the homo-sapien breed, it felt like a minor fact that could be overlooked. 

Love isn't something I have to ask for anymore. 

I took comfort in his arms around me and his lips moving with mine. Just a few happy tears rolled down my cheeks. For a brief moment, I wondered how this insanely beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny, tasteful, horse-loving and sometimes overbearingly protective person came to love me. I decided not to jinx it by dwelling on the subject. I felt too happy to care anyway. 

"I love you, too," I whispered against his lips. He smiled, and I returned the gesture. 

His thumb smoothed away the tears on my cheeks and cupped my face with his hands. "You are so beautiful," he said, almost to himself. "I don't understand how anyone could ever hurt you." 

The world is a sick place. And in this sick world, there are very sick people; Phil being one of them. There are also very few things in this world that can make me cry. Phil's abuse, my mother's verbal abuse, Edward's absence, and when my trust is betrayed. 

"I'm just an easy target," I said mildly. "And in a lot of ways, I think I deserve what I got." 

Maybe if I treated my mother and Phil with a little more respect when I was younger, none of this would've happened. Maybe if I'd actually gone to school instead of ditching all the time my mother wouldn't have sent me so far away. I've lied so many times that I've become good at it. I don't take advice, I am stubborn, and now all of it has come full circle, biting me in the ass. 

"You don't deserve anything but the best, Bella," Edward told me seriously, with scarily narrowed eyes. "Never doubt that." 

I turned away, kicking my legs over the side of the bed and glancing at the clock on the nightstand. 

"It doesn't matter what I get. So whatever happens over the course of the next twenty-four hours, it doesn't effect anything. Things will go on as normal." I turned around and gave him the biggest fake smile I had. "It's two in the morning. What do you want to do?" 

Edward just frowned. Well, I couldn't please everyone. "I think you need some intense therapy," he murmured, shaking his head.

I brushed off his comment. "So I hear. But you love me either way, right?"

He smiled just a bit, "Yeah. I love you--crazy or not." 

"Do you consider breaking into the pool at two A.M crazy?" I asked.

A little light lit his face, and I saw a grin grow on his lips. I took it as a 'yes'. 


End file.
